When you feel that your life is becoming very boring, then you should do everything possible to spice up your life. Perhaps your career is holding you back with constant obstacles and chronic stress. You may also be tired of the home environment. You should try to find something that you are passionate about. This will help you refresh your mind and find a way to bring the best into your life. Additionally, if you want to get back in touch with your passions, you must get rid of the negative habits, feelings and emotions that make you feel sick and tired of everything in your life. Here are some tips on how to break your boring life and be happier.
The target is too big
If you strive to achieve an overly difficult goal that you cannot yet achieve, you will sooner or later be disappointed. Its implementation will repel, frighten and oppress you.
Always set challenging but realistic goals. Simplify what has started to scare you and what you can’t do. Start with something small. When you complete a small task, raise the bar higher. This way you'll get to a really big goal without losing interest.
What causes you to be considered boring?
The most obvious, but completely wrong answer is to be ordinary, not be able to do anything special, not have a million interesting stories in stock and not be an expert in books/movies and other content for discussion.
However, almost all people are just as ordinary, and yet they are very interested in other ordinary people.
And the feeling of boring, painful, forced-formal communication arises due to completely different moments:
- A boring person complains and whines a lot and constantly - about personal bad luck, about other people, about culture, politics, economics, etc. Everything is bad for him.
- He constantly condemns other people's activities and projects, praising only his own.
- A boring person always speaks in all seriousness - there is no irony, sarcasm, or jokes in his arsenal.
- He does not know how to chat about something unimportant, constantly trying to talk in detail about “fundamental” topics.
- He expresses only very banal judgments, and with hackneyed phrases and hackneyed quotes. As a rule, his reactions are very predictable for everyone around him.
- He is afraid of seeming stupid and therefore never ironizes himself, does not chat about all sorts of trifles that come to mind, does not laugh at humor, which he considers not “high enough,” etc.
- He unwittingly forces his interlocutors to entertain themselves and “create an atmosphere.” And he himself never gives everyone an interesting topic of conversation.
Have you noticed anything from this list? But those around you notice this too...
Is it just you or the company that calls you a boring person?
You are chasing many goals at once
In order to maintain a keen interest and passion for your business or hobby, realize your goals one by one. After all, if you try to do everything at once, you will quickly begin to feel tired, physically and psychologically.
In this state, will you be able to enjoy life and fulfill your goals in your plan? No, the process will be slow and cumbersome.
Break down each goal into small, achievable tasks. This will give you more strength to work in one direction at a fast pace. Thanks to focus, you will quickly “conquer” one goal and move on to another.
There is success, there is no holiday
If your life is work, work, and more work, life will become extremely boring. Even if you do what you love, you still need to celebrate all your successes, otherwise you will simply stop noticing them. There's no point in having a goal if you don't celebrate achieving it and remind yourself what it means to you.
For example, take a time out and celebrate the transition to a new stage in your activity. Or pat yourself on the back for a job well done. This will increase your self-confidence, add a couple of points to your self-esteem and will motivate you to go further and look for more difficult tasks.
No changes or development for a long time
Over time, everyone grows and develops. What once seemed interesting becomes less enjoyable and exciting. You grow, needs and views change. You can't keep doing the same things over and over again. They will not always bring pleasure.
Always try something new, make changes to existing processes in your work or hobby. For example, take up a new sport. Meet new people and make new friends. Develop an interest in new genres of literature, try watching unfamiliar films or listening to music from someone else’s playlist. Develop new skills, do things that develop your imagination and help you create something new.
Winston Churchill's advice on how to get rid of the boredom of adulthood
Very often, growing up becomes synonymous with boring, monotonous work, which leaves no time for interests and hobbies. The result of such an “exchange” is predictable, but very sad: boredom, constant fatigue, anxiety and depression.
Unfortunately, many adults do not understand the real reasons for their depression and anxiety. They believe that fatigue comes from a large number of activities and try to focus on one activity, dismissing all others.
Using the example of Winston Churchill, his life credo and advice, you can see that it’s not about the quantity of activities, but about their quality: more interesting work, responsibilities that satisfy you, and opportunities to create something.
And now more about what the great prime minister advised and how he diversified his life.
Winston Churchill (1874–1965)
Politician, consummate orator, Prime Minister of Great Britain from 1940 to 1945, journalist, writer and Nobel Prize laureate in literature. Named "the greatest Briton in history" in a 2002 BBC poll.
Work like a slave: take action and find your calling
Find a job that brings you pleasure (find it without searching)
Churchill divided the "sane, industrious and useful" part of the population into two parts:
...the first, for which work is work and pleasure is pleasure; and the second, for which work and pleasure are one and the same. Most people belong to the first group and receive their compensation. Long hours in an office or factory are rewarded with a livelihood and the desire for various pleasures, which often take very simple and modest forms.
But Fortune's favorites are people from the second group. Their lives pass in natural harmony, they never have enough set hours to work. Every day is a holiday for them, and ordinary holidays, on which they cannot work, are perceived as an annoying obstacle that prevents them from returning to their calling.
Now young people simply hate being in the first group and are eager to join the ranks of the second. But so far, all the advice on how to do this - look around and find your passion before choosing a profession or life's work - is just empty talk.
It is much better to look for your calling, completely surrendering to some passion. It’s not a fact that it will turn out to be your calling, but this way you will more accurately find the path to it. This is what happened with Churchill.
He developed a deep love of the English language and reading from an early age, which foreshadowed his career as a writer. But other areas did not come so easily to him - he had to try hard to keep up in other subjects at school, and instead of attending university, he attended a military academy.
His career as a writer did not begin at an early age, but all because of the real passion of his life - war. Churchill wanted to get to the front in any military conflict, and when he was not allowed to participate in battles as a military man, he got a job as a newspaper correspondent in order to still get into the arena of military operations.
When the public liked his reports about what was happening, Churchill decided to write a book about his campaigns. And already in the process, he realized that the work of a writer brings him much more pleasure than a military career. This is how he found his calling.
That is, Churchill did not sit at home, endlessly reflecting and searching for his calling. He did what captivated him and brought him pleasure, and through this he found his true calling, and he was not alone.
Many people have found their life's work simply by trying what interests them at the moment.
There is another cool way to find your calling, thanks to which Churchill found the second passion of his life - politics.
Instead of going inward, wondering what to do, he turned his attention to the problems that existed around him. At that moment, the problem was the lack of a sufficient number of honest politicians with imagination. And he solved this problem by joining the ranks of politicians with his own person.
Finding current problems helps you start your own business. You find a problem and offer people a solution.
And more often than not, you begin to enjoy it not at the very beginning of your career or the path you have chosen, but already in the process of development.
The world belongs to those who act
When work really grabs you, you don't notice how hours of hard work pass. And that's great, because without many, many hours of work, you will never achieve your goals.
In any field you can find these “gurus” who promise you quick results in the shortest possible time. But all their tricks and methods will never lead you to anything worthwhile. Yes, you can make some money using hacks, but it takes more than a few hours a week to create something reliable, functional (and legal). This requires constant and hard work.
If you decide to create something worthwhile, be it your personal project or a career in some company, from time to time you will have to experience the feeling that you are incredibly tired, but cannot finish it, because it is your project and you are interested in doing it. If you don't have such moments, you are doing something wrong.
Whatever field you choose, primacy in it will always belong to the one who constantly acts, works and worries.
Even a job you love still feels like work
There may be an opinion that if you love your job, then it is perceived as fun and you spend every day fun and easy. If sometimes this is not the case, then you simply chose the wrong job. This opinion is fundamentally wrong.
Even if you get a lot of pleasure from your work, it does not begin to be perceived as constant entertainment.
Churchill always separated work and play, considering them two very different things. A job you love is still a job, and that means you don't jump out of bed every day with joyful anticipation.
And this is normal, because pleasure and satisfaction are found not only in games and fun, but also in challenging one’s abilities and overcoming difficulties.
Sometimes you even want to quit your favorite job
The fact that you love your job doesn't mean you'll never have the thought "screw it all," and it doesn't mean you don't sometimes want to quit and try something else.
Sometimes the task of writing something was not so easy for Churchill; on the contrary, it was unbearably difficult. When he had his own column, Churchill used to get into a terrible mood and show bad character traits, and when deadlines were pressing, the stress became simply unbearable.
The more your job suits you, the less often you experience these feelings and experience moments when you want to run away and do something else. The point is that such moments will still happen.
Look for opportunities in your free time
If you're currently doing something you hate (most of the time) and want to build a new career, start by looking for opportunities in your free moments.
Churchill wrote his first book in three-hour breaks while serving in India. He was 23 at the time, and all his military peers used this time to sleep or play cards. Churchill remained alone at this time and devoted his free hours to writing a book. The result of this decision was the beginning of his career in literature.
Many people started the same way: they devoted every free minute to a new interesting business, combining training or work in a company with work on their personal projects.
You don’t have to give up everything and completely immerse yourself in the business that you consider your calling. At first, it will be quite possible to combine it with other activities that are no less important at the moment.
Keep a routine
Churchill had a very strict daily routine, which made him incredibly productive. Creating and strictly adhering to your schedule will help you too, especially if you have enough tasks.
Concentrate
Churchill was incredibly productive, not so much due to the number of hours he worked, but due to the highest degree of concentration. Lieutenant General Jan Jakob was simply amazed by his ability to concentrate on something:
When his mind is occupied with a specific problem, he is constantly focused on it and no one can distract him.
Concentration helps to gain a clear vision and purpose. Don't do work for the sake of work, always set a goal for yourself. Churchill always set himself challenges, such as writing a thousand words a day, to set work deadlines. And during the war, as Manchester wrote, “his attention was directed only to Hitler, to the exclusion of everything else.”
Know your goal clearly, plan your strategy carefully, execute your plan - and victory will be yours.
Rule Like a King: The Great Role of Leadership
It may seem that the only way to maintain the enthusiasm of youth into adulthood is to avoid obligations and responsibilities, remain single and live for yourself.
There is only one drawback in this approach: such a desire to preserve youth denies one of the important features of childhood - the need to influence reality, to change something in this world.
When a child is just entering childhood, he really likes to press the buttons of the switch that turns on the light. This is one of the first experiences when you influence something and feel your innate ability to change this world.
Growing up, people often forget about this ability and the satisfaction that comes from controlling reality. We become spectators who have no influence on anything.
But every person still has this desire, an itch, which can be calmed only in one way - to accept obligations, because in obligations lies power.
If people refuse to commit and choose to remain children, they continue to “flip the switch”, only now their switch is a computer mouse.
They can choose from menu items, but that's where their power ends. If there aren't enough options on the menu, all they can do is complain about life. Meanwhile, power, no matter how strange it may seem, gives peace.
The leader, the one who controls the situation, is calmer than the one who simply obeys and is a follower.
Studies have shown that a military pilot experiences less stress during a flight when flying the plane on his own, all because he is in control of the situation. Therefore, even if the responsibility placed on you is high, you have more peace in your soul than those who choose not to take on any responsibilities.
Thus, the energy of youth is not preserved by avoiding obligations and responsibilities.
The most pathetic adults constantly complain about the media, culture, politics and much more and yet believe that they can’t do anything about it. The happiest people, on the contrary, take on enormous responsibility and enjoy the opportunity to change something in this world.
Wherever you decide to become a leader—in your family, among friends, at work, or in a cultural environment—remember a few rules.
Refrain from making sacrifices, do not regret hard work, do not seek dirty gain and do not be afraid of ill-wishers. And all will be well.
Always be ready to lead
In 1930, when Churchill was already in his sixth decade, it seemed clear that his chances of ever becoming prime minister were zero. When a British delegation of MPs led by Lady Astor visited the Soviet Union and met with Stalin in 1931, he asked them about the political situation in England and especially about Churchill. “Churchill? - Astor exclaimed with a contemptuous laugh. “Oh, his career is over.”
When everyone else thought that Churchill could no longer be taken into account, he himself was ready to serve and did not give up his dream - to become the head of Her Majesty's government. He watched Germany throughout the 1930s and never changed his position to please the general public.
Instead of changing to please society, he simply waited for the world to accept his truth, and it did.
And when he finally occupied the Prime Minister's office, he felt that he was following "his destiny" and that "his whole past life was a preparation" for the tasks that now confronted him. By remaining true to his convictions and monitoring German activity over the previous decade, he could confidently say that he would be good in his post.
My warnings over the past six years have been so numerous, so detailed, and now so monstrously justified, that no one can contradict me. I also cannot be accused of starting this war or wanting to prepare for it.
Winston Churchill
You are preparing to lead, not in the middle of the storm, but in the calm before it. Now everything may be fine in your family and your business may be thriving, but someday this may end. Are you ready to take responsibility, guide and lead?
Speak the language
Words have great power if you know how to control your speech. When crafted correctly, powerful phrases and compelling arguments can literally change the world. Churchill argued that a person who speaks a language...
...possesses a power greater than that of the greatest king. He is an independent force in the world. Abandoned by his party, betrayed by his friends, deprived of his post, he can still control anyone with the help of this formidable power.
Be an example for your subordinates
Examples have even more power than words. Churchill didn’t just talk to the people, he seemed to have walked the path he was talking about. The strength of his moral standards was undeniable, and the strength of his character created an incredible effect. People could follow him to the ends of the earth.
Whether it's a father, a coach, a boss, or a spiritual leader, an example of a strong person doing the right thing is much more effective than hundreds of diatribes.
A leader who shows determination and courage does not even need passionate speeches to get other people to follow him and do what he inclines them to do.
Be prepared for people to try to overthrow you
Do you have any enemies? Fine. This means that you once stood for something in your life.
Winston Churchill
Once you realize that you are moving towards real change, critics will immediately appear who will try to denigrate you and dethrone you from your leadership position. Just take these attacks for granted. This is a sign that you are truly making a difference in this world.
Have the courage to face ingratitude
Don't expect people to thank you forever just because you did something good for them, even if it was a lot of good. People have a short memory for good deeds and prefer to focus on the negative.
After Churchill led his nation through six years of world war, the British wanted a new leader in peacetime. His friend Harold Nicholson once said: “It’s human nature. When we reach the open sea, we forget how we clung to the captain during the storm.”
But Churchill only brushed aside such thoughts of ingratitude. Yes, he regretted that his service was shorter than he would have liked, but he had already done a lot of what he was going to do, and that was enough.
Create like God: an integral part of life
To be truly happy and healthy, a person needs two or even three hobbies. And they all must be real.
Winston Churchill
The secret of Churchill's incredible productivity can be considered a paradox, since it lies in the same active and productive use of his leisure time.
Churchill discovered that this was the only way to achieve many hours of productive work per day. If he noticed that the results of his literary works were becoming confused and unsatisfactory, he simply switched to another type of activity. After some time, he could return to writing again, invigorated and ready for new literary exploits.
Churchill believed that by periodically engaging in various activities, a person trains his brain well and has a good rest.
There is no point in telling tired “mental muscles”: “I’ll give you a good rest,” “I’ll go for a walk,” or “I’ll just lie there and not think about anything.” The mind will continue to do the same thing. If he weighs and measures, the weighing and measuring continues. If he gets upset, he will continue to do it. There is no use arguing with your mind in such a situation. One American psychologist said: “When you get upset for some reason, there is a kind of spasm of emotions: the mind has caught something and is not going to let it go.” You can only cautiously try to hint at something else while the mind convulses on the subject of past thoughts. And if this something is chosen correctly, if it really belongs to another area of interest, then the mind begins to gradually relax and recover.
For this reason, Churchill recommended that everyone take up a few hobbies as a way to find an antidote to being "bothered to death" and "bored to death" through stimulating games.
Choose your hobbies carefully
Despite the fact that Churchill called hobbies an integral part of a fulfilling adult life, he did not believe that you can choose them just like that:
A hobby is not something you can quickly pick up in one day. Finding interesting activities for your mind is a long process. You need to carefully choose your hobby and maintain interest in it.
Churchill believed that an interesting hobby was needed not only by those for whom work and play are incompatible things, but also by those who truly loved their work. The most important element in choosing a hobby, he believed, was that the activity was different from what you did during the day.
It makes no sense to ask a laborer who has been sweating and exhausting himself all week to play sports on Saturday, such as football or baseball. In the same way, you shouldn’t invite a politician or businessman who has been working and worrying about important things all week to work and worry over the weekend, but on a different task or project.
Churchill also noted that, despite the great popularity of reading as a hobby, it is too similar to the daily activity of a person who makes a living by mental work to provide him with enough contrasting impressions.
In addition, Churchill advised choosing hobbies that involve both the eyes and the hands—crafts—as they best help restore mental balance.
Again, this is especially true for knowledge workers, as manual labor fills the gap in such occupations. In addition, there is an opportunity to create something, which is especially important for people whose work is not related to creativity.
And finally, Churchill was against the huge number of hobbies that some people take up simply to enjoy a new or unusual activity, and then abandon it. Discipline is important not only in work, but also in hobbies, since it sets the very way of life and thoughts.
Let's summarize:
- Carefully consider the different activities and choose the one that suits you best.
- Make sure that your hobby is radically different from your usual work activity.
- Do your chosen activity long enough so that it can turn into the true love of your life.
Keep different interests at the ready and take a break from a boring activity without regrets
Boredom was a threat to Churchill's peace of mind. Winston saw boredom as a waste of an already short life, and when he felt boredom setting in, he made sure to take a “ruthless break” and choose a more suitable activity.
Any activity could be a cure for boredom: dictating a letter, singing Gilbert and Sullivan operas out of tune, or laying bricks in the garden on Chartwell... He always had a whole list of possible activities in stock: reading a novel, feeding a goldfish, analyzing what was written in newspapers or pathetic speeches about England's great past.
Modern adults sometimes get stuck in tedious activities, not even because they have not found an interesting hobby for themselves, but simply because they do not even suspect that they are bored.
In the modern world, where you can sit down at a computer or pick up a smartphone at any time, we don’t even understand that we are actually wildly bored, and useless surfing is just a way to distract ourselves from boredom.
You are simply wasting time on useless distractions, and there is no time left for interesting activities. Therefore, the ability to identify boredom, mercilessly interrupt and do something else is very important, in particular for freeing up time for worthwhile hobbies.
Delegate tasks if possible
Of course, Churchill's super productivity was not due solely to his enthusiasm and ability to concentrate. He had a whole team of assistants who solved the main problems and thereby freed up space in his schedule for more important matters. He didn't clean his house, cook food, or go shopping.
Some people think that if you delegate your affairs to someone else, in other words, dump your affairs on others, this can change your character for the worse. However, an analysis of the lives of many great people shows that for the most part they knew how to delegate their affairs and used it very often.
After all, would the English nation have benefited much if Churchill had raked leaves in the garden instead of writing speeches on a Saturday morning?
In addition, outsourcing everyday routine tasks allows you not only to devote more time to work, but also to find more time for hobbies, which, as we said above, are sometimes no less important than the work itself.
Yes, of course, most of us are not wealthy enough to pay people to do all the routine things for us. But perhaps you can find money for some of them: pay for cleaning your home and office, delegate some business to your employees and relatives.
Remember: you are freeing up your time, which can be spent much more productively than cleaning the tiles in the bathroom.
Taking a decisive break from boring adulthood
Many adults are now bored, have little rest, and feel anxious and depressed. Churchill was prone to melancholy, but he managed not to succumb to its attacks due to work that brought him satisfaction, interesting hobbies and no less interesting responsibilities.
To combat bad moods, periods of boredom and idleness, Churchill always used the method of hard breaks. The bodyguard tasked with keeping an eye on Churchill once remarked:
He can start moving at any moment, without warning. If he encounters boring people during dinner, he will be polite and tolerate them for a while, but then he will simply give up and leave. If the movie he is watching is boring, he will not force himself to watch it to the end - he will simply get up and leave, and it does not matter who he came to the screening with, even Mr. Franklin Roosevelt himself.
Sometimes the time comes for a decisive break from the flat and boring adult life. Our work, responsibilities and free time can be difficult, stressful and filled with problems, but not boring.
Someday you will die. But until you're in the grave, don't let boredom get to you.
You don't have the best self-image
You are the person who knows you best. You know everything about your strengths and weaknesses, positive and negative sides. If you constantly focus only on your shortcomings and punish yourself for mistakes, you will inevitably begin to experience depression. Self-esteem will fall, and enthusiasm, which is so necessary in completing tasks and making decisions, will disappear.
It is important to think well of yourself. Accept yourself for who you are. Don't exaggerate your shortcomings, notice your successes. Love yourself. You will definitely like this life more, because there is room for happiness in it.
Or maybe you're just in the wrong company?
Sometimes you shouldn’t suffer from the problem “people are bored with me” and try to adapt to these people - because these are not your people at all. You can be considered a gloomy, boring, “gray” person simply because you do not fit into the “subculture” of a certain community. So, for example, you may not fit into a female team at work if it is customary to gossip and discuss recipes, but instead of participating in this “team building” you prefer to remain silent.
Beautiful and Successful knows how to become more confident >>
Usually, companies secretly consider as uninteresting people who have little knowledge and are not passionate about the topic that unites this crowd. It is unlikely that a person unfamiliar with the teams, rules and ups and downs of big-time sports will be considered a fascinating conversationalist in a sports bar. In a company that spends time in pubs, a supporter of healthy eating and sobriety will not be considered “one of their own.” Etc.
But it’s not only your expertise in the topic that matters, but also adapting to the company’s communication style: understanding and using “internal” slang and jokes, “local memes,” etc.
As a rule, the problem of alienation to a certain team is solved by changing the team. Although it also happens that in unsuitable society there are certain people who are interested in you, and this develops into personal friendships.
