Basic concept
What is a mature personality and how does psychological maturity manifest itself?
The concept of a “mature personality” was first introduced by the psychologist A. Adler .
In his opinion, a mature personality instilled confidence and a positive attitude in others, while immaturity was characterized by hesitation in decisions and intense uncertainty and instability.
In Russian psychology, this term was first voiced in the thirties by psychologist N. N. Rybnikov . At the same time, maturity was determined by the professional development of a person and his complete independence.
This scientist also founded a special branch of psychology, acmeology. This section is devoted to age-related changes in the psyche, which determined the further degree of maturity of a person.
Then approaches to defining this concept changed, which ultimately led to a multidisciplinary understanding of this definition. A mature personality is characterized by:
- Independence : this means the ability to live autonomously and solve problems without outside help or interference. Making decisions and responsibility for them falls entirely on the shoulders of an adult, mature person. This point is also characterized by a personal feeling of comfort from independent actions, that is, acceptance of one’s new position, separate from others.
- Self-sufficiency , that is, the ability to live alone with oneself, without experiencing any moral, psychological, or everyday discomfort. This concept is close in meaning to the first point, but has its own nuances: self-sufficiency means enjoying solitude, a state of mind when a person does not need others to solve any of his problems or satisfy his needs. This significantly distinguishes self-sufficiency from independence, when a person only has such an opportunity, but it does not always give him pleasure.
- Patience and tolerance .
These two definitions are closely intertwined. A mature person does not expect quick results in any area: be it personal changes in character or professional achievements. At the same time, the long path to achieving a result does not repel a person. He also treats the world and people around him patiently, which means tolerance. He accepts the world in its diversity without his own selfish desire to remake it to his taste. This also includes a democratic attitude towards people. - Self-acceptance and maintaining internal balance. Every person is dissatisfied with something in himself, but in a developed personality these shortcomings do not cause deep conflicts, but only direct changes in a positive direction or simply do not interfere with receiving pleasant impressions from life. Only a mature person who realizes the beauty of imperfection can accept and love himself.
- Constant readiness to learn and desire to learn something new . In changing conditions, the ability to learn allows a person to adapt to these conditions as quickly and effectively as possible, and, as a result, continue to exist successfully. Acceptance of such a necessity and readiness to begin learning new things without emotional rejection characterizes an adult.
Maturity of age and maturity of personality - what is the difference?
Age and maturity are not always synonymous concepts.
For acmeologists, identifying these definitions also causes certain difficulties: not every adult is a mature person and vice versa.
“Adulthood” reflects the degree of physical, mental and social development. This stage refers to a person reaching adulthood, when he is already physically formed and receives a number of rights and responsibilities as a citizen of his state and a member of society.
That is, certain expectations are formed from the individual , both professionally and personally. The success of realizing these expectations already comes from another concept - maturity.
A mature personality is characterized by mental health, the ability to adapt, make independent decisions and take responsibility for them.
She has qualities that characterize her as original and independent .
These qualities can develop in a person before his social and physical maturity, or maybe later. An immature adult personality will be characterized by infantilism, reasoning, and emotional instability.
They often say about such people “not matured ,” meaning not their age at all, but their personal maturity. Under normal conditions, this maturity comes with age, with which conditions change and new tasks and goals appear.
In the case of difficult life situations and rich experience, maturity may come “earlier than the calendar.”
In the absence of such changes and the constant care of others, maturity is usually delayed, which gives rise to problems in the future for an adult.
Adulthood period
In accordance with the provisions of E. Erikson, mature age covers the time from 25 to 65 years (forty years of life). If we take into account that the upper limit of this age period depends on the individuality of the person (can be pushed towards an even higher age), then the duration of maturity can be estimated within very wide limits.
On average, mature age is considered to be from 30 years to the moment of actual retirement, when active professional activity ceases (on average from 60 to 70 years). Personal characteristics can push back the border of maturity, which can give way to a time of withering (even after 40 years). There are cases when the period is pushed beyond the border of longevity. For some, adulthood continues almost until the end of life, despite the passport age, without being replaced by old age.
Finished works on a similar topic
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Note 1
The central age-related new formation in the period of maturity is represented by productivity, which is understood as an integral formation. Professional productivity includes contribution to the development and establishment in the life of the future generation.
In youth, the central aspects of development are, on the one hand, family relationships (for example, motherhood or fatherhood), and on the other, professional competence. During the period of maturity, based on these aspects, a unified formation already appears, which integrates the results of the development of neoplasms of the previous period of time.
No less significant is the importance of maturity as the most significant age period, capable of determining and characterizing a person’s life as a whole. This age represents a period of full flowering of personality, during which a person has the opportunity to realize his full potential, achieving maximum success in all areas. Maturity is the time of fulfilling one’s own destiny, which includes:
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- professional activity,
- social activities,
- continuity of generations, etc.
Psychology
Personal maturity occurs in the case of its harmonious development, subject to the presence of both positive and negative events.
A person’s ability to make choices and accept all consequences for him or her cannot fully develop under conditions of strict control or overprotection.
In this regard, adequate personal freedom of a maturing person is a building block for the success of his future maturity . Social and professional fulfillment plays a major role in the development of this process.
A mature person cannot be considered as such without the ability to independently provide for his needs, both morally and materially.
In this case, a conflict often arises between the desired and the possible: the desire to do something to one’s liking does not always bring a person a social position and the opportunity to fulfill his everyday needs without anyone’s help.
In this situation, a mature person develops skills such as compromise and perseverance in achieving a goal, which is impossible without self-acceptance and patience with the whole process.
Thus, obtaining an education and profession are important psychological stages of personality maturity . Another element of this process is family and friendship relationships.
The ability to live in harmony with friends and start a family characterizes a person’s maturity and helps him achieve this state.
Raising children imposes obligations and responsibilities that stimulate the “maturation” of the parents’ personality .
Friendly relationships develop democracy, friendliness and acceptance of other people and oneself in the individual in the context of interaction with them.
conclusions
The aggressor knows my emotionality and my habit of reacting childishly.
Aggressors understand perfectly well who can be attacked and who cannot be attacked. In this sense, it was me and my psychological immaturity that became the reason that I was used.
This is about your responsibility. Please note, no fault! The blame for unethical behavior remained with the Aggressor. It’s not my fault that he says nasty things about me.
But there is a reason why it is about me. And knowing this reason, I can control the situation. Guilt does not give you the opportunity to change the situation except to apologize, try to somehow fix it and promise not to do it again.
Stages and signs of psychological maturity
The process of development of a mature personality goes through several stages , which in a normally developing person correspond to certain periods of physical and mental development.
Sometimes the degree of maturity is delayed in formation or can even remain with a person for the rest of his life, without ever reaching a logical conclusion.
- Infantile personality - this stage corresponds to the child's behavior model. A person presents himself to others as he is without embarrassment or understanding of any negative aspects of him, and he also perceives the world around him.
At the same time, the individual has a great need for love and care, and there is a complete lack of independence.Such people are usually easy-going, have a minimum of attachments and are not ready to take responsibility for anything, even for themselves. The apparent optimism in actions is maintained until the first difficulty, when there is an active search for someone who will solve the problems that have arisen.
- Adaptive personality - during the period of normal development corresponds to adolescence. At this time, a person actively explores the world and strives to establish himself in it by any means. The need for independent decision-making with yet unformed responsibility is actively growing. The personality is characterized by instability and a tendency towards maximalism; there is a lack of patience with oneself and with others. Adults at this stage successfully conduct business and business, but are often unable to stay afloat for a long time and do not build family and friendships.
- Exploratory period or adolescence .
This time is characterized by an active search for oneself. A person questions existing ideals and questions his own. At the same time, the emotional sphere, the ability to empathize, and personal responsibility for loved ones and others actively develop. The personality is still prone to maximalism in relation to himself and the environment around him, but he begins to be more tolerant of people and his own inner world. At this time, the acceptance phase begins. - An adult or mature personality is characterized by all the qualities of a mature person. An awareness of the real picture of the world and one’s possible role in it comes, a person finds inner harmony and strives to create conditions for its maintenance.
What is adulthood
This is my opinion, which may not coincide with what is written in encyclopedias.
What is it that makes a Child’s view of the world so different from that of an Adult?
Selfishness. When, when considering any event, a person puts himself at the center.
Selfishness is an absolutely natural phase in the development of a child’s psyche. We are all born egoists and show natural egoism for up to 2 years. Then egoism begins to slowly fade, change, and manifest itself in different ways. It is no longer as total as in a baby, but it is still there. Teenage selfishness is considered normal. Somewhere around the age of 18-20, one way or another, we are all selfish and “this is the norm” (c)
The problem is that many adults, according to their passport, freeze at the psychological age of childhood and remain selfish for the rest of their lives.
In addition, regression in psychological development often occurs in old age. This is reflected in folk wisdom: “what is old, what is small.” Selfishness is the norm both for children and for old people. Exceptions are extremely rare.
Selfishness and self-love are very different things.
Self-love is about self-respect. About the ability to carefully and carefully treat yourself and your health. About living your life, understanding your desires, understanding yourself. About the ability to set psychological boundaries and the ability to protect them.
Egoism is about the fact that I am, and besides myself, I don’t hear anyone, I don’t see, I don’t understand, I don’t perceive. There is me and there are certain objects in the surrounding world that somehow influence me.
It's quite easy to say that those around us are selfish. But it is very difficult to see the undeveloped childish selfish psychological position in oneself. I will show you with my own example.
Childish selfish position
Yesterday I was offended. One person (let’s call him “Aggressor”) told someone close to me some nasty things about me. Slandered, slandered, humiliated, devalued. A close person told me about this.
What was my reaction? Children's room. I am 44 years old, but psychologically I react like a child.
For what? Feeling of injustice. Undeserving. A subsequent attempt to restore justice. Prove. At least mentally. Make excuses.
Disturbance. Condemnation. What a shame! Horrible! How could he?!
Helplessness. How terrible it is that for many years I have been trying to prove the opposite to the Aggressor present in my life, but the person still considers me bad, and I can’t do anything about it.
Vulnerability. The one who I believe is obligated to protect me does not do so. Can not. He doesn't want to. Doesn't consider himself obligated. (Bastard. He doesn't love me either.)
Betrayal and loneliness. I'm alone against everyone. They offend me, there is no protection. Nobody loves Me!
Emotional pain and resentment. Self-pity. The child roars in three streams. Take me in your arms! Someone finally solve this problem! Someone help me!
Agree, the reaction is logical. It is extremely unpleasant to find out that they are saying nasty things about you behind your back. The child has 100% reason to cry and demand to be pitied. And thanks to those from whom I found emotional support at this moment.
But in this situation I was selfish:
I don't deserve it. I was offended. Take pity on me. Why is this happening to me?
"I am in the center. And what's wrong with that?
The fact is that the inner Child suffers very much from the fact that he does not have protection from the inner Adult.
It was not someone on the side who should have stood up for me in this situation and defended me like a true knight, but I should not have allowed my inner Child to be hurt.
It was I who did not protect my Child inside, because my Adult is not yet fully developed. Because I am in a child’s psychological position open to the world.
This is a very enjoyable and creative position. The world surprises and inspires. I know how to enjoy little things: the view from the window, cats, flowers. I'm happy to learn new things. I feel young. I want to sing and dance. Isn't that great? Emotions are brightly colored. Nerves are exposed. Oops!
Have you read The Intuitive Eater's Morning Manifesto, which aims to remind you of the need for psychological protection? Just as we put clothes on our body, so our “I” needs “clothes”, protection, even in a mask, in an Adult who will protect the little Child inside.
Now let's see what last night might have looked like if my reaction had been more mature. B, and the motivation of others and the situation as a whole.
Adult position
I find out that the Aggressor was telling nasty things and tall tales about me. And I ask questions:
Why did that “bad man” lie to me? What benefit was he pursuing?
The simplest analysis begins:
— Did this man want us to quarrel?
- Maybe, but it’s very clumsy.
— Is the aggressor just stupid? Or is this an emotional outburst and nothing more?
- Oh no. This person manifests himself in life as a thoughtful person. Not simple and not stupid. Moreover, I know that the meeting was planned in advance. Apparently, it was for these words that they “summoned” him.
I find a discrepancy:
It is very strange that the Aggressor, knowing our closeness, does not understand that everything will be handed over to me.
Okay, stop. Again. The aggressor knew what they would hand me over. I was counting on it. Because I avoid communicating with the Aggressor, I have become unattainable. They are trying to reach me through someone close to me.
Well, everything fell into place. The aggressor lacks emotions. Ordinary everyday emotional vampirism. At the same time, quarreling before the New Year holidays and my birthday is an excellent reason not to give gifts. Both fun and profitable! But I’m still not going anywhere. This is objectivity for today.
Is this worth getting upset and crying about? Just shrug your shoulders.
I'll add. There is another motive. The aggressor is trying to increase his importance in the eyes of a loved one by devaluing me. The aggressor needs recognition of his exclusive role. Unfortunately, I really cannot be grateful for the presence of this person in my life and do not really appreciate attempts to “do good” on me and my family. It would probably be possible to play such gratitude, but it would be too sickening and disgusting. I’m only capable of this at large “theatrical performances”, like celebrating an anniversary with a crowd of relatives. The aggressor understands this and gets angry. But this is the background of our relationship, and not the specific reason for yesterday’s event.
Early: examples
Early maturation of the individual can occur in the event of strong emotional upheavals in life .
Thus, children left without parents realize the reality of their capabilities much earlier than their peers.
They the ability for critical thinking, a sense of responsibility for themselves, independence and practicality earlier
Children who have lost one of their parents also have a chance of growing up earlier, since they unconsciously try on the role of a departed family member, and are simply forced to develop more independently.
Early maturation is sometimes a characteristic feature of a person who is said to be “naturally born.” But such situations exist rather as an exception to the rule, since appropriate circumstances are needed for the full development of such a trait.
Also, early adulthood is typical for people who survived wartime, serious illnesses of close relatives, or divorce. All these situations are united by a negative connotation and loss : a way of life, a loved one.
Under these conditions, a colossal leap in emotional perception and intelligence occurs, and the realistic knowledge of the world and oneself is also stimulated.
