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Svetlana Pavlikhina
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Psychologists warn that envy is a dangerous feeling. This condition can poison a person’s life, since you can often meet a luckier, more beautiful, healthier person who has achieved greater success.
As practice shows, anything can act as an object of envy: money, career, personal life. When compared with more successful individuals, a person experiences a feeling of inferiority, which negatively affects him. Every person should know how to stop envying other people's happiness and success.
How psychologists explain envy
The topic of envy is widely covered in psychology. Experts say that envy is dissatisfaction with other people's successes. Depending on the individual characteristics of a person, this feeling can be quite deep and strong, poisoning life from the inside.
This feeling arises if a friend gets a more handsome and financially secure fiancé, a neighbor bought an expensive sports car or a spacious apartment.
Many people unfairly underestimate the feeling of envy, but in fact, this vice can negatively affect character and relationships with others. That is why it is simply necessary to learn not to envy other people .
The main reasons for this feeling
Numerous studies have confirmed that people experience this specific feeling for the following reasons:
- Feeling deprived. If a person believes that he was deprived of parental attention or care in childhood, this will leave an imprint throughout his life. A wounded person perceives other people's goods as something that was taken away from him.
- Lack of goals, objectives and desires. A person who has nothing to strive for focuses on someone else's life. If an individual has nothing to do, he will poke his nose into other people’s affairs and in the future focus on what is happening. If a person does not live his life, does not want to change anything, he will certainly envy those around him.
- Biased self-esteem. Psychologists claim that envious people put themselves above others, consider themselves smarter, more talented and more worthy of the benefits that others receive.
Why do women envy
Many experts are of the opinion that female friendship does not exist. It is believed that every woman on a subconscious level is jealous of her close friends and sisters, because she perceives them as competitors.
It is envy that is the main cause of conflicts in women's groups, especially if there are beautiful girls in them. According to statistics, representatives of the fair sex experience feelings 2 times more often than men.
Why do men envy
Although the feeling of envy is more characteristic of females, some men periodically encounter this burning sensation. But, unlike women's, men's envy is weaker and short-lived.
The main reason for the condition is the innate need to be in charge, to have the best, the biggest, the most expensive.
How to protect yourself from envy
Unfortunately, it is not always possible to consider in time a person who is experiencing this feeling and can use it to harm. Very often he hides under the guise of a close friend or even a relative. But if there is a desire to protect yourself from negativity, then you should resort to the following proven methods:
- amulets and amulets;
- “closure of fears” (closing, fastening, closing something with the pronunciation of certain words);
- use of red items and accessories in clothing items;
- protection using mirrors;
- the power of good thoughts and prayers against envy.
All these methods are quite effective and simple if the person resorting to their help is kind, pure and sincerely believes in good things.
Typology of envy
Depending on the emotional coloring and depth of impact on a person, envy can be:
- Black . In this case, someone else's success prevents a person from living peacefully and is accompanied by the desire to destroy and destroy the existence of a successful object. People who experience this are not ambitious, content with minimal benefits, but believe that other people should not have anything that stands out. Their credo: “I don’t need anything, but let others have nothing either.” Personalities of this type of character will not fight for success and benefits.
- White . Psychologists classify it as a specific motivator. If a person experiences white envy and admires the skills, intelligence, and abilities of an acquaintance, he will try to achieve similar heights rather than remain inactive.
Envy can be:
- Vicious. An individual tries to get other people's benefits by destroying the life of another person.
- Not malicious. Lack of hostile feelings towards the object of envy;
- Depressed. A feeling of global injustice, deprivation, and actual worthlessness.
Recognizing an envious person
If a person is jealous, communicating with him is unpleasant and dangerous. There are often cases when such a person commits rash acts and does various dirty tricks in order to harm a successful competitor.
You can recognize an envious person by the following signs:
- False praise. An envious person often makes insincere compliments and pretends to be happy with the success of another. Recognizing hypocrisy will not be difficult, since hiding emotions for this type will be quite problematic.
- Belittling other people's success. If a person has reached heights on his own, this will be attributed to chance or coincidence.
- Flaunting your own successes.
- Imitation and copying of the object of envy. A person who is in the grip of feelings unconsciously tries to copy the style and demeanor of another.
- Spreading gossip behind your back.
- The envious person will point out that things are going much better for him.
- He tries to present the object of hatred from an impartial side in front of others.
If an acquaintance behaves in a similar way, it is wiser to simply stop communicating with them and not try to sort out the relationship.
How to learn not to envy - 5 guaranteed ways
The concept of envy is firmly rooted in society. It can influence people’s destinies, push them to commit various stupid things, and even significantly undermine their health. It is not for nothing that in Christianity envy is considered one of the deadly sins, since this feeling only brings destruction. And although it is extremely difficult to get rid of it, we will look at 5 ways to stop envying people, regardless of the situation or circumstances.
Is envy harmful?
How is envy dangerous for a person?
First of all, because this is an extremely corrosive feeling that simply interferes with living happily. Gradually, the feeling of envy will lead to depression and other “mental problems” and worries, turning life into constant suffering. Moreover, all this is completely without reason, since envy itself is just a reaction to some irritants, which are the cause. It is quite obvious that it is impossible to envy those who are worse off than you, those who are in poorer health, or those who have less income. It is the last point that is the most common reason for envy. Also among the potential objects of envy are:
- Position in society or popularity;
- Beauty and external data;
- The success of other people in their work or their hobbies;
- Other people's achievements (sports, science and other areas).
1 – change your attitude
When people turn to professional psychologists with the question of how to learn not to envy others, the very first answer is to change their life. To get rid of a corrosive feeling, you need to radically reconsider yourself, your views on the environment and, in fact, the objects of envy themselves. It often happens that, having understood the situation, what was bothering you yesterday will not even attract your attention today.
Also, this method will allow you to once and for all get rid of envy as a whole, and not in relation to one object. Simply put, awareness of your problem already half relieves you of it. Therefore, you should not blame everyone and everything, hiding behind this the usual feeling of envy; instead, it is better to reconsider your own life.
2 – find your strengths and advantages
What causes the feeling of envy? When we see things around us that we cannot afford. You can envy anything, from a huge fortune to the usual availability of free time. And yet, regardless of the reason, the situation always turns out to the detriment of the envious person. What adds to the absurdity is that the object of envy most often does not even suspect that it causes such feelings in other people. As a result, from a feeling of envy, a person destroys himself, while the rest of the world does not even notice it.
To break this vicious cycle, you need to find what you are good at. It is important to understand that it is impossible to be the best in everything; such people have never existed and do not exist now. The most famous athlete may not be able to cope with the school physics curriculum, and the best violinist in the country may be completely dependent. The only thing that unites such people is that they are good at one thing, but this in no way forces you to surpass them in this particular area.
Does your neighbor have a lot of money, work little and live as he pleases? But you can have a friendly family and wonderful children. Does anyone have a lot of friends? But you may have one, but one that costs “more” than a hundred. Don't try to imitate people in something that makes you jealous, instead find something that you are good at and perhaps soon you will be the one who is envied. Of course, this should not become motivation, but at least it can comfort those who are desperate in trying to overcome this feeling.
3 – keep yourself busy with what you like
According to statistics, envious people are usually people who are not focused on anything. Instead of finding something of their own, they try to look at what they do and how others live. How to get rid of feelings of envy in this case? Just find your favorite hobby and do what you like. If this activity brings you joy and positive emotions, then very soon you will forget about what envy is.
Therefore, without any excuses, organize a vacation for yourself this coming weekend, do something you’ve been planning for a long time, or go where you’ve wanted to go. You don’t have to immediately implement global goals, start small. Sometimes, a simple trip to nature, a walk in the forest or planting, or a fishing trip can get rid of any negative thoughts better than a specialized psychologist. Of course, if you yourself understand that you are envious and that this is far from the feeling on which you need to concentrate your attention, and life in general.
4 – don’t keep everything to yourself
This is probably the most universal way to get rid of most problems. It is extremely simple, you just need to talk out what is bothering you and the problem will immediately cease to be so serious. All people need support or even sympathy. However, this method does not always look like an intimate conversation with someone who evokes feelings of envy. Sometimes, this can be done in the form of a complement or even as a joke.
For example, if you communicate with a person who manages to work three jobs and, accordingly, has a good income, it is not necessary to develop a feeling of envy. Try to support him, praise him for the fact that he manages to do such a large amount of work. You can even find out how easy or difficult it is for him to cope with everything. Simply put, in this way you can destroy the feeling of envy that you yourself have “grown” in yourself. Perhaps, in reality, things are not at all as you pictured or imagined for a person.
5 – be inspired, don’t be jealous
In most cases, envy is fueled only by the inability to perceive other people's success. It is where some people find new strength in themselves, inspired by the example of others, that envious people will only make things worse for themselves, actively driving themselves into a state of depression. Therefore, try to perceive other people's successes as if these people were your relatives and friends.
For example, if you are envious of someone else’s achievement in sports, try not to become isolated, “feeding” envy, but turn this feeling into a weapon! Train harder and perhaps soon you will be able to not only repeat, but even surpass the result that previously made you feel envious. The same is true in any area of life. Instead of destroying yourself with this destructive feeling, try to turn it into a powerful motivator.
Finally, I would like to note that envy is a feeling that can arise in most people. It is completely natural and there is nothing strange about it. It is much more important to be able to cope with it, not allowing envy to develop to such a scale where it completely absorbs your entire life and leads to chronic depression.
How to overcome envy
It is important to remember that it will not be possible to overcome a negative feeling immediately; it will take at least 2 months. To free yourself from this feeling, a person needs to learn to constantly control thoughts and emotions, and stop comparing himself with others.
How not to envy others:
- It is necessary to perceive this feeling as motivation for further actions and self-improvement. Instead of dreams, you need to start directly realizing your desires.
- It is important to learn to appreciate your own benefits and virtues. A person needs to find advantages in his own appearance and focus on his advantages.
- It is strictly forbidden to make comparisons with friends, neighbors, and relatives. Experts assure that it is impossible to objectively evaluate the life of another person. The object of envy may be dissatisfied with certain aspects of his personal life.
- It is necessary to learn to objectively assess the situation.
- Envy needs to be turned into an advantage, a push towards a more successful future.
- To get rid of the oppressive feeling, you need to understand yourself, decide on your desires and goals. If a reference point is found, a person can strive for it, and what happens in someone else’s life will lose value.
- You need to appreciate what you have.
- You need to focus on your own talents and uniqueness.
Getting rid of envy will be long and difficult, but you cannot give up. If you cannot overcome the feeling on your own, a specialist will help correct the situation.
How to get rid of envy
If a feeling of envy has already overtaken a person, and he himself, understanding the unpleasantness of what is happening, wants to get rid of this negative feeling, he needs to include introspection and constant control in the scope of his personal activity:
- thoughts;
- emotions;
- negative desires.
The best article for you, go to: Strong protection against witchcraft, the evil eye and damage
As soon as the first signs of envy arise, you need to immediately look for the problem, figure out where these “roots of evil” come from. Next, it’s a good idea to engage in self-development and increase the productivity of your life. And most importantly, do not judge others by external signs, because very often outwardly prosperous individuals who cause this feeling are worthy of something else - understanding and sympathy.
Remember: the same financially secure people do not always have good health, a happy family, etc. So is it worth expressing anger at them and drowning in it yourself...
Often the curl can change and take on other forms, such as damage and the evil eye, and they are already the first cause of all sorts of illnesses and, sometimes, even death.
Damage from envy (“black damage”) and the evil eye carry enormous power, because they often come from a loved one and are aimed specifically at a negative influence. Both the person himself and his immediate environment suffer from them. The difficulty lies in the fact that such conditions cannot always be seen and understood on your own.
But if you still managed to do this, then you need to resort to certain actions (necessarily positive) in order to fix everything and gain calm and confidence.
There are many ways to get rid of the evil eye, envy and damage, but the most effective are still those that have been proven over the years, namely:
- amulets, talismans (pin, red thread, bag, bow, rowan bush, salt);
- rituals (locking action, mirrors);
- the power of thought and prayer.
But there is one condition: all these methods bring the desired result only if a person believes in them and carries out them with good intentions. Otherwise, the opposite will happen: the situation will worsen and become irreversible.
After all, each amulet against the evil eye and envy carries a semantic purpose, which means it is endowed with sufficient strength to cope with any negative manifestations. And if his actions are directed in the right direction, the result will not be long in coming.
The best article for you, go to: Reading off with prayers from damage in the church
How to protect yourself from the evil eye and envy? Despite its long history, this question increasingly visits many people in our time. But in fact, there is nothing complicated about this. You need to search, create, live... Remember good and forgive evil, saturate your consciousness with positive thoughts and show them to others through your actions, and simply give smiles and a good mood...
Oddly enough, but the whole beauty of life lies in being able to enjoy the little things. And when a person’s consciousness accepts this rule as a basis, all the doors will open before him, behind which such long-awaited and desired Happiness awaits. Give goodness, learn to feel, appreciate - and then life will find true meaning, and there is no room for envy and anger.
The Lord is always with you!
Watch a video on how to overcome feelings of envy:
Why you can't be jealous
It has been proven that envy is the primary source of constant depression and dissatisfaction. Prolonged stay in this state leads to negative consequences.
A person becomes disappointed in himself and has health problems.
At the initial stage, you may experience difficulty falling asleep and insomnia. Lack of proper rest leads to impaired blood flow and cardiac dysfunction, which negatively affects health and can provoke the occurrence of various diseases.
If a person is jealous, this condition will negatively affect the immune system, which is why the likelihood of infection and the development of physical pathologies will increase significantly. Doctors assure that envious people more often than others suffer from mental, emotional disorders, and emotional impotence.
Living your life is important
If you constantly monitor the events happening in the lives of others, the likelihood that a person will miss his chances increases. He will not be able to build a full-fledged relationship and career due to the fact that he will focus on what is happening around him.