People cannot have the same view of things all the time, so quarrels are a natural element of any relationship between a guy and a girl. However, if you want your relationship to continue and develop further, you should try to bring back joy and love, and not try to outsmart the girl, make her look stupid or be hostile towards her. You should know how to make peace with a girl.
How you deal with difficulties that arise is very important because it is moments like these that show whether you and your girlfriend will become closer to each other, or whether the misunderstanding between you will grow.
How to make peace with a girl after a breakup
You can make peace with a girl after a breakup if you give time for passion and emotions to subside. The main condition is mutual feelings between partners, as well as the absence of any unforgivable actions and mistakes, for example, betrayal. But before taking active action, a man needs to find the root of the problem, analyze all the words that were spoken in the quarrel.
The main way to resolve a conflict is an honest, calm and frank conversation. A good way to clarify all the problems after a strong quarrel with a girl is to write all the problems and complaints on a piece of paper. Next, each point will need to be discussed, promising each other to do everything possible to satisfy the desires of both. If she doesn’t want to communicate, you can organize an original and romantic date, give her flowers, or do any actions that prove the man’s feelings.
How to beautifully ask for forgiveness after a strong quarrel
There are many ways that couples try to make peace after a fight. For some, it’s a quick apology and an attempt to “freeze the situation,” for others, it’s active sex and other methods. Most likely, after a quarrel, you will have to sincerely and honestly talk to each other. This is the most beautiful and “adult” way to resolve the situation.
To ensure a constructive conversation, consider the following:
- always plan your actions. You and only you know exactly which arguments work best on your partner;
- remember that you should not consult with friends or relatives on this issue, or even more so, publish the problem on social networks. This will intensify the crisis and will have a disastrous result;
- Please note that each of you needs to be given time to cool down before you begin to make up.
Did you know? Experiencing negative emotions such as fear and anger is important for mental health and helps us evaluate life situations and experiences in a positive way. Anyone who experiences only positive emotions risks becoming complacent and ignoring the issues that really matter.
Getting ready to return the relationship
Establishing relationships after a breakup is much more difficult, since there is a distance between partners that moves them away from each other. Psychologists name several main points, thanks to which you can radically change the situation, and ultimately return your ex-girlfriend and your relationship with her to the right direction. A man is required to follow all recommendations step by step and be ready for actions, words and deeds.
Analyze the situation
In the event that she does not want to talk after another quarrel or even a breakup, the man first needs to calm down, put his thought process and emotional state in order, and only after that analyze everything that happens between the partners. You need to ask yourself whether a man needs to return this relationship at all, why he needs a girl. Only sincere feelings, and not fear of condemnation or loneliness, should be the driving motive.
Find the reason for the breakup
There are many reasons why a girl chooses to end a relationship, such as if the man hit the girl, cheated on her, was rude or cheated. You can reveal the grievances and disappointments of your chosen one during a quarrel and showdown, or you can talk frankly with her, wanting to know your guilt. If a man is ready to change, eradicating such offenses in the future, there is a chance for the relationship to return.
Get ready for the meeting
You always need to act, even if she doesn’t want a relationship after a quarrel and breakup. A man will need to collect his thoughts, think through his speech, and also plan the possibility of meeting his beloved. The success of the dialogue also depends on the man’s external attractiveness and poise, self-confidence and competent speech. You need to express all your thoughts correctly; you can practice in front of a mirror in advance. When meeting, you need to speak briefly and clearly, allowing the girl to also speak out.
Do you often have to put up with girls?
Not really
Make contact
A breakup with the girl you love is possible; the man had a fight and greatly offended her. In this case, you need to find opportunities to establish contacts. You can visit the girl in a place where she often visits, for example, at school or work. To immediately put a girl in a positive direction, a man needs to present a small gift, for example, a bouquet of flowers, sweets, etc. To win her heart, you need to remember what character traits the man was able to hook her with, and then use them again.
Find the right words
Reconciling with an ex-girlfriend requires not only awareness of the problem, meeting and presenting a gift, but also competent and correctly composed speech. Girls love with their ears, so you need to choose sincere words in advance for her return. The main thing is that everything said is sincere from the heart, since girls are very sensitive and insightful, notes of falsehood and ingratiation will be recognized immediately.
Be sincere
The main key to success in trying to regain a relationship is the man’s sincerity, as well as competent speech. All words spoken should exude confidence and clarity of position, but at the same time be from the heart and soul. The key to reconciliation is communication. To win her over, you can say compliments, emphasizing her external attractiveness. It is better to start the conversation with an apology, admitting your mistakes and guarantees that this will not happen again.
Basic recommendations
Don't chase forgiveness
If you really offended her or broke your promise, then there is nothing wrong with asking for forgiveness.
However, no matter what happens, begging a girl to forgive you is the worst thing you can do after a quarrel.
Right now, your girlfriend is feeling angry, upset, and hurt and may not even want to see you.
If you show emotional weakness through your behavior, the girl will begin to lose respect for you, because in this way you are telling her that you lack the inner strength and maturity of a real man.
In most cases, the main reason why a girl decides to end a relationship is because she has lost respect for her boyfriend. She ceases to consider the young man a man worthy of her.
Therefore, your words and actions after a quarrel are very important. Either your attractiveness, respect and love for you will increase, or all these feelings will rapidly lose weight.
When you apologize to your girlfriend, do it in a way that is loving and sincere while remaining emotionally strong.
For example, instead of saying, “I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! I will do whatever you want and I promise to never do that again!” which will make you look like an emotionally weak person and will cause a loss of respect for you as a man, you can say: “I’m sorry it turned out that way.” . I realize that I was wrong. Next time I won’t do this, so this situation won’t happen again.”
This approach will allow her to feel understanding on your part and will show that you are a person who can take responsibility for your actions and also not repeat mistakes in the future. As a result, respect and love for you will grow.
Stand up for your interests
A big mistake that men make in relationships with women is to follow her lead in order to avoid a quarrel or scandal.
If a guy doesn't understand what women really want, he may be convinced that making a girl happy means giving her everything she wants. Indulging women's whims leads to even greater problems.
Any woman will try to take a dominant position in a relationship, but if a man gives in, she herself will subsequently suffer from having a henpecked man and a doormat next to her.
In essence, a woman’s goal is not to become the main one in a relationship. This is something like a test for a man, a way to check his higher status, carried out on a systematic basis.
Women need confidence that their man will always follow the goals and values in which he truly believes, even if such a position is at odds with women's interests.
When a man is able to defend his opinion, make decisions and bear responsibility, including for his woman, she, in turn, will be confident that he is able to cope with the challenges of fate that life can bring down on him.
Well, if a man always agrees with a woman, what is he even capable of in this case? Will he be able to emerge victorious from a difficult situation, for example at work or in another case that arises in a social environment, or will he simply remain silent and accept the position of a victim?
How confident will a woman feel next to this man at family parties or among friends? Will a man speak confidently when an awkward situation arises, or will he turn his gaze to the woman, expecting her to sort it out?
Again, it all comes down to one thing: can a woman respect him as her man.
So, if you had a fight with your friend and you're really worried about how to make up with her, you still shouldn't use the words she wants to hear just to resolve the conflict in any way.
You can still solve the problem without betraying your goals and values.
For example: a guy, with the goal of promotion, decided to improve his qualifications and went to study. Studying can take up a lot of free time, as a result of which a girl can feel forgotten and lonely, which can cause conflict.
But it will be better if the guy tells the girl: “I understand that your condition is directly related to my work and study. But I can't quit studying because it's important to me. Moreover, learning will provide a better future for both of us. However, I care about you and it is also important to me that you are happy. Therefore, I will definitely devote the free time that I have at my disposal to you. It will mean a lot to me if you support me with understanding on your part, because I am doing this for both of us.”
The girl will appreciate that even if you try to quarrel, in order to test your will and determination, you do not fall on your knees in front of her and are not ready to kiss all parts of her body in order to please.
Instead, you're focused on creating a better future for yourself and your girlfriend, while also giving her even more free time.
Your inner core makes her respect and love you, because she is sure that she is next to a real man. And if she loses you, she probably won't be able to find a worthy replacement.
You may not know this, but it is very difficult for women to find such a person.
Women often say: “Where are all the real men?” And they complain that guys are too weak, passive and weak-willed when it comes to relationships.
When you can become a man with a capital “M,” your girlfriend will understand that other women notice your value. This is often a strong enough motivation for a woman to have a sincere desire to be a wonderful companion to her man throughout his life.
Of course, you should continue to treat your girlfriend as well and also make sure that she respects you and treats you in the same way.
Look at the situation from your girlfriend's perspective
Let's say you and your girlfriend had an argument over some minor reason (for example, you forgot to call her). In your opinion, the event is completely trivial.
However, if you put yourself in the girl's shoes and look at the situation from a different angle, you may find that she is not angry at you about the phone call, but is acting this way because she feels like you have been treating her lately for granted.
Thus, the desire to quarrel is a result of her feeling unloved and unappreciated, and she does not know how to express her feelings differently.
The girl doesn’t want to lead you by the hand and constantly explain everything. Women believe that men should be more mature and give them enough attention.
When you know the reason for her unusual behavior, you have the opportunity to express understanding - for example, tell her: “I understand that perhaps I have not been attentive enough to you lately. But I want you to know that I love you and appreciate what you do for me, and I will do everything in my power to make you feel good.”
When a woman knows that you consider her feelings and don't just take her for granted, she will be happy to let go of her anger. The girl will feel loved and desired and will be imbued with respect and love for you.
Turn the situation into a positive direction
Quarrels are a natural part of any relationship. If you and your girlfriend treat each other with respect and haven't said or done anything hurtful or demeaning, then there's no reason why negative feelings should remain after a fight.
Holding a grudge is a sign that you and your girlfriend have not fully dealt with the issues that caused the fight. Remove all negativity between you and let love flow freely.
Always try to bring laughter, joy and love back into the relationship. Once you get used to it, you will both feel much more in love with each other.
However, don't expect the girl to be responsible for this. As a man, you are responsible for managing the dynamics of the relationship.
If you push the relationship towards quarrels and scandals, the girl will almost always follow your initiatives until the relationship falls apart.
On the other hand, when you create joy and love through your actions, your girlfriend will gradually begin to copy your positive behavior and attitude.
So, if you are wondering how to make peace with a girl, you should understand why the argument arose and then try to lead the confrontation to a solution or understanding.
Then just start joking, smiling, laughing and being positive, and then the anger will leave both of you.
Of course, if you feel manipulation on the part of a girl, or there is a specific problem behind her, you need to act calmly, but firmly. No woman dares to raise her voice at you, address you with obscene language, or make a fool of you.
Change your attitude towards quarrels
Most people believe that quarrels are extremely harmful, but it is better to look at this phenomenon as an opportunity to increase love, respect and attraction in a couple.
To maintain a successful relationship, you and your girlfriend should try to make each other happy no matter what.
So instead of worrying about how to make peace with a girl, just show her that you are a person you can rely on, that you are a man.
When she sees that you are the main one in the relationship, while remaining loving and respectful of her feelings and opinions, your feelings will only become stronger over time.
You will be able to feel joy after an argument because you know there is no reason to worry. A fight will be another opportunity for you to learn, improve, and become better for each other.
If he doesn’t want to talk, what should he write by SMS?
If a girl flatly refuses meetings and even conversations, a man does not need to give up and remain decisive. Perhaps he offended her so much that, under the influence of resentment, she refuses to make contact despite her feelings. The easiest way to establish contact is via SMS, showing the girl that the man realizes he is wrong and is ready to apologize. This may be a banal phrase: “Please forgive me, I was wrong.”
If a man wants to make peace with a girl via SMS, but she has changed her phone number or blocked his contacts, you can use social networks. You can write on VK, sending the girl a postcard admitting guilt, poetry of your own composition, prose, and attaching music that is associated with dating and spending time together.
Expert opinion
Elena Druzhnikova
Sexologist. Family relations expert. Family psychologist.
In fact, reconciliation through correspondence on the Internet and SMS is practiced by men much more often than real meetings, face-to-face conversations, and actions. This is explained by the fact that on the Internet or messages you don’t need to think about how to behave with a girl. In fact, virtual communication is an ineffective way of reconciliation; it does not convey the emotions, feelings and mood of the interlocutors.
Original ways of reconciliation
If the girl is too offended, then making peace through conversation is a good idea, but you should start it with something unusual that will make the girl smile and remember that not everything between you is so bad.
Give a bouquet or card
Buy an original bouquet for her. It can be unusual: in the shape of a heart or a bear. Add an original postcard to it - it will surprise and evoke positive emotions. Sometimes just a short and sweet message can do wonders. Such a beginning sets you up for a positive wave together.
Make a pleasant surprise
Anything can be an original surprise: a flash mob, a painting in the snow or on the wall of a house, opposite its windows. It's great if you have some special talents or can attract friends with such talents.
Give jewelry or accessories
Giving jewelry as a gift is a very simple, but insincere way. But you can give her something that she has long dreamed of. An original and noteworthy gift could be:
- custom-made jewelry with engraving that is clear to both of you;
- handmade decoration.
Did you know? Laughter really rubs off on the other person. This happens because your brain immediately prepares your facial muscles for a smile as soon as your hearing detects laughter.
Write a beautiful SMS
If the quarrel is not too serious, send the original SMS. But it’s much better to send a small bouquet of flowers, each of which will have an unusual note attached asking for forgiveness, with an awareness of guilt, poetry or something funny and sweet.
What to gift?
After reconciliation, you need to do something nice for the girl! A gift is a good way to consolidate the effectiveness of a frank conversation and meeting if young people break up after a quarrel or serious misconduct. You can give a girl something inexpensive but pleasant, with the expectation that she may refuse to accept the gift out of resentment and pride. For example:
- a bouquet of flowers or indoor flowers;
- any sweets, be it chocolate, a box of chocolates, desserts;
- a figurine or souvenir in a suitable theme;
- ticket to the theatre, concert, cinema or museum;
- jewelry with engraving or photo, for example, a bracelet, pendant.
If a man is sure that the girl is ready to make contact and reconciliation, and the gift will not be rejected, he can give an expensive piece of jewelry that more than one representative of the fair sex will not resist. Also, a great opportunity for reconciliation would be to purchase a ticket for a joint trip or resort.
How to act to make peace if the girl is to blame
If a girl is to blame, but doesn’t understand it, just try to calm down and explain to her what the problem is. Think through the conversation and your arguments in it. Try to speak as objectively as possible and be convincing. If a girl is guilty and knows about it, then perhaps she feels awkward. Give both of you time to calm down. And let her know that, no matter what, you love her. And then discuss the situation in a positive way.
What to do if your girlfriend forgives you?
If a girl has forgiven a man after a quarrel, breakup, after betrayal or other wrongdoing, the man should be grateful to her for the second chance. Many people relax after this, believing that the relationship has already returned to its previous stage and is not in danger. In fact, such an opportunity is given to a man so that he can show in every possible way his changes for the better and again win the trust of his beloved.
Don't repeat the mistakes
If a man knows about his misdeeds, repeating them a second time means failing to draw conclusions and losing the relationship completely. Even if she is to blame for the quarrel, it is extremely important for a man to show the girl the fact that there will be no more negative moments in the relationship.
Change your relationships for the better
In order for a relationship to develop, you need to bring only good changes into it. You can find new mutual interests and hobbies that strengthen the bond between partners. It will also be useful to visit a family psychologist who will help you overcome obstacles and problems, forget about previous grievances and misdeeds. Joint walks and trips to the cinema, theater, museum and other cultural institutions will help you find many new points of contact.
Care and attention
Not a single girl can resist male attention and care. If she has difficulties and difficulties, it is important for a man to show participation, support and help. Signs of attention should be not only on occasion, but also in everyday life, this could be a cooked breakfast, gifts of flowers, any help in everyday life, compliments and words of praise.
Give compliments from the heart
All girls, without exception, love with their ears, so it is extremely important for a man to show attention to his beloved with compliments and praise. Women pay a lot of attention to their appearance, expecting encouragement from men. You can praise the choice of outfit, makeup and new hairstyle, or you can note a deliciously prepared dinner or good qualities in the character of your chosen one. The main thing is that the words come from the heart and not be banal flattery.
Always tell the truth
Deception is practically the same as betrayal and treason; it is with this seriousness that women take lies and lies from a loved one. Therefore, you should not lie even in some minor details, otherwise trust will be completely lost.
How not to behave after a quarrel with your girlfriend
First of all, don't try to trick her into feeling stupid or intimidating her with aggression. Build your conversation on sympathy, smile and love. Don't humiliate, blame or insult each other. Don't raise your voice.
You will be interested to know how to make peace with your wife after cheating or a quarrel.
If you are too nervous right now, try to calm down before starting a conversation. How you handle arguments and disagreements is very important. Because what you say and do after a fight will either bring you and your girlfriend closer or drive you apart.
Breaking up Men Psychology of relationships Breaking up with a girl
How to give a bouquet as a sign of reconciliation?
Giving flowers to a person with whom you want to establish a relationship is mentally difficult. It is difficult to find words for reconciliation, and to simply take the first step. So you may not decide at all. Therefore, sometimes it is better to send flowers by address delivery. Many flower shops offer similar services. But it’s still better to apologize in person. You need to hand over the bouquet after a short speech with your left hand (from the heart). With your right hand you can hold the hand of your interlocutor to establish physical contact, which brings you closer together spiritually. Having given flowers, there is no need to focus attention on them (ask if you liked the bouquet, etc.). In this way, you can put your interlocutor in an awkward position by allegedly hinting at a return gift. The recipient will clearly appreciate the bouquet even without reminders.
WHAT RULES SHOULD BE FOLLOWED
As soon as you yourself admit that you did not behave in the best way and want to atone for your guilt, you must treat the choice of a bouquet responsibly, as an important matter.
- Try to present exactly the flowers that the person you are apologizing to loves.
- It is advisable to attach a note or card with words of apology to the bouquet. The content is at your discretion, the main thing is that it is clearly indicated: you regret your offensive words spoken in the heat of the moment, or not the most worthy deed, and sincerely ask to forgive you.
- Present the bouquet in a suitable setting (preferably, without prying eyes, and at a good time).
- If it is psychologically difficult for you to personally present a bouquet, order courier delivery.
Is reconciliation possible?
There are couples who quarrel, make up, break up and get back together. For them, quarrels and reconciliations are part of the relationship itself. Here we will not evaluate whether this is good or bad. But in such a situation, there is every chance of making peace if it was one of the ordinary quarrels.
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There are couples in which everything is calm, there are almost no conflicts, then separation can be caused by serious problems: betrayal, new love, strong resentment.
Before developing a reconciliation plan, you need to decide for yourself whether it is worth returning the girl. What caused your desire to make peace: love and the desire to be close or fear of loneliness and habit?
If you really love a girl and want to be with her, then do everything possible to rekindle the relationship. If it’s just a habit or you don’t care who you date, you shouldn’t get your former flame back. Let her find her happiness, because you really don’t really need her. And you just need to understand yourself before building a new relationship.
For reconciliation to be possible, both partners must want the relationship to continue. Yes, it may be difficult to realize the desire to be together at the time of a quarrel, but when the emotions subside, feelings and readiness for change should remain inside.
If the reason for the breakup was cheating, you hit the girl, insulted her, or one of you has a new love, resuming the relationship may be impossible.
You must reflect on the situation to realize:
- Reasons for what happened.
- Do you have a desire to make peace?
- Are you willing to change to prevent this type of behavior in the future?
If the reason for the separation was serious, then this greatly alienated you from each other. Often in such cases, making peace is more difficult than simply starting a new relationship.
When there is only a desire to return to the same relationship, without the willingness to admit your mistakes and change, this is a dead-end path that, one way or another, will lead to the end of the relationship.
