Working with Beliefs
The list below is intended to simplify the process of analyzing the reasons for your own behavior in different situations . Below is a short guide with questions. They need to be answered for the most in-depth consideration of what prevents you from changing your beliefs .
Is it possible to lose such and such a belief, do we want to change something, we have a “thorn” from childhood, “you can’t do this,” “money doesn’t buy happiness,” etc.;
Simplicity, freedom, comfort in relationships - this is what appeared thanks to some view or not,
that is, is there a willingness to “understand, forgive.”
What sphere of existence is affected by a certain judgment, at work (“they don’t understand me”, “how is he/she better than me” or in everyday life “she only needs money from me”;
Consequences of attitude for behavior;
photo from pictures yandex.ru
Prospects for abandoning a certain point of view.
What negative life experiences give us
Life experience is one of the most important things in life. We all strive to be independent, wise, confident individuals. However, sometimes we forget that our wisdom is experience gained over many years. For the sake of such experience, many people go through many obstacles and difficulties in life. For this reason, the experience of the older generation is very important for us, as it carries life lessons - the most valuable knowledge
Life is what it is now. We always expect incredible things to happen in the future, but we forget that life is happening right now. Learn to live in the present moment and stop hoping for illusions in the future.
Fear is an illusion. Most of the things we fear will never happen. But even when they happen, they often turn out to be not as bad as we thought. For many of us, fear is the worst thing that can happen. The reality is not so scary.
The most important thing in your life is your loved ones. Always put them first. They are more important than your job, hobby, computer. Appreciate them as if they are your whole life. Because that's how it is.
Debt isn't worth it. Spend your money according to your means. Live freely. Debt won't allow you to do this.
Your children are not you. You are the vessel that brings children into this world and cares for them until they are unable to do so themselves. Train them, love them, support them, but don't change them. Every child is unique and must live their own life.
Things collect dust. The time and money you spend on things will one day ruin you. The fewer things you have, the more free you are. Buy wisely.
Fun is underrated. How often do you have fun? Life is short and you need to enjoy it. And stop thinking about what others will think when you feel good. Just enjoy it.
Mistakes are good. We often try to avoid mistakes, forgetting that they are what lead us to success. Be prepared to make mistakes and learn from your mistakes.
Friendship requires attention. Protect your friendship like an ornamental plant. It will pay off.
Experience comes first. If you can’t decide whether to buy a sofa or go on a trip, always choose the second. Joy and positive memories are much cooler than material things.
Forget about anger. The satisfaction from anger goes away after a few minutes. And the consequences can last much longer. Listen to your emotions and when anger comes, take a step in the opposite direction. And remember kindness. A small dose of kindness can do wonders for those around you. And it requires little effort from you. Practice this daily.
Age is a number. When you're 20, you think 50 is a nightmare. But when you're 50, you feel like you're 30. Our age shouldn't dictate how we approach life. Don't let the numbers change the real you.
Vulnerability heals. Being open, real and vulnerable is great. This gives people around you the opportunity to trust you and share their emotions with you, and you can share them in return.
Posturing builds walls. Creating an image of another person in order to impress someone will play a cruel joke on you. Very often people see the real you through the image, and this turns them off.
Sport is power. Exercising on a regular basis should become part of your lifestyle. It makes you stronger physically, mentally and emotionally. It also improves health and appearance. Sport is the cure for all diseases.
Resentment hurts. Let her go. There is simply no other correct way.
Passion improves life. When you find any activity you're passionate about, every day becomes a gift. If you haven't found your passion yet, make it a goal to do so.
Travel gives experience and expands consciousness. Traveling makes you more interesting, wiser and better. They teach you how to interact with people, their habits and cultures.
You are not always right. We think we know the answer to every question, but we don't. There is always someone smarter than you, and your answers are not always correct. Remember this.
This will pass. Whatever happens in life, it will pass. Time heals and things change.
You define your purpose. Life is boring without a goal. Decide what is important to you and build your life around it.
Often risk is good. To change your life, you have to take risks. Making smart, risky decisions helps you grow.
Change is always for the better. Life is changing, and you shouldn't resist it. Don't be afraid of change, go with the flow and take life as an adventure.
Thoughts are unreal. Thousands of thoughts fly through your head every day. Many of them are negative and scary. Don't trust them. These are just thoughts and they will not become reality unless you help them.
You cannot control others. We want the people around us to behave the way we want them to. But the reality is that we cannot change other people. Respect the uniqueness and independence of each person.
Your body is a temple. We all have something we hate about our bodies. But our body is the only thing that belongs only to us. Treat him with respect and take care of him.
Touch heals. Touch has many positive properties. They normalize the heartbeat, improve well-being and relieve stress. This is a gift meant to be shared.
You can handle it. It doesn't matter what situation is in your head. The reality is that you can handle it. You are much stronger and wiser than you think. You will get through this and survive.
Gratitude makes a person happier. And not only to the one to whom gratitude is addressed, but also to the one who says it. Don't forget to thank people for everything they do for you.
Listen to your intuition. Your judgment is very important, but intuition is your superpower. She uses your experience and life model to find the answer to any question. Sometimes it arises spontaneously, and it is better to listen to it.
Remember yourself first. Don't be narcissistic, but remember that the most important person to you is yourself.
Being honest with yourself is freedom. Be honest with yourself. Self-deception is blinding oneself.
Ideals are boring. Perfectionism will make your life boring. Our differences, characteristics, phobias and shortcomings are what make us unique. Remember this.
Take action to find purpose in life. She won't find herself. Help her with this and do everything possible to find the target.
Small things are important too. We all expect big victories and achievements, forgetting that they consist of small and sometimes even imperceptible steps. Appreciate these steps.
Learn. Always. If you think that you know at least 1% of everything that is in our world, then you have never been more mistaken. Learn every day, learn something new about different things. Studying keeps our brain sharp, even in adulthood.
Aging is inevitable. Our bodies age and we cannot stop them. The best way to slow down aging is to enjoy life and live each day to the fullest.
Marriage changes people. The person with whom you have connected your life will change over time. But so do you! Don't let these changes take you by surprise.
Worry is pointless. You should only worry if it leads you to a solution to the problem. But the nature of worry is such that this will never happen. Worry shuts down your brain and you are simply unable to resolve the situation. So learn to cope with anxiety and try to get rid of it.
Heal your wounds. Don't let wounds from your past affect your present life. Don't pretend they don't mean anything. Find support from loved ones or those who professionally treat emotional trauma.
Simpler is better. Life is full of complications, confusion and obligations that only make it worse. A simple life gives space for joy and favorite activities.
Do your job perfectly. If you want to achieve anything in life, you have to work. Of course, there are rare exceptions, but don't count on them. Rely on yourself.
It's never too late. Being late is just an excuse for not trying. You can achieve your goals at any age.
Actions heal sadness. Any action is a cure for worries, procrastination, melancholy and anxiety. Stop thinking and do something.
Do what you want. Be proactive. Don't wait for life to throw you a bone. You may not like its taste.
Let go of your prejudices. Don't be attached to society's opinions or beliefs. Be open to any opportunity or idea. You will be surprised how many opportunities life gives you if you don't reject them.
Words matter. Think before you speak. Don't use words to hurt someone. Once you do this, there is no turning back.
Live every day. When you are 90 years old, how many days will you have left? Live and appreciate each of them.
Love is the answer to every question. Love is why we are here. This is the force that moves the world. Share it and express it every day. Make the world a better place.
Attitudes that prevent us from assessing correctly
See the world in black or white . Categorical: “This is complete nonsense!” speaks of a reluctance to delve into the situation. Maybe there is no time or desire. Or just lazy.
Exaggeration of assessments: “This person can do anything!” On the one hand, these phrases speak of steadfastness and firmness of opinion. However, restraint and the ability to notice details are absent here. Global generalizations distort a person’s true picture of the world.
This attitude also characterizes the dream of an ideal. The habit of extolling this or that person, judging by individual achievements. And once a loser, in the eyes of the perceiver, he becomes labeled a loser once and for all.
The life of a person with such beliefs is like a roller coaster. Such conclusions lead to the fact that he misses chances. Incites conflicts without a significant reason. Idealizing people often turns into acute disappointment.
Past life experience, or “Rake”
Does a person need it? Is it beneficial? Should a person rely on it? What is he teaching? Does a person learn from his mistakes? Or he steps on the same rake again and again... or on different ones... There are rake that teach... and there are my favorites... as you may have guessed, I’m talking about experience... life, which...
Maybe it’s still worthless old trash lying in the garage or, like grandfather’s old chest in the attic, requiring sorting and disposal... But for some, his past life experience is a whole life - a life of only memories (at the same time, it is more valuable than the present... a person sees himself only there... in the past). But if he sees himself only there fully, then there is no new life... So what to do? Let go? Throw it away? Erase and move into the new... and what is new? And where is this new one? And will it be better? Or should we still live in memories... live in the past?
Everyone decides for themselves... it’s a choice... sometimes a difficult choice...
You won’t be able to sit on two palm trees at the same time... You still have to let go of one palm tree...
Don't let go of the old experience, new ones won't come...
If you give out information, new information comes... if you hold it back, don’t finish it, it stops coming. Information, discoveries, inventions have no owner, they have relays... conductors... authors. You give more, more comes... Is it possible to teach and mentor children based on your experience... “Don’t swim beyond that reef!” - Dad said to his daughter for many years, based on his own unsuccessful story... but this is only his experience... and his daughter turned out to be a conqueror of the seas... So why does he need experience? Everyone has it... Each of us... Some have more... Some have less...
Behind us there is a huge baggage of negative situations, stories, memories, experiences, unsuccessful relationships, business projects that happened to a person in the past. You can go through life with an ever-increasing baggage of personal history... On flat ground it’s still nothing... Stopped... Rested... And further... What if uphill? You're unlikely to climb far?! And why?! It's easier here! Everything is mine with me!
I’m talking about what prevents the acquisition of new experience is not only fear... the person’s ego also interferes... I am a person... A person has experience, and it is valuable, and it is better for a person to know how to do it... there is only his opinion based on experience , and it is correct!
But the weight of the luggage becomes unbearable! But it’s a pity to leave, but there’s no strength to pull on either... And we have to choose... We have to decide to sit here with our luggage or move on lightly. Here is a man at a loss... Where can I get the strength spent on holding on to the horse-drawn cart of life experience... this is all I have... how can I leave... what is the purpose of living then... the meaning is lost... then there was life... and now... ehhhh... I wish I could have it all back or return there... and what's here... nothing here... everything is there... As a result, a person stands at a crossroads and cannot make a choice! “Binding” interferes.
Life experience is a useful thing... but here we are talking about connection to past experience, to memories (grievances, regrets and nostalgia). It is impossible to see the new and feel yourself in it... in the new with the “great” baggage from the past (old). It is this “binding” that prevents you from gaining new experience and moving forward...
As a result, a person gets stuck in memories... and life does not work out... because he is in past memories (present)... but in fact they are no longer there... and it is not entirely clear where the person lives...
It is still better here and now than in the events of the past... or future (which, alas, is also not good, because a person does not see his real possibilities behind his dreams and fantasies).
And experience, it can be different... positive, exciting, and then there is negative... A person with negative life experience usually tries to forget, to isolate himself from the past. Hide it somewhere far away and don’t look there, because it’s often painful and unpleasant there. But time does not heal, and past negative experiences sooner or later make themselves felt, so over time they become aggravated and become overgrown with somatic diseases... All the consequences of negative life experiences are reflected in a person’s lifestyle and physical health.
Situations from past experience when you:
- They felt a sense of duty;
- We made mistakes that we later regretted;
- Feelings of guilt;
- Offended;
- They were homesick;
- Lost;
- We parted;
- They swore;
- And your... personal...
These are situations that you can and should pay attention to. In fact, a person himself attracts similar situations in the future (unconsciously, of course) and lives them here and now. Therefore, it is very important to change your sense of reality and not get lost in the past, thus attracting negative new life experiences, stepping on the same rake... again and again.
The methods and techniques of Fluedic Dynamics allow you to change a person’s attitude towards his past experience (memory, of course, does not erase), helps to move forward, to let go of the past. Free yourself from a heavy load and move on to something new.
What is experience? Personal life experience? Other people's experience?
Felt-tip pen, the question is: what is experience? Is it needed and for what, what is it built from? Do I need to go through all life situations, live in order to find it, or are there some criteria? or should I learn something from the experience of “others” and somehow learn to analyze it and apply it in my life? or must everything be balanced equally to achieve true good?
experience is a combination of personally experienced situations and observed external situations.
what is experience? It's WHAT YOU SAW, not WHAT YOU UNDERSTAND. and therefore, the presence of experience may not affect the QUALITY of actions, no matter how surprising it sounds.
What then affects the quality of actions? the ability to find the right solutions to these situations through their analysis. Many people think that this is a direct consequence of the experience itself, but in reality, this is not always the case. a person can make the same mistakes all his life in the same situations, hit the wall a million times - he does shit, then gets another chance - and does the same shit again, etc.. and another just sees how he does it the first one will immediately understand how to do it in order to do it right. that is, the first has a lot of experience, but there is no solution, and the second, has little experience, but there is a solution.
Is it possible to absorb the experience of others in everything, without stepping on a rake yourself? here is a very important point in fact, you need to understand WHY a person analyzes the experience of other people. not at all in order to consider some situations lived through and completed, not at all.
if you saw that a person dug a hole with his hands, then you can understand that it would be better to dig the hole with a shovel, but whether he himself understood this is not important. that is, you can reason OVER the METHODS OF ACHIEVEMENT of the goal, but not over the goal itself. that is, you don’t know what it’s like to have a hole, to have a hole, but you know how you can have it in the most convenient way. that is, there is no need to consider other people’s analyzed situations to be fully understood and, as it were, even lived. no, only methods of implementation. this must be understood very well.
Moreover, you generally need to be very careful in somehow projecting situations in someone’s personal relationships onto yourself, because I repeat - each couple is unique, and you can only understand some very general things from someone else’s experience. if so, then this HAPPENS, etc. that is, this HAPPENS, but it WILL NOT happen to me.
From the experience of others, you can very well understand what you “don’t need” or “don’t want.” but it is impossible to experience what you would like. you just need to collect TOOLS for more correct independent implementation of situations.
Do you need to go through all life situations? of course not. Yes, this is impossible. a person is simply not able to survive all the situations available to people. and the phrase, “in life you need to try everything,” is nonsense and does not correspond to reality at all. Each person experiences a certain list of situations based on many criteria, and of course, not all of them are needed by him.
What criteria determine the need to experience certain situations? of the parameters of the person himself - his character, conscience, level of consciousness that requires certain situations and rejects some other situations, level of intelligence. Thus, the human gut, it itself pushes a person to certain actions, which it considers necessary and correct. Of course, there are temptations that you want not with your gut, but as if with your brain, but which do not come from consciousness and conscience, but are collected in your head. that is, like laziness, for example, which you want. a person is lazy because he wants to, but he knows inside that it is bad. Well, this is just an example.
a person often rejects things that come from within, and accepts whims that are on the surface, and problems and some undesirable results will result. listen to yourself, to your gut and overcome the urges that lie on the surface and push you down.
you say, “the attainment of true good.” Each person has different potential and different needs. but the good in general for any person is the discovery and development of one’s abilities, the realization of spiritual needs and overcoming the whims that inhibit these processes.
should everything be balanced? More likely no than yes. because some people need more of something and less of something. Balance, in the classical sense, cannot be called. some need more spirituality, some need more self-constraint, some need a fight against self-restraint. everyone has their own. look for yourself, listen to yourself. but not to whims, but to the gut, which knows exactly what you need.
