How to become a sociable and interesting person: tips for introverts

Some people have natural communication skills, and starting a conversation, as well as maintaining it, is not difficult for them. But probably, each of us in our lives has encountered a situation when it is difficult to start a conversation in an unfamiliar company. Becoming more communicative will take a lot of practice.

Here are 10 simple tips on how to become the life of the party:

1. You should not think through the dialogue with your future interlocutor in advance. Act based on the situation, remain yourself.
2. Do not use swear words, cutting remarks or jokes.
3. Learn to laugh at yourself. If you suddenly feel awkward and think that you are embarrassing yourself, then simply react to it in a positive way.
4. Accept criticism from others adequately.
5. Learn to highlight the positive qualities in yourself. This procedure can be done by writing down all your achievements and victories on a landscape sheet or in a notebook. By re-reading them, you will put yourself in the right frame of mind, which, in turn, will help you easily start a conversation.
6. Based on the previous point, some may overestimate their importance. Be sincere with yourself, adequately assess your capabilities.
7. Respect your interlocutor. Don't use your phone too often, as this will create the impression of a disinterested person.
8. More practice means better speech. Get out of your comfort zone more than once a year. Agree to go out with friends, ask salespeople, exchange a few phrases with your colleagues.
9. Gestures. Remember not to keep your arms crossed over your chest when talking. This action shows that you are closed.
10. Maintain many connections. New acquaintances require reminders about yourself. Try to communicate not only with those closest to you, but also with people you have recently met.

How to become sociable: simple tips

By adhering to these points for a long time, you will be able to make friends easily, always become the life of the party and be less shy.

In addition, one of the important factors that helps develop this skill is books. By reading classic literature, non-fiction articles, or simple modern stories, you will gain a huge vocabulary, a lot of new information, and many topics for discussion.

Books such as the Bible, Koran, and Torah are great for learning about the religions of other countries and understanding different philosophies of life.

Confidence

When talking to strangers, self-confidence is the main key to success.
A person who is sweating, wrinkling a handkerchief in his hands and not looking him in the eye is of no interest to anyone - the interlocutor will try to end the painful conversation and say goodbye as soon as possible. Confidence in conversation comes from the confidence that everything is in order with you - from your clothes to your smile. Before a meeting or going to a party/visit, take a shower, tidy up your nails, shirt, and hair.

The better you look in your own eyes, the more confident you will feel in a conversation.

How to overcome yourself and open up to people?

Hidden and reserved people create tension on the part of their interlocutors. That is why it is quite difficult to contact such people. Closedness in oneself, as a rule, aggravates the loner himself, and in turn he asks himself questions. How to be open to others? To do this, it is worth finding out what openness means.

Openness means spiritual generosity, acceptance of any person into your social circle and the opportunity to share your feelings and thoughts. To be an open person to others, you need to accept the world as it is, as well as yourself. This is not ordinary sociability, you need to enjoy communication and give it to others. These two qualities are found in optimists, who are always in good shape and charged with energy. We need to stop being afraid to express our thoughts and feelings. In other words, become confident.

Self-isolation develops from an early age, so as soon as a person notices that it is difficult for him to express his thoughts, or there is no desire to express them, he urgently needs to start working on himself.

This can be understood by several signs:

• The man keeps his hands in his pockets. At the psychological level of gestures, this means a desire to protect oneself from the outside world.
• Introverted people often have their heads down.
• In some cases, such guys are simply afraid to meet the eyes of other people, so when talking they look to the sides, when walking they look at their feet, and few people have seen their eye color.
• In the photographs they post on social networks, they usually stand backwards, or there are no photographs of them at all. This is explained by the fact that closed people are afraid to express themselves, or are otherwise afraid of attention.

How to overcome yourself and become open to people?

1. First of all, you need to take the first step. It lies in believing in yourself. At first glance it may seem that this is impossible. But it's actually very easy. Believing in yourself and in your success will help in the fight against your negative qualities.
2. The next step is to understand that to some extent all people are equal. One person is no worse than another: the first is superior in literature, the second is superior in painting. We can say that every person knows how to do something, but doesn’t know how to do something, that’s the whole logic. But do not despair, a person can learn whatever he wants, first of all he needs to overcome self-doubt and find desire in the desired activity.
3. And, most importantly, don't be afraid of failure. Negative experience is also, in some way, experience. Introverted people are very seriously afraid of allowing failure, so they often don’t even try to start doing what they want.
4. Well, the last step will be practice. A shy man needs to approach a complete stranger on the street and start a dialogue with her. And a shy girl should take the initiative herself in order to be ready to meet a man.

It's time to take stock. A shy and introverted person can overcome his negative qualities; to do this, you just need to add some effort to your desire. Soon you can notice a positive result, so you should be active, decisive and open to people, and then positive thinking will appear, fears will disappear along with complexes.

Inna,

How to open up when communicating with people

To demonstrate how to do this exercise, how to become more present and fragile, and for you to learn more about my essence, I will lower my “sea level” right here, as if we were sitting in a group and doing this powerful exercise together.

I doubt myself all the time, and sometimes I think I don't really know what I'm talking about. Even worse, I constantly worry that people will see right through me, that they will find out that I myself have a very difficult time putting into practice what I teach, and that in many areas of my life there is less authenticity, appreciation and satisfaction than I would like.

If you really, truly knew me, you would know that sometimes I hate myself, so much so that sometimes it is difficult for me to look at myself in the mirror and focus on anything other than what I believe in myself wrong. I judge myself, I criticize my body, my appearance, my words, my actions, the way I treat people incredibly viciously and rudely. With my excessive self-criticism, I subject almost everything about myself. I often feel like a complete failure and a shameless pretender. And although I know better, part of me believes: in order for everything to be good for me and for me to be loved, I must be super successful in business, good-looking, so that I have everything and so that everyone admires and respects me.

And if you really knew me, you would know that I have a very high opinion of my life and work, which is sacred to me. I firmly believe that I have found my spiritual path and that I live to fulfill an important purpose. I know that I have the ability to heal myself, develop and help others heal and develop, as well as support the very healing and development of our world. I often feel awkward admitting this because I worry that it will sound presumptuous, pompous, and boastful, that people will judge me, that it will put my life or family in danger, or that I will have to work harder than I would like, or doing something that is so scary or difficult for me that I feel unable to cope with it, or that my ego will take over (as it often does) and take over me and I will work only for money and fame. Because of this fear and embarrassment, I often give up, don't put myself out there to achieve what I really want, and don't tell my deepest truth, even if on the surface it seems like I'm doing it all.

If you really knew me...

Now it's your turn to lower the "sea level"! There are several ways to do this exercise, and while you may start by simply thinking, writing, or telling it to yourself, the point of the exercise is that you will eventually tell your truth to as many others as you can in a way that will benefit your development as much as possible. and the desire to be real. Here are some options for doing this exercise.

1. Take your diary, find a piece of paper or open a file, email or your blog. At the top, write: “If you really knew me...” and start listing everything you have the courage to share: anger, passions, fears, dreams, guilt, achievements, failures, goals, or anything else real and fragile . Once you've finished writing, immediately share your writing with others—via email, online, by asking people to read it themselves, or by reading it out loud to them.

2. Sit down with your spouse, significant other, friend, boss, or someone else; It's best to talk in person, but you can also talk on the phone if you live far away, and let it be a frank conversation in private. You can tell the other person something about your determination to be real and authentic so that the person understands what you mean and what your goals are. Having done this, say: “If you really knew me...” and reveal to him as many of your deep, fragile and sincere secrets as possible. It would be wise to set a time limit and ask the listener not to interrupt, ask questions or interject comments; It’s usually easier and calmer without them. Perhaps he will want to respond to some of your words, or maybe he will be interested in trying the “If you really knew me...” exercise himself.

3. Do the exercise with a group of friends, family, work team, etc. It works best with a group of 4 - 8 people, but the number of participants can be any. You need to explain to everyone what you are doing, why and how it should be done. You could also talk about the iceberg or even draw one on a poster or board. For the exercise to work in a group, it is important that people feel safe and supported and know that what they say will be respected and kept confidential. It is always better for you to start - others will follow your example; so the lower you are willing to go to your “sea level,” the more likely others will be to make the exercise sincere and authentic.

August 12, 2020 at 9:42 am

Alexander Pechersky

Avoiding "slippery" topics

The most unpleasant topics that lead to conflicts or the conversation going nowhere are the same as they were a hundred years ago:

• religion;
• money (earnings);
• other people's secrets;
• stories about personal property (expensive apartments, luxury cars);
• family problems - in a circle of unfamiliar people.

Conversations about religion result in disputes or direct conflicts between adherents of different faiths, conversations about earnings or property lead to feelings of envy, family problems lead to rejection (other people’s problems and squabbles are of no interest to anyone).

Well, there is no worse topic than telling someone about a secret entrusted to you. For most people, this fact will only mean that you shouldn’t be trusted with any personal information and, in general, talking with a person with a “low degree of verbal responsibility” is more expensive.

Listening skills

People starting to practice sociability often make a very common mistake - they start talking without stopping.
Such a “one-sided” game will not give the long-term desired effect - communication should be mutual, that is, you need to talk, telling something in turn. The ability to actively listen, be sincerely interested in your interlocutor, and ask the right questions is an excellent method to become a good conversationalist and an interesting person.

New acquaintances

Meet people - on the Internet, at the same parties, lectures or language club. If you don’t go anywhere and don’t meet anyone, you won’t be able to become a wonderful conversationalist purely technically.

New people in the environment and communication on other topics – different from those previously familiar – stimulate change:

• searching for additional sources of income;
• change of profession;
• unusual travels;
• the birth of a child.

And now you are no longer just a sociable and interesting person, but also a happy person who has discovered your own place in the world and created a circle of friends who will not let you down in a difficult life situation.

Why is it important to be sociable?

In principle, you don’t have to be.
The teams of Google or other IT giants consist mainly of recluses who find it much easier to deal with a computer and program code than with a living person. Most of these specialists are satisfied with this situation - they are quite happy with life. But mostly it is communication with people, conversations, and exchange of opinions that make us happy, enrich us, develop us, and help us find friends and a soul mate.

They are sociable, cheerful people:

• move up the social ladder faster;
• get a good job;
• help from friends at the moment when it is needed;
• find a loved one and are able to build deep relationships;
• find new paths in life - change jobs, place of residence, hobbies more easily;
• They don’t get lost when traveling, they find new friends and acquaintances everywhere.

Pleasant changes in life very often occur after meeting someone - real or on the Internet - and it is at the moment of communication that you need to show your best side, be able to start a conversation and maintain it, and make the interlocutor want to continue communication in the future. These are all skills that need to be learned.

The right clothes and environment

It is very important to feel comfortable during communication. If you're comfortable in a sweater and jeans, it's better to wear them and be relaxed than to sweat in a suit.

The choice of location and environment are also important. If you have no interest in parties, you shouldn't go to them. You can communicate with people:

• at seminars;
• scientific lectures (or rather, after them);
• presentations of new products and services;
• at meetings with book authors;
• in coffee shops;
• children's clubs - with parents of your children's peers.

The closer you are to the potential reason for a meeting, the more likely it is to meet people with whom communication will bring joy.