There are no people who do not feel jealous. It is, in fact, a natural emotional response to different life situations. Jealousy becomes an unhealthy feeling that has a destructive effect on the individual when it takes on extreme forms. classifications of manifestations of jealousy , but if we talk about the problem in a broad sense, then jealousy can be divided into groundless and justified.
When mistrust becomes a pathology
Justified jealousy is often a consequence of difficulties in relationships and does not arise out of nowhere. It is not a reason for concern regarding the adequacy of a person, unless problems of upbringing and personality traits are identified.
Pathological jealousy is a sign of mental illness, a deviation from the norm. It is also called delusions of jealousy or Othello syndrome. The reasons lie in the person’s very personality, in his internal conflicts and complexes. This problem can develop against the background of other mental disorders, including alcoholism, drug addiction and problems in the sexual sphere. Both men and women can suffer from delusions of jealousy.
If passion becomes suffering
Signs of male pathology:
- Unfounded accusations of betrayal, the inability to convince a person that these are just fantasies.
- Manic jealousy of a partner's past.
- He is aggressive towards the object of jealousy and the supposed competitor.
- Strict control, restriction of a woman’s freedom.
- Surveillance.
- Violence - both physical and mental.
A woman should be wary of pathological jealousy in men, the signs of which appear in a depressed state. A man can become irritable and aggressive. He constantly talks about infidelity, deception, deceit, scandalizes and humiliates the woman, beats her. In addition to the psychological prerequisites, which will be discussed below, the explanation for this kind of behavior lies in the formation of a culture of relations between the sexes since ancient times.
There was no method for determining paternity until recently. Only total control on the part of a man could be a certain guarantee of a partner’s fidelity. Thus, it turns out that the primitive fear of being deceived breaks the human psyche to this day. There was also a stereotype that girls are emotional creatures, they put feelings above all else, they can be easily seduced , so it is necessary to minimize their external contacts. Restrictions on women's freedom have been practiced in many cultures and countries. That is, owner complexes come from the distant past.
You should always remember that it is not the strong person who prohibits and psychologically suppresses, but the weak one. Such a man painfully seeks attention from a woman and is jealous of her not only of other men, but also of her girlfriends, hobbies, even of her own children.
If delusions of jealousy are detected in men, then treatment should be carried out by a doctor. This is a disease that can bring a tragic end to a relationship, and you need to be aware of this. Living with a jealous person becomes really dangerous for health and life. And also the above symptoms may indicate that a person has schizophrenia, and this is a direct indication for visiting a medical facility.
In general, it is precisely with the presence of emotional disorders , especially with paranoid disorders, that pathological jealousy in men is mainly associated. Treatment in this case should be prescribed by a competent specialist who will find out the cause and choose the appropriate therapy.
Drinking and fear of separation
Oddly enough, according to statistics, the percentage of pathological jealous people among women is very low. In many cases, morbid jealousy in women is caused by drinking. In the non-drinking category, the psychological factor is a paranoid fear of separation.
Signs of pathology in women:
- Surveillance, checking personal belongings, phone contacts, correspondence.
- Refusal of intimacy.
- Hysterics.
- Insomnia, depression.
- Thirst for revenge.
These women also need to be treated. This kind of deviation can lead to suicide and to the implementation of inventive revenge. There are interesting features of this disease in women. For example, in no case should you convince a woman of your crystal honesty towards her. The man will get the completely opposite effect. The pathological jealous person will strengthen her suspicions even more. The physiological aspect also has an impact on the potential development of the disease. Women who are in menopause are more likely to suffer from delusions of jealousy.
It is an absolute fact that a pathological jealous person poisons the life of his partner. Due to incessant stress, his companion may develop dependence on antidepressants, alcohol, and narcotic substances. It happens that in this vicious circle, the victim has outbursts of aggression and violence as a defense.
Pathological jealous people also suffer from their emotional manifestations and tend to drown out jealousy with food , smoking, and alcohol. They tend to go to extremes, they either overwhelm themselves with work, or stop doing anything at all, for example, they can sleep for days on end.
What is pathological jealousy: signs
The peculiarity of hypertrophied abnormal jealousy is such that the jealous person suspects without having evidence, and suffers for no reason. His experiences are obsessive, overwhelming and irrational. Jealousy completely takes over a person’s thinking and gives no peace day or night. Modern Othello is jealous, not understanding the reasons for his experiences. Jealousy does not allow the subject to control his behavior. A person gripped by this feeling commits stupid, reckless acts, not realizing the consequences of his actions. At the same time, a person’s behavior often creates a crisis in relationships, causes serious problems and causes inconvenience not only to other people, but also harms him.
Othello syndrome is a common term for jealousy in popular literature. This name is usually used to denote jealousy that has crossed the boundaries of normal feelings about one’s other half. However, pathological jealousy rarely acts as an independent symptom; it is often accompanied by delusional ideas, obsessive thoughts and an antisocial behavior pattern.
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A typical sign of abnormal jealousy is the appearance of delusional components in thinking. The mistrust and suspicions of a sick person are devoid of any logic or basis. He cannot find a single argument that proves his half is unfaithful. At the same time, a person consciously makes efforts and spends time to find arguments confirming the betrayal of his life partner.
He becomes a detective, trying to find evidence of his husband's infidelity. A jealous person inspects his pockets, checks messages on his phone, and brazenly accesses his partner’s social networking pages. Some subjects suffering from pathological jealousy arrange real surveillance of their beloved. They accompany him to the office and meet him from work, and check the location of the companion during the working day.
Such individuals do not even allow the thought that their other half may have their own personal interests and needs. It is incomprehensible and strange for them that their husband has parents, friends, is passionate about sports and loves theaters. At the same time, the slightest absence without warning is regarded as an act of treason. The jealous person arranges a real interrogation of the “offending” person, not disdaining obscene language and sometimes going as far as assault.
Othello does not allow either flirting or coquetry, and he interprets other people’s glances at his partner as a deliberate conspiracy and conscious betrayal of the chosen one. A jealous person can install listening equipment in the house or equip the apartment with a video surveillance system, intending to uncover and expose extramarital affairs. Some people go to extremes: they use threats, blackmail, violence, trying to hear a sincere confession from their partner.
The delusional ideas that arise in a jealous person are very diverse, bright and fantastic. A jealous person may suspect that his companion is deliberately adding drugs to his food that impair potency, or even deliberately adding toxic substances to his food in order to poison him. Some people are convinced that their partner is cheating while they are sleeping. Therefore, they make an effort to stay awake at night and keep an eye on their chosen one.
Another sign of delusional jealousy is groundlessness and causelessness. It should be emphasized that pathological jealousy arises only out of the blue: the appearance of this obsessive feeling can be served by very dubious, and often completely erroneous, evidence of infidelity. This symptom distinguishes this pathological experience from the normal feelings of a person, when he is jealous only if there are convincing arguments confirming the fact of betrayal. At the same time, a healthy, adequate subject changes his point of view if it turns out that the information provided turned out to be false information.
A characteristic sign that jealousy has turned from feeling into pathology is obsession. Ideas about dishonesty and betrayal of a partner do not allow the subject to think about anything else. Horrible pictures appear in his head, colorfully describing the details of his partner’s betrayal. The obsessive idea of the infidelity of a life partner does not leave the sick subject even at night. His dreams entirely reflect his emotional experiences.
A sign indicating that pathological jealousy has reached the proportions of a psychotic state is the inadequacy of the person. An individual is capable of any illegal actions. A self-imposed attitude that the chosen one is dating another gentleman can lead to the jealous person thinking through plans to punish his opponent. He can plot against him, organize his beatings, damage his property, and in extreme cases, order his murder or decide to commit such a crime himself.
Thoughts about a spouse’s infidelity are provocateurs of anger, conflict, aggressive behavior and instigators of physical violence. Very often, a pathological jealous person is convinced that his chosen one provokes other people: she flirts with them, smiles sweetly, makes eyes at them. In such a situation, Othello may decide to punish the “unfaithful” lady. And since he is incinerated by the desire to be the only “master” of his companion, without whom he simply cannot live, the jealous man decides to cripple her so that the chosen one, confined to a wheelchair, cannot even think about other men.
A jealous person is often accompanied by suicidal ideas. Thoughts about suicide arise in a jealous person because he experiences a debilitating sense of guilt and remorse for aggressive actions towards his chosen one. The inability to eliminate one's obsessive experiences and change behavior pushes a person to take his own life.
Pathological jealousy poses a serious danger to the physical and mental health of children raised in a jealous family. Such children often witness scandals and beatings. There are often cases when children themselves received unintentional injuries during such showdowns. A jealous person may also force their child to spy on the other parent. The result of this abnormal period of growing up is various psychological problems and mental disorders in children.
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The root is in genes or family
Experts do not have a clear answer to the question of what is the cause of this disorder. Scientists talk about the possibility of a hereditary factor. These can be genetic diseases, manifesting themselves, for example, in brain pathologies. And also with a high degree of probability, the cause can be considered some psychological factors, the atmosphere in the family, the relationship of the parents. If a child has seen mistrust and disrespectful relationships between mother and father since childhood, or witnessed infidelity, then there is a possibility of a similar scenario repeating in his adult life.
The risk of delusions of jealousy in alcoholics, drug addicts, and people constantly under stress is quite high. A highly sensitive, hyper-emotional, insecure person may well be a potential Othello . A society with patriarchal values, where women are given a secondary role, can also be a catalyst for this problem.
Against the background of mental disorders, delusions of jealousy progress very quickly. In the case of individuals who suffer from various addictions, this happens in stages. For example, pathological jealousy, which arises from constant alcohol consumption, first appears only when the person is drunk. Then this begins to happen regardless of whether the person is sober or not.
It was not by chance that the conversation about alcoholic delirium of jealousy came up. After all, alcohol is a powerful psychoactive substance, very accessible and widespread everywhere. Alcohol addiction leads to organic brain damage , and against this background paranoid personality disorders appear. Regularly drinking alcohol, a person degrades, it becomes difficult to contact him or conduct a dialogue. Sexual dysfunction is also a consequence of alcohol abuse. If we summarize these factors, there are more than enough prerequisites for the development of pathology.
It is possible to distinguish chronic and acute forms of pathological jealousy against the background of alcohol dependence. Alcohol intoxication manifests itself in a chronic form. During this period, a person behaves very aggressively, causing scandals, often using physical force. He may begin to “play detective” - conduct surveillance, carry out searches. The obsessive idea of a partner’s deception and infidelity pushes him to take inappropriate actions in order to prove that he is right.
During a hangover, delusions of jealousy in a person manifest themselves in acute form. For people who often drink low-quality alcohol in large quantities, this occurs approximately on the third day after stopping drinking strong drinks. The patient suffers from hallucinations, becomes uncontrollable, unpredictable , and, as a result, dangerous. Considering that aggression is a completely natural thing in alcoholism, identifying pathological jealousy can be difficult. This carries a considerable threat, since a pathological jealous person may not voice his claims until the last moment. In such a situation, the conflict reaches a critical point and in some cases has dire consequences.
A characteristic symptom in the medical history of “Othello the Alcoholic” is that in his fantasies the rival is always not an invented character, but a real person.
Delirium of jealousy ↑
A special manifestation in the course of painful jealousy is the delusion of jealousy - an irrational and illogical (delusional) idea of \u200b\u200bthe partner’s infidelity. This condition is combined with particular suspicion.
A jealous individual comes up with ideas of a conspiracy against him:
- poisoning from the object of jealousy is expected;
- concerns about the impact on potency (something is added to food or drinks to reduce it);
- it is imagined that the partner makes love with third parties while the jealous person is sleeping;
- fears of contracting sexually transmitted diseases from a partner due to third parties.
Delusions about a partner's infidelity may be an indicator of the initial stages of a more serious illness - schizophrenia. Here the symptoms of jealousy appear in their “pure” form. They are logically, harmoniously and consistently argued from the point of view of the sick person, although they look more or less justified to others.
Even memories in this situation are revised: confirming “facts” from the past are found, and the jealous person’s eyes “open.” Affective disorders and depressive states with thoughts of inferiority and suicide are also observed.
In general, the content of delusions of jealousy has the following indicators:
- authenticity (belonging to the subject himself) of thoughts;
- egosyntonicity (setting one’s own standards – in thoughts and logic);
- the truth of views and conclusions;
- lack of internal resistance to delusional ideas.
The disease needs to be treated
If symptoms of this disorder appear, it is not recommended to postpone a visit to a specialist. You should not hope that a person will change and difficult times will pass. You should immediately seek help from a psychotherapist. In the vast majority of cases associated with this disease, situations arise when the behavior of a person suffering from delusions of jealousy threatens the safety of others.
The most noticeable effect of treatment occurs when Othello syndrome is identified at an early stage. Treatment is comprehensive and aimed directly at treating mental illness and reducing the threat of acts of violence. To get rid of the disease, treatment is used with drugs such as antipsychotics and antidepressants . Pills alone are not enough for a cure; it is very important to involve a psychologist specializing in the problems of family relationships in resolving the issue.
Many people faced with this problem wonder whether it is possible to cope with the disease on their own. Without a correct diagnosis by a specialist and without medical treatment, there is little chance of coping with the disease. However, psychologists suggest the following tactics to control your thoughts and emotions:
- You shouldn't compare with others. There will always be someone more successful, more beautiful, more resourceful. People love simply for the kind of person they are, and in this context it is absolutely pointless to meet any standards, parameters, or conditions. There is no need to go into the plane of “market relations”. Love is something completely different.
- You need to try to maintain balance in relationships. Treat your partner with respect. Control your behavior and not be promiscuous. Aggressive manifestations (quarrels, provocations, mistrust) reduce all feelings to nothing.
- Don't imagine negative scenarios. You need to restrain your imagination. A nice conversation or a delay at work does not mean that the relationship is at risk.
A person himself has the power to reduce psychological stress. The main thing is to have the desire and act. Invaluable benefits will come from relaxing treatments, conversations with friends, playing sports, walking and playing in the fresh air, visiting theaters, concerts and exhibitions.
People who have low self-esteem are jealous, hence anxiety, fear of loneliness, and pessimism. For the purpose of prevention, experts recommend not asking about your partner’s former relationships, not comparing current relationships with past ones, and not living in anticipation of an obligatory betrayal.
Partners of pathological jealous people, according to psychologists, should not behave defiantly, provoke mistrust and play on feelings. You should not skimp on praise and encourage your loved one verbally at every opportunity. You need to show affection and care towards your partner. All this reduces tension and has a calming effect. It is necessary to establish the most trusting relationships, not to deceive, and to keep promises. A prerequisite for establishing contact with a partner must be mutual respect. Naturally, psychological pressure and assault are excluded.
Long road to healing
Unfortunately, this disease is insidious in nature and can take many years to manifest itself. Long-term therapy and the involvement of partners in the treatment process can be a serious claim to success.
Through common efforts, you will be able to recover if you talk to your partner and be able to hear him. It is necessary to understand what motivates a person, what is the main reason for such behavior. After all, behind all this is the need to be loved. A loving person will definitely do everything in his power to maintain the relationship.
