Echoes of ancient knowledge in the modern world
Now everything is not at all as difficult as it was before. If the blue eyes opposite you at the computer don’t give you peace, you can try looking for them on the Internet. Then it’s a matter of little things - likes, songs, a meaningless “hello” and flirtatious smiles in the office.
But what if your colleague ignores social networks, preferring real life? Trust your intuition. When the Internet did not exist in the world, people met, communicated and flirted by relying on body language.
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We are gradually losing this art, but it can tell you much more about likes than “politeness likes” on Instagram or Facebook.
Proximity4
The girl will try to stay as close as possible to the guy she likes. This will be observed in all situations - in companies she will sit or stand next to him or call him to her, when talking alone she will almost touch him. Yes, the same can be said about touches - the girl will use them very often. If she touches a man, pats him on the shoulder, hugs him when meeting and saying goodbye, then this is a clear sign of interest. However, again you need to observe how she behaves with friends and acquaintances, because this could be a simple behavioral feature.
At the same time, the girl will often remind you that she would like to be alone with the guy. She will say that the environment is noisy and she would like to talk to him in a quiet place. Or that she feels more comfortable with him and not with a crowd. In general, she will strive by any means to win the guy’s full attention so that he does not look or talk to anyone but her. And this can be done without offending others, only by retiring somewhere. Maybe she will even decide to have her first kiss or something more serious at the moment when she and her boyfriend find themselves alone? Who knows.
Accordingly, if a girl is cold, does not smile at a guy, does not look at him, does not laugh at his jokes, tries to stay away from him, then she is not interested in him. Everything is quite simple and obvious, so every man will be able to observe such signs and use what he knows about their meaning and purposes. You will find more interesting details about how to understand what a woman loves here.
The main thing you need to know is that if a girl really likes a guy, then she will do everything to be close to him or to attract his attention. This fact is simply beyond doubt. Although we should not exclude the possibility that “winning attention” is just a hobby for a girl and she is not really interested in the guy, she just enjoys attention to herself.
Look and smile
If your colleague involuntarily smiles when he sees you, during a conversation leans a little in your direction and looks into your eyes, then most likely he is also passionate and does not mind spending the evening together.
However, even if he demonstratively turns away, this does not mean anything: it is quite possible that the specimen in front of you is too shy.
A person in love is betrayed by nervousness: direct eye contact is both frightening and alluring. Therefore, men often quickly look away and immediately look again: it is beyond their strength to refrain from looking at the object of desire.
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Advantages and disadvantages
The advantages of this type of dating are common topics of conversation, joint projects when you spend a lot of time together, as well as regular communication at work (and not only) and daily meetings.
The main disadvantages are considered to be the opposition of superiors to any novels that undermine the discipline and ability of the team to work.
Also, many pay attention to the gossip of colleagues who will discuss relationships and, in some situations, take advantage of the vulnerability of lovers.
We must not forget that in case of an unsuccessful acquaintance or refusal when showing feelings, communicating with a girl every day will be extremely unpleasant. Therefore, approach your acquaintance responsibly so that you don’t have to regret any wrong steps in the future.
Legs
Even if the eyes are under complete control, a person is often given away by... his legs! Toes pointed at you indicate interest and goodwill. But if a colleague listens attentively, enthusiastically and even nods to the rhythm of your speeches, but his shoes are pointing at the door, this is bad. Most likely, in his thoughts he is already sipping coffee in the office canteen.
He sat down? Amazing! An interested man sits with his legs wide apart, leaning slightly forward. The leg rests on the full foot. He actually says: “Admire what may soon be yours.”
Why might it be difficult for a colleague?
It’s worth thinking about the second participant in the story. A female colleague, this is still not a friend, in your communication there is a certain element of deliberateness and the fact that “there is no escape from each other.” It’s one thing when an outside friend has the opportunity to step back, make a decision and formulate her answer in a calm atmosphere—a colleague does not have such an opportunity. For someone, being close to and interacting with a person who has his eye on you is unpleasant, uncomfortable and mentally difficult. If she cannot respond to your feelings, she will probably be embarrassed to communicate in the future.
Both you and she may feel as if they are locked inside some shameful situation that will not be resolved. This will not escape the attention of other colleagues.
You can recall the recommendations of psychologists who even advise spouses not to work together, because feelings and relationships will merge into something irrational and destructive. There is such a thing as “bringing work home,” when work problems are added to family troubles, which will definitely have a bad effect on relationships.
Work is a place where there should be as little emotion as possible; your fulfillment and development directly depend on thoughtful actions. If you suffer from unhappy love, feel ashamed, behave unnaturally, your colleagues will notice.
"Flirting Triangle"
Nonverbal communication experts say that we look at different facial and body features depending on whether we like a person or not.
With unattractive or unfamiliar people, our gaze moves from eye to eye and stops at the bridge of the nose.
But if sympathy arises, people repeat the triangle, increasing its area: “eye-eye-lips.” Did you like what you saw? Even if you haven’t had time to formulate your interest even in your head, the next examination will be even broader: “eye-eye-neck”.
Well, have you already noticed what part of your body your colleague is looking at?
How to make a male colleague fall in love with you
By becoming friends with a colleague on social networks and starting communication with him, you have already taken the first step towards getting closer. Continue in the same vein, don’t forget to tell him about yourself, sharing your favorite films, music that catches you, quotes you like and your own opinions on current issues. Let him see that you are not a dummy, but an interesting person. However, you shouldn’t limit yourself to just this. What else can you do to make your male colleague fall in love with you? There are many options, here are some of the simplest and most effective.
- Don't forget about your appearance . It's good if you look great in photos on social networks. What about in life? At work, he sees you alive, without Photoshop. Don’t forget to tint your ends and do a manicure on time. Dress beautifully and modernly, choosing clothes that highlight your assets as much as possible. Of course, wearing a tight minidress with a deep neckline is too much, not to mention the fact that this outfit does not correspond to a business occasion. You can draw attention to your chest with beads, to your face with earrings, to your graceful wrist with a bracelet or watch, and to your slender legs with bright shoes. Try to change your image, get a new hairstyle - such a metamorphosis will definitely make your colleagues pay attention to you.
- Contact and contact . Make eye contact, accidentally touch him (passing papers, letting someone else pass in a narrow corridor), you can even, as if mechanically, straighten his bent collar, shake off some lint from his shoulder. And try not to disappear from his field of vision for a long time (but not looming in front of him all the time - this will only serve to harm).
- Intrigue . If you disappear for a couple of days, let him guess what happened and start worrying. Say something non-standard when leaving (for example, quote a classic) - let him rack his brain about what you meant. Answer his greeting dryly - let him worry whether he has offended you in some way, or whether you have cooled off towards him.
- Find commonalities . After analyzing the interests of your chosen one, find what brings you together. For example, he is interested in chess, and you attended a chess club as a child. Or maybe he is studying Italian and is generally interested in the culture of Italy, and you adore Italian cuisine and cook pizza and pasta divinely. Or maybe you're both dog lovers? Or do you both grow cacti? Having found common ground, often bring up a common topic that interests you in conversation. By the way, here you can find a reason to invite your chosen one somewhere (to a meeting with a grandmaster, to a recently opened Italian cafe, to a dog show).
- Ask for help . The nature of men has created this way, that they all feel the need to be needed and irreplaceable, they want to be strong, smart, skillful. Ask a colleague to help you with something and he will feel happy. He will want to be close to you, protect you and still feel like a “real man.” What to ask for? Yes about every little thing! Take the folder off the top shelf, punch a hole punch into a large stack of paper, screw the flyaway handle to the door of your bedside table, open the jar of jam you brought for tea, press the zipper on your boot, see what happened to your computer, hang up a new one painting in your bedroom. Start with the simple, move on to the complex, and it’s yours.
When you realize that the client is “ripe”, arrange a meeting with him in an informal setting. A good option is a general business trip. You can invite them to the cinema, theater or football, since “a friend refused, and there was an extra ticket.”
If you need video instructions on female pickup, we suggest watching the film “The Most Charming and Attractive.” Even if you don’t recognize yourself in his heroine, just enjoy watching a good movie.
blinking
When a person looks at something he likes, his pupils dilate and his eyes begin to blink involuntarily. This happens because the human brain associates blinking with sexual attractiveness.
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However, this can be used for your own purposes. When talking to a handsome man, lower your eyelashes more often than usual. His brain considers this information and forces him to mirror what he sees. As a result, you will both feel more confident and more attractive to each other.
If your neighbor at the table blinks frequently in your direction, he's probably fascinated, unless he's suffering from a nervous tic.
If a girl likes a girl, what should she do?
Traditional marriage and traditional relationships are the most common in our society, but they are by no means the only ones. The world is actively being rebuilt, but in some countries the recognition of unusual sympathies is still far away. And if a representative of the fair sex suddenly realized that she liked a girl, what should she do?
Hobby for members of the same sex is as old as the world and is repeatedly found in ancient literature and painting. However, if in ancient Greece and Rome they wisely allowed a person to follow his own sympathies and preferences, today the world is divided into ardent supporters of “for” and “against”.
Such stratification affected not only certain sections of society, but also the entire planet as a whole - in many countries of America and Western Europe, non-traditional couples are not something out of the ordinary and worthy of legal punishment or verbal condemnation, while in the Middle East In the East, such sympathy can be punishable up to the death penalty.
Slavic countries do not go to extremes on this issue - there is no legislative prosecution, but same-sex relationships are not approved and can cause an unexpected reaction from ardent supporters of traditional relationships.
In this regard, it makes sense to evaluate your place of residence and surroundings before letting your friends know about your likes and preferences - not everyone will be able to understand and react normally. And the fact that the girl liked the girl, perhaps, is better not to advertise - the life of both will be calmer.
There is no need to alarm your acquaintances with an out-of-the-ordinary fact (and for most this is still the case) if the goal is not to attract attention to one’s own person and the desire to become the epicenter of surrounding gossip, as often happens in small provincial towns.
In addition, the chosen one herself may not know what someone likes, and receiving this information through third parties will be, at a minimum, unpleasant for her, not to mention the fact that all previous communication will be at risk.
The most important thing to understand in such a situation is that falling in love with a girl is normal, everyone is free to choose whoever they like, and the imposed stereotype that this is a deviation, a deviation of behavior, should in no way influence the decisions of the heart.
Relationships between representatives of the same sex are characterized by greater spirituality, similarity of interests and hobbies. Girls feel beauty most subtly, and, not finding understanding in gender-traditional relations, they turn their attention to girls. As a rule, this is not just some abstract girl, but a well-known friend or acquaintance who understands best, cares best of all, is ready to support, help, cheer up.
She seems to unconsciously take the first step, pushing towards reciprocity; Another question is how to understand that a girl likes you, or this is how she expresses her friendship. Here it is better to find out from her herself, carefully, with leading questions, ask about the reasons for this behavior.
A direct statement or a direct question can confuse and frighten; perhaps she herself has not yet realized why she acts this way and not otherwise, and sincerely believes that she is refusing a date with a smart, handsome guy for the sake of gatherings with a friend “for old times’ sake.” , and not because she finds it easier, more fun, or enjoys spending time with her friend
And when one of them begins to understand what is happening, it is wiser to lend a helping hand and let the other figure it out on her own, rather than be taken aback and risk losing even friendship.
Many cultural and artistic figures (Marina Tsvetaeva, Oscar Wilde, Marlene Dietrich, Salvador Dali, Elton John, P. I. Tchaikovsky, Sappho) were in same-sex relationships, but this did not stop them from showing the world the masterpieces of their creativity, quite the contrary.
But what can you do to make a girl like you if she doesn’t share your feelings and continues to date a guy or another girl? The first case is on the one hand a little simpler, but you should be patient. First you need to make friends with her. Communicate closely, spend a lot of time together, share interests. In such a situation, the boyfriend is unaware of the direct danger to his status and can only express his displeasure that his lady spends more time with her friend than with him, but the thought that she might prefer the girl to him does not even arise.
When the relationship becomes close enough, she herself will make a choice, and it is not in favor of young people. If the girl you like already has a friend with whom she is paired, you will have to act a little more carefully. The fact is that a woman’s ego is different from a man’s, and even if a guy doesn’t even think that he will be exchanged for a girl, the woman very closely monitors the development of the relationship. Then an overzealous attempt to make friends will be perceived as a direct threat to their union and will not end well.
In this case, it is worth communicating with both – the chosen one and her friend, although this is by no means easy. Nontraditional couples, as a rule, are not jealous of a mutual friend, unlike the suddenly active friends of each individual. The chances of success here are less than in the case of a young man, but they exist, and sooner or later the girl you like will have a choice - who to prefer. Sometimes men ask the question, “How can a guy like a girl who prefers girls?”
At first glance, everything is complicated, but a person often tends to love another person not for his appearance, but for his multifaceted inner world, and whether it is a girl or a young man usually turns out to be not so important. Therefore, we can safely say that interesting young people with a broad outlook and creative potential have more weight than some ordinary lady in the eyes of a girl who prefers non-traditional relationships.
This is why bisexuality is much more common than homo, and slightly less common than hetero. It should be noted that these are general tips, and whether or not to apply them directly depends on the girl you like and the efforts that can be made for her sake.
Thus, no matter who you like and no matter how the relationship develops, it is important to remember that a dear person is in no way an “individual” of the male or female gender, but first of all an individual with his own inner world and the right to choose.
And, in fact, it is not so important whether a girl likes a guy or another girl; it is better to consider her chosen one or chosen one as a person whom she can make happy, bring into this world, perhaps a little unusual, but joy.
Preening
The next one logically follows from the previous point. When an interesting person appears in the visual zone, both men and women begin to adjust their clothes, hairstyle, glasses and everything else.
The stronger sex tends to smooth (or fluff, depending on the style) their hair, pull up their shirt collar, tighten or, conversely, loosen their tie a little.
Mirroring
Do you still remember about blinking? Then the next point is for you. Just as children imitate the facial expressions, speech and mannerisms of their parents, lovers unconsciously strive to resemble each other.
This is the fastest and surest way to let individuals of the opposite sex know that you would have good offspring. Before you realize it, you will be simultaneously throwing your arms back, touching your forehead, or scratching the bridge of your nose.
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What will attract her?
If you persistently follow the following tips, the flow of female attention to your personality will never dry up:
Develop adequate self-esteem
Understand that high self-esteem must be supported by something. Get real knowledge and learn to apply it in practice. The feeling of self-worth also increases in the process of developing positive character traits. For feedback and constructive criticism, contact authoritative people. After working on your self-esteem, you will become noticeable and attractive.
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Learn emotional openness
Emotional openness is not a weakness, as is commonly believed. On the contrary, mature, confident and courageous people have this ability. Being “open” means:
- understand your own desires and feelings and speak directly about them;
- recognize the emotions and needs of others and be able to reflect them in the correct form;
- have the skill of empathy, i.e. be able to empathize.
You may ask, how can you develop these skills? Work on your own powers of observation, read psychological books about emotions, watch and analyze films, go to group trainings.
Train your communication skills
What you need to do to learn how to communicate with the opposite sex:
- when talking, look into her eyes;
- listen to her carefully, do not be distracted or interrupt;
- observe intonations, gestures and facial expressions, analyze her behavior;
- note her real advantages, praise, give compliments;
- if she needs support, try to understand her feelings and choose encouraging words;
- in conversation, use only reliable information;
- say only what is relevant to the topic being discussed;
- express your thoughts consistently;
- be polite and friendly;
- ask clarifying questions;
- Watch your time: don't talk for too long.
These techniques will help you learn to be flexible and pleasant to talk to.
Offer help
Even if a girl is strong and independent, she will still be pleased to receive help from you. Maybe you are good at technology, construction, or know how to repair furniture? In general, first show how you can be useful. Then she herself will contact you. You will become indispensable.
Show respect
What is "respect"? This means, first of all, respecting other people's psychological boundaries. That is, you must learn to appreciate a girl’s personal space, under no circumstances be rude to her, react normally to refusals, and try to understand her.
Earn trust
No, this is not the same as “earning your way into someone’s trust.” You're not a fraudster. Everything should be for real: be sincere in your words and actions, don’t be afraid to talk about personal topics. She should feel that she is safe next to you, and that you will not betray her.
Learn self control
Learn to control your negative emotions. Angry? Scream in the forest, be alone with yourself and beat a pillow, tear up paper. Do you often feel uncontrollable anger? Go to a psychologist, there's nothing wrong with that. The main thing is not to take out your aggression on the girl.
Develop your intelligence and sense of humor
The smarter you are, the sharper and more subtle your jokes. Girls are very attracted to charming and intelligent men who also know how to joke well. What should you do to develop your intelligence:
- read fiction books and analyze them;
- study scientific research;
- watch documentaries, original films;
- solve puzzles and mathematical problems, play chess;
- develop memory (for example, you can learn poetry);
- go to theaters and museums;
- travel, study other people's cultural characteristics.
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Overall, get as much valuable information as possible. You will become much more interesting and smarter, and at the same time you will learn to joke well. The entire female half of humanity will absolutely be impressed by the conversation with you.
Set yourself a goal
You may ask, how can you get a girl to run after you like this? It’s very simple: the more interesting your plans are, which she knows about, the more attractive you will look in her eyes. Just remember that the goal must be realistic and achievable. And don't stop at just one. The more aspirations you have, the better.
Learn to be a leader
This means being self-sufficient, proactive and decisive. Leaders can be different: tyrants, including. It is still recommended to choose a democratic strategy. You must learn to make your own decisions, but at the same time take into account women's opinions.
Start living a healthy lifestyle
If you are not a follower of a healthy lifestyle, then it’s time to start being one. What does this mean? No matter how hard it is, quit smoking, drink less alcohol, play sports, eat healthy food. You will start to look much better and have a positive attitude. No girl will definitely miss such a guy.
Stop being jealous and controlling
Instead of making a scandal, remember your self-control, breathe out and take a break. Find out if there is a real reason for jealousy? If there is, talk to your lady openly. If not, continue to work on your self-esteem.
Give up obsession
Emotional dependence on a girl will lead to the fact that she will run away, and you will catch up. Start controlling your impulses: write and call infrequently and to the point, don’t drop everything to meet her. For her to run after you, you need to be a little removed from the relationship. Just don’t forget about her: if you stop communicating and dating her, she will leave your life.
Find a passion or hobby
A hobby can be anything, as long as it is truly interesting to you. Having a hobby will make life brighter, which means you will be attractive to women.
Be punctual and collected
Everything is simple here: don’t be late and don’t fuss. Prepare for meetings in advance, start a diary, plan your day, get enough sleep, leave early. Women appreciate punctual, collected and organized men.
Why are you unlucky in love?
Show attention
The only condition is that everything should be in moderation. Don't overwhelm her with stuffed animals and unnecessary trinkets. Find out her interests and sometimes give her something she might like.
Strive for more earnings
Women need financial stability, so they are more willing to be attracted to successful men. Find something you love. If you go to a well-paid job as if it were hard labor, it will affect your mood.
Watch your appearance
Figure out what you would like to say with your appearance? Then create an image for yourself and start sticking to it. This applies to hairstyles, selection of clothes, shoes and accessories. The main thing is that you look presentable and neat. Otherwise, everything is banal: train your muscles, take care of your skin and oral hygiene, wash twice a day, wear perfume.
Get better at sex
After sex, girls tend to become emotionally attached to their partner. But don't think that all women want the same thing in bed. Ask her what she likes and what she doesn’t. And remember that touching and caresses play a huge role. After you show yourself to be a good lover, she herself will seek repeat meetings.
Teasing
Or makes sarcastic jokes. Or trying in every possible way to offend. Grown men are just boys in big bodies. They still haven’t forgotten how they pulled the ponytails of a pretty classmate or tried to throw a heavier textbook at her.
The shoulders became wider, the voice rougher, the manners more graceful, but the habits remained. Despite the fact that most men understand intellectually that it is almost impossible to get a woman through ridicule, the brain plays a cruel joke on them, thus masking sympathy and self-doubt.
How to cope with a situation when you fall in love with a girl at work?
Of course, if the love is not unrequited, then everything is wonderful, and your communication will probably become even more vibrant and sensual. But don’t forget that rare relationships last forever, and if you break up on bad terms, you can always expect punishment. If the declaration of love was unsuccessful or you realized that there is no need to do this, the best thing is to engage in self-realization.
It’s easy to analyze: if you experience such acute and strong feelings for one person whom you see regularly, then this clearly indicates a lack of communication. Due to a certain isolation from interesting, creative and sincerely disposed people, it is not surprising that you cannot stop thinking about the only person available and pleasant to you.
It’s worth thinking about expanding your social circle, trying to take courses in a foreign language, drawing, dancing, or improving your profession. Use your imagination, remember what you wanted to learn as a child, but didn’t have the opportunity.
Almost any hobby that is truly exciting for you can improve both your mood and state of mind. In addition, in the process you can meet like-minded people, and again receive a charge of positivity and warmth from communication. After talking with other people, you will feel that you don’t need to cling so tightly to your passion. Life is beautiful and amazing in itself, regardless of the presence or absence of any person in it.
Attracting attention
The man from the book on popular psychology that you read at night gives the woman he likes flowers, invites her for coffee and gives compliments. Real life men often do things completely differently.
Some of them sit in their chairs, stubbornly staring at the computer and praying that you will speak first or at least pass by his office. Others, when an attractive woman appears, take out clubs from their bosoms and begin to juggle, do handstands, or at least demonstrate miracles of sleight of hand. Both are confident that they attract attention.
Therefore, be observant and monitor any changes in behavior.
Cloth
However, the surest way to understand how much your colleague likes you is to be alone with him in the right place and at the right time. A cold office, rainy evening and other inclement weather conditions are also suitable. If a man offers his jacket (coat, jacket) to a chilled girl, it means that he is clearly uneasy about her: psychologists say that this is a gesture of possessiveness full of sexuality.
Do you start relationships at work or is it bad manners?
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If you are embarrassed to take initiative, you need to approach it from the other side. How to interest a male colleague in this case?
The first thing that will help you is social networks. First, ask to be your friend - you are colleagues and there is nothing strange in this gesture. Secondly, this is an excellent reason to explore his hobbies, interests, tastes, and vacation spots. Look where the guy spends his free time, what girls he likes, what he likes to listen to. This will be useful to you in the future. Thirdly, by liking or commenting under the photo, evaluate his attitude towards you.
Have you checked your profile? Start going to the same gym, grocery store, club, cafe. There is nothing to be ashamed of, even if it does not bring the desired result, you will correct your figure, dance for pleasure, eat deliciously. Keep track of which girls are his type, sometimes it’s not difficult to attract a colleague, you just need to change your hair color.
Find out if the man you like is ready to communicate. To understand this, comment or rate the photo you like. Emphasize the beauty of the landscape, give an unobtrusive compliment, and admire the action in the photo. For example: “Oh, where did you find such beauty? Reveal the secret, otherwise I’ll have a vacation soon!”, “You look very organic here. You don’t need to work in the analytics department, but to conquer the oceans!”, “I would never have thought that in the evenings you turn into a singer. There’s a corporate party coming up, I remember you.” If he laughs it off, gets embarrassed, thanks him, strikes up a conversation, likes your posts, visits your page, you’ve managed to interest your colleague.
A business trip is a great way to bring people together. If you really like him, try through the HR department (or directly from your manager) to arrange for you to spend time together at work. There is no need to do anything special during the trip, the main thing is a friendly attitude, natural behavior and free communication. In the evening you can relax under the pretext of a productive end to the day. Act according to the circumstances.
To interest a man you like at work, self-development will help. Colleagues love to communicate with successful, creative, smart girls, so take care of yourself. Become proactive, attend additional courses, work on public speaking, learn a foreign language. You will be noticed, praised, encouraged. The mind is a great reason to attract attention!
In pursuit of the attention of a male colleague, too much change will only cause bewilderment or laughter. Adapt to his preferences, but always remain yourself.
