6 signs of an envious woman who doesn't belong next to you

Envy is a bad feeling that everyone has probably felt at least once in their life.

And if we can still control our emotions, then, alas, we cannot influence the feelings of other people.

In view of this, it is important to be able to identify who exactly is jealous of you, and try to minimize contact with this person.

How to independently develop emotional intelligence? Find out about this from our article.

Why is it important to recognize an envious person?

The people who surround us influence us in many ways .

The more negative emotions they direct towards us, the more negative things become in our lives.

If someone close to you only pretends to be happy about your successes and achievements , but in fact is simply jealous, then it is better to exclude such a person from your life or at least minimize communication with him.

The ability to recognize an envious person will help prevent a number of unpleasant situations and reconsider your environment .

Envy marker

How to recognize envy in yourself? This is very difficult for those who are not looking, because envy as an emotion today is actively supported by society and provoked by it. The consumer society is based on envy, envy in it is one of the main operating mechanisms: a person is offered a certain ideal, which he is called to strive for, but which he will never achieve. The whole point is in the chase, in eternal competition, constant comparison of oneself with others who have more, more expensive, cooler.

Many people assert themselves by being envied. And if a person lived in a society where he envied everyone, and at his expense they asserted themselves, then when he asserts himself, most likely, he himself will behave in such a way that others would envy him.

In such running around and competition with oneself in the true sense - to understand what I need and what I really need - there is no time left. Hence - constant dissatisfaction, despondency, irritation - the ideal has not been achieved.

Therefore, the first marker for detecting envy is when a person notices how strongly he is focused on other people, when he begins to think of himself in terms of success, constantly thinks, notices what others have and what he does not have.

In Russia, pop stars and actors are often the criterion for assessing success and the object of envy. I don’t want to say anything bad about actors, but back in the middle of the 19th century they were considered comedians, such a profession did not give the right to enter high society. And now for many it is a standard, people watch how they dress, how they sing, how they jump, despite the fact that most viewers will never be able to do that.

Recently there was hysteria about the birth of an heir in the UK. How many people went crazy, but the reason was not at all respect for the royal dynasty, but the desire - albeit in such a miraculous way - to touch the lives of great people, which you still cannot live. But you can be interested in this life, imitate in some ways, be involved in at least some way. And even if this is not envy in its pure form, this is the platform (the ideal and its unattainability) from which it is easy for envy to grow.

Maybe I’m fantasizing, but there’s probably something very missing in the lives of these English fans; sharing in someone else’s joy somehow compensates for the lack of one’s own. This happens, but sitting on someone else’s joy is harmful, because if you don’t have your own for a long time, in the end, someone else’s joy will irritate and sadden you.

It is important to take care of your life, look at why you have no joy and start doing something in this direction. The efforts themselves here will be of good meaning.

As one of the problems of our time, envy is similar to workaholism. It is very difficult to admit it to someone who suffers from it. This is how it is accepted in society: a person who works hard and earns good money is the norm, this is cool. And only then can a person agree to recognize workaholism as a danger, when family relationships begin to collapse and your loved ones suffer.

I think it's similar with envy. Envy is a crime against love. Envy kills love. Just like workaholism. You cannot love a person and be a workaholic at the same time, because love requires energy, time, attention, and for a workaholic all this is devoted to work.

You also cannot both love a person and envy him. If you suddenly notice that something is preventing you from loving this person, that the relationship is collapsing or not working out, you can ask yourself whether this is due to envy.

We are all living people, a person is a process and we are all imperfect in love. Therefore, let's say this: the more love we have, the less envy. And vice versa.

How does envy manifest itself?

How do you know if they envy you? There are common signs of envy. However, there are some differences in how men and women .

Men are more likely to envy career achievements and financial well-being. They are less emotional, so recognizing their envy is not so easy.

An envious male representative can exclude communication with the object of his envy and do everything not to receive any information about him.

He can also provoke this person, joke evil jokes, or openly provoke him into physical conflict , this is determined by character and temperament.

Women are not so straightforward, and their envy is expressed differently.

It can be different : gossip, caustic remarks, feigned indifference, and sometimes, on the contrary, fawning towards the object of female envy. They also tend to weave intrigues.

Feelings of envy

1. False praise

The person who is jealous of you is often the first to compliment you. However, as soon as you leave his field of vision, he rolls his eyes or belittles you in front of others.

Such a person would rather pretend that he is not jealous than tell you what he thinks to your face.

One way to turn envy against yourself is to give the person a sincere compliment.

when he succeeds at something. This will let him know that you are a sincere person and will help him cope with negative feelings.

2. They downplay your successes.

No matter how hard you work or how much success you achieve, envious people will always convince you that it was just an accident

. They will do everything possible to prove that your merits did not require any effort on your part.

Since they have nothing to be proud of, they take pleasure in convincing others that your successes are insignificant.

If you react to this behavior, the person may talk even worse about you. Stay humble but firm in your achievements

. If you brag, you will be even more envied.

3. They brag about their successes.

An envious person tends to boast about his achievements, exaggerating them. Moreover, most often he begins to advertise his successes at moments of your triumph. These are the people who can announce their engagement at your wedding.

You must understand that there are always people who are full of negativity not only towards others, but also towards themselves

and your abilities.

How to understand that a person is jealous of you?

How to recognize envy? Envy manifests itself differently in everyone. Its main features are as follows:

False joy. An envious person will strive to congratulate you on any achievement first. He can shower compliments that will immediately seem sincere.
But when you leave the room, his tone will immediately change. Quite often, such individuals pretend and divert attention from their real feelings.
The most effective method is to answer them in kind. Try praising and admiring them. This way, they may increase their self-esteem a little and become less envious.
Depreciation . Regardless of the heights they themselves have achieved and the efforts put into it, the envious person will try to belittle it all. He can prove that everything you have is just an accident or favorable circumstances. This is a very unpleasant manifestation of envy, and the higher your successes, the more negativity there will be from the envious person. Therefore, it is better to remain modest, but in no case lose confidence that you deserve what you have.
Exaggerating your success. Tormented by envy, a person will try to exalt his own success, which is especially evident when celebrating someone else’s.
The explanation for this is simple: complexes. He is not confident enough in himself and feels worse than others, so he tries to measure his success with them.
Imitating your behavior. An envious person wants to be better than the object of envy. Or at least like him. He can imitate this person, for example, in speech or clothing. In this case, you can try to give him inspiration by your own example, and not just provoke envy.
Competition . Envious people tend to compete because they constantly want to feel superior. In this case, you can either accept the fight or refuse it. The second option is, of course, better. It is worth showing that you are not competing with them, and competition is inappropriate.
Joy for failures. An envious person will be incredibly happy if you make the slightest mistake. He may not demonstrate this in any way, but at the same time secretly feel joy at your failures. Your task in this case is to endure failures correctly. Remind them that mistakes are a normal part of life and development. If you don't grieve, you'll deprive them of their pleasure.
Gossip behind your back . Envious people will always find a reason and method to gossip behind your back, which, of course, can harm your reputation. In this case, it is better to confront them directly. Since they are not inclined to demonstrate their readiness for conflict directly, you can have a serious conversation with them, this will disarm them, and this may be enough for them to think about their behavior or stop mischievousness.
Hatred .
If some person in your environment hates you, without really hiding it, then know that it may be a matter of simple envy. It's hard to deal with this. There is hardly any point in trying to improve relationships right away. It is optimal to erase such a person from your life or at least minimize the conflict with him.

You can also recognize an envious person if you study a little sign language. The following manifestations indicate this bad feeling:

A forced fake smile. When a person smiles sincerely, it involves not only the lips, but also the eyes. If a person smiles only with his mouth, we can talk about insincerity. The lips may be tense and the corners of the mouth may be overstretched. Also, a fake smile is often crooked, on one side.
Pay attention to the eyes. An envious person can hide his eyes in every possible way: squint them, cover them, or simply look away.
The hands of a person who is insincere with you may be near his mouth, as if he is subconsciously trying to cover it.
The head is often tilted to the side, this indicates the curvature of thoughts.
Suspicious “symptom”, closed posture with arms crossed on the chest.
Even more openly, insincerity and a desire to hide something is evidenced by a gesture when a person hides his hands in his pockets or behind his back. Another option is to hide your hands by clasping the elbow or wrist of your other hand behind your back. This suggests that the person is trying in every possible way to control his emotions.
You can pay attention to the tilt of the body. When a person is pleasant, we try to be as close to him as possible. If a person deviates from you, he is not sincere in his attitude.
It is also possible to assess sincerity by how a person changes the range of movements and their freedom . If he is too shy, he may be hiding his thoughts from you. Sudden changes are clearly noticeable in gestures and movements, so it is better to notice them in dynamics.

Of course, having discovered some kind of gesture, you should not immediately see your interlocutor as a fierce envious person. But if you constantly notice several of them, then you can talk about a certain degree of insincerity.

How to talk to an envious person in order to neutralize him?

When a person is jealous of you, it often comes in the form of passive or even active aggression. If you don’t care how your relationship with the envious person will develop in the future? You can approach him and ask him directly what exactly makes him angry and why he acts as if you are enemies. As a result, you can find out the reason.

But if a person himself is aware of his envy, he may not admit it. In this case, the conversation may not be constructive. In this situation, the main thing is to get out of the conflict situation, and how to do this should be determined by the situation.

If a person does not calm down and continues to behave aggressively due to envy, you can directly tell him about this and ask him to change his position. If you make it clear to the envious person that he has been exposed, you can at least temporarily protect yourself from negativity. But this does not guarantee that he will change his attitude.

Signs

Sometimes those closest to you are envious. How to recognize this, and what are the signs?

Envious eyes

Eyes reveal a lot about a person’s feelings and sincerity.

Envious eyes are prickly and piercing, and a person can try to hide this by covering them with eyelids.

He may lower his gaze, blink frequently, and half-close them. But even more often the envious person squints his eyes .

This look gives him the opportunity to simultaneously watch you and hide his facial expression.

It is quite difficult to recognize what expression a person has in his eyes if in fact only one pupil is visible, and there is a smile on his face.

And yet, by looking into the eyes, you can understand the level of sincerity of the person.

At a friend's

Women's envy, even towards a close friend, is not uncommon . It can be “white”, when your loved ones rejoice at your successes, without harming you or themselves, and use your achievements as their motivation.

However, there is also “black” envy, which tends to cause negative energy that is transmitted to others. Its extreme degree is revenge for the successes of others.

It is usually difficult for a person to hide such a feeling, and it can be expressed as follows :

dissatisfaction and irritation when you try to talk about your success or positive feelings,
imitation of you,
after you talked to your friend, you feel guilty for what you have,
a friend may stop you from taking important steps that could lead to something good in the future,
she may ignore your positive emotions, but show a clear interest in negative ones,
can openly compare you with each other, emphasizing his superiority,
She can also insincerely and very feignedly express love and respect for you.

In a circle of mutual acquaintances, an envious person will not miss the opportunity to put you in the worst light. Having noticed at least a couple of these signs, you have every right to assume that your friend is jealous of you.

From husband to wife

Envy is possible even between spouses. Men have an extremely difficult time with it if a woman is more successful than them. And if this is a motivation for someone, then another will be jealous and angry.

This still manifests itself in the same way: by devaluing the wife’s successes, caustic jokes in the style of “A woman’s place is in the kitchen,” and an emphasis on defeat.

If you can simply say goodbye to someone who is not too close, then the marriage is still worth trying to save .

The wife's task is to talk to her husband, demonstrate her love to him and motivate him to achieve his own achievements. In marriage, people should be members of the same team, not competitors.

Is envy a bad feeling? How to get rid of envy?

We cannot get rid of other people's envy. Unfortunately, this does not depend on us. Although it is within our power to change our attitude to the situation. But you can and should fight your own envy. How? Of course, no one will give you a magic recipe, but regaining self-control and learning to manage your feelings is not so difficult.

Admit to yourself the fact of envy. As long as you lie to yourself that you “don’t give a damn and don’t care at all” about this other person’s car (wife, travel, wealth, talent, etc.), you will not be able to change the situation. By admitting to yourself, you become stronger and more sincere. And on top of everything else, you maintain your relationship with the object of envy.
Channel the energy of envy in the right direction. As soon as envy makes itself felt, stop and think about what you lack and what to do to achieve this goal.
Do some digging within yourself. Highlight your own strengths and advantages. Develop and improve what you already have the basis for. Remember that everyone is different. One “reveals” himself in his talent as a leader, another in the size of a yacht, a third in painting, etc. Achieve success in your field.
Remember that success doesn’t just happen to anyone on its own. Success is work, effort, the path to your goal. Luck is an extremely rare reason for success.
If you fail to achieve your goal, it means you are following the wrong path to it , or you have set the bar too high. Break one big task into several small steps.

And don’t forget to ask yourself the question: “ Do I even need what I envy so much?” "