Relationships with a married man rarely give positive results: you remain in the role of a mistress, but even if he leaves the family, there is an eternal fear that one day this will happen to you. It is better to nip such love in the bud: even when you allow a small affair, try not to count on something serious, because life goes on and you need to move on.
Not knowing how to stop loving a married man, seek the help of psychologists. Their advice will help you out in a difficult situation, help you understand yourself and find the strength to move on with your life. Source: Flickr (Halina_Reshetova)
Take a break
There is no need to run with a bottle of champagne to your friend in a crying, stuttering, suffering voice to complain and tell her what a jerk her husband is and that he is cheating. It’s rare that a friend will sympathize and understand your problem. There is an 80% chance that on the same day half the city will learn about your tragedy. A true friend is the one who will listen silently without any conclusions or strict verdicts towards her goat husband)), pour hot cocoa, hug her and say that everything will be fine and everything will work out. The most important thing is not to interfere with your parents, and especially his parents. I think it’s better to find “free ears” - these are complete strangers, of whom there are plenty on the Internet. Psychologists call this the “phenomenon of network thinking”; by telling about your situation (perhaps anonymously this will allow you to be more open) to many unfamiliar women, you will receive many different opinions. Among them will be words of support, similar stories, other people’s experiences, and most importantly, specific, often very useful advice. Understanding that this situation happened not only to you makes life easier.
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How to get rid of a married lover
The best way would be to make a decision irrevocably and break up immediately and forever. Change your phone number, give him through your friends all the things that you may have. If possible, change your job, or at least go on a long vacation. The most important thing is not to give him the opportunity to meet you again under any pretext. If you know the places where he visits most often, try to avoid them.
However, if everything is not so simple and you cannot break off the relationship in one fell swoop, you can act gradually and cut off the dog’s tail in parts. There may be different methods. But the best of them are those that act on your friend so that he himself decides to break up with you. And why create problems for yourself when you can create them for him, right?
To get rid of your lover, hint to him that it’s time for you to somehow legitimize your relationship. Tell him that you are tired of sharing him with your wife and that you are jealous. Give him scenes with tears and hysterics more often.
Demand that he spend more money on you. Say that you urgently need to completely change your wardrobe or that you need a new car. If he agrees to give you the required amount, demand even more on your next date.
It is possible that after this you will not see him for a very long time. But that’s exactly what you need, isn’t it?
Tell him that you have long dreamed of having a child with him. And discuss what name to give the future boy. Or to a girl. Doesn't matter. The main thing is that he understands that your intention is serious and he will not be able to dissuade you.
Attend all corporate parties and picnics with him. Demand extra attention. Be loudly indignant that he forgot to call you last night before going to bed. Don’t forget to send him at least a dozen SMS every day, or even better, call him constantly, especially knowing for sure that he is at home. This will definitely help you get rid of your lover.
Act in this direction and be sure that in a maximum of a month you will not see him again.
Go to a psychologist
Of course, the ideal option is to visit a psychologist together, because this kind of consultation will be useful for both you and your loved one. Psychologists, they don’t give advice, they don’t evaluate your behavior, they help you survive the situation, understand yourself, figure out what you really want. You may have to completely reconsider your life values of the institution of your marriage and re-answer the question, why do you need a marriage with this man? I think with such psychological support, restoration of relationships will be more effective.
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Advice from a psychologist: how to forget and stop loving a married man
Not knowing how to stop loving a married man, seek the help of psychologists. Their advice will help you out in a difficult situation, help you understand yourself and find the strength to move on with your life.
If you love him, how to survive the pain of parting
How to forget a married man? To do this, follow the recommendations:
- Analyze the situation. If your partner has not left his wife during your relationship, it means he loves her. It is unlikely that you will be able to destroy such a relationship, no matter how sad it may be for you.
- Make sure the man is happy. This method is quite cruel, but effective. Just go to his house incognito, see that he feels great with his wife - you won’t be able to break this happiness.
- Find a new hobby for yourself - let it be fitness, work, a fan, or relaxing with friends. Immerse yourself in something you enjoy and you will find that it gets easier over time.
- Think about the shortcomings of your boyfriend, about how you had to hide from your wife, how sad it was to sit alone on March 8th, watching him leave for her. Do you need such feelings? Maybe you should find a more worthy company for yourself?
- Change yourself and change your environment. Take time off on vacation or on a business trip, get a new hairstyle, renovate your apartment, get rid of photos taken together. Make sure that nothing reminds you of your past relationship.
If you are married yourself
It is easier for a married lady to survive the bitterness of separation: there is someone nearby who will console you in difficult times and show love. Think about why you got married, what advantages your spouse has, how unfair you are treating him. Try to find something new in a relationship, to rekindle the extinguished spark. Relax together, spend time, try to look beautiful just for your husband.
This is interesting! If you and your husband have sincere feelings, think about the child: the appearance of a new family member will relieve difficult thoughts.
It’s better to turn your attention to other hobbies, spend time usefully, and if all else fails, visit a psychologist. Source: Flickr (Matt_Haddaway)
If he left you and doesn't love you
Wasting your precious time on a busy gentleman is already a mistake, and if he doesn’t love you yet, it’s a doubly mistake. Most likely, you were just a temporary option for him. If a guy is cheating on his wife left and right, think about why you need such a flighty and irresponsible person. The main thing is not to get discouraged, or at least pretend that you feel comfortable. Over time, everything will return to normal, and not a trace will remain of the old feelings.
Take care of yourself
Of course, your scourge prevents you from thinking and reasoning calmly and soberly. You do not let go of the thought of what pushed your husband onto the path of infidelity. In fact, the focus of your attention is on your husband, his feelings and actions. Instead, psychologists urgently demand that you take care of yourself. Focus on your feelings and unfulfilled desires that have been forgotten, hidden and thrown on the far shelves of your subconscious. Playing sports is a good cure for depression and is very good for the body. If you want to leave, go away, see interesting places, go to the cinema with your children or with a friend. Draw pictures if you have talent and skills. If you want to change your image, change it. But be careful in your efforts...don't overdo it. But not in order to show or prove something to her husband, but only for herself.
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Recommendations on how to leave a married man and start a new life
Often something separates you from taking a decisive step. You don’t know how to leave a married man, you’re worried that you’ll be left alone. In this case, psychologists also stocked up with advice:
- Talk to a friend who didn't like your man, let her tell you about his negative qualities if you haven't noticed them before.
- See for yourself that the chosen one is far from ideal - his cowardice and duplicity alone are worth breaking up with.
- Take up your hobby or pay attention to other men, arrange a fun vacation for yourself, visit stores without answering your boyfriend’s phone calls.
- Just break all ties with him - change your contacts, address of residence and work, under no circumstances allow yourself to show weakness and meet him again.
- Create a scandal by demanding that you make a choice: if a man doesn’t love you, he will disappear on his own.
- Pretend to be sick - at first your companion will care, but soon he will simply dissolve and stop answering calls. This means that there was no love for you at all.
Now you know how to get rid of love for a married man - a relationship that in most cases is doomed to failure from the very beginning. This is not so difficult to do, because your boyfriend is far from ideal, and only disappointment and pain await you with him. It’s better to turn your attention to other hobbies, spend time usefully, and if all else fails, visit a psychologist.
New present and past
The most important part of a healthy family relationship is that spouses have a common past: happy events, travel and walks, experiences you had together, intimate space, words of love and affectionate nicknames. But in order to overcome the crisis and trouble in your relationship, you will have to re-create your common space, a new world that will be deeper, more interesting and fabulously kind. Get new common experiences: go to the cinema, bowling, go fishing together, but at the same time follow all the rules of fishing. Plan a trip for two - and better not to the place where you spent your honeymoon.
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Think about family
When you are trying to forget your mistress, one of the surest steps is to plunge back into family relationships.
Look at your wife from a different angle. Try to notice something that you have never noticed before. After all, destroying a family is forever.
I'm not saying that only the husband should do something in the relationship. It is always the work of both partners. Do you talk to your spouse often? Not about the child’s future kindergarten and what to buy in the store, but heart-to-heart, about your dreams and fantasies, about inner experiences and fears.
It is necessary to share with a person, open yourself and try to understand the other. Only then is normal contact with this person possible.
I know that men often do not take such words seriously. To them such conversations seem like empty chatter, a waste of time. But try it. Open up to your wife. Trust and learn to trust her.
Raising a family is a difficult task and not everyone copes with it. Start treating your spouse like a lover. Do not think that you are bound by marriage and a stamp in your passport. She is an ordinary girl/woman. Love her. Fall in love with her again. Think about what will happen if she is gone tomorrow?
Sex
The most sensitive part of this article is the topic of sex. In rare cases, cheating becomes a reason to “refresh” your sex life and add brighter shades to it. Take your time, and especially don’t start experimenting in bed. It’s just that now you will have to go through all the stages again on the path to harmony. Give your husband the opportunity to prove his love to you again, but wait until the moment when physical contact with him does not cause you tears and rejection.
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Disadvantages of having a love affair with a married man
First of all, you need to write down on paper all the shortcomings of your relationship. The main thing is their unpredictability. This does not mean at all that the man will decide to take you on a trip or arrange a surprise. Prepare for the sudden cancellation of dates, the destruction of carefully thought-out plans. Due to the existence of the family, the lover will not be able to organize meetings regularly. In relationships with him, it is not uncommon for dates to be arranged at the last minute without warning. Do you need it?
Another disadvantage of the role of a mistress is that few of her relatives will support the choice of a relationship with a married man. You will have to constantly hide it. There will also be no opportunity to meet friends or relatives of your loved one. Also, get ready to play a supporting role, to live in the “shadow”.
The holidays await you alone; your lover will not leave his family to celebrate Christmas, New Year, or his birthday with you.
The next disadvantage is that if you don’t have friends, loneliness will be more painful. Are these not enough arguments to stop loving a man?
Psychologists are convincing in their advice; in their opinion, it is better to leave your lover and find a new guy whom you can love openly.
