Aggression and bullying from students at school: what should a teacher do?


Teenagers need to become self-confident


All leaders are confident. Those people who do not possess this quality do not become leaders. But, on the contrary, they begin to follow someone.

Therefore, the main task of a teenager who wants to become a leader is to begin to increase the level of his self-esteem. By any means available (except for humiliating the dignity of others). To become self-confident, a teenager can start playing sports. Develop intellectually. Or improve his skills that will help him become the best in the class. Each of the above hobbies will raise a teenager’s self-esteem.

In the struggle for leadership, a teenager must show his best qualities. Specifically, high levels of courage, fearlessness, willpower, and determination. A leader is one who is ready to go to the end. And demonstrate perseverance.

Only a person who is intellectually developed can be a leader. The teenager must do well in school. And also, he must take part in all events that are organized at the educational institution. In this case, absolutely all students in the class will listen to him. And not just some specific groups within it.

The teenager needs to understand how to communicate with the class and practice it

The teenager must learn to influence his entire class through communication. He must be able to select the keys to the heart of both the entire team as a whole and its individual members. The teenager needs to improve relationships with his classmates. Give them support. And show attention to them.

Then classmates on a subconscious level will begin to perceive the teenager as a leader who can be relied on.

A leader must be calm and cool-headed

He should literally exude steadfastness and fearlessness. Leaders are loved for these skills. Because they will always be able to calmly, without emotions, resolve the issue.

Teenagers need to learn to take responsibility

If he is a leader, then now he is responsible not only for himself. But also for those people who trusted him. That is, for his class.

The teenager needs to monitor the moral situation in the classroom. Don't let the strong offend the weak. Avoid conflicts.

If a teenager is asked to help in a specific situation, then he should do so to the best of his ability. Yes, sometimes it can be difficult to help. But, nevertheless, the work done will have a positive effect on the teenager. He will make sure that the person he helped will owe him. As a result, one day he will repay the debt.

The teenager should periodically communicate with leaders

With absolutely anyone. These can be boys/girls from parallel classes at the school. Or even from other educational institutions.

Communicating with leaders will be very useful for a teenager, since he will be able to learn from their experience. Learn to resolve conflict situations and get rid of problems. Also, he will understand how to maintain a leadership position. Do not allow anyone other than him to also be a leader.

If a teenager communicates with leaders like him, he will be able to remain the head of the class until the end of school. And he will be able to use the acquired skills even after graduation. For example, if he wants to start his own business.

A teenager should be prepared for the fact that problems will have to be solved at any time of the day.

Regardless of whether he has free time. Did he have time to do his homework? Does he have the attitude to solve problems? And so on.

A class needs a leader to solve the problems of its students. Get rid of them. And do everything to ensure that no one has any problems. If a teenager does not solve the problems of the team, then no one will need such a leader. As a result, the teenager will quickly lose his formal position. And they will no longer contact him.

A teenager should know every student in the class

He must know all the information about his classmates:

  1. Where do they live (exact address).
  2. What are their parents' names?
  3. What are their phone numbers?

And much more. The teenager will need this information when resolving conflicts in the classroom. Because the easiest way to put pressure on a child is to do it through his parents.

A leader must behave in a manner befitting a leader

He has a huge responsibility to the team. Because other students watch the leader's behavior. And, in case of conflict situations, they copy it.

A leader should under no circumstances engage in physical assault. Its main task is to rein in a person using words, intonations, as well as facial expressions and gestures.

If a teenager resorts to violence to solve every issue, it will end badly. A crowd of people that is controlled only by fear can soon get out of control. And stop obeying.

A leader must innovate

Break up the usual study routine. This can be done by introducing certain innovations. For example, a leader might think of wishing every student in the class a happy birthday. Make sure that schoolchildren chip in 50-100 rubles on the eve of the holiday. And with this money they bought various gifts for the birthday boy.

Also, the leader can come up with, for example, a secret mail for February 14th. Collect Valentine's cards from everyone. And distribute them to the students in the class.

A teenager can introduce other interactive activities. It is very important that they are original. And they lifted the spirits of other children. If a teenager can implement something like this, he will really enjoy it. And will strengthen his role as a leader.

A teenager needs to read a lot to be able to give advice to anyone

People usually consult with a leader. Accordingly, he must be well-read and intellectually developed. To be able to advise a person at any time what to do.

If a leader always has the opportunity to give advice, he will strengthen his status. And he will be able to manipulate people for his own purposes. Which will allow him to always remain in charge.

A teenager must become a good manager

A leader must have the following qualities:

  1. Decency.
  2. Accuracy to detail.
  3. A strong core.
  4. Ability to behave in public.
  5. Eloquence.
  6. Good sense of humor.
  7. Resourcefulness.

If a teenager experiences problems with certain qualities, then he must necessarily focus on improving them. And develop them. They are necessary to become a leader everywhere. In any organization and campaign.

A teenager must be able to involve different people to achieve a common goal

A teenager must learn to recognize people's talents and use them. To achieve a common goal. The task of a teenager is to analyze people's talents. And direct them to where they will help the common cause best.

A teenager should not forget

Even when a teenager becomes a leader, he must still behave well. Be sensitive and responsive. And do not behave as if he is a king, and all the people around him are subordinates without their rights and freedoms.

People will quickly notice if a teenager begins to behave badly. It's like he's a star. Such behavior will have a terrible impact on the morale of the team. Because he will no longer need such a leader.

A teenager must learn to listen

Listening and hearing is a very important skill for a leader. Classmates will periodically come to him to talk things out. And ask for help in resolving a certain conflict.

A leader cannot allow only himself to speak. If he wants to be considered a leader, he must adapt. Learn to listen to other people. And hear what they are trying to convey to him.

When people see that a leader is willing to understand them, they feel important. And they trust him more easily. If the leader shows indifference, then his commands will not be carried out. Because the person will not feel significant. This means his hatred of the leader will only grow.

What is difficult behavior and how does it happen?

Challenging behavior is behavior that interferes with the child's learning and relationships with others, causes harm to the environment and things, and creates risks for the child, peers, adults and other living beings. From this definition it is clear that not only those around them suffer from difficult behavior, but also the child himself who behaves this way.

Since the child himself suffers from this, it is very important to help him, support him and teach him to act differently. Because this is not a difficult child, but a child who is having a hard time.

There are many different types of challenging behavior: failure to complete homework, skipping classes, risky behavior, smoking, substance use. Sometimes this is aggression and bullying - when a child expresses his strong emotions in destructive ways that hurt others, damage things and create psychological discomfort.

Why do children behave aggressively?

Children can show aggression for various reasons: due to anxiety, stress, lack of self-confidence, unfavorable family situations and the inability to express their feelings in another way. By participating in bullying, a child may be trying to earn respect in the team. It is important to understand that when expressing aggression, a child does not do it out of spite or for pleasure, but because he does not know how to act otherwise. In general, anger and aggression are normal feelings, just like joy, interest or fear, but children need to be taught to express these feelings in a non-destructive way.

If the aggression is directed towards the teacher

If aggression on the part of a student is directed at the teacher, the action plan looks exactly the same, but you need to focus on your own support. The child must be stopped by any means, not allowed to cause physical or verbal pain, and consistently set strict boundaries - what can and cannot be done, and be told what the consequences of violating these boundaries will be.

It is important for the teacher to remember that it is he who creates the conditions for learning, and it is within his power to help children learn to behave differently.

Why do they offend?

Children's groups have their own values ​​and perceptions of diversity. Sometimes children do not pay attention to the existing differences between them, but sometimes being different from others is a reason for ridicule. The same situations occur in adults.

Reasons for ridicule:

  • another nationality or culture (skin color, eye shape, face shape)
  • weight (too fat or thin), height (too tall or short)
  • speech defects (stuttering, poor diction)
  • difference in moral principles (one non-smoker in a class of smokers, one virgin among girls leading early sexual activity, etc.)
  • difference in material condition (too poor or rich)
  • grades (very smart or constant poor student)
  • different interests and preferences (a boy who is a musician arouses ridicule among boys who are athletes, a girl who is an excellent student in mathematics arouses envy among girls who study the humanities)

Adult help

Teachers

The teacher must know well the relationships between the children in his group. It is worth paying attention to those who are new, who are somehow different from others, to especially modest children.

  • Treat everyone equally, without prejudice. Favorites, children from wealthy families, excellent students are no better than other children in themselves. There has always been a difference in academic performance and income, but there is no need to introduce a spirit of competition among classmates.
  • Praise more. Praise helps children become more positive and happier and see the good in each other.
  • The teacher does not give names, labels or shame anyone in front of the whole class.
  • If you notice a depressed mood, you should try to talk and find out the reason. Then inform your parents about the problem (if they don’t know) and look for solutions together.
  • If a child comes up with a complaint, do not ignore it, but listen and discuss the situation.

Parents

Parents need to avoid two extremes:

1. Total control

Total control will not get rid of ridicule, and sometimes it will contribute to insecurity. Do not overreact to any bruises or abrasions, to any loss of belongings, or to missing lunch in the school cafeteria. There is no need to yell at the teacher or other parents for any reason. Perhaps it is your offspring who provokes isolated quarrels and fights.

2. Indifference.

On the other hand, indifference in the family leads to depression and psychological trauma. If the signs of bullying are obvious, do not think that time heals and children are just playing around.

What to do?

  • Be balanced. Observe and analyze.
  • Maintain friendly relationships with the teacher and other parents and children.
  • Have the phone numbers of teachers and some parents. You should not call often and for any reason.
  • Watch your child's appearance so as not to give scoffers a justified reason for bullying. Clothing must be clean, neat (not torn), appropriate for the event and modern. Children also sweat heavily, so changing their underwear daily is advisable.
  • Help your child with personal hygiene - remind him to brush his teeth and wash.
  • Problems in the oral cavity are the cause of bad breath. Therefore, check with all specialists on time and regularly.
  • If your son or daughter must wear glasses, find a suitable frame shape. Try to improve your vision through gymnastics and other methods. Children also recognize each other based on their clothes.
    • Ask: “How was your day at school?”
    • "Do you have friends in the group?"
    • “What do you usually do during breaks?”
    • “What did they serve in the canteen today?”
    • Listen carefully and observe the response.
    • Observe your baby's eating behavior and sleep habits.
    • Look at him from the outside during joint games: “Does he know how to cooperate or strives for primacy?”
    • “Is he touchy, does he take loss seriously?”
    • “Are you able to stand up for yourself or do you constantly give in and apologize?” etc.
  • Explain that bullying is a problem, not a joke. Reassure him that he can share his feelings with you at any time.
  • Teach the rules of communication with different people. He must understand the subordination with adults and juniors.
  • He must adequately perceive diversity in society. This will help you avoid becoming an aggressor or a victim.
  • Praise. Healthy self-esteem is possible in a healthy family atmosphere of love and care. However, it is better to praise for efforts, rather than for results and abilities.
  • Lead by example. Remove sarcasm, bullying and gaslighting from yourself.
  • The most dangerous thing for a fragile child’s psyche is a fragile adult. Be a good example!

    • Teach your son or daughter to respond to offenders not with violence, but with the power of words or ignoring them. Explain that a bully often chooses a victim with a responsive nervous system in order to see a response. So sometimes the best response for a bully is to ignore his ridicule.
    • Explain “what is good and what is bad.” High moral standards help you not to succumb to provocations, have your own backbone and be able to defend your point of view.
    • If the problem is not solved despite reasonable measures, some move to another class or school.
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