How can you become a charismatic person? Review - Tips + Video


Psychology

30 November 2020, 04:36

  • Qualities of a charismatic personality
  • What to do?
  • Exercises
  • Important little things

Charisma is a quality that not every person has. Such people know how to express themselves in society, win the hearts of others, and make sure they are remembered. Thanks to their skills, they often occupy leadership positions , and successfully cope with their responsibilities. Today we will tell you how to become a charismatic person, what qualities you need to develop in yourself for this.

What is charisma

The word "charisma" comes from the Greek language. Means a gift from the gods or an anointing. This is a complex of personal qualities and abilities that make a person stand out from others. Those around them evaluate them as talent and giftedness.

Charisma is associated with charm. A charismatic person easily influences those around him. His charm magically subjugates him, giving him every chance to take the place of leader.

In Christianity, charisma is considered a gift from God. Despite this, not every person has it. Most often this is the result of hard work on yourself and your personality. For clarity, remember Steve Jobs. According to eyewitnesses, one could fall asleep at his first performances. But later lectures touched the heart of every person, made them think and reconsider their views on life. All this is the result of painstaking work.

A charismatic personality has 3 distinctive features. First of all, it is emotional intelligence. Very often emotions rule human life. They are responsible for affection, behavior, motivation. A person endowed with charisma easily copes with his emotions, he knows how to manage them. It will not be difficult for him to express feelings for individual people or, conversely, to suppress them if the situation requires it.

Charismatic people are true empaths. They easily understand how the other person feels. We can say that they are on the same wavelength with him and create an emotional connection.

The second feature is the ability to convey your thoughts to others. A charismatic person is always a good speaker. How does he get attention?

  1. Using metaphors. They not only make speech easier. Their main task is to evoke emotions in the listener, thus consolidating the information in memory.
  2. Telling jokes and life stories. They bring the story to life.
  3. They fill their words with deep meaning, which instills trust and sympathy among their interlocutors.
  4. Understand feelings by forming an emotional connection.
  5. They make speech bright and contrasting. This makes it easier for listeners to pick out the essence.
  6. They ask rhetorical questions.

Gaze, body position, facial expressions, and diction also play an important role. During a speech, a charismatic person will never stand like a statue. He presents information in different forms, supplementing it with gestures or, for example, changing intonation.

And finally, the third quality of a charismatic personality is self-confidence. Such people are always confident in themselves and their abilities, and have high self-esteem. They easily achieve success in any area of ​​life. This encourages others to believe their words and follow them.

Key Components of Charisma

Of course, it is quite difficult to create an exhaustive list of charismatic personality traits. For two reasons: firstly, we are all individuals, and secondly, each follower of a charismatic leader may value completely different qualities in him.

However, we can try to highlight some key general characteristics:

  • Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions,
  • Sincerity and empathy for other people,
  • The ability to build self-confidence in other people,
  • Oratory skills
  • Self-presentation skills,
  • Strong-willed qualities, including strong willpower,
  • Leadership skills,
  • The ability to attract and hold the attention of others
  • Determination
  • Sense of humor,
  • Optimism and positive attitude towards life,
  • Charm,
  • Self confidence.

Many books have been written on each of the above qualities, dozens of trainings have been created, so developing them separately is not difficult.

I will give a few exercises with which you can begin to develop charisma in men and women.

Types of Charisma

There are only four of them:

  1. Authoritative charisma. A charismatic person encourages others to change through their behavior. He becomes a role model for them, an idol.
  2. Kindness. People with this type of charisma give a feeling of complete security. It's warm and cozy to be around them. They are ready not only to listen, but also to give their interlocutor a piece of their soul.
  3. Visionary charisma. Helps others believe in their strengths or talents. Assures that nothing is impossible.
  4. Focus. Such charisma also imparts self-confidence. Its owner often hides his true nature so that people around him can see his beauty. He concentrates his attention on the interlocutor, listens to him with interest, and sincerely tries to help.

It is rare, but there are people who combine all four types of charisma. If you are not one of them, there is something to strive for.

General Tips

As has already been said, anyone can acquire charisma if they wish. When setting a course for achieving success, you should use the following recommendations from social psychologists:

  1. Support others. What is the difference between weak-willed and envious people? Because they mercilessly criticize the more successful, and also instill uncertainty in those who are trying to change their lives for the better. Charismatic and strong natures are different. They do not skimp on compliments, provide support, and encourage you in difficult times.
  2. Don't try to please everyone. There is no need to look for approval on the side and pay attention to spiteful critics. Anyone who has managed to cultivate charisma in himself does not need to be liked by everyone. As they say, you won't be nice to everyone.
  3. Don't let yourself be offended. A charismatic leader will not allow himself to be insulted and will never follow the lead of the crowd. It is not in his principles to cowardly agree to other people's demands.
  4. Set goals for yourself. It is necessary to throw all your strength into realizing what you have planned, and not to float weakly with the flow, thinking that everything will fall from heaven on its own.
  5. Be extraordinary. A person who is not thirsty for adventure and does not take risks is boring, which means he will not be able to surprise others.
  6. Replenish your knowledge base. To maintain a conversation on any topic, you need to constantly expand your horizons. Books, newspapers, and visiting exhibitions and museums will help you cope with this task.
  7. Be a good listener. How to please your interlocutor? You need to listen to him carefully, periodically asking questions and showing interest in his life.
  8. Be sincere. In the modern world of hypocrisy and falsehood, people are subconsciously drawn to those who are open and do not wear a mask.

Although “charisma” is translated from ancient Greek as “God’s gift,” this set of personal characteristics is not innate. Since it is associated with internal psychological qualities and external, behavioral skills, a person can and should train it.

Sources of charisma: 10 components

It is difficult to say with 100% accuracy what a charismatic person looks like. But we can highlight a number of its inherent qualities:

  • the art of persuasion;
  • the ability to pass through the feelings of the interlocutor;
  • the ability to become an example for others;
  • speaking skills;
  • the ability to show oneself in a favorable light;
  • strength of will;
  • the ability to always be among the leaders;
  • ability to hold the attention of even a large number of people;
  • goal setting skills;
  • sense of humor.

The list of components of charisma includes the ability to be positive in all situations. Have you ever seen charismatic people constantly exuding negative emotions? Surely not. On the contrary, they are always in a good mood, joyful and friendly. They love themselves, and those around them love them.

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How to develop charisma in a man

The question of the development of male charisma worries many representatives of the stronger sex. What guy or man doesn’t want to always be the center of attention or a role model? This is not difficult to achieve. You need to do five simple exercises regularly.

Large mirror

You should look at yourself from the outside. It is advisable that the mirror be large so that you can see yourself completely. Imagine that you are speaking in front of a large audience. Watch how you behave. Pay attention to diction, facial expressions, gestures and even the topic of speech. Find errors. Try to correct them in your next performance. It is recommended to spend 15-25 minutes on this exercise every day.

Smart Goals

Master the science of goal setting. They must be clear and specific. Don't build castles in the air. Think about your desires, reconsider your goals and priorities. Only then make an action plan.

If problems arise in the process of setting goals, use SMART technology. According to it, the goal must be specific, realistically achievable, meaningful to you, measurable, with specific deadlines for implementation.

Oratory

Another way to develop charisma in a man. Essentially similar to the first exercise. Helps you speak clearly, meaningfully, and convincingly. The main condition is regular exercise. If possible, you can take public speaking lessons.

Find audio or video recordings of the speech of a charismatic person in your opinion. Listen to them carefully. Then read the text. Repeat it. Film the process on camera. Watch the video, find flaws, work on mistakes. And so on until you achieve the desired result.

Increase your self-confidence

There is no such thing as an insecure charismatic person. Confident does not mean very active and talkative. Doesn't mean he's ahead everywhere. Not at all. A person may be quite unsociable and silent, but still confident.

self confidence

Read the detailed article: How to become successful and self-confident.

Because a confident person knows his strengths and weaknesses. He does not worry about this. He can easily admit that he is wrong, because it will not upset him at all.

A self-confident person always knows that he can easily correct this in himself and this is not a problem.

A confident person is one who does not depend on the opinions of others and the opinions of others will not unsettle him.

What is confidence formed from? First of all, confidence is formed with experience. You can’t just take it and become confident. It doesn’t work that way.

How to develop charisma for a woman

The above exercises for developing charisma can be performed by representatives of both sexes. But girls, young women and women need to work on other aspects too.

Beautiful posture

Surely many remember the simplest exercise for posture. You need to put a heavy book on your head. And then, trying not to drop it, walk around the room with it. The gait should be as natural and easy as possible. Training time is 7-10 minutes. Together with competent speech, correct gestures and facial expressions, posture will help create the image of a charismatic person.

Cheerful morning

The first hours after waking up determine what the day will be like. If they are filled with positivity, then it will also pass easily. So give yourself a boost of energy in the morning. Enjoy your time. Do some simple exercises, do yoga or fitness. You can read an interesting book or go for a run. Do this even on weekends.

Man in the hall

Like men, women are often afraid of public speaking. There are a couple of effective ways to get rid of this fear and develop charisma:

  1. During your speech, look around the room and find the person who seems most interested in what you are saying. Pretend that you are addressing him specifically. Tell this person everything you want to say.
  2. Practice at home in front of the mirror. This will help you see errors and work on them.

And, of course, listen to the speeches of people who are an example for you.

A true friend

Typically, women have the charisma of kindness and visionary. They easily win over their interlocutor and find a common language with everyone. This is a big advantage. Develop these skills. Look at the person as a close friend. Treat him with genuine interest, kindness and friendliness.

The Iron Lady

This is not about becoming an impregnable snow queen from a fairy tale. A charismatic personality has iron willpower. Let's say you've been putting off completing a task for a long time. Add it to your plan for tomorrow. Do this even if you really don’t want to do it. Don't even think about backing down. And so in all areas of life.

Keys to happiness: how to discover charisma in yourself?

Every person, in his natural zeal, strives to always be treated with due understanding. And what to do if the level of charisma is not enough for this, how to increase it? Try to complete each of the following steps:

Remember names. A good word, as they say, is pleasant for a cat, let alone people. A name is a kind of personal identification that fuels the “ego”, one of the main features of individuality and, no matter how banal it may sound, the main word of life and destiny. After all, when a namesake is called, very often a person instinctively turns around, looking for the source of the call, so calling by name is a trump card for building favorable communication.
Be involved, interested, witty. Due to the fact that any person is no stranger to selfishness to one degree or another, he is very “amused” when people show concern for him. Literally, the sense of self-importance grows by leaps and bounds; a person begins to seem to correspond to the ideas about his own “I”. By showing interest in others, their feelings, emotions, etc., you can “buy” sympathy and respect. It is important to use self-irony, humor and subtle teasing, but without excess.
Learn to listen. Charisma includes not only attracting attention through beautiful speech and the ability to express thoughts so that they catch your every word. Sometimes this is a game of being an impartial listener who does not judge, lecture, or impose comments, but, first of all, understands, inspires and supports.
Show intent wisely. To acquire charisma means to some extent to become an artist and an inventor in order, depending on the circumstances, to show the attitude towards others as needed. Make people feel unique, always be an equal, and learn to give kind, unpretentious compliments.
Be selfless. The ability to give without the desire to receive something in return, to gain specific benefits, is a rare quality in our time. Try to help people more often, completely sincerely, being happy for them and yourself.
Master the mirroring technique. Such exercises are based on establishing complete mutual understanding with the interlocutor by copying his postures, facial expressions and gestures, as well as achieving a common psycho-emotional state. It sounds strange, but practice shows that such behavior becomes the key to gaining trust and a positive attitude.
Be friendly and improve your body language. Sometimes things that we are used to not paying attention to and letting take their course can help improve relationships with people: appearance, posture, facial expression, organic gestures, the ability to look your interlocutor in the eyes. Force yourself to pump up your body with a test: straight back, slightly raised head up, removing the mask of excessive seriousness and a slight smile - and you will notice real miracles of impact on society.

The best books on developing charisma

The authors of such works gained popularity due to their incredible charisma. They have each achieved success in their field and can boast of recognition in society. There are several examples:

  1. "Lead People" by David Novak. Do you think a non-charismatic person could successfully train others and lead more than a million employees? Hardly. He shares secrets on how to develop charisma for women and men in his book. You will learn how to gain the trust of your interlocutor, inspire him to take some action, stimulate him to grow, and charge him with enthusiasm.
  2. "Charisma. How to influence, convince, inspire.” Olivia Fox. The seemingly fragile girl is a recognized expert in the field of charisma and leadership. She lectures at several renowned universities as well as at the UN. In her opinion, charisma is not an image, but a set of personal qualities. Olivia explains exactly what qualities a charismatic person needs and how to develop them.
  3. "The Charisma of Successful Communication" by Barbara and Alan Pease. Famous psychologists have been happily married for many years. Who, if not them, should know the peculiarities of the female and male psyche? They took them into account when writing the book. It will help develop charisma in both sexes. You will learn business communication, as well as communication techniques with any interlocutors.
  4. “The power of charm. How to Win Hearts and Succeed by Brian Tracy and Ron Arden. The authors once again prove a well-known truth - the quality of life largely depends on the ability to communicate with other people. From the book you will learn how to achieve success in any area of ​​your life, be it work or personal relationships, how to develop charm and charisma.

Dedicate at least a few minutes a day to reading such literature. But the most important thing is to apply the knowledge you gain. This is the only way you can develop charisma.

Charisma concept

The concept of charisma originated in Ancient Greece and means “gift of God.” The ancestors of this word were the goddesses Harita. They had the ability to move gracefully and gracefully and were distinguished by their magnificent beauty. Charisma is the ability to attract people to yourself, the ability to lead and impose your value system on others. Charisma is an inexhaustible resource of vital energy that helps a person improve himself.

A charismatic person achieves his goals much faster by controlling the subconscious of members of society. As stated above, charisma is the gift of leadership.

Read further: How to develop charisma: 4 types of charisma

Is it possible to become charismatic without losing yourself?

You can, if you initially had the necessary qualities. It happens that, due to some circumstances, a person simply cannot develop important character traits. It's never too late to correct the situation. Just a couple of months of regular training and you won't recognize yourself.

But there are also those who should not go against their essence. A good example is introverts. It is difficult for them to be sociable and to establish contacts with a large number of people. In such cases, they will experience severe discomfort. Therefore, you need to think carefully about the feasibility of developing charisma.

Charisma is the art of successful communication.

Many people think that charisma is a talent that a person is born with and either he has it or he doesn’t.

Actually it's not like that

.

Charisma is a special type of behavior that can be learned if you know how.

This is the first thing you need to understand; such understanding will expand your capabilities and you will be able to engage in your own improvement.

There are techniques and models of behavior that allow you to influence others. They are not difficult to understand, but you need to get practice, experience in applying them in life, so that they are completely integrated into your behavior and begin to work automatically.

Therefore, you may not do well at first until your brain gets used to the new behavior patterns.

In general, nowhere really teaches you how to communicate with people.

The most we learn in childhood is the magic word thank you, please, hello and goodbye.

Well, we begin to mindlessly copy everything else from the people around us. Therefore, not all people have the ability to create effective communications with other people. Various communication problems, misunderstandings, mistakes may arise, we may be misunderstood, and speech cannot have any impact on others.

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