Psychology of a man after a breakup. Psychology of men during separation

When and why do men return?

Men returning to their former lover occurs for several reasons.

Old memories

The psychology of men during separation is such that at first the man feels a dizzying freedom. He starts going to parties again, drinking beer, surrounding himself with friends. But soon a painful melancholy comes. Random short-lived meetings with women bring little relief and seem meaningless. It turns out that the beloved always remained conscious.

Gradually, pleasant moments from the past become intrusive and deprive you of peace. The gentleman begins to think: it’s hard for the girl he loves without a strong man’s shoulder. The ex is jealous of potential new gentlemen and feels remorse for his own mistakes. After three weeks, the gentleman is overcome by real nostalgia, a great desire to renew the relationship. And he returns.

Longing for a lost relationship is often an explanation for why an ex-wife reminds her of herself. According to the psychologist, it is more difficult for women to forget past love.

Remember! Men perceive information with their eyes. Therefore, social networks (especially Instagram with a bunch of photos) greatly enhance old memories. As soon as a man looks at a VKontakte page, pictures of a girl, strong memories suddenly awaken, a great desire appears to start dating again, living together, making plans. That's why the ex-boyfriend begins to remind himself. The psychology of men is designed this way.

Unsuccessful attempts to find a woman similar to an ex-lover

After a long period of stability, it is psychologically extremely difficult for a man to find a partner. He actually formed a certain stereotype about the ideal lover. Finding a woman who meets the right requirements becomes very difficult. In the new lady, the gentleman subconsciously tries to see his former beloved, and constantly stumbles upon inconsistencies.

In general, looking for a new partner after many years of relationship is difficult. Representatives of the stronger sex quickly get used to the comfortable position when the woman is “already here, conquered.” That is why the former lover first reminds of himself, then returns to his beloved. The psychology of men gives rise to rather predictable actions.

The guy often constantly visits and corresponds. Going through all the stages of a relationship again, getting used to a girl and new requirements is not an easy task. Men quickly get used to good things; the stronger half of humanity is attracted by the lost “comfort zone”, the former lover. By the way, this also explains why the ex-wife reminds of herself. The psychology of both sexes is very similar regarding relationships after a breakup.

Even changing the VKontakte status from “single” to “dating” causes terrible jealousy. Your loved one will get incredibly angry when he realizes that his ex has started dating someone else. Men's pride will be greatly wounded. The representative of the stronger sex will have a great desire to “defeat” his opponent and return his beloved. Jealousy is an important factor that explains why the ex-husband reminds of himself. Psychology records a lot of similar facts.

Breaking up is a mistake

The gentleman begins to realize how beloved the road is, how much he has lost. The man suddenly realizes: he was constantly fixated on negative things and stopped noticing the positive qualities of his beloved.

Why does a man remind himself of himself: the psychology of men

According to psychologists, a former beloved man or husband sometimes imposes his own person for the following reasons.

1. He wants to figure out whether the lady’s feelings have faded.

Wants to find out if you are yearning for lost love. That’s why he writes messages and congratulates him on the holidays. The guy does this in order to restore his shaky self-esteem, to feel that his beloved is nearby. Or the partner still has feelings, the man wants to renew the relationship.

1. Banal sexual dissatisfaction.

Why does your ex-boyfriend remind you of himself? The psychologist's answer is simple: one of the reasons is a lack of sex. The desire to meet only sometimes is often prosaic. The gentleman simply lacks his previous sexual activity. The stronger sex quickly gets used to a certain “sexual rhythm”. If your husband or lover has had sex for several years in a row at least a couple of times a week, it’s difficult to readjust. Banal sexual hunger will make you call and invite you to a “conciliatory” date.

Why do exes remind you of themselves? Psychology says: it is very difficult to build a normal relationship with a man who “returns” simply to satisfy his libido. Be smart. When your ex-lover pesters you with calls in the evenings wanting to come over to satisfy your “basic instinct,” keep your cool. Yes, sex brings you closer, but this is a different case. Therefore, agree to meet only during your lunch break. Such a date excludes sex. This way you will quickly understand the true intentions of a man: does he just want to satisfy his sexual instinct, or does he really want to return to you.

What to pay attention to when a man shows up after a breakup?

The following things will help you make sure: your beloved or husband returned because he loves you. Selfishness, the desire to improve shaky self-esteem, to feel more psychologically comfortable have nothing to do with it.

1. The returning man is actively making plans.

He talks about a future together, hints: he’s ready to start a family. This is a serious sign: the gentleman has firmly decided to throw in his lot with you.

1. The gentleman has changed.

A man truly loves if he has rethought the reasons for the breakup, admitted his own mistakes, and sincerely strives to improve.

If a couple does not want to renew their relationship, but the separation has somehow affected their mental state - fears, panic attacks, bouts of depression or terrible self-doubt have appeared - we recommend contacting a psychologist - hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin.

What should a woman do to get her man to come back?

Women are emotional, men are concrete. Scandals often arise out of nowhere: a girl can lose her temper, throw a tantrum, a gentleman can tell the truth, offend with too harsh an answer. And the lovers part. Psychologists advise: if you want to return your gentleman, do this.

1. Avoid infantile tricks, “punishments”.

Immature, ridiculous actions will only further alienate your loved one or husband. He will understand that his wife, his beloved, reminds him of himself, wants to return. It is wrong to casually post links to your own “beach” photos with friends on VKontakte. Just cause irritation. Moreover, avoid childish “punishment” of your loved one for misdeeds. It’s stupid to start dating guys and tell your ex-lover about it to make you jealous. So you can finally lose your gentleman.

1. Give the opportunity to think things over.

For a couple of weeks, try not to annoy your lover with calls or text messages. Give the gentleman time to cool down, think everything over carefully, realize how important you are, and begin to feel sad. Bad memories fade from memory much faster than good ones. Two or three weeks will pass, the lover will simply be tormented by pleasant memories of the lost relationship.

1. Return gradually. Avoid drama and persuasion to return.

Just invite them to have a cup of coffee and chat a little. Avoid immediately starting to tell how much you miss you. Do everything more subtly, resort to hints. No stories about “hard life”, no attempts to make people feel sorry for them. Behave with your gentleman as confidently and positively as possible. Share good news, avoid negativity.

No persuasion to return, no accusations. Don’t say: “ready to forgive.” This will immediately show that you consider the gentleman to be the culprit of the breakup. Just push it away. On the contrary, admit your own mistakes, agree: you made mistakes. Then the man will be more willing to listen and admit his own mistakes. Say: the past is the past, we must live for today, without looking back. Let's understand: we are ready to start the relationship from scratch.

Remember! No preening. Dress normally as if you were going out with a friend. Otherwise, the guy may think: you are trying to please, please. The stronger sex hates women's cunning, tricks, and manipulation. Preening will only be harmful.

1. Change yourself, return to your old self.

During the period of separation, try to become better and correct mistakes. The young man will definitely appreciate it; the desire to return will become much stronger. Try to become the person your lover remembered when you first met. Behave more cheerfully, more casually. Let the guy remember why he fell in love. Dramatically increase nostalgia and the desire to return. After all, a break in the relationship between a man and a woman, as psychology claims, is painfully endured by both parties.

1. Get into better physical shape.

A positive-minded person always attracts people. To have more good thoughts, fewer bad emotions, improve your physical shape. Start running in the morning and doing some light exercise. Increase the amount of endorphin, serotonin, dopamine - substances that increase vitality, make you more optimistic and cheerful.

To spite your bad mood, do more of your favorite activity that brings life satisfaction. Visit the theater, draw, listen to your favorite songs. By all means, distract yourself from dark thoughts about separation. Then it will be much easier to get your partner back.

Also inspire yourself: everything will be fine. Repeat: your loved one will definitely return and become better.

Building relationships, let alone rebuilding them, is not easy. This requires great emotional and volitional efforts. Relationships can be resumed if the man and woman still love, know how to admit their own mistakes, are ready to forgive and move on.

How men cope with breakups

For some reason, when talking about separation and divorce, they most often discuss how women, not men, experience such changes in life. Or rather, it is generally accepted that women suffer much more from a breakup than men.

In fact, such an opinion has no basis. Women are by nature more emotional and are rarely able to hide their experiences from prying eyes. Men, in turn, are more closed in expressing their feelings, but this does not mean that they are completely insensitive and do not suffer. Parting with a loved one never passes without a trace, regardless of gender, everyone just experiences it in their own way.

Ways to cope with heartache after a long relationship

It is possible to cope with depression and pain after a breakup with the help of various life changes, new hobbies, and activities. It is not necessary to change everything radically; sometimes small innovations can give existence new meaning and joy. Known ways to help get over a breakup:

Change your image - dramatic changes in appearance, according to psychologists, can affect life after a breakup, quickly changing it. Changing your image may include changing your haircut or color, clothing style, or updating your entire wardrobe. In addition, if changes take place in a beauty salon, this will become an additional pleasant pastime for the girl. Going in for sports - visiting the gym or doing a little exercise at home will help improve your mood and get a boost of energy after parting with your loved one. This is a great way to keep yourself in shape, which helps you feel confident and attract admiring glances from members of the opposite sex. Shopping therapy is the best way for women to fight depression and feelings after breaking up with a loved one. Updating your wardrobe always has a beneficial effect on a girl’s condition, helps her get through difficult times, improves her mood, helps keep her busy and takes her mind off suffering. When you go shopping with your girlfriends, you will not only buy new things, but also have fun. Going on a trip is a great chance to see the world, get unforgettable impressions and experience amazing emotions

During the trip, you will have the opportunity not only to enjoy the beauty of picturesque nature or architectural buildings, but also to think about important things. For example, analyze your actions, evaluate why your loved one fell out of love, whose fault it is and what should be changed so that mistakes are avoided in the future and other relationships do not end in separation. Starting a home renovation is a great opportunity to get distracted and radically change something in your life after breaking up with your loved one.

Make a small redevelopment, change the furniture that brings back memories of your former loved one, this will allow you to create your own comfort zone. To meet new people. People need new acquaintances like oxygen to maintain life, develop, and gain new knowledge. Arrange a reception for new acquaintances at your home, relax and have a lot of fun, which will bring back your zest for life and get over the breakup. Take your mind off sad thoughts: visit exhibitions, museums or theaters. Visiting cultural places provides an opportunity to gain inspiration, get closer to culture and the world of beauty, and helps relieve feelings after parting with a loved one. This is an excellent chance for spiritual development and self-development, thanks to which you will not stand in one place, but will constantly develop. Read positive literature - a good book can change your worldview, get a charge of positive emotions and find inspiration for a happy future. Preference should be given to books on self-education, psychology or classics, which can make you reconsider your views on life, evaluate your actions and other people in a given period. Literature can help you make plans for the future and forget about your worries after parting with your loved one. Buy yourself a pet - taking care of someone will help you forget about the breakup and get over this trouble. There will no longer be a feeling of loneliness, because upon returning home you will be greeted by a cute cat or a funny dog ​​that will brighten up your leisure time and help lift your spirits.

Separation on your own initiative

Most representatives of the fair sex are fully confident that men are either indifferent to the breakup of relationships, or are just annoyed at the time spent building a union. But, as mentioned above, this opinion is absolutely wrong. Men keep their emotions deep within themselves and do not allow themselves to show their inner turmoil even to close people.

Even if the separation occurs on the initiative of the man himself, he will still experience many different emotions about this, including:

• The desire to prove to the former lover that the light did not converge on her like a wedge. A man plunges headlong into a new romance, and the more vibrant the courtship period, the better. In fact, it is not only the desire to show off in front of his ex that drives a man, but also the need to break the existing emotional connection with his ex-partner.
• The desire to control the life of your ex. Many men, after a breakup, still believe that they have some rights to their former life partner. They may start monitoring her social media profile in an attempt to stay up to date with her daily activities. And if a woman has a new boyfriend, her ex may experience bouts of anger and sometimes even rage.

Even if the feelings have already exhausted themselves, the man still feels some emptiness; nevertheless, changes in the usual way of life never pass without leaving a trace. Most often, in order to get distracted, a man either looks for a new lover or completely focuses on work. Character also plays an important role.

Some representatives of the stronger sex, having broken off a relationship or divorced their wife, literally go to great lengths, rejoicing in their newfound freedom. It seems to them that they have finally gotten rid of the heavy burden that they were forced to carry on their shoulders for a long time. However, after a couple of months, the feeling of euphoria fades away, and worries about possible loneliness appear more and more often.

Tips on how to get over a breakup

A psychologist's advice on how to survive a breakup with a loved one includes not dwelling on your problem. Of course, you need to talk to a loved one who will listen to you, take your side, support you and then distract you from dark thoughts.

You can make another attempt to renew your previous relationship in order not to regret your indecision in the future. In this way, you will also reassure yourself that you should not feel sorry for the person who does not value your relationship and does not want to be with you. For yourself, you will draw the main conclusion: from now on you are not on the same path, and from this day on your lives will flow in parallel and only intersect when necessary.

How to survive the pain of separation? The desire of the person himself to get rid of his experiences is of great importance. Use these simple tips: go in for sports; communicate with friends; walk in nature more often; meet new people; change your image; travel; do home renovations; do not be alone for a long time; visit exhibitions, museums, theaters; enrich the menu with foods containing serotonin (eggs, fish, nuts, honey, raisins, chocolate, fruits, seafood, vegetables); go on holidays; master self-massage, art therapy, avoid sad thoughts, read positive literature, mentally let go of the situation and build a new life.

Stages of separation

If for some men a breakup passes without any particular consequences, for others it can cause serious stress and even psychological trauma. There are also cases when it is impossible to do without the help of a qualified psychologist. But no matter what, any man after the end of a romantic relationship goes through several stages:

• Negation. He refuses to believe that it's all over. "How could this happen? Why did she leave? After all, she was joking and will soon come to her senses? These are the thoughts that come to him; he believes that his beloved will remember all the good things that connected them and will give them the opportunity to return their former love.
• Anger. In some situations, an abandoned man experiences bouts of severe anger. He is literally furious because his chosen one exchanged him for another or simply left him with a scandal, accusing him of all mortal sins. He does not consider it shameful to discuss her among his friends, saying nasty things about her in an attempt to humiliate or damage her reputation. He consciously wants to hurt her, because he himself suffers from destroyed happiness.
• Hope. By periodically remembering the memorable events that accompanied the relationship with the woman he loves, a man can experience a new round of feelings and try to regain her affection. He may well offer to keep her friendship, in the hope of getting the opportunity to be closer to her and win her heart again.
• Depression. The usual life collapsed overnight. Just yesterday he rushed home, knowing that his beloved and only one was waiting for him there. But today, he understands that nothing awaits him there except hateful walls and silence. For some men, this can cause severe stress and depression. He simply does not understand what he should do next and how to start enjoying each new day again.
• New life. Even the most apathetic state cannot last indefinitely. One fine day the man realizes that this cannot continue. He understands that a decadent attitude is a path to nowhere and begins to look for positive advantages in his newfound freedom.

How to survive a divorce from your husband

Modern people do not lose faith in a happy marriage, but many couples, for a number of reasons, decide to divorce. A separate man and woman could live in marriage for a year, two, or even ten years, but suddenly one of the spouses demanded a divorce. It is often more difficult for a woman to go through this time, despite the fact that she herself could become the initiator. In the problem of how to survive a divorce from your husband, the advice of a psychologist will come in handy.

It is worth taking into account the reasons for divorce. Among the main ones are infidelity by one of the spouses, the so-called difference of interests, as well as domestic violence.

In fact, the above reasons have no place in the family; marriage is the consolidation of harmonious relationships by law. It is not surprising that, faced with betrayal from one side or another, spouses file for divorce. Most often, a man may not show what happened and, as they say, continue to live. Attention must be paid to the question of how a woman can survive a divorce, especially if there are feelings, children, or common property.

What to do if you still love

By nature, a woman is more sentimental than a man. If a marriage in which the wife was distinguished by fidelity and sincere love for her husband ends in divorce, the woman is going through a very difficult time for her. In modern society, it is recommended to consult a specialist and get help from a psychologist during a divorce. He will be able to convince the woman that divorce is a reason to start life from scratch.

It is more difficult for romantic people who are truly in love with their spouse. Such women will try to fight to save the marriage, giving the man freedom, which he will probably take advantage of. In any case, such a marriage will come to an end. Therefore, if a spouse asks a loving woman for a divorce, she should give in as quickly as possible so as not to torment either herself or her lover. In this situation, there is a chance to remain on friendly terms rather than completely burn bridges.

What to do if you have a child

You can’t take it out on a child

Another question is how to cope with divorce for a woman with a child. A lot depends on his age

If he is going through a transition period of approximately 10-15 years, it is very important to make every effort to ensure that the divorce does not leave an imprint on the child’s psyche. For the sake of the child, a woman must remain adequate, strong and kind

You cannot take out your anger and resentment on him because of your spouse. An interesting way out of the situation would be the so-called psychological divorce of a woman from her husband. It consists of separating, each living their own lives, but without filing for divorce. On the one hand, this leaves hope for reunification, on the other hand, it does not traumatize the child. Years later, when the boy or girl gets used to the fact that their parents will not live together, they can finally divorce.

Advice. You shouldn't maintain a strained relationship for the sake of your children. The psychology of a child is quite sensitive to what is happening around him. It is impossible to raise him in a tense atmosphere of unlove, resentment and anger, this will only harm him.

10 or more years of marriage

People get divorced after two weeks of marriage, and after 10-20 or more years. With this outcome, both parties need psychological help during a divorce, since they have acquired common property together, which will most likely be divided, and morally people could have become too accustomed to each other. The habit does not play into your hands, because every day spouses can begin and end with scandals, screams, and reproaches, which is inherently not normal.

Surviving this is more than possible. For example, you should remember those things that spouses forbade themselves to do while married and do it, be it music, a specific sport, or even caring for a pet when one of the spouses was allergic.

Divorce after 10 years of marriage is easy to survive

Emotional Consequences

If a man cannot cope with stress, namely, throw out negative emotions, then he can withdraw into himself and distance himself from his family and friends. It is generally accepted in society that any man is a priori emotionally stable and restrained.

It is worth remembering that keeping experiences to yourself is very dangerous, because negative feelings can, at a minimum, lead to emotional exhaustion, which in turn will cause various unpredictable consequences.

When emotions take precedence over reason and interfere with leading a full social life, this can lead to the following consequences:

• Drinking alcohol can be considered the most common way to forget. It is the urgent need to get rid of the pain that corrodes the soul that can cause the development of alcoholism.
• Solace in sports. It has long been no secret to anyone that intense physical activity leads to the production of the joy hormone - endorphin. Active production of this hormone helps reduce mental pain. This way of coping with negative emotions can be confidently called the most useful, but the main thing is to always remember that the load must correspond to the state of physical health.
• Extreme trials can be a consequence of emerging self-doubts. A man who has been abandoned begins to look for flaws in himself in the hope of getting rid of them, so as not to again face the possibility of breaking up the relationship. He is trying to understand what exactly caused the separation. Is he not successful or handsome enough? He can't satisfy his lover in bed? All these thoughts can cause a significant blow to self-esteem, and extreme situations will allow you to feel like the master of your life again.

How does a man behave after a breakup and why?

The way a man behaves after a breakup often confuses his ex-partner. Why does he continue to call after a breakup or, conversely, changes his number and avoids meeting? Why is he looking for dates after many years of separation? How to respond to his tearful sms and threats?

The women's website “Beautiful and Successful” tried to find comprehensive answers to all these questions.

How to find the strength not to think about a guy

At the moment of a breakup, it is difficult to find the strength to survive the event. It is not clear what to do if I still love him, because my emotions towards the man are alive, but he is not nearby. Try to abstract yourself, distract yourself with extraneous thoughts. There are many options for this - a new activity or hobby, moving, traveling.

It is important that the task completely absorbs all attention and, if possible, physically exhausts. This will give you time to experience the first emotions. After they subside, there will be strength to think about the situation, a rational approach

After they subside, you will have the strength to think about the situation and take a rational approach.

Often, when thinking and weighing the pros and cons of what happened, a woman comes to the conclusion that the decision made is correct. Such awareness occurs after 1-2 weeks, so after breaking up you will have to endure the short time needed for the psyche to rebuild and adapt to the new situation.

A man’s behavior after a breakup: some patterns

Psychologists say that every man behaves differently after a breakup, however, there are several behavioral cliches that are characteristic of many representatives of the stronger half. They depend on who initiated the break.

The girl most often puts an end to the relationship. And not a single man who has been told that he is no longer loved will be able to accept this news calmly.

Sometimes, after breaking up with a girl, a man begins to look for meetings with her, trying to persuade her to return, sometimes even threatening to commit suicide if she does not do this. Most likely, these threats are just a game, so psychologists advise not to pay attention to them. Unfortunately, a suicide with serious intentions never warns others about his desire to commit suicide.

Often a girl who has decided to break up with her partner is bombarded with SMS messages from him. If the decision to break up with your ex is firm, you just need to blacklist his number or change the SIM card.

You shouldn’t react to messages, otherwise the breakup will be even more painful for both him and the girl.

Contrary to popular female opinion, even strong-willed representatives of the stronger half with an iron character suffer greatly after the departure of their beloved girl. To numb the mental pain, they can do the following:

1. Go on a binge. This behavior is especially typical for the most vulnerable men who do not want to show their true feelings to other people and prefer to drown their grief with wine all alone. There have been cases when long drinking bouts over a breakup with a girl led to serious troubles in a man’s life. However, as a rule, after several days of drinking, the abandoned man begins to slowly come to his senses and return to normal life.
2. Immerse yourself in work. Often it is a break with the woman he loves that turns a man into a workaholic. He begins to devote 18 hours a day to work and does not even make casual connections, avoiding women. Immersion in work helps a man after a breakup not only to be distracted from thoughts about his ex-lover, but also to realize himself as a professional, thereby increasing his self-esteem.
3. Do extreme sports. Mountaineering, parachuting, hang gliding or even fighting without rules - the choice of a particular sport depends on the temperament and courage of the man himself.
4. Change sexual partners frequently. To prove to himself and his ex-girlfriend his own importance, a deserted man often turns into a real ladies' man, spending every night with a new partner.
5. Start a new relationship. According to statistics, more than 50% of men are not ready to create new unions immediately after a breakup. For about a year after breaking up with their partner, they remain independent. But there are also representatives of the stronger half who can survive the pain of losing their beloved woman only next to another caring partner.

Advice from psychologists to help you get over a breakup

First, try to understand the situation you are in and accept your feelings. Decide for yourself that you are not yet ready for a new relationship, you need to think it over and learn from what happened. This attitude will allow you to detach yourself from the feelings tormenting your soul and look at yourself from the outside. Listen to yourself and try to find harmony within. Of course, this will take time, don't rush. Just remember that everything passes. If the breakup caused very severe mental trauma, contact a specialist who will help you get through the difficult period.

But you can help yourself on your own. To do this, try to follow the recommendations of psychologists:

Don't give in to destructive emotions. It's not easy, but don't let it overwhelm you. Try to distract yourself and think about something positive. If you let depression take over your mind, it will be very difficult to get out of it. Spend time with loved ones and friends. They will help you unwind, talk it out, and support you in difficult times. Do what you like. It could be an old hobby or a new hobby. The main thing is that it brings pleasant emotions and can distract from negative reasoning. Take a closer look at your ex-partner. People often tend to overestimate their lovers, especially girls. The idealized image haunts you, but upon closer examination, qualities that you do not like may appear. This will help take your ex off the pedestal and forget you faster. Take care of yourself. Sport helps you get rid of negative emotions and will also make you more attractive, which will help improve your low self-esteem. Sign up for a massage or beauty treatment. This will improve your mood and your condition. Put a bold cross on the ended relationship. Free yourself from thoughts about a possible reunion, otherwise you will continue to live in a waiting mode. Love yourself. Realize that you are self-sufficient, only you are responsible for your happiness, and no one else. The breakup is especially difficult for those who expected harmony from this relationship, which is not present inside. Until you have self-love in your soul, others will not be able to fill this emptiness. Change your vision of relationships. Accept the lessons you have learned. Don't beat yourself up, but decide for the future what kind of relationship you want and what you expect from your partner. Improve yourself. This will give you self-confidence and also distract you from negative thoughts. Keep yourself busy with work or study. More activities, less time to suffer. But don’t overdo it—bringing yourself to exhaustion won’t lead to anything good.

Relationships between a man and a woman after a breakup

Statistics say that most men, after breaking up with a woman, continue to be interested in her life. They do this not out of idle curiosity, but rather because they are used to knowing everything about their partner. Interest in the fate of an ex can continue for many years, even after a man has a new, fairly prosperous relationship.

It also happens that having decided to break up, a man completely deletes all contacts of his former beloved and tries not to remember her at all. But even in such cases, there is no guarantee that he will never return to her. Time will pass, he will be able to understand himself and understand that he loves this woman more than anyone in the world.

Unlike men, women often have a good understanding of who their heart belongs to. It is precisely these representatives of the fair half who are concerned about the question of whether men return after breaking up and whether they have a chance to start the relationship from the beginning.

Psychologists answer unequivocally: yes, men often come back to their lovers. And if they do this, realizing that they love, the relationship can truly begin again.

Moreover, the new stage of the relationship will certainly be more successful than the previous one, since both partners already know all the pitfalls of the river called “life together.”

True, the joy of a man’s return can be overshadowed by one sad circumstance: it often happens too late. Therefore, a woman who understands that her partner is very dear to her needs to make some efforts to hurry him up with such an important decision.

What does it mean

It's normal and natural to feel terrible after a breakup. The chemical effect of love is similar to drug intoxication, and separation is similar to the withdrawal syndrome of an addict in the absence of a dose of a substance that usually provides a high level of dopamine. They say they experience approximately the same longing for cocaine after parting with it.

In a survey I conducted for my Telegram channel, 58% of people reported that they had lost a loved one one to five years ago, while 66% of respondents noted that they still felt pain.

Consider this an illness from which you need to recover (by the way, severe stress actually leads to a drop in immunity and increases the risk of contracting all sorts of viruses in addition to reactive depression).

Understanding that some of these heartbreaking feelings are not in the soul, but in the body, gives some relief and a sense of control. We can more or less control our body and make it experience a little less stress and get a little more pleasure.

There is no need to undermine the already unbalanced reward system with alcohol and drugs (at least, it is better to know the limits of drunken grief if you couldn’t resist). Help your dopamine. Of the useful entertainments, he most likes movement, knowledge and the fulfillment of small short-term goals. The reward system will reward you with a boost for making and following through on plans, whether it's cleaning the house, watching those long-postponed movies, trying to go for your first run in three years, or even clearing out the spam in your inbox until it's completely empty.