According to a very common opinion, psychology is understood at the level of intuition by any sane person, which means there is no need to study it. But this is a huge misconception, and, according to the authors of the book, if a person studies persuasion strategies from a scientific perspective, he will become a real master of persuasion of others and building relationships with them. It is thanks to the scientific basis that it becomes possible to obtain stunning results in the field of effective interaction with other people.
After reading this book, you will have a much better understanding of the processes that underlie interaction and communication. You will learn that you can very simply influence people's behavior and their attitude towards something. You will learn how to properly, ethically and honestly build your relationships with family, colleagues, partners and any other people.
The book will be useful to anyone who wants to learn how to be persuasive in any place, in any situation and with any people, both in oral and written communication.
About the authors
Robert Cialdini is a social psychologist, PhD, interpersonal relations professional, and recipient of the Donald Campbell Award for Excellence in Psychology.
Noah Goldstein is a faculty member at the University of Chicago Graduate School of Business and the recipient of several research fellowships and grants from US government agencies such as the National Science Foundation and the National Institutes of Health.
Steve Martin is a specialist and consultant in the psychology of persuasion, head of.
Psychology of influence. One Snake Charmers
Sometimes we really want to remake a person for ourselves, make him think the same way, make the same decisions as ourselves, it seems to us that this will be better for everyone... How to influence a person? How to inspire employees to perform great feats of work; how to instill in a child a desire to learn; how to get your spouse to change; How to develop several useful qualities in yourself?
2 6963 December 31, 2012 at 03:13 Author of the publication: Diana Gadlevskaya, anesthesiologist
Psychology of influence - the art of creating clones or self-deception?
How to influence a person? How to inspire employees to perform great feats of work; how to instill in a child a desire to learn; how to get your spouse to change; How to develop several useful qualities in yourself?
Sometimes we really want to change a person to suit us, force him to think the same way, make the same decisions as ourselves, it seems to us that this will be better for everyone.
The search for tools for psychological influence leads us to various courses, seminars, expands our library and audio library, and increases the fees of psychologists and coaches. What happens in real life?
Communication bridges are created, the threshold of trust is overcome, common ground is found, mutual understanding grows, even the notorious charisma develops, but the efficiency of the applied efforts remains below the baseboard.
Apparently, you had to be born this way... someone you listen to and hear, follow, want to be like, and for whose sake you are ready to change.
Or maybe there is such a universal technique of influencing a person that anyone can master? Like neuro-linguistic programming or hypnosis.
Tools of influence, manipulation, psychological methods of influence, methods of education and shaping or changing the way of thinking or certain character traits of an adult - all this does not work!
Unfortunately or fortunately, it’s hard to say, but what doesn’t work is a fact.
Each person is born already having a certain set of psychological properties - vectors - and the strength of desire in each of them - temperament. Any changes are possible only within the framework of existing vectors, and only until the end of puberty (12–15 years) can vectors be developed or remain in an undeveloped state. Depending on this manifestation, the implementation of innate properties will differ radically.
The internal state of an already formed adult directly depends on the complete realization of his innate properties.
During life, vectors do not change, they cannot be instilled or eradicated, just as it is impossible to change the way of thinking, values or priorities - you can only change the attitude through awareness of what is happening, through understanding your nature and the nature of others.
Communication that is complementary to human vectors eliminates the need for any influence, manipulation or coercion.
Understanding who is in front of you, you already know in advance what is in his head, what thoughts, values, priorities, what he can and cannot do, so there is no point in forcing, breaking, re-educating, since he will never change anyway , will not become different, will not begin to think differently.
The psychology of influence as a tool of manipulation is losing its relevance, becoming unclaimed, and gradually becoming a thing of the past.
The training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan allows, in a few minutes of communication, to understand the personality of the interlocutor and clearly understand all the properties and traits of a person, speak in a language familiar and understandable to him and create conditions that allow him to fully demonstrate his best qualities.
Effective influence on personality - where, when and how?
This instruction on the psychology of influence, as conveyed by Yuri Burlan’s training, illuminates the very concept of personality from a new perspective, and therefore reveals the special points of application of influence. And this is actually the most effective and can influence the personality to a significant extent.
It is possible to influence a personality only until the end of the process of its formation, that is, until the end of the period of puberty. The entire life scenario of a new member of society will depend on the changes that occur in the child’s psyche during this period.
As for adults, it is simply impossible to significantly influence the character, habits or way of thinking of such a person. Here things are different. Instead of trying in vain to make an eagle out of a duck, you can simply learn to see who is who.
So, in order.
Apples and apple trees
Parental influence on a child’s development is difficult to overestimate, but how effective it becomes depends only on the parents themselves.
In very rare cases, a child is born with the same vectors as his mother or father, but for the most part, our children are separate individuals, completely different internally from their parents.
Any parent can have the most positive impact on the personality of their child by raising a little person in accordance with what his innate qualities require, developing all the properties of his vectors and teaching him to realize his natural desires in a way that is most acceptable for the modern world.
The social environment in which a child grows up has an equally important influence on the formation of personality. Starting from a very early age (3–5 years), the baby takes the first steps to adapt to society. By playing out their innate species roles and being ranked, all members of the children's team gain the skills of communication and coexistence with their peers, which is extremely important for the further ability to adapt in any team or group.
At the end of puberty (12–15 years), a teenager for the first time takes full responsibility for his life, the development of vectors stops, and the process of realizing innate properties begins at the level to which they managed to develop in childhood. Realization is a continuous process that continues throughout life and the completeness of which determines the internal psychological state of a person and even the biochemical balance of his brain.
Each property requires its own implementation; a person is born to fulfill his specific role, and it is for this purpose that he is provided with the appropriate character qualities, abilities and a certain way of thinking. It is completely unrealistic to force him to perform someone else's specific role; putting other thoughts into his head and forcing him to behave differently is obviously a disastrous endeavor.
It often happens that a wife with a skin vector, who immediately determines the benefits and benefits of any situation, reproaches her husband with an anal vector for sitting at home, without a well-paid job, but possessing remarkable knowledge, experience and opportunities. Born to protect the hearth, women and children, she is trying to transform the original homebody and rear leader into a breadwinner, hunter and commander.
Yielding to the influence of their spouse, such husbands try to realize themselves in such popular and profitable areas as trade, advertising or technology. Finding themselves in an environment that is alien to their entire internal state, i.e., requiring a quick reaction, a high ability to adapt to the situation and work in a constant rush, they completely lose the opportunity to concentrate, analyze the situation, draw conclusions and take advantage of their enormous encyclopedic knowledge or apply highly professional skills.
Not receiving full realization, being in constant stress, losing one job after another, a person with an anal vector is also deprived of home peace and comfort, as family relationships deteriorate. This all leads to an increase in mental deficiencies, an imbalance in the biochemistry of the brain and a sharp need to satisfy one’s natural desires in any way, which results in domestic cruelty and violence, slander on the Internet and even homosexual or pedophilic thoughts.
Charisma, passion, fire in the eyes
We often hear about outstanding people who inspired many to great deeds, ignited them with enthusiasm, involved them in the implementation of their ideas, whom many followed with pleasure and joy, united by a common cause and goal, but each doing their own work.
Charismatic persons, people of influence, political leaders, military leaders or simply outstanding personalities to whom people are constantly drawn and are ready to do even crazy things for their sake. Who are they - God's anointed or sorcerers and how do they manage to influence the personalities of the people around them?
These are representatives of the urethral vector, owners of non-standard strategic unpredictable thinking, designed to carry out the advancement of his flock into the future. Born to be a leader, the most merciful and just, he enjoys giving, realizing his animal altruism; he takes responsibility for “his own” - this could be a school class, an enterprise team or the population of the country.
Feeling like we are part of his pack, inside the circle marked by his pheromones, we feel safe and secure. Four-dimensional libido and top-ranking pheromones make him attractive and desirable for any woman, because on a subconscious level she feels that the birth of offspring is guaranteed.
“His friends” adore him, “strangers” hate and fear him. Any threat to his pack or attack on his rank may provoke an aggressive response. A urethral outbreak of anger is like a lightning strike - instantaneous, powerful and unexpected, but after a second it has already gone out and forgotten about everything. His life and interests are in the future; the past does not interest him.
The psychology of the influence of a representative of the urethral vector is determined by our desire to be close to him, to feel under his protection, enjoying safety and security, to be inside the circle and to know that the leader takes full responsibility for the future.
His decisions are not disputed or subject to doubt, but are only accepted for execution, and there is no personal gain or revenge in any of them - solely the interests of the entire flock.
There is no coercion or manipulation in his influence - he is obviously above that. He infects us with his enthusiasm, inspires and captivates us, we ourselves want to be with him and walk next to him, we want to earn his attention, to be admitted into the circle of those close to him. But this does not change us internally, our character and way of thinking remains the same. Without a charismatic urethral leader, any idea loses its value, and our interest in it disappears.
I see spots on your aura...
If a person of influence carries others along with him, then there are people who are very susceptible to any psychological influences.
All kinds of auto-training, suggestions, extrasensory influences, even fortune-telling and predictions, not to mention hypnosis, have a very strong influence on the personality and psychological state of such people.
These are representatives of the visual vector in a state of fear. Sensitive, impressionable and emotional, they satisfy their need for emotional swings in fear, which is evidence of an insufficiently developed state of the visual vector, which is intended for love, compassion and empathy.
They make up the number of visitors to all kinds of fortune tellers, healers and psychics, perceiving all their failures and fears as the result of induced damage, the machinations of envious people, rivals or sorcerers. Being highly suggestible, viewers are capable of inventing a problem for themselves, inflating it to enormous proportions, having the slightest reason, thickening the colors and adding drama to the image, while sincerely believing in everything that is happening. They easily interpret every word of a psychic charlatan into a solution to their problem, convincing themselves of their insight and superpowers.
It is fearful spectators who join various sects, including marginal ones, where the combination of fear and love skillfully turns into an instrument for enriching the founder of this sect or the embodiment of his utopian idea of a fanatic.
I am the voice of God!
All kinds of sectarian gurus are capable of exerting a fairly strong influence on the personalities of their parishioners, turning them into ardent adherents of religion and resigned executors of the will of the head of the sect.
Religious fanatics, founders of sects, convinced of their rightness and exclusivity, are representatives of the skin and sound vectors. The sound desire to search for the meaning of life, the origins of existence and spiritual comprehension of oneself leads to the religious sphere. At the same time, religion is considered as one of the options for obtaining answers.
Poor development of the sound vector leads to the fact that its owner concentrates everything on himself, drowning in his own egocentrism and considering himself much more intelligent and enlightened, often even a divine messenger carrying out a special mission on earth.
The skin vector in this combination introduces an element of personal benefit into the activities of the sect leader, as well as the ability to organize a group of people and exercise constant control over them. Low development of the skin vector is embodied by property or sexual exploitation of one’s adherents, acquisitiveness, and increasing one’s own well-being at the expense of others.
Such a cutaneous sound artist, often paranoid with a fanatic complex, is fixated on his own internal states and is capable of exerting an inductive influence on the personalities of spectators attracted to him at the same low level of development as himself. The psychology of the influence of an inductive psychopath is based on fear: frightening impressionable viewers with the end of the world, hell and other horrors of death, at the same time he gives hope for salvation through worshiping him and following all his instructions.
Any influence on the personality of an adult can only be temporary and only in the case when the person is not aware of this influence.
Having systems thinking and understanding the vectorial nature of each person, it is not difficult to figure out what influence he can have on you.
When you realize the true psychological roots of what is happening, all attempts at manipulation or coercion to anything only cause you to smile condescendingly.
The only effective and beneficial influence on a person is adequate education in accordance with innate qualities, which is feasible only before the end of puberty.
The psychology of influence, the art of manipulation, character changes, personality re-education - all this is hopelessly outdated with the advent of new tools for the psychological understanding of human nature.
You cannot remake a person, but you can interact with him in an absolutely complementary manner, taking into account his innate properties and the level of their development.
No one can impart math knowledge to your child better than an anal teacher. A skin manager is the best option when choosing a deputy. The urethral leader is the main indicator of the company's prospects.
There are many such examples; you can learn everything about the skin and anal vector completely free of charge, soon at the introductory lectures
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Proofreader: Natalya Konovalova
Author of the publication: Diana Gadlevskaya, anesthesiologist
The article was written based on the materials of the training “System-vector psychology”
What is belief?
Persuasion is a science, even though it is considered by many to be an art. There are six universal principles of social influence: reciprocity, authority, commitment/consistency, scarcity, favor, and social proof. The following methods are based on them.
Method one
All phrases rely on the power of social proof. This means that if people are unsure of their actions, they will look around to determine how others are acting.
Method two
The more similar the person leaving the review is to the new target audience, the more persuasive the message will be.
Method three
According to the principle of social proof, people will adhere to the most common behavior pattern, and not necessarily the good one.
Method four
People who deviate from the average will be attracted to it in order to be more consistent with the norm.
Method eight
Messages that increase fear motivate people to take action to reduce the threat.
Method ten
The more personalized the request, the more likely it is that there will be someone willing to fulfill it.
Method eleven
There are three factors that help make a request for a service more persuasive: the service must be meaningful to the recipient, it must be unexpected and personalized.
Method twelve
In an effort to gain the support of another person, it is necessary to show sincerity and selflessness - this increases the likelihood of agreement and confidence that the main basis of cooperation is trust and mutual respect.
Method fourteen
Even a small initial request (remember the Foot in the Door technique?) can increase the likelihood of a positive response to a larger request.
Method sixteen
If you ask a person whether he will behave socially positively in the future, he will most likely answer positively. And after such a statement, he will be more motivated to fulfill his obligations.
Method seventeen
Commitments that a person takes on actively are more durable than those taken passively. People tend to judge themselves based on observations of their behavior, and make judgments based on actions rather than inactions.
Method nineteen
Apply in life the principle of Benjamin Franklin, who stated that a person who has done you a favor once will do it again with greater joy than the person who owes you.
Method twenty-two
If you want to make a statement without appearing like a braggart, you can ask someone to speak on your behalf—a technique that many public figures have used for years.
Method twenty-three
The results of those teams in which problems are solved together are always better than those of one average person and even the most professional specialist. Don't neglect team play.
Method twenty-six
There are situations when it seems that all team members have come to an agreement on some issue. In such cases, it is very effective and fruitful to support an alternative point of view.
Method twenty-seven
Remember that learning is a great way to influence others. If you want to maximize your impact on your employees in the future, you must implement certain training programs in your work.
Method thirty-two
Research by social psychologists has shown that people often respond very well to certain nuances that are associated with them personally, for example, with their names. Some definite facts indicate that a person will be more willing to fulfill someone’s request if he learns, for example, that he was born with the one who asks him for something on the same day.
Method thirty-four
In communication, it is very useful to use a technique called mirroring: if you mirror another person, he will be able to do what you need, because Similarities between people can create sympathy and strengthen bonds.
Method thirty-eight
Surprisingly, the phrase “because” has enormous persuasive and motivating power. These words have such a unique impact because of the association associated with them: as a rule, they are followed by a positive rationale.
Method forty-one
If you give a message a rhyming form, it will not only be more pleasant to hear, easier to remember and quote, but it will also be more persuasive.
Method forty-fifth
Research by psychologists has shown that in order to better remember advertising in the media by consumers, it is effective to use memorable trademarks on packaging and in store displays.
Method forty-seven
Before making an important decision or starting negotiations, you need to determine your emotional state. Immediately after serious emotional experiences, it is recommended to refrain from doing important things.
Method fiftieth
1,3,7-trimethylxanthine reduces the ability to resist persuasion if a person takes it himself, and increases the ability to persuade if he treats it to someone. 1,3,7 - trimethylxanthine - this is coffee. Treat those you communicate with coffee.
Proven ways to protect against psychological attacks on consciousness
The book “Psychology of Influence: Persuade, Influence, Defend,” in addition to information about the most effective methods of working with the consciousness of another person, also describes simple ways to prevent coercion towards oneself. Since scammers or dishonest people do not disdain any means of manipulation, it is better to protect yourself from psychological attacks in advance.
Ways to protect against effects on consciousness:
- in a conversation, try to carefully comprehend what you hear, do not give in to panic or fear, try to turn off your emotions;
- do not trust the information received, learn to criticize and carefully analyze any material, even if it comes from a trusted person;
- disagree with any arguments - you should hear all the options and choose the most likely one;
- avoid opinions that are deliberately imposed, try to independently draw conclusions from the information received;
- During the conversation, ensure that the interlocutor does not gain too much confidence; try not to share intimate personal information, innermost desires or secrets;
- do not respond to a strict demand to perform a certain action, especially if it is imposed by a stranger - it is recommended to wait and think about subsequent actions;
- monitor the interlocutor’s answers to your questions - if he evades, most likely, the person is trying to persuade him to take unkind actions.
If you read “The Psychology of Influence” carefully, analyzing all the information received, it is easy to notice that it is much easier to influence the consciousness of several people. Psychologists advise maintaining personality and individuality even in a group conversation, not being shy to express your opinion, and not following the lead of your interlocutors.
There are several simple techniques that, if followed, will allow you not to follow the manipulator’s lead. Psychologists recommend adhering to the following rules in conversation:
- do not respond to the interlocutor’s requests without first finding out all the details and even the nature of the requirements;
- think over the situation, provide clear arguments in favor of your refusal, politely warn that fulfilling the request is impossible;
- if the pressure is too strong, try to pause in the conversation - go to the toilet for a while, drink water or wash your hands;
- carefully weigh the information received, try to find weaknesses and show strength of character;
- try to tilt the situation in your favor (for example, offer cooperation, but with equal responsibility for completing the task).
Psychologists warn that most often people who fall under psychological influence are those who have not learned to stand firmly on their own or to lag behind their opinions. Low self-esteem, loss of self-confidence, excess trust in strangers are a number of other reasons that provoke falling under the influence of others.
To ensure that you do not fall under the influence of a manipulator, it is recommended to learn to have your own opinion, to assert yourself as an individual, and to unduly distrust your interlocutors, especially strangers. A critical look at any information is another way to prevent influence on your consciousness and avoid trouble. If it is difficult to cope with the task, it is better not to try to do it yourself - it is recommended to visit a psychologist and talk about the problem. The doctor will select an individual psychological therapy regimen, help you understand yourself and strengthen your consciousness.
Who should read the book?
To everyone who is somehow connected with the sphere of trade and business, politicians and teachers, psychologists and lawyers, those who, due to the duty of their profession, are forced to influence and persuade, and, no less important, to protect themselves from manipulation. If you have nothing to do with these areas, this does not mean that Robert Cialdini’s book is not for you. Knowing the “hooks” that there is a risk of falling into, the principles of influence and ways to protect yourself from them is necessary knowledge in the modern world of consumers and sellers.
Header image by Craig Whitehead on Unsplash.
