First date: where to invite, how to behave and what to give

There are many complaints that men behave strangely on dates. There are many articles on the Internet that have lost their relevance. I have outlined an adequate schedule for the meetings.

So that both partners enjoy it and have a desire to meet again. After all, we all really want to see a reliable partner next to us, with whom we want to not only passionately make love, but also build relationships and develop them.

Neither school nor university will tell you how to achieve this.

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Timur Kotov

Expert on dating and relationships with girls. Trainer and personal coach. More than 500 successful students.

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How to invite a girl on a date?

It is necessary to create a reason for a meeting, pay attention to common interests - hobbies. Example: You both wanted to go to a new movie, you take her and invite her to the movie - that’s a date.

What to talk about with a girl on a date?

Again, your common hobbies and interests come to the rescue. This way it’s easier to be on the same wavelength, but don’t forget about personal topics like M-F, I’ll go into more detail later.

How to kiss a girl on the first date?

Create comfort for both, touch on the right topics that will position you as a man, take steps towards a kiss.

Is sex possible on the first date?

From experience I will say that perhaps a lot depends on the girl, there are easy-going people, and with them it is more realistic. By doing it according to the scheme described below, the possibility increases.

What are the challenges for a guy on a first date?

They say that a man is Yin, i.e. leader, guide, and the woman is Yang, i.e. follows the man, so take matters into your own hands and be the initiator.

This means choosing the place where you will be comfortable. Set a time when it's convenient for you. This is what I call integrating girls into your life.

In case of failed dates, you don't really lose anything. The situation, on the contrary, is when a man goes to the other end of the city for the sake of a girl, postponed meeting with friends for the sake of dates, and as a result the date went well, he didn’t like the girl. Oh, how it’s a shame for a man that so much effort was wasted.

It’s good when a man has predetermined qualities and criteria for what he likes in girls. During the date, you ask the girl these questions and collect information about her. She either fits your criteria or she doesn't.

From the outside it will look like you are not a hungry dog who is ready to take anything, but a selective man. In turn, this directly translates - it means he has girls, and he has freedom of choice) we will strive for this. In nature, this greatly attracts girls.

Where should you take your chosen one to charm her?

Amusement park.
As adults, we don’t visit amusement parks too often, and if you offer to take a girl there on a date, it will cause her a lot of positive emotions. Note that at first she may be skeptical about this idea, but when she tries out several interesting attractions, then you will be able to see real delight on her face. Don’t forget to buy her a few balloons and cotton candy or ice cream - this way you will give your beloved a piece of a bygone childhood, which will certainly impress her.

Circus.
Another “greetings from childhood” for your chosen one can be the circus. It is worth noting that many girls have never been there at all or have very vague memories of the circus. Be that as it may, your lover will remember the evening at the circus for a long time.

Zoo.
Many girls love animals very much, so a trip to the zoo can be a wonderful surprise. But it is worth noting that now many zoos make a depressing impression, and the animals do not evoke delight, but only a feeling of nagging envy. To prevent this from happening, look for visiting zoos where animals are kept in ideal conditions, or give preference to a small zoo, where they are also very kind to animals.
Reserve.
Find out what protected areas are available near your city. After that, organize a trip there for your beloved. She will definitely be captivated by the natural beauty, especially if she has never been there before.
Balloon flight.
Such a gift can bring your young lady truly unforgettable emotions. However, you yourself will undoubtedly be pleased. This service can be ordered in almost any city. It is important to note that this entertainment is often not cheap, but if you need to seriously impress your chosen one, then the costs are worth it!
Horseback riding.
This service is offered by many equestrian clubs. You can also additionally order a photo session that will leave in your memory the most exciting moments of this day. If you are sure that your lover likes animals, then meeting horses will definitely charm her. Do not forget to warn the girl about the format of the date in advance, so that she chooses clothes and shoes that are comfortable for her - for example, high-heeled shoes will simply not be appropriate for such a pastime.
A boat trip.
In many cities with rivers, a similar pastime is often offered - an hour-long boat trip. Travel time can last longer - each organizer has its own specific proposals. When the ship leaves the pier, you can sit comfortably at the tables and enjoy the view around you, as well as communication with each other.

How to invite a girl on a date?

There are two options: when the acquaintance happened in person and when you met on the Internet.

Where do you meet people most often?

Internet

61.9%

Real life

38.1%

Voted: 21

After live dating.

A date with a girl almost immediately after meeting.
I met in person, and it’s good when, in the process of meeting, you already find a reason to meet. It could be that you both want to go see a new movie or that you both wanted to go to the skating rink this month, but it hasn’t worked out yet. (There is a reason - a reason for a meeting. Afterwards it is logical to exchange contacts.)

Those. You are not the man who approaches all the girls left and right and collects numbers. You are a man who values his time, so you approached her, after talking, you realized that you have common interests, and only after that you invite her to a meeting. Those. conclusion: during acquaintance, already agree on a meeting, create a reason for the meeting based on your common interests.

Online dating.

Here is a different approach. As practice shows, girls from the Internet often break off dates due to great male competition. For example, today (Thursday) I agreed with a girl from Tinder to meet for the weekend. Tomorrow another man writes to her, makes a more tempting offer, and a banal ride in his Mercedes. This is how the girl merges.

Or another situation, a girl sits at home with her troubles, afraid of meeting a man, awkward pauses, and many other cockroaches. Low motivation for the meeting - laziness, I might get some sleep on the weekend, and it ruins the meeting. I think you are very familiar with this.

How to avoid this:

exchange contacts on a dating site and continue communication in instant messengers;
voice messaging and video calls;
We identify 3-5 common interests - hobbies, and plan a meeting based on common interests;
Understanding where the meeting will be and what you will do, talk about it a couple of times on the phone - voice. Make a passage to the future, giving pleasant emotions, arouse the desire to meet, so that your story will come true in reality;
We’ll find out when the girl is available, schedule a meeting and confirm;
Before the meeting, we keep in touch socially, don’t write nonsense;
we remind you about the meeting a day before;
on the day of the meeting we write, we also remind you, unobtrusively through: how beautiful the weather is today, this is because we are meeting with you;
two hours in advance we write that we are going, send a photo of our image
then we are there and meet our beautiful one;
such difficulties that a meeting would certainly take place. Because often girls from the internet leave the meeting, and I feel bad for the guys.

Where you shouldn't invite a girl

When thinking about where to go on a romantic date, you should refrain from choosing places where it is problematic to communicate with your companion. Such options should be left for the future.

Cinema

Usually girls carefully prepare for a meeting with a guy, paying attention to clothes, hairstyle and manicure. But in the darkness of the cinema hall, it will be difficult for a man to appreciate the beauty of his girlfriend. There will be no opportunity to talk while watching a film; in addition, it is problematic to guess what genre of films the lady likes most.

Any girl knows where to go on a date with a guy. Sometimes her opinion differs from the tastes of the majority. For example, introverts may favor meeting at the movies.

Family dinner

Even if a man has the most serious intentions, you should not introduce your chosen one to all your relatives on the first date. The girl will find herself surrounded by strangers who will constantly ask her questions. As a result, the situation will become very tense.

Beach or pool

Pool dates are usually arranged by guys who want to appreciate the natural beauty of their partner. But if the acquaintance took place recently, the girl may feel embarrassed when she finds herself next to her companion without makeup and half naked.

Date with friends

Excitement before a romantic meeting is common to everyone, but this is not a reason to come with your friends. The girl will clearly be uncomfortable in an unfamiliar company. In addition, the boyfriend's friends may begin to remember various ridiculous incidents from his life. All this does not contribute to getting closer to a potential partner.

Concert

Because of the loud music, the date will have to be spent in silence. Even if you manage to guess the tastes of your companion, such a meeting will not help create a romantic mood in her.

TOP 5 places for seduction in Moscow or where to take a girl on a first date?

After five years of practice in meeting and dating, I noticed good places for dates. I'll write it down below:

Hookah bar Number one 1 on the new Arbat . Pleasant lounge-style atmosphere, dim lighting. Adequate visitors, comfortable sofas where you can unite and have a great time alone. Hookah there from 1,500 rubles, tea from 400 rubles. The average check per person is from 1,500 rubles, you can get a good hang of two hours.
Gorky Park . Budget option, but enough emotions. In winter, go for a ride on the skating rink, drink hot tea, and take a romantic stroll on the way to a cafe along the embankment. In the summer it’s just a pleasure, take ice cream and a bottle of water, go for a walk, feed the ducks, dance salsa on the dance floor, listen to music, watch the sunset, wave to people passing by on the boat and enjoy dating. Budget 500-700 rub.

Boring Garden . It’s quiet here, not crowded, you can find yourself there under the pretext of feeding the squirrels. Girls love these emotions, take photos, walk, breathe fresh air. The shop will completely replace the cafe; words cannot describe the atmosphere that is there in the summer after 7 pm.
Old Arbat is the central children's world.

Where should you definitely not spend your first date?

The golden rule, as I wrote above, is that you are a leader, you decide where and when to make an appointment! So, men often adapt to girls at a meeting . Those. the girl wanted to go to a new film, and you don’t like it, but you sign up. In total, you don’t feel comfortable being there, not to mention enjoying dating. As a result, you regret wasting your finances and these two hours of personal time.

In general, if we talk about establishments, then make sure that they are not so crowded. So that at the next table your grandmother does not comment on your kisses and hugs.

Places for joint active recreation

If you decide to have fun and spend time actively, there are several great options:

Horseback riding . This idea combines both active and romantic relaxation. A country hippodrome is best suited for this purpose.
Aquapark . Awesome slides, splashes, energetic music - a great place for a date with an active girl. Another obvious advantage of visiting the water park is that you will be able to appreciate the figure of your chosen one in all its glory.
Autodrome or karting . For those who love adrenaline and speed, this version of the meeting will definitely appeal to them. You can have races or just drive cars.
Amusement park . This entertainment is also not devoid of adrenaline and activity. Ride a roller coaster and other breathtaking rides, a Ferris wheel, go to the room of fear and laughter, eat cotton candy.
Ice rink. In winter it can be an outdoor skating rink, in summer it can be an indoor skating area.
One-time lesson in a dance studio . This is an original way to spend time, which is highly likely to be remembered by a girl for the rest of her life.

In addition to the above, you can play bowling or billiards . Having a little competition will definitely bring you closer together and help you have a great time.

Date at the skating rink

When choosing, remember that surprises are not always appropriate. It is better to arrange meetings without prior agreement on a place after you get to know each other better. This way you will know about the girl’s preferences, her fears, desires and character traits. Otherwise, there is a risk that your idea will be unsuccessful - for example, a girl is terrified of heights, and you propose a date on the roof of a high-rise building.

How to behave with a girl on the first date?

An important rule, I will not tire of repeating, is to BE NATURAL, to be yourself, to behave as you would behave with close friends. No, don’t go from one extreme to another, I’m not saying that you gnaw sunflower seeds in front of a girl and swear, no. I'm talking about the state, freedom of topics discussed, etc.

Invited a girl to dance in the park

Often men play someone else's role, but not their own. They pretend to be someone and hide their true selves. This is a completely separate topic.

During the communication process, try to include a question-answer format - this is when you asked a girl something, she answered, asked you, etc. This is how we create a dialogue avoiding a monologue!

In practice, students have said more than once that this helps a lot, and the pain immediately disappears: what to tell her about, etc.

Principles of behavior on a date for a man

Show your intentions if it’s difficult to get through jokes.
Maintain eye contact, making eye contact 70% of the time.
Smile, show your friendliness.
Breathe deeply, this way we relieve anxiety and trembling in the voice.
It’s good if you watch your posture when you sit and walk.
Address her by name.
Give natural compliments.
Tell me what qualities you value in a beautiful field.
Talk about past relationships in a neutral or even positive way.
Avoid harsh criticism of anything or anyone.
Make physical contact by starting with the web.
Jokes, if you don't know how to tell a joke, if you don't know, learn it!
Try not to interrupt, listen and comment. But, if the conversation is going in the wrong direction, change the topic and state it in a directive manner.
When you are afraid to say or ask something. Talk about it as it is, what you are going through and it’s difficult for you, start discussing it this way.

Picnic, trip out of town

It's not a bad idea to spend time in nature. You can have a picnic in a city park or outside the city. If you have your own vehicle, the second option becomes more feasible. After all, a “hustle and bustle” in a minibus or bus for the sake of a first date with an unfamiliar person will certainly ruin the rendezvous.

How to overcome the fear of meeting a girl?

Five years ago I couldn’t say hello to a girl I didn’t know. Not to mention dating. Good for you for reading about dating. So you don’t have any difficulty getting to know each other. But! Let's remember, has it always been like this? Probably not.

A girl worries just as much as you before a first date

Right now you're scared because:

you don’t know how to properly introduce yourself on a date;
few or no successful dates;
little practice.

We will begin to receive positive emotions and success only when we start doing it. There is plenty of theory in this article. Practice is up to you.

Or, when you come to me for personal training, you thereby shift the responsibility to the coach and the coach takes control of you so that you make acquaintances - have dates and move forward.

Exercises to help you deal with pre-date jitters. Take an A4 sheet of paper and write down what are you afraid of?

Write what will happen if this happens, if your fears come true?

Write it down and try to live it as if this were happening. And what? Often, during this exercise, you already come to the understanding that you have thought up a lot for yourself just not to do it. When you came to terms with the fact that the worst thing would happen, you realized that it was not fatal. After this you feel better, this is what the person who helped the exercises tells you!

How to cheer a girl up and lift her spirits

Women's nature is characterized by increased sensitivity, and this contributes to frequent mood swings. Just a few minutes ago, a girl who was in a rosy mood may not only become sad, but also cry. In this situation, the stronger sex is often lost and does not know how to cheer up the girl. And in order to calm down, sometimes it’s enough for her to say just one phrase. But you need to know which one!

To understand what a girl needs in this situation, you need to talk to her, but you shouldn’t expect her to directly tell the guy to calm her down. He will have to understand this from her hints, facial expressions and gestures. What can a guy do who wants to cheer up a sad girl? The following male actions can significantly improve a lady’s mood:

Sometimes, just a hug is enough to calm her down.

Treat her to something sweet, because such food, as scientists have established, contains happiness hormones, and although the result will not be immediate, it is very effective.

A compliment said from the bottom of the heart can calm and cheer a girl up. Because often her bad mood is caused by an inferiority complex, from which even the most beautiful girls suffer. All women want to hear frequent declarations of love and words of admiration for her appearance.

An unexpected pleasant surprise, which could be a bouquet of flowers, a cup of her favorite tea, watching a comedy together, or a romantic walk in the park.

When thinking about how to cheer up a girl, men often make a number of mistakes that further aggravate her condition.

If you want to calm a girl down, you should not:

Tell her jokes: a girl in a bad mood reacts very sharply to vulgarity and rudeness, so her reaction may be tears.

Offering her alcoholic drinks will only contribute to the worsening of the girl’s depressive state.

Prank her. Females always react negatively to practical jokes, and in this situation, such behavior from a man may seem overly rude and inappropriate to her.

Having in his hands an effective weapon that can defeat a girl’s bad mood, a young man will very quickly be able to cheer up the girl, win her attention, affection and love.

A state of joy and good mood can be quite simply evoked without resorting to all sorts of grief relievers. For example, the essential oil of the citrus family traditionally puts women’s feelings in a positive mood. In their natural form, such essential oils exist in the skins of ripe oranges, lemons, and tangerines.

Your girlfriend is sad and you don’t know how to cheer her up? Quickly hand her the largest and sunniest orange, peel it and see how quickly this simple remedy can work. Just take care to find out in advance whether she is allergic to citrus fruits, otherwise the result may be the opposite of what was expected.

And here is another method recommended by quite a few sources on how to cheer up a girl with the help of chocolate. After all, this delicacy contains special substances that stimulate the production of unique endorphins, the so-called happiness hormones, in the female body.

You just need to take certain nuances into account. After all, your chosen one may currently be following a certain diet, and this method may not live up to expectations. Although you can try to convince her that dark chocolate does not make you gain weight, which is the true truth.

How to surprise your chosen one and is it necessary to do it at all?

Often people try to surprise a girl, give something, thereby hoping to please her. In the dating process, men often don't get the same return. Then comes disappointment.

How do you behave on a date?

I adapt to the girl in order to please her, I try to please

25%

Showing how real I really am

75%

Voted: 8

Conclusion: make sure this date is a pleasant meeting for you. You enjoy it, the girl enjoys it.

Sex on the first date - pros and cons

Again, as I wrote above, a lot depends on where and under what conditions you met the girl. You need to decide for yourself what you want from a date.

Those. Why do you suddenly want sex on the first date? This is cool, or you haven't had one for a year. If the second case, then it’s difficult for you to get sex, having a gap in your sex life for a whole year.

In my practice it happened both on the first date and on the fifth. I will say one thing, on the first date it’s difficult to bring the whole thing to sex, for an inexperienced man.

Don’t forget, girls are brought up that sex on the first date is bad, that after it on the first date a man leaves, etc. Therefore, the girl will not be eager to have sex on the first date. But you can lay the right foundation. On the second or third date, smoothly lead to intimacy.

Timur Kotov

Expert on dating and relationships with girls. Trainer and personal coach. More than 500 successful students.

My experience shows that sex on the first date does not lead to a harmonious relationship.

"Breakfast at Tiffany's"

Although a cafe is very banal, it is usually evening. But a morning meeting, breakfast together in some establishment is very romantic and sweet. A good option, when the weather is favorable, is to sit at a table not in the room itself, but in the gazebo.

However, it is better to discard the idea if:

the girl mentioned that she is a “night owl” and getting up early is like hell for her;

there is rain/frost/storm or any other unfavorable weather conditions outside.

But it’s better to navigate, as usual, by the situation. You can get the necessary light atmosphere even when there is a thunderstorm outside the window and you are enjoying aromatic coffee in a cozy cafe. And boredom, in turn, can nullify any romance that should arise in the morning, sun-drenched gazebo.

How to behave after the first date?

If you want a 2nd date, keep in touch.
If on the first date you were interested in the girl and liked her, then you need to agree on a second date.

Next, we keep in touch via messengers, exchanging voice and video calls. If you don’t like the girl, then at the end of the date we simply don’t write.

If the girl writes herself, then you can delicately explain that you are different and will not suit each other, or simply say that you are always busy and rarely answer messages and calls. The first option is closer to me - more environmentally friendly.

Where to have a romantic date

If you want to spend time together to get to know each other better, choose a quiet and cozy place without crowds of people. The most common option is a cafe . It doesn't have to be expensive or crowded. Most often, this option is a win-win, but here you need to take into account a few tips:

This should be a decent establishment with good cuisine .
Consider your financial capabilities to be prepared for any developments.
A good option is a hookah bar with cozy separate booths.
The establishment should play muffled, unobtrusive music .

If the cafe seems too banal, go to the park . It is important to warn your companion about this in advance, since, not knowing about your plans, she may come to the meeting in uncomfortable shoes or clothes not suitable for walking.

Date in the autumn park

An unusual and very romantic option is a walk on river buses . However, you should definitely discuss this with your chosen one so that the sudden presence of seasickness does not overshadow the meeting.

The roof of a house is a wonderful place to organize a romantic evening. To spend time at altitude, you need to think through everything down to the smallest detail. You will need tables, chairs, serving items, wine and light snacks. Make sure that on the appointed day the weather or other circumstances (for example, repair work) will not let you down. Be sure to take a blanket on the roof - it can often be windy at altitude.

Date on the roof of a house

If the first date takes place in the warm season, have a picnic near a pond or in a forested area. Think about where you will sit, take drinks and light food. Take care to protect yourself from insects if you suspect that they may interfere with your comfort.

Do not invite a girl to your home - she may perceive it very negatively