There are times when, without an apology, the future relationship between a guy and a girl is in jeopardy. If you feel guilty in some situation, then it is better to honestly admit it to your beloved. Some guys even prefer to shift responsibility for an unseemly act onto someone else or simply pretend that nothing happened, but such tactics will not lead to anything good.
General rule
It concerns not only men - it applies to all humanity, regardless of gender, age and religion. Asking for forgiveness when you have made a mistake is completely normal and even necessary. It is also quite natural to experience anxiety and timidity. Along with an apology, labels like “henpecked”, “weak-willed” or “you have no pride” are not attached. If this happens, you should seriously consider whether to continue relationships with people who think so limitedly and do not know how to admit that they are wrong. It's also a bad idea to apologize for everything, it will only ruin the relationship.
Apologies are important
Asking for forgiveness is a serious act. You cannot use “sorry” as a stock phrase in problematic situations. Apologizing teaches you to fight your own pride and admit mistakes. They foster attentiveness to the feelings of another person and responsibility for their own actions.
Are you really ready to ask for forgiveness? Do you know what you're apologizing for? Girls have developed intuition. Your beloved will easily feel falsehood and uncertainty, the resentment will become deeper and more significant, and the conclusions will be even more global.
Never apologize for show, don’t do it for the sake of cherished words about forgiveness. If you repeat the same mistake, you will face resentment again. Why torture yourself and the girl? You should ask for forgiveness only with the firm intention of correcting your behavior and not making the same mistakes in the future.
Trying to avoid making excuses after excuses will be inappropriate if the offense was serious and the resentment runs deep. You need to accept your guilt in spite of pride and admit it out loud.
Feigning your own offense in such a situation is the worst option. You will never get back respect.
Emotionality
The fair sex usually suffers more from disappointment, anger and other strong negative or positive emotions. Do not forget about this in order to preserve tender feelings and not cause even more pain to your loved one. Therefore, if the quarrel really no longer looks harmless and is rapidly turning into a terrible one, it is better to give the girl time and free space until she calms down. Just don’t leave her silently and with a stern look. This can only increase the conflict. Say you want to save the relationship and apologize or talk to her later.
Show special interest in the girl
A girl must believe that she is the only one, special, the best
. Every girl considers herself unique, but it is much more pleasant to hear this from her loved one. Tell the girl how much she means to you, how beautiful and charming she is. Focus on its individual merits, rather than the details of your conflict. You should not justify yourself or repeat certain phrases of the quarrel. You need to make the girl believe in your repentance without focusing on details.
Finding a solution
The final step in preparing to make amends. When the main cause of the quarrel is clear, it’s time to think about how to fix everything. Try to imagine how the girl felt and what words would help better convey the reason for what happened. The optimal solution will be one that will not allow you or your significant other to experience pain about this anymore. A real man always keeps his word - if you say that this will not happen again, you must do everything so as not to break your promise. The girl will remember your words and will love and respect you even more when the promise remains valid for a long (preferably infinite) time. Otherwise, trust in the couple will be undermined, gradually and painfully bringing separation closer.
Explain your behavior to yourself and your boyfriend
Answer the question first: why did you do this or do you behave this way all the time? The problem is you, the situation you both are in or you are in? Find the reasons why you cannot respect your boyfriend, if, for example, you are rude all the time or cannot fulfill his simplest requests, and work with these reasons.
For example, you fight all the time about money. Explain what irritates you about his behavior on this issue. If he is dissatisfied with your spending, watch yourself, try to reach agreements on the budget with him and comply with them. Apologize for acting unrestrained because of this, show your willingness to listen and find a compromise.
Where to begin
The preparation is completed and the basics of female psychology have been mastered, it’s time to begin the main decisive actions.
1.
Think about the place and time when it is better to try to apologize. It's always better to do this in person, especially after a serious argument.
2.
The first words after a disagreement should not be excuses or reasons - say clearly and sincerely, looking into the beautiful eyes of your partner:
• I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
• I'm sorry.
• Forgive me, I hurt you.
• Sorry, it's my fault.
Use one of the above or choose your own phrase that reflects your intention to honestly and consciously ask for forgiveness. Try adding a term of endearment to the girl if she has always liked it. This will help soften the negative mood a little and remind her of your tender feelings.
3.
If the girl is still on edge and screaming, listen calmly. Then she will feel a little better, some of the anger and resentment will come out screaming.
4.
As mentioned above, if your loved one is still too upset and asks to leave, you need to listen and give her time.
5.
If the girl is more or less ready to listen to you, try to honestly tell her why you did what upset her so much. Try to be honest about why you did what you did. Women's intuition will almost always sense a lie, so you need to speak as truthfully as possible. Here you will be able to convey your motives only if you have already understood yourself and are ready to open up.
What to do if apologizing doesn't help?
The first attempt to ask for forgiveness may end in failure. Resentment is a strong feeling that eats away a girl from the inside.
A public apology will help if the opinion of the people around her is important to the girl.
In other cases, you can try on the role of a true knight or a romantic. Be creative. Think about what might touch her. Read her favorite poems about love, sing a romantic song, write a beautiful letter. Remember the movie "Kate and Leo". The main character's message melted the heart of the business beauty. In your letter, tell us about your feelings and experiences, remember the warm moments of your relationship. Ask the artist to draw a portrait of her as a romantic and mysterious person.
Gifts must be personal. Only for her. It is important for a girl to feel special and needed. Show how hard it is for you without her. You can talk to her friends, mom, dad and convince them of the seriousness of your intentions. She will listen to their opinion.
Have you spent a lot of effort, but no effect? Stop trying. After some time, the girl will feel the seriousness of the loss and will make contact with you.
Examples:
• Sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't want to come home so late. I understand that you were worried and very upset, and I had to warn you. A friend got fired, he was furious, and after work we went to a bar in the basement. Pashka felt so bad that he spoke without stopping. I only realized how much time had passed when I took out my phone. Then I noticed that there was no connection. I will always try to warn you so as not to repeat this mistake again.
• Forgive me, I know how much you love your little niece, but I couldn’t go with you to her birthday. We agreed a long time ago and I have no excuses, but the reason is that I made a mistake on an important document that should be ready in the morning. I had to stay late at work to fix everything. I understand you may be upset, but I want to make things right. Let's go together to visit Masha this weekend?
• Sorry, it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have reacted so harshly because I saw you in a cafe with an unfamiliar man. I understand that first I should have listened to you and not made a scene. I succumbed to jealousy and fear that our relationship, which is very important to me, was under threat. I really need to trust you more and you can be mad at me. I will try my best to make amends.
6.
Let your lover think about the answer. Try to answer all follow-up questions as honestly as you would your apology. If she is as much to blame for the fight as you are, don't blame her back. You value this relationship and you yourself took the first step towards restoring it, so wait until she forgives you and realizes her guilt in what happened. Then you will discuss everything together, having calmed down a little and recovered from the disagreement.
At this stage, it is better not to get too close, touch or pull the girl into your arms.
7.
Most low- and medium-intensity conflicts end by point 6. However, when a girl's feelings are more hurt, she may not accept the apology as quickly. Then it is better to leave again, repeating that you are ready to give her time and will not stop trying to earn forgiveness.
Do the deed
If the first attempt does not produce results, then the reason may be either your deep guilt or the girl’s excessive stubbornness. In any case, an ordinary apology is clearly not enough and it is necessary to perform a special act that will elevate her in the eyes of others. Women have always been dependent on the opinions of society. And the ability to surprise others will cause more delight in a girl than a sincere intimate apology, especially since the latter has already been used to no avail. We offer several options for special surprises:
- A traditional large bouquet of flowers, given when there is a gathering of people who are significant to the girl: work colleagues, classmates, friends.
- A special way of presenting gifts: balloons, a kite, a parcel, a courier in a special carnival costume, etc.
- An inscription with a declaration of love on the asphalt, banner, poster.
- Announcement on the radio, selector, at a lecture at your request, etc.
Surprise options can only be limited by your imagination.
How to ask for forgiveness: other ways
You've apologized with words, and it's time to try new ways to get the relationship back. For the sake of a worthwhile girl, you can safely do something different.
After all, the harder you try to earn forgiveness, the higher the chances of success will be. Briefly about other methods:
1.
Write a letter in your own words asking for forgiveness again, keeping in mind some of the rules above. It will be very romantic if the text is on a separate sheet of paper and in a beautiful envelope. However, a cute postcard or a funny toy folded using the origami technique that needs to be unfolded to be read will also work.
2.
A message created in verse will look very touching. The other half can feel like a real lady for whom the knight wrote poetry. Also, a beautiful syllable will show how long you tried and thought about it in the process of finding rhymes.
3.
The two previous options can be secretly delivered to your loved one either individually or together with a soft toy, a luxurious bouquet of flowers, or a box of expensive sweets or chocolate. Hint: you don’t need to give a girl soft toys if you have never seen them with her before. She won't appreciate it.
4.
A method for artists, musicians, photographers and other creative individuals who know how to create beauty. Nothing will remind you of a person more than a gift made by him with his own hand. You can send your girl a drawing, compose and play a melody, print out your shared photos or pictures from her favorite places, cut a bracelet out of wood, etc.
5.
Organize a romantic dinner by candlelight and prepare at least a few dishes for it yourself. It will come in especially handy after a hard day at work for the second half.
The list goes on and on, but the main thing that will help improve relationships is sincerity, care, the ability to keep your word and attention to your beloved and your relationship.
Other useful tips
When you have done something wrong, you need to make a personal apology. The sincerity of repentance cannot be conveyed through eloquent messages on social networks, nor can one compensate for guilt. Therefore, it is necessary to ask for forgiveness in person, as a sign of good manners of a well-mannered person. This needs to be done romantically, creatively and beautifully.
You shouldn’t impose yourself, you need to give the girl time to think, and don’t rush into an answer. She needs to be given a certain amount of time to process the apology. You need to return to the conversation only when she doesn’t mind.
Of course, it is important to ask for forgiveness in person, but you can do this by writing an SMS or a message on a social network if the girl categorically does not want to see each other again. To do this, you still need to rely on the above rules.
If a young man wants to touch a girl to tears, then, naturally, starting to sincerely apologize, he needs to:
- mention important and sensitive moments of the relationship (the acquaintance itself, the first kiss, walking together, perhaps the place of the first meeting);
- make a video from joint photos with a romantic melody and pleasant words. (here it depends on your imagination);
- invite you on a date to your favorite cafe or arrange a meeting;
- give a bouquet of your favorite flowers;
- say that he admits his guilt and wants to fix everything;
- write or lay out the words “Sorry”, “I love you” with rose petals or candles;
- sing your own song
- academic essay;
- arrange for flowers to be delivered by courier to your beloved’s home or work with a note containing words of apology, naturally sincere.
The girl will be pleasantly surprised by the surprise. You can organize a joint photo shoot after receiving forgiveness.
What words should you not say?
How to apologize to a guy without him accusing him of insincerity? There are a few words that will ruin all your efforts. These are “ifs” and “buts”, when they are used in apologetic speech, the whole meaning is reversed.
For example: “I'm sorry I'm late, I didn't do it on purpose” and “I'm sorry if my lateness offended you.” That is, the second option actually sounds like this: “I’m not sorry,” and in this phrase the responsibility is shifted to the guy himself: “My lateness also offended you.”
