There is no need to deceive me, I am happy to be deceived myself.”
How often do we hear this phrase? So often that it no longer hurts our ears and is even perceived as commonplace. Indeed, almost every day in our lives we encounter deception. He has many faces, knows how to disguise himself well, and even positions himself as a benefactor. What about honesty? What deep meaning does it carry within itself, or is it no longer held in high esteem in our lives? And the great words of the great poet immediately come to mind:
“It annoys me that the word honor is forgotten, and that in honor there are slander behind the back.” This is what Vysotsky said, and, undoubtedly, he was right in many ways.
Why should an HR specialist be open with employees?
A trusting atmosphere, first of all, motivates the employees themselves to communicate with an HR specialist. Let's look at the benefits of openness in a company.
Greater engagement
An atmosphere of openness makes you a kind of “friend at work” with whom you can honestly and frankly discuss current affairs and problematic work issues. This way, you are always aware of the mood of your employees, and the employees themselves receive the necessary support and are involved in the corporate life of the company: coffee breaks, informal meetings, communication in the company chat. On the other hand, they become more open in communications, more willing to accept constructive feedback and respond more quickly to important official information.
No feeling of a “stone in the bosom”
If in the workplace you clearly differentiate people into managers and subordinates, then be prepared for the fact that this may give rise to various rumors and misunderstandings. Without trusting communication with managers, employees often take a defensive position, perceive feedback more negatively, and generally feel unstable in the company. This feeling is especially relevant in times of crisis, when many companies are laying off staff. They are more likely to discuss and condemn management decisions because they are afraid to openly express their opinions for fear of being fired.
Therefore, official statements and general meetings should not be the only line of communication between the CEO, HR and the team. Discuss the company's goals, tell us what caused this or that decision, especially a drastic one. Only openness and dialogue can build safe and trusting relationships.
Increased employee productivity
It is obvious that an employee who is involved in the corporate culture of the company and can calmly express his point of view is more productive:
- he is more focused on the company's goals, because he understands their necessity;
- he has no time for conflicts, because in an atmosphere of openness they are quickly resolved;
- he can offer ideas and is not afraid to do so, because in his team there is only room for constructive criticism;
- he can honestly say that there are problems in his personal life or impending professional burnout and request a vacation in a timely manner, which will be approved without any problems;
- he does the tasks that he likes because he is not afraid to talk about it;
- he is more likely to learn because he can openly tell management about his desire to develop.
Such employees are more likely to achieve professional goals, and therefore business goals.
Sincerity and honesty – are they always so positive?
In childhood, people are brought up on good fairy tales, where honesty defeats lies, and the truthful Ivanushka fights the intriguer Koshchei. They talk about the power of sincerity in school, citing as examples sentimental stories from Russian and foreign literature. But the children are growing up. The world is getting cruel.
Sincerity is killed by indifference, and lies slip from the lips automatically. A person learns the subtle art of concealment, reticence, and deception for the benefit of humanity. Honesty, the unattainable height of morality, everything moves away and becomes an exorbitant feature, gaining value. Sounds sad.
But is the situation so bad? Are honesty and sincerity always positive?
Sincerity and Honesty: Differences
Such similar, but different concepts. What is the difference?
Honesty is the truthful reporting of factual information. Sincerity is the harmony of words, actions and internal feelings.
Imagine the situation. A young man cheated on his girlfriend. His former offended passion found out about the offense, quickly collected incriminating evidence and set off to ruin other people’s relationships, hiding behind good intentions.
She described the situation extremely honestly and in detail, showed a photo, and shared her story of separation. The girls cried and complained that all the men were... That’s where they parted.
The story is true, but what is the intent? It is likely that the good intentions hid not the salvation of the unfortunate girl, but revenge on the ex-boyfriend. There was no sincerity in the honest confession.
Often people are not aware of the reasons for their own behavior. When performing an act, they are guided by thoughts that contradict reality. Modern man is so mired in lies that he cannot admit to himself the true motives of his actions. This is how the mechanism of self-destruction starts.
Myths
Honesty and sincerity cause indescribable dissonance in people's minds. On the one hand, there is a reinforced concrete morality that glorifies the strength, significance and beauty of these qualities. On the other hand, there is pressure from the desire for a well-fed life, which contradicts honesty. From contradictions come extremes, and from extremes come myths.
Sincere = naive
Naivety is an almost despised quality among people. It is considered a sign of youth, inexperience, immaturity. A naive person is pure; he has not yet had time to plunge into the abyss of injustice and cruelty. He is open, he doesn’t need lies “for the good” yet. Such characters appear often. But among sincere people there are those who came to this consciously, refusing self-deception.
The world's lies begin with lying to oneself. It brings the inner world into dissonance. Establishing an honest dialogue with your inner self is the first step towards openness to the world. To do this, it is not necessary to turn a blind eye to injustice, deception, human vices, or forget human sins and insidious nature. Awareness of this does not go away with the advent of harmony. It is the attitude that changes, not the vision.
Honesty is the quality of fools
There is no benefit to telling the truth. The world pays for lying. 80% of money is concentrated in the hands of 20% of skilled liars. The more honest a person is, the less likely he is to take an advantageous position in society.
According to popular belief, such a person is a fool. But the chosen lifestyle does not depend on mental abilities, intelligence, or education.
Are Buddhist lamas, Indian hermit sages and other ascetics stupid?
Honesty is always virtuous
The truth is used by people for gain. An honest story about a competitor is nothing more than a trick and an attempt to hide one’s own sins. Sometimes the truth is harsh and destructive.
A fundamentally honest person does not calculate the gravity of the words spoken, bringing down a waterfall of troubles on the head of the listener. He doesn't care what consequences the truth will lead to. He doesn't care about other people's feelings.
He is honest because this is the basis of morality and ethics, hammered into his head with the iron staples of upbringing. In this case, there is no question of virtue.
The benefits of honesty and sincerity
Despite the suspicious attitude towards honesty and openness on the part of people, it has its advantages.
To be youreself
An honest person does not need masks. He doesn't play, he lives. Yes, such people do not move in high circles, do not make a fortune, do not build a magnificent career. They find a place where their work is needed without deception and pretense. They start a family, children and go to happiness in a way accessible to them, causing the envy of others.
Way to stand out
An honest person is a rarity. There are millions of beauties on earth, hundreds of thousands of owners of cool cars, thousands of owners of luxurious penthouses and castles, but only a few honest people.
Positive attitude towards the world
Sincerity and honesty are a way of life. When these two qualities are combined in one person, a harmonious personality is born. Inner peace leads to contentment and a positive outlook on life.
Psychological health
Lies are the main cause of neuroses. The more often a person tells lies, the more afraid he is of exposure. He constantly monitors himself, checks, verifies, suspects. It seems to him that the lie has already been revealed, that those around him are laughing behind his back at the shameful truth. An honest person is insured against such disorders, he does not suffer from suspicion, does not check every step and enjoys life.
Disadvantages of Honesty and Sincerity
Honesty had fewer negative sides:
Honest people are more often deceived
This pattern affects the young and inexperienced. Deceived boys and girls lose their openness over time. Someone else's lies awaken resistance. At the subconscious level, an attitude is formed: honesty is the cause of problems.
A deceived person withdraws into himself, becomes closed, learns to lie. Society gets another bearer of lies “for the good.”
A sincere person is easier to offend
Sincerity goes along with openness. Such people let others get too close. The blow received brings pain and suffering.
This is a common scenario for first love, when the youthful psyche is not ready for such shocks. The result is tears, depression, withdrawal from studies/sports/hobbies.
In most cases, sincerity disappears along with the first feelings. This scenario is not uncommon both in family and friendships.
Honesty is a burden for the strong
It is difficult for an open, honest and sincere person to look at human cruelty, deceit and rudeness. Soft people have the hardest time. They are easier to put pressure on and easier to use. They get lost under the pressure of rudeness and worry about injustice. They break under the pressure of social mores.
When is honesty important?
Truth, concealment or lies are difficult choices. The modern world is an egocentric universe. What kind of creature is this incomprehensible? An egocentric is a person who depends on the opinions of others. He builds a pattern of behavior in order to appear significant in the eyes of other people. This is an actor. He puts on his face the mask of a happy family man, a person satisfied with life, a respectable citizen.
The main rule: control. An egocentric person monitors words and actions and carefully measures the details of the image. He controls the smooth course of a fictional story, whether it is made up or embellished. There are more than 70% of such people in the world. Those who did not learn the rules of the game in childhood learn from their own mistakes in adolescence. This model is generally accepted, fixed and approved for the convenience of all.
But is she really that good?
Honesty in love
Sincere first love remains a painful memory in the past. After a series of trial and errors, a person chooses a partner.
He does everything to please, attract attention, show his best side - he plays a role, dooming the relationship to failure. And why? No sincerity. Maintaining a mask during close contact will not work for long.
It will subside at the first difficulties. A common situation: she married one person and divorced another person.
Concealment causes quarrels. Egocentric fear prevents you from talking about personal and secret things, from admitting a problem, and leads to unexpected conflicts.
A man, forced to play the role of a strong shoulder and a stone wall, is unlikely to admit that he dreams of feminine, almost maternal affection and tenderness. A young girl also never admits to complexes that interfere with relationships.
But sometimes it’s enough to talk, talk about desires or problems in order to avoid quarrels and misunderstandings.
Imagine Masha, who since childhood has been embarrassed by her contrived fatness. Her husband is pleased with his wife’s figure, but she stubbornly wears baggy clothes, behind which she hides imaginary folds. She closes herself off during lovemaking and goes on diets.
Masha is hurt when her husband looks around at the stylish, beautiful women, wanting to pull off his wife’s next robe. Instead of talking, young spouses live alone with their desires and experiences, accumulating fears and dissatisfaction.
The marriage is approaching breakdown.
Sincerity and family ties
Deception begins from childhood. Parents love to lie, justifiably or not. Children seem small and stupid, but they copy the behavior of adults. From them the child learns what a lie is and carries it into life.
Immediate impulses: joy, laughter, fun, tears are interrupted by adult instructions about the inappropriateness of emotions. Having realized that the behavior is unpleasant for adults, children change tactics.
They strive to be liked, to receive the love and approval of adults, and from childhood they lose sincerity and forget about honesty.
The usual family drama. Little Vitalik has felt since childhood that his mother is unhappy with him. Whatever he does, he receives lectures and scolding in response. Vitalik knows one thing: his mother likes it when he recites poetry in public.
Realizing this, he begins to use knowledge to achieve the love of his neighbor. He doesn't like poetry, and he doesn't like his mother's friends. When Vitalik grows up, poetry will be replaced by A's in mathematics, and then by the physics department at a state university.
The boy dreamed of becoming an artist, but all his life he would hide his “I” and lie to others for the sake of approving smiles.
Honesty and business connections
The choice of profession determines how honest a person can be. In this area of life, sincerity is clearly regulated and driven into boundaries and norms.
The higher a person rises, the less openness he allows himself. Business relationships create distance and limit the range of issues discussed.
Imagine honest Vasya, who at a meeting decided to tell the investor that his company’s project is a scam and not worth the money. Openly, boldly, decisively. And so the unemployed daredevil moves to live with his mother. The career has been sealed.
It’s hard for honest people in the world of sales and advertising. Openness is the enemy of managers. Doctors, teachers, investigators, accountants - society sets limits for everyone.
Honesty and sincerity are positive in dosed form. Openness is the gift of close relationships. But it is achieved only by being honest with yourself. Is it worth fighting against egocentrism and lies? Yes! But extremes in this matter do not lead to good.
Source: //sunmag.me/sovety/30-01-2014-iskrennost-i-chestnost-vsegda-li-tak-polozhitelny.html
How to become an HR person with whom you are not afraid to speak openly
An atmosphere of trust is not built in one day or with the help of a couple of life hacks. It is important for employees to have a positive experience of communication with their HR at all times. How can this be implemented?
1. Make open communication the No. 1 point in your company policy. This does not mean that employees should immediately send you a request for a 1:1 or invite you for coffee
