My life is my responsibility! Who is responsible for yours?
I often receive comments that begin with the magic words: “If only.” The options surprise you every time:
- If I had such a car,
I would come too! - If I had
a husband, I would start a business too! - If only I had adult children
, but I have a baby! - If I had
SO much money, I would turn the world upside down!
And who wonders where I got all this from? How long did I work to buy a car? How many difficult conversations have we had with our husband to achieve a healthy relationship?
Any psychology textbook will explain: responsibility lies behind every choice. See:
- I want a car
! My responsibility is to earn money for purchase and service. - I want a happy marriage
! I will have to read psychologists, work on relationships. - I want to be a young mother
! I must have the courage to give birth BEFORE I build a career. - I want to live in abundance
! You will have to CREATE this abundance for yourself.
Let's talk about how to learn to take responsibility. An adult should be able to do this. Waiting for a gift from a fairy is important at 5 years old, but at 35 it’s time to become your own fairy. The kindest in the world.
What does it mean to take responsibility for your life?
Taking responsibility for your life means realizing one simple thing: everything we have in our lives, we created with our own hands. More precisely, with your thoughts, emotions and state.
Remember one of the key principles of reality management in Transurfing: we create our life precisely with our attention, our thoughts, our broadcast. This means that we must admit that all our achievements, as well as all our problems, we created ourselves.
Just think about how many people around you are unhappy with their lives, but at the same time do not want to do anything!
They constantly complain about injustice, look for the cause of their problems in something or someone, but do not even try to change anything. Perhaps you know such people? And even those who practice Transurfing and follow the path of awareness still sometimes relieve themselves of responsibility for what is happening! This can manifest itself in everything, even in small things.
For example, you are rushing to a meeting and suddenly you get stuck in a traffic jam. You realize that you are very late, and you begin to get angry at everyone around you: at the drivers, at the roads, at the traffic controllers... And you make excuses: “What could I do, it’s the traffic jams!”, but in fact you could just go to a meeting earlier, with time to spare.
Of course, this is a small thing, but when we begin to behave this way in more significant things, we “fall asleep” in every problematic situation and stop managing our lives!
Examples of people who abdicate responsibility for their lives:
- “I don’t want to choose!”
Such people voluntarily give up the right to choose, and they are “thrown” through life like an autumn leaf in the wind. They go to college because their parents told them to. They choose a job that a friend recommended to them. They start a family because “that’s how it’s supposed to be.” And in the end, sooner or later they realize that their life is boring and colorless: without love, without goals, without self-realization.
- "Waiting for a miracle".
People of this type always hope for a miracle instead of acting on their own. They don’t want to move towards the goal, they wait for what they want to come into their hands. For example, having rotated the target slide once, they already demand instant results. But at the same time, they don’t want to move on and work on themselves, manage their attention and thoughts, “move their feet” towards the chosen goal...
- “I want everything at once!”
Dreamers who are looking for a “magic pill” that will cure them of all their problems at once, and a “magic wand” that will make all their wishes come true at once. Transurfing could become such a tool, but only with regular, conscious practice and movement forward. But, since dreamers are accustomed to abdicating responsibility and doing nothing, they expect instant results.
- "I'm a small person."
Such people are constantly in the position of a victim, and in any situation they shift responsibility to others. They assure themselves and others that nothing depends on them, that they cannot change anything. And the only thing left for them is to humbly bear their cross and endure.
- “Everyone is to blame!”
One of the most popular types of people who do not want to take responsibility for their lives are those who are constantly looking for someone to blame. They blame their parents, colleagues, boss, state for their failures... They constantly find excuses and reasons why they have not yet achieved success: a difficult childhood, corruption, bad weather...
Do you want to drive a Tesla? Choose Tesla!
“Maria, I’m afraid to take responsibility! What should we do about it?
- clients ask somewhere in the middle of the session.
Understand the main thing: being responsible for yourself is beneficial. In some places it’s even a thrill! You no longer have to wait for your mom to buy a toy or your husband to allocate money for a phone. When you are in charge, you decide for yourself. I wanted it, I made it happen. And what we’re talking about: a new business or a new dress is the tenth thing.
Yes, becoming responsible for your life means being responsible for your actions yourself. But it's not as scary as they make it out to us. Business didn't work out? The new one will be better, taking into account the mistakes. Tired of the dress? I will sell and buy another one. I made a mistake myself - I corrected it myself, what are the problems?
Everything that is in our life depends on us. Both your own apartment with a view of the Kremlin, and a rented one-room apartment on the outskirts are OUR choice, helping to solve OUR problems. For example:
- One successfully develops from the comfort zone. The refrigerator is stocked, the apartment is paid for, the person is calm and goes about his business.
- The other begins to move only when it is “cooked”. When everything is fine, he lies on the couch, and when stressed, he shows amazing abilities. Naturally, he is constantly in a storm: either he will be fired from his job, or a friend will let him down, or his children will get sick.
We all know a thousand such stories:
- I haven’t rested for a long time - I got sick and “rest” in the hospital;
- I couldn’t decide to start my own business - I was fired from my stable job;
- I got my license, but didn’t get behind the wheel – I had to take my child to specialists.
If we don't go through our lessons calmly, life will tighten the screws to focus us on what's important.
Checklist: check, are you abdicating responsibility for your life?
Many people, especially those who practice Transurfing, are sure: I definitely take responsibility for everything that happens in my life! I am now in a state of awareness and create my own reality. But is this always the case? Check if you sometimes fall asleep in your routine and if you are shifting responsibility to someone else! Are you the Master of your reality - or are you used to blaming other people and external circumstances for your failures?
1. You quarreled with a colleague.
Does it ever happen that you think like this: “He has a terrible character, that’s why my relationship with him doesn’t work out”?
2. You don't have enough money.
Do you have thoughts that your boss underestimates you and pays you too little?
3. Do you think from time to time?
, that it would be good to move to another country, because “here” it is difficult to achieve something, but “there” it will be better?
4. When you get sick,
Do you think the cause of the disease is that you live in a bad climate/another epidemic has started/you were coughed on on the bus and infected, etc.?
5. Your negotiations were unsuccessful.
Do you blame your business partners for this?
6. Has this ever happened to you:
you decided to start playing sports, but put it off because going to a fitness club is too expensive/no time/no sneakers/no one to go with, etc.?
7. Have you ever had thoughts
that all family quarrels are to blame for your partner, your parents or your children, because they don’t understand you/pay little attention to you/don’t notice how hard it is for you, etc.?
If you answered yes to 3 or more points, it means that from time to time you still relieve yourself of responsibility for what is happening and try to shift it to others.
Train your awareness, train yourself to “wake up” in every difficult situation and look at it from the outside, from the position of the Caretaker. And then you will see the true causes of the problems, you will be able to take the initiative into your own hands and solve them!
Take responsibility for your life!
Fragment of the live broadcast “How to wake up and start managing your life?”
In this video, Tatyana Samarina gives advice on where to start managing your reality. Namely, in order to take responsibility for your life! This is the most significant step.
We all face a choice, and each of us has three paths: development, degradation and “I’ll try.”
When we choose the first path, we move along the path of awareness, evolution, and development of consciousness. Let's take life into our own hands and become the master of our reality! When we choose the second path, we do nothing, because we are sure that “everything is useless, nothing works, I will live as I live!” That is, we fall into the position of a victim. And the third way is to “try.” But that doesn't work either.
You don't need to try, but act. This is the only way you can take responsibility for your life and begin to manage reality!
“Managing reality in 1 day”, practical course, online broadcast
December 12, 2020, 10:00 - 17:00 (Moscow time)
We invite you to a powerful course, 80% consisting of pure practice. In the program: techniques of Transurfing, Tufte and New Time!
This is the only program that gives you a unique opportunity to master the Transurfing technique in 1 day as a simple and effective way to achieve your goals.
In just 1 day and 7 hours of practice, you will lay a solid foundation for your new life, which you will begin to build at your own discretion with the help of Transurfing.
- You realize how to find yourself, your true goals - and what to do to achieve them.
- Learn to get what you want in a completely new, unusual and easy way.
- Free yourself from destructive scenarios, programs and attitudes, and become more conscious.
- You will form new healthy habits: in nutrition, in working with the body, in the way of thinking.
- You will learn how to choose for yourself exactly the reality that you want - regardless of your position, status, age, circumstances and past experience!
More about the course >>>
“Tafty. Wake up in reality!”, 2-day online meeting with Tatyana Samarina
Tufte's techniques have excited the world. Those who practice get great results. But not everyone succeeds in this. Why? A huge number of questions still remain:
- How to step off the screen into the auditorium and begin to define your own reality?
- What if I don't feel the intention?
- How to change the film and script?
You will receive answers in the form of 100% practice at the online meeting “Tafti. Wake up to reality! The webinar consists of two parts.
Is waiting for you:
- 2 days of practice and more than 10 techniques;
- setting a new reality;
- entering your “improved” mannequin;
- working with energy that will allow you to feel the braid;
- principle and algorithm of following, attention management;
- joint launch of intention braids
and much more!
Find out more about the program!
100% responsibility and not a percentage less.
You can make a decision and commit yourself not to avoid responsibility for your life at any time. This will immediately change a lot, and most importantly, it will change the attitude of other people. The fact is that responsible people cannot stand complainers, those who make unnecessary accusations, and they cannot stand those who make excuses for their failures. By becoming responsible, we will attract the same people to ourselves, which will allow us to get even greater results and become even more successful.
You can train yourself to avoid responsibility in different ways, but first, at least start noticing these dangerous habits, and if you suddenly:
- Blame
- Making excuses
- Defending yourself
- Complaining
- Are you shy?
Then stop doing this immediately. And yet, only by taking full responsibility for yourself and your life can you become truly free and truly lead your life.
About the author: Alexey Tarasov
entrepreneur, editor-in-chief and publisher of wikiGrowth.ru
