Today the best guy in the world, your love for life, announced that he is leaving you forever. And the world collapsed. And you were so happy, flying in the clouds, thinking about the crystal white wedding dress and the wedding ringing of bells under the golden domes.
What to do?! How to calm this unbearable pain in the heart? Is it possible to let everything take its course? Maybe give him a good thrashing? There's probably no need to do this. You can cry, scream, call him a complete bastard and an idiot. But take your time, baby, weigh everything well. Think about how to return the love of your former loved one? How to make your ex-boyfriend fall in love with you again?
Why do you want to get your husband back?
Time heals any wounds, including mental ones. Emotions subside, and the awareness of loss is painful? Love is alive, and the beat of the heart quickens when remembering the past, does the sound of his name make you shudder? Have you thought about whether and why it is necessary to return your ex-husband? Then sit down and analyze the meaning of your “I want”.
Women are different, and each pursues its own goal when a desire arises to return its husband. Someone thinks about how children will grow up without their own father. Someone wants their money back. Some people are afraid of being left alone in their later years. Someone wants to annoy their rival. The only thing worth thinking about seriously is the consequences of your desire.
How can you interest a guy during a date?
If your conversation on the phone went well, the young man will probably invite you on a date, for which it is important to prepare correctly and thoroughly so as not to lose the interest shown in your person:
- First, you need to think through your image to look stunning. Wear your favorite dress that makes you look irresistible. But keep in mind that if a guy prefers to wear jeans with T-shirts, then in an evening dress next to him you will look out of place.
- Talk about the same things you talk about on the phone. At least you can start a conversation with this, and then the conversation itself will be meaningful.
- Behave well-mannered and discreetly on a date. Think about what usually irritates you personally in people. Eliminate any irritating factors from your behavior.
Is it worth doing?
Of course, children need a father, but he does not have to be at home with the family all the time. Scandals that have become a system and occur in front of children will not bring anything good to children except a broken psyche. Isn't it better for the father to live separately and meet with the children? This will preserve peace and quiet in the house. Living together for the sake of children is pointless. The children will grow up, and you will be left with a baggage of accumulated grievances.
Annoy a woman whose husband has left her? If he left for one, then where is the guarantee that after returning to you he will not leave for another again? There is no certainty that a person will not rush between women throughout his life. Return for the sake of the money that the husband brought into the family? The money will run out sooner or later. Are you willing to endure humiliation for money? The husband is a living person and understands perfectly well that you are using him.
Fear of being alone for the rest of your life? There are many worthy men around. Take a closer look at yourself. There is a lot of good left in you, and your individuality undoubtedly sets you apart from others.
Long gone are the days when a woman with children was considered a burden for a man in the eyes of society. People meet, fall in love, and children do not play a decisive role in creating a new marriage.
The longing for your loved one is intense, no amount of money can replace his absence, children are like him, and your heart aches at this thought... Your man is still dear to you and you understand that no one can compare with him. Then it’s worth seriously thinking about how to return him to the family and continue the journey of life together.
Psychological trick
If a girl dreams of renewing her relationship and returning love, she needs to seek help from human psychology. The technique, which will be discussed further, is based on the following principle - a person wants what he cannot have.
This psychological mechanism comes from time immemorial, but its effectiveness has not yet been canceled.
Why does it work? The main reason that your ex-lover is in no hurry to return to you is very simple - you dream about him more than he wants this relationship. Otherwise, the decision to break up would be mutual, and you would not be tormented by the question of how to get your ex-boyfriend back.
Such a mechanism gives a multi-level effect:
- The guy can’t understand what has suddenly changed. Now you don’t dream about him and don’t want to return to your old relationship.
- He will definitely be interested in how you managed to cope with the negative emotions from the breakup so quickly (especially since he is probably still going through it).
- He will want to know if you have a new boyfriend, who he is, how happy you are to have met your next love.
- It is likely that he will have an instinct, an irresistible desire to return to the old relationship, pursuing you, because you have given up suffering and do not yearn for him.
- He is hurt by the completely changed situation, because he previously thought that you were lonely and unhappy, but he was not.
Of course, it is difficult to follow this method because you dream of getting it back. There is only one thought in my head - to write him an SMS in which I need to tell him about my feelings. But if you've already tried to get your old relationship back and it didn't work out, why not resort to this tactic.
What should you do? First of all, stop feeling sorry for yourself and be patient. After all, the psychological technique is quite simple, but there is hope that everything will work out.
So, if your boyfriend dumped you, but you don’t want to come to terms with this fact, you are constantly thinking about how to get your ex back, try the following:
- You need to write your ex-lover an email, a message on a social network, or an SMS.
- In the message, indicate that you realized everything, accepted the separation, and decided to continue to live fully and at full “power.”
- Try to convey an important thought in SMS - you are already happy. This needs to be formulated very briefly and interrupted at the most interesting point.
If you are a fan of serial films, you have probably noticed that every episode remains unsaid. That's why you're waiting for the next episode. Such understatement must be conveyed in the message.
The end of the letter may look like this: “I won’t distract you from your work, and I’m busy myself - getting ready for Saturday. If you want to chat, I’ll always be happy to exchange a few words.” In the message you hint that you are waiting for a meeting (possibly with a man). In addition, the unobtrusive “if you want to chat...” subconsciously stimulates him to action.
What is the success rate?
Do not think that the plan to return your spouse to the family will fail. There are many examples when men, after living with another woman for many years, returned to the bosom of their former family. The main thing is to believe in the success of the planned event. If you want, anything is possible, and you can make your husband fall in love with you again. Forget about your opponent as an obstacle. Your man knows you better than he knows her. No matter how much they say that men love with their eyes, this is not entirely true. They love warmth and mutual understanding.
Undoubtedly, they are attracted to young beauties, but their inner emptiness repels them. Your advantage and your strength are in yourself, because not only you remember the happy moments of your life together, but also your husband. You both experienced ups and downs, the birth of a child and troubles in everyday life. Don't forget another important point - body memory. Women are more susceptible to emotional outbursts, men act at the level of logical thinking, but their body is the leader.
The memory of your smell is stored in his subconscious, your habits in bed, which were pleasant to him. Probably, if this were not so, it is unlikely that you would have gotten married. There is always a chance to return, and if the desire is supported by actions, success is one hundred percent guaranteed.
How does divorce affect men?
Men are different, and it all depends on the reasons why the divorce occurred. Was the woman a stumbling block? The man is probably happy to end his relationship with you and start a new one. The fact is that novelty of sensations attracts men. In most cases, they want to breathe in the air of freedom deeply and try their luck on the side. The feeling of freedom that does not leave him on the eve of a divorce is intoxicating, and he imagines how he will calmly go fishing, meet with friends, and court free girls.
In fact, at first everything turns out exactly as he imagined. However, the euphoria of freedom wears off after a couple of months, and the question arises: what next?
I hung out with friends, went fishing, met girls. As a result, the feeling of loneliness makes you regret what you have done.
They begin to overcome everyday difficulties: ironing, washing clothes, preparing dinner, cleaning. His ex-wife did all this, and now he has to cope alone. Thoughts about why the wife was offended when she was not helped with household chores are confirmed. He gets bored and more and more often remembers his ex-wife and children, and begins to understand that everything was not so bad in reality.
The husband got married and realized that the new marriage had not changed anything in his life for the better. The first wife is close and dear, because from a young age we have experienced a lot together. The second wife is not entirely understandable, we have to get used to it and adapt again. All this causes certain difficulties and difficulties that are not so easy to cope with.
How to interest a guy in a telephone conversation?
It is much more difficult to interest a guy over the phone, because the interlocutor cannot see beautiful eyes and a beautiful smile. But, having a good imagination, you can easily and simply win over your interlocutor. What in this case will be the girl’s main weapon:
- Adjust your voice timbre and intonation to the guy you are talking to on the phone.
- Speak measuredly so that the young man does not need to ask again. Some guys are embarrassed to ask again what they haven’t heard.
- Find a topic of conversation that is interesting for a man. During a conversation about a man's hobbies, you can ask many questions that are interesting to you. If you have already had one conversation on the phone, then during a new conversation, “look into the past” - remember what he told you that you can talk about again. The guy will understand that last time you listened to him carefully, which means that you are interested in him as a person.
In other words, when talking on the phone you need to show your attentiveness in order to be an interesting interlocutor.
Advice from a psychologist on returning your ex-husband to the family
You have decided to take steps to return your husband, and your confidence is unshakable. Then you should outline an action plan and begin to implement it. Experienced psychologists give the following advice:
- Establish a friendly relationship with your ex-husband. Invite him to a party with mutual friends or ask for help. For example, hanging a picture in a room or replacing a faucet.
- If the spouse does not reject the proposal, try not to ruin everything with a bad mood, an unkempt appearance, grumbling and requests to come back. There is no need to beg and make scenes with a stream of tears. Calm down, behavioral tactics imply calm and restraint, detachment from the situation. Get yourself in order, smile and not a word about getting back into the relationship. Act as if you are old friends or good acquaintances who have nothing to share. If you do everything right, your ex-husband will pay attention to you and perhaps give you a compliment.
- Talk to him about casual topics, see his reaction. If the emotions have subsided, ask if he is bored. You can’t let your heart-to-heart talk turn into a new scandal and showdown. Maybe he himself has long dreamed of returning and is embarrassed to say so.
- All men are owners. Interest in his wife will increase if the husband sees her with some gentleman. It is important to create an image of a woman attractive to men. Take a photo with a work colleague who is unfamiliar to him, put the photo on a table in the kitchen or in a room where your spouse might enter. If there is no real fan, then buy yourself flowers and put them in a visible place. The result will not be long in coming. Your ex-spouse will start calling and asking who you are dating.
Magic in action
Love spell
There are many girls who are ready to do anything to get their loved one back. Even magic is used. Do you believe in this? No matter what your answer is, it is important that you do not resort to the help of “sorcerers” under any circumstances. The love spell they can offer you is nothing more than zombieing.
Moreover, any activity related to black magic can have a very bad impact on you and your life after some time. Therefore, no matter how tempting it may be to return your former love in just one session of magic, there is no need to do this.
If you are destined to be with a specific person, you will be with him. Maybe not now, but after some time.
Source: glamius.ru
How to get your ex-spouse back if he already lives with someone else?
You should act depending on the current situation. If your ex-husband met a woman after some time had passed after the divorce, she is not to blame for your separation. Leave them alone, mentally wish them well and step aside. A number of questions simply arise: where were you all this time after the divorce and before his remarriage? Think about the fact that a person decided to marry a second time after an unsuccessful marriage with you. This means that this is not an easy step for him, and it is unlikely that it will be possible to glue everything together in a new way.
Another question is when the marriage broke up due to the fault of another woman. Here it’s worth thinking about whether this is a serious relationship or a momentary infatuation that will pass over time. If you feel that this is just a slight misunderstanding, then go ahead.
Wait a moment. Calm down yourself and give him the opportunity to calm down. Most likely, the spouse himself will understand that relationships that have been established over the years (which can be adjusted) are more valuable than new ones.
Think also about what caused him to leave. Maybe your rudeness and constant reproaches against him forced him to look for a new hobby on the side, an outlet from his boring marriage with you. A man will never leave a place where he is valued and feels needed. Maybe this is an escape from your eternal nitpicking over trifles and unbridled aggression?
Many psychologists advise not to hold on to a person, but to give him the opportunity to assess the situation himself. Let him try to live on his own or with another woman, compare his past life and his present, weigh the pros and cons. Continue your life's journey without him. It happens that divorce occurs to the benefit of both. Many women find their true calling and meet new love. After a divorce, life does not stop and everything happens only for the better. Remember this.
Action plan
Return Action Plan
To get your ex-boyfriend back, you need to follow these tips:
- Improve your appearance and more. Your loved one should see you as irresistible and beautiful. You can do a new hairstyle, change your hair color (men love it when women change), try beautiful but unusual makeup, dress nicely. When a man sees you like this, he will realize that he has lost a lot and may want to get it all back.
- Rendezvous course
You need to get closer to your loved one. Of course, this does not mean spying on him and lying in wait under the windows of the house. Try to meet by chance, for example, at a mutual friend’s birthday. In general, you should become a part of his life again.
- Be cheerful and full of vitality. This will be beneficial not only for your relationship, but also for yourself. Your ex should see that you are absolutely not worried about his departure, but live to the fullest, enjoying every day. This will definitely become interesting for him and will greatly hurt his pride.
- Causing jealousy
You can even stimulate his jealousy a little with the help of cute friends. Just don’t go too far, otherwise your loved one will decide that he doesn’t need such a frivolous girl. A little flirting is the most you can give when communicating with other young people. This technique will pique your boyfriend’s interest and make him understand that you are an interesting girl who other men really like.
- Try to communicate with him as much as possible. Let it be only in a friendly way. At first you can talk not often, but more and more tying him to you. You should not talk about your relationship and his departure. This can only scare him away.
Remember: you should never go back to where you started. Move forward, despite past unpleasant experiences. When you manage to establish normal communication, you can consider that your first victory has been achieved. Now unobtrusively show your loved one that you still care about him. Take some action to get closer, but under no circumstances push. Such behavior, on the contrary, will push him away.
