What is frustration?
We all have needs, ranging from the basic: food, water, warmth; ending with the highest: recognition in society, self-realization. At a certain point in time, individual needs become the most relevant and significant for an individual. He wants their satisfaction. However, this does not always happen. In this case, a state of frustration arises.
Definition of the concept
Thus, frustration is a psychological state characterized as a negative emotional state that arises due to a person not getting what he wants. It does not matter whether there is an objective obstacle to the goal or whether it is just a matter of subjective perception. For example, a person can take an action, but fear stops him.
Psychoanalysis interprets this concept as the result of a conflict between unconscious drives and moral standards. This phenomenon is present in the life of every person.
Reaction to disappointment
Some of the "typical" reactions to frustration are:
- anger,
- refusal to work (burnout or refusal to work),
- loss of self-esteem and self-confidence,
- stress and depression.
There is a saying: “Frustration breeds anger, and anger breeds aggression.” Direct anger and aggression are expressed towards an object perceived as the cause of frustration. If the car won't start, you can kick it.
If someone gets in your way, you can verbally threaten them or push them aside. If the source of frustration is too strong or dangerous for direct aggression, repressed aggression is often used.
Aggression is redirected to a less threatening and more accessible object.
An angry person often acts without thinking. A person gives in to his disappointment and loses his restraint. Anger can produce a healthy response if it motivates us to take positive action, but often actions taken in anger are destructive.
Indeed, if we could watch a video of ourselves being angry, feeling shame could help us heal from our anger.
When you feel frustration and anger rising, you must practice mindful reactions that lead to healthy actions instead of destructive ones.
If a goal is unattainable, the right and productive solution may be to abandon it. However, more often than not, refusal (withdrawal or apathy) is just a way to succumb to frustration.
Constantly experiencing disappointment, people may quit school, work, or move to another city. Apathy is giving up on all your goals. You don't have to get frustrated trying to achieve them.
We live in a time where we have to be persistent to achieve success. Think about how many projects you've started and then abandoned because you got frustrated and lost your patience.
Make a list of things you started and quit because they seemed too difficult. Now remember the disappointment and feelings you experienced when you failed to cope with it.
Remember that losers never win and winners never give up.
Causes of frustration
There are several approaches to classifying the causes of frustration. According to one theory, a person may not get what he wants due to:
- Deprivation. There are no funds to fulfill the need. A person is thirsty, but there is no source of water nearby and he cannot get to it.
- Losses. Previously, the need was satisfied, but then the resource ran out or was lost. A loved one was nearby, but died in a car accident.
- Conflict. A situation in which there are several motives and they contradict each other. A man is in love with a woman, but knows that she is married. His moral principles do not allow him to express his feelings openly.
From another point of view, the reason why frustration occurs is a barrier that prevents the achievement of a goal. There are several types of such barriers:
- physical (closed door, high wall);
- psychological (fear, self-doubt);
- biological (disease, weakness);
- sociocultural (traditions, norms of society).
However, the emergence of a barrier to achieving a goal or satisfying a need does not always cause depression, anger, or aggression. Factors that contribute to the aggravation of the situation include:
- Exceeding the endurance threshold. The need goes unfulfilled for too long or is too significant.
- A person perceives an obstacle as insurmountable and does not see the prospect of eliminating it.
These situations significantly increase the likelihood of developing a negative emotional state called frustration.
Love frustration: where does it come from?
As we found out above, love is a basic human need. First we need love from adults, primarily mother and father. With the onset of puberty, there is a need to find a love partner of the opposite sex: a husband or wife.
The desire to have a loved one fulfills several basic primary needs at once
:
- love (affection, care);
- sexual satisfaction, procreation instinct;
- a feeling of security, having a strong shoulder (for women) or rear (for men);
- recognition, self-recognition: I was chosen, which means I am good, of high quality.
Love frustration arises in connection with failures on the personal front. The more there are, the longer the period of loneliness, the stronger the degree of frustration.
A separate frustrating factor is the breakdown of relationships, especially in situations where it occurs due to betrayal or after a long life together.
A distinctive feature of love frustration is the creative actions of the abandoned or rejected person upon the return of the loved one or, less often, the beloved.
A person becomes literally obsessed with a former partner, and a love addiction similar to a drug addiction arises. This is an absolutely toxic relationship in which one wants to keep the other at any cost.
The experiences are so strong, especially in adolescence, that there are known cases of suicide due to unhappy love.
Why are love feelings so strong?
:
- a person is afraid that he will remain alone for the rest of his life;
- he believes that he will never experience such feelings for anyone else.
In addition, there is an emotional attachment to a person. In the case of harmonious sex, women produce the pleasure hormone oxytocin, which firmly binds her to the man. Of course, breaking such an attachment is not easy.
Women's reactions to love frustration range from extremely aggressive (throwing acid at a rival, threatening a man) to severe depression and unwillingness to live.
In such situations, two things should be understood
:
- Love is always a mutual feeling; if it is one-sided, then it is dependence
. A person is born and dies alone, no one belongs to anyone. Today a man wants to be with one girl, and tomorrow with another, and this is his right. You can't force someone to fall in love with you. Moreover, excessive intrusiveness will only push a person away. - It is necessary to increase self-esteem
. Every person deserves love and proper treatment. You cannot tolerate betrayal and self-neglecting relationships.
As soon as space is freed up in the heart and it is filled with peace, new love will come into it; there are many men in the world, and among them is the one who will appreciate it.
The Cause of Frustration in Human Design Theory
Recently, one can often find mention of a new tool for understanding a person’s individuality. Human design, the false self, and frustration are inextricably linked within the framework of this theory.
From this point of view, under the influence of sociocultural restrictions, the so-called false “I” is formed - acquired behavioral strategies that are determined not by the true aspirations of the individual, but by the rules accepted in the social group. From childhood, society assigns certain roles to the child and imposes models of action. Which leads to suppression of the true “I”.
With the existence of such a structure as the false “I,” frustration is a constant phenomenon. A person is forced to renounce his own needs and subordinate them to social norms.
Human design suggests developing an individual body map, determining a person’s type and profile, and understanding oneself, one’s true self. As a result, eliminate the conflict between your true desires and imposed social roles.
Manifestations and types
Frustration is an emotional state. According to many psychologists, it is directly related to anger. Depending on its direction, several types of this condition are distinguished:
- Anger is directed at external objects (those around them are to blame).
- Anger is directed at oneself (I am a failure).
- A person accepts failures, considers them inevitable, and the level of anger is minimal.
Aggression can be either systemic or manifest itself in the form of short but bright outbursts. It can take over a person who, before frustration arose, was not inclined to it.
The last model of behavior is the optimal and most constructive option. In this case, the person quickly overcomes a difficult situation and does not dwell on negative aspects.
In addition to anger, frustration of needs can manifest itself in the form of regression. In this case, frustration is a pattern of behavior in which an individual moves to a lower level of development. For example, an adult returns to childhood habits: crying, screaming, stamping his feet.
Methods of disposal
The algorithm for developing immunity to the state of frustration is to develop emotional stability in such cases:
- Conducting a SWOT analysis. The model helps to focus on identifying human resources - they help identify strengths that can change a person's response to a stimulus.
- Technique of accepting situations - a person is taught the process of accepting situations. He should not scold himself for his inability to perform certain actions. It is important to be physically tired in order to focus on the anger reaction. When a person experiences stress, he must throw out his emotions and look at the situation from the outside. In such cases, cardio and strength training may be carried out at the diagnostic center.
- The technique of separating the situation and the state - the treatment model involves learning to see a negative stimulus and a negative reaction. They are not identical to each other. When the client understands that the situation has already happened, reacting will not help change the consequences. Therefore there is no point in anger. The saying applies here: “You can’t change the situation, you need to change your attitude towards it.”
- Technique of “situation analysis and conclusions”. It allows you to identify in which zone there were failures of responsibility for the negative conditions that occurred. The method assumes that the client must write a letter describing the possibilities of exiting the situation to prevent the onset of aggression.
- The “mirror” technique is aimed at reflecting the situation. For example, a friend is trying to get out of a difficult situation. And the client must give him advice. These recommendations need to be voiced in front of the mirror in order to be adopted by your personal self.
- Elements of relaxation also help to get out of a state of frustration. Deep breathing, observing pictures from a psychological test, working with the diaphragm during yoga and more should be done in a state of rest immediately after the onset of feelings of frustration.
Frustration (in psychology, a state that occurs before or after negative events) can manifest itself not only after disappointment.
The effect of internal destruction can be prevented:
- It is necessary to evaluate a person's strengths and resources. Creative individuals can “save themselves” through relaxing activities (drawing, yoga and more).
- Weaknesses should be identified as undeveloped prospects. For example, a mathematician cannot draw, but is ready to learn. You just need to put in more effort.
- Capabilities – SWOT analysis requires you to evaluate your abilities to achieve a specific task. Each task completed must meet the requirements performed to achieve the goal.
- Threats are competition within social communication. If the goal is not achieved, you need to assess the threats that may prevent you from achieving the goal. You should also consider threats that can neutralize the target from view. For example, a vacancy for which 2 people are suitable.
In order for the matrix to “play”, you need to fill out the fields for the SWOT analysis thoughtfully. At the moment of frustration, you need to remember that there are 4 main elements that help determine the state of a person as a whole. Psychology also has indirect methods of influencing the subconscious - this is psychoanalysis, which involves working with the individual’s consciousness in order to change the attitude towards the situation.
Consequences of frustration
The state of frustration is especially dangerous because it can gradually consume a person. A vicious circle is formed. Due to depression, the effectiveness of activities decreases, and even fewer needs are satisfied. Destructive emotions rage inside a person.
All this can lead to dramatic personality changes. There is a risk that the person will turn from calm and cheerful to aggressive and hostile. Or he will completely lose his incentive and interest in life and become apathetic.
In a condition such as frustration, aggression directed at oneself can cause the development of first feelings, and then a stable inferiority complex. A person stops believing in his own strength, in his ability to achieve results.
Such destructive tendencies are reflected in all aspects of life, destroying careers, families, and friendships. They cannot be ignored; this condition must be overcome.
Frustration Resistance
Not all people react to similar situations in the same way. Resistance to frustration depends on:
- personal characteristics;
- health status.
For a purposeful person with a strong character, a situation in which he failed to achieve his goal can spur him to action even more. He will not waste time worrying, falling into a negative emotional state, but will make additional efforts. But a passive or vulnerable individual can become deeply immersed in his emotional experiences.
A person in good physical shape always endures difficult psychological situations more easily. He has enough internal reserves for resistance.
On the other hand, inflated self-esteem is fertile ground for the development of a state of frustration. A person’s real capabilities do not allow him to satisfy overly ambitious goals and exaggerated needs. The likelihood of disappointment increases.
Definition
In 1915, Freud gave an unusual definition of the concept of frustration. In his opinion, this phenomenon means a public refusal of opportunities by a person who finds it easier to fall into withdrawal. At the same time, a person experiences disappointment of his own free will when he “gives up.” And, in order to avoid consequences, he automatically falls into a state of withdrawal (abstinence from a fixed idea).
The only thing Freud disagreed with other psychotherapists about was the concept of abstinence. The psychoanalyst believed that any treatment should take place in conditions of sexual and emotional peace. When a person is obsessed with something, wants to achieve a goal at any cost, keeping him in a hospital bed is unacceptable. This idea appealed to more modern authors of the frustration theory.
Leonard Doob and Neil Miller in 1939 suggested that frustration could be a condition such as obsession. Later in 1967, L. Berkowitz put forward the theory of incurable mental illness. The idea was that as a person achieves a goal, he will want more.
A similar theory was expressed by adherents of Marxism and the ideology of saturation with goods. O. Maurer and R. Sears conducted an experiment in 1969 called the “frustration-aggression theory.” And it consisted in the fact that a person, according to the basic data hypothesis, had the material condition to achieve the goal.
During the experiment, it turned out that the benefits did not help him get enough, although he received the desired result (purchase, achieving a goal, results).
Then Miller gave the concept:
“Frustration in psychology is the target reaction affected by the intervention.” In other words, a person is capable of achieving a goal a priori, but he is constantly hampered by external circumstances.
Representatives of the school of descriptive psychology liked this judgment. They also believed that factors could change the course of events. Psychoanalysts of the French school considered such individuals to be sick and aggressive, who could not cope with their fears.
The school of functionalism was based on an opinion that describes the inability of a person to come to terms with his capabilities and impossibilities, although later its representative, P. Janet, stated that one cannot limit the individual - one must motivate a person to achieve a better result.
Diagnosis of the condition
As already noted, manifestations of frustration affect the effectiveness of activities and radically change relationships with others. Family members, colleagues, and acquaintances notice that something is wrong with a person, although they do not always understand the reason.
However, specialized psychological tests have been developed for more accurate diagnosis and selection of strategies to overcome the destructive state.
Thus, using the Rosenzweig frustration test, you can determine what type of reaction to failure a person is prone to. How will he behave if an obstacle arises on his way? The technique is projective in nature and suggests analyzing pictures and making a decision about the character’s behavior.
To quickly assess the situation, the Boyko Frustration Level Questionnaire is suitable. It consists of 12 questions and is extremely easy to use.
The optimal strategy is to contact a specialist who will select a set of methods for a comprehensive assessment of the situation and find effective ways to solve the problem.
How to deal with disappointment?
It's unrealistic to hope to eliminate frustrations forever, but you can learn to do things to minimize your frustrations and ensure you don't react to a situation in unhealthy ways.
You need to learn to distinguish between what you hope will happen, what is likely to happen, and what actually happened. Life has its ups and downs—moments of relaxation and moments of tension.
When you learn to truly accept this reality, you are one step closer to being able to deal with disappointment in a natural (healthy) way.
There are several types of problems that we face in everyday life:
- those that you know can be solved;
- those that you are not sure whether they can be resolved or not;
- those that you know are completely out of your control;
- those that are so confused that it is not even clear what the problem is.
You must be able to accurately assess your abilities in order to change the situation that is preventing you from solving your problems and achieving your goals. You will be able to assess what types of problems you are facing and develop a realistic plan.
Learning to take things in stride will help you be more content and happy, which in turn will help you deal with anger and frustration more easily.
If you are upset, sad, anxious or depressed, it means you have less patience and tolerance for everything and everyone.
How to overcome frustration?
Overcoming frustration is much easier in the early stages. Some people are able to do this on their own, through introspection and self-hypnosis. For others, it is important to have the support of a loved one who is ready to help understand the reasons, accept them and help overcome obstacles.
If the negative state drags on, you may need the help of a psychotherapist. Different schools of psychology offer their own methods.
Positive psychotherapy aims to reframe the situation. The patient receives the specialist’s approval and support. Comes to understand that every person has value, regardless of achievements and failures.
The cognitive-behavioral approach is focused on identifying negative thoughts and turning them into constructive ones. This allows a person to successfully adapt to any events and avoid a state of emotional tension.
Existential experts call a person’s loss of meaning in life “existential frustration.” They help the individual regain meaning and also accept reality. Helps eliminate the negative consequences of the protective mechanisms of the individual’s psyche.
Almost every person in his life encounters examples of frustration, both in himself and in those around him. The most important thing is to find a way out of this state in time. Unfortunately, it is impossible to completely avoid failure. However, you should not take them too seriously and become immersed in negative emotions, then frustration will not be scary.
Preface
Knowledge of protective psychological mechanisms is essential for the successful work of psychologists, psychiatrists and psychotherapists, for medical psychologists, teachers, leaders of work groups and organizations. It deepens both self-knowledge and knowledge of other people. These mechanisms, the honor of the discovery and preliminary scientific research of which belongs to Sigmund and Anna Freud, as well as partly to other psychoanalysts, make it possible to explain a large number of phenomena in the mental life of people. Knowledge of defense mechanisms and their dynamics constitutes an important section of the theory of frustration, stress and psychological adaptation of the individual, and even social and ethnic groups, to the conditions of their life.
For many years, both in scientific monographs and in university textbooks, especially in Western countries, the ideas about protective mechanisms that developed by the 50s of the last century have been repeated almost without changes. Readers of such works might have the impression that in this area of psychology all issues have already been resolved, all protective and compensatory mechanisms have already been discovered and described. However, a closer look at the defensive behavior of individuals and groups reveals that this is not the case at all. Each of the defense mechanisms (repression, projection, rationalization and others) requires more thorough research. Their relationships with other mechanisms of mental adaptation and protection, their mutual influence and mutual transitions are not entirely clear. We cannot even say with certainty that science already knows all the protective mechanisms. The processes and mechanisms of the emergence (genesis) and formation of these mechanisms, both in the history of mankind and in the history of the mental development of each individual person in ontogenesis, have been especially poorly studied. We know little about what traces remain in the structure of personality, especially in its character, as a result of prolonged and systematic use of one, two or various combinations of these mechanisms.
The author of these lines devoted many pages to the protective mechanisms of personality and ethnic groups in his previous monographs and articles. They are most widely described in the following books, written in Russian: “Socio-psychological adaptation of personality” (1988), “Ethnopsychological self-defense and aggression” (2000), “Human Aggression” (2007) and in the second updated and expanded edition of the monograph about the adaptation, which was recently published by the EKSMO publishing house under the title “Psychological Adaptation” (2010). An extensive monograph “Psychological Self-Defense and Character” is already ready, which I hope to publish in the near future.
This book, in much more detail than in previous publications, examines the most important defense mechanisms in human mental life (repression and suppression, rationalization and intellectualization, identification and mental regression), about various aspects of which a number of new ideas are put forward. Completely new, at least for my works, is a possibly broad and detailed study of the problem of the genesis of defense mechanisms. In this case, not only literary data on the first stages of ontogenetic development of children were used, but also the author’s own long-term observations of the development of a small group of children, including his own. New ideas about mental stress and frustration are proposed. It is shown what traces the systematic use of defense mechanisms leaves in the structure of a person’s character.
I hope that the problems and hypotheses put forward in the book can stimulate new and promising research in this extremely important, subtle and difficult area of modern psychology.
Albert Nalchadzhyan
March, 2013