Depression in adolescents and children - recommendations from a psychologist

Children and adolescents are one of the most psychologically vulnerable groups due to their undeveloped and unstable psyche. Adolescents and children are more susceptible to depression than adults, and the consequences of depression are even more dangerous.

Just 20 years ago, childhood depression was denied by psychologists and psychiatrists. Then they were considered as reactions of mature or maturing individuals. However, it is now known that active assimilation of the world and oneself is the basis for anxieties and fears, which often give rise to childhood depression.

Infancy

Depression of the first year of life, or analytical depression caused by separation from the mother. A child under one year old is not considered in psychology as an independent subject; they consider the “child-mother” dyad, a kind of single organism. If separation from the mother occurred in the second half of the first year of life, then there is a high risk of depression. The following signs allow you to suspect it:

outwardly expressed sadness;
autism;
apathy;
inability to feel pleasure and experience joy;
psychomotor retardation;
irritability.

The child has difficulty making contact, his facial expression is distant, his eyes are wide open. Psychosomatic disorders are increasing: problems with sleep, feeding (sucking), disorders of the gastrointestinal tract. Without treatment, the condition quickly worsens, within 5 months the child falls into insanity, mental functions regress, and death occurs.

Signs of depression in teenagers ↑

Most often, the presence of mental ill-being is indicated by the same physical manifestations as in a normal illness:

Lack of appetite . If a teenager does not eat enough, he is not necessarily sick. The concern should be a sharp and prolonged decrease in the amount of food eaten, and a lack of interest in your favorite dishes.
General lethargy, loss of strength . The teenager does not want to do things that he usually took on with enthusiasm: he does not pay attention to hobbies, does not communicate with friends.
Insomnia or, conversely, drowsiness.
Headache , disruption of the gastrointestinal tract, weakened immunity.

The behavior of a teenager also indicates depression. You need to start worrying if your child:

cries often, is sad every day;
talks about his uselessness, that everything is stupid and useless;
suffers from excessive feelings of guilt, takes any failure to heart;
does not want to leave the house and communicate;
irritable, angry and hostile for no apparent reason, and has a hatred for the well-being of others;
cannot concentrate, does not work as well as usual;
shows interest in tragic and dark subjects, paintings, and music.

Tired of life in bright colors? Learn how to become deeply depressed. What books against depression are especially popular? Read on.

A depressed teenager has difficulty making decisions. At the age of 16, a person decides on his specialty and prepares for admission. A depressed teenager shows no interest in his future, he is indifferent or extremely negative towards all proposals.

Early age

Children of early preschool age suffer from fleeting, seemingly groundless depression. At the same time, the depressed state is barely noticeable. The behavior is characterized by nervousness, the development of emotionally obsessive states, motor and autonomic reactions is possible.

At 2-3 years of age, depression is accompanied by:

slowdown in mental, intellectual and speech development;
loss of acquired age-related skills, developmental regression;
frequent crying;
sad facial expression;
avoiding eye contact;
bad habits for the purpose of self-soothing or stereotypical behavior (thumb sucking, self-sickness);
self-harm;
attachment to adults (“hangs” on an adult);
violation of attachments, talking about oneself in the third person, calling parents by name.

I'm a teenager and right now I'm contemplating committing suicide.

Be sure to talk to someone! If negative feelings become so unbearable that you can't find any solution other than self-harm, you need immediate help! We understand that the decision to apply for it may not be easy for you, but it is truly very important! You need to turn to someone you trust, such as a friend, family member, teacher. If you have no one to discuss your problem with, share with our specialists who are ready to listen - call the hotline:

8 800 2000 122 - hotline for psychological assistance to children, adolescents and their parents, 24 hours a day.
8 emergency psychological assistance center of the Ministry of Emergency Situations.
8 children's helpline of the Moscow Department of Education, 24 hours a day.
051 from the city center or +7 495 051 (MTS, MegaFon, Beeline, Tele2) - emergency psychological help telephone number of the Moscow service for psychological assistance to the population.
8 hotline for teenagers and their parents in St. Petersburg.

Don’t forget also about emergency medical services (103) and emergency services (112).
Whatever your situation, remember that there is another solution, even if you don't see it right now. Having thoughts about harming yourself or others does not make you a bad person. The disease can make you think and feel things that were previously unusual. If your feelings are uncontrollable, try to wait another 24 hours before taking action, and during this time, do not isolate yourself and be sure to talk to someone. Tags:

Depression
Children
Teenagers
Psyche

Senior preschool age

The signs of the previous age period remain, but delirium is added to them. Children 4-5 years old with depression suffer primarily from autonomic disorders: problems with digestion, cardiovascular system, breathing, thermoregulation; sleep and appetite disorders. Along with this we observe:

lethargy;
absent-mindedness;
passivity, lack of initiative;
indifference to games;
tearfulness;
joylessness;
suicidal tendencies such as asking the mother “Why did you give birth to me?”

Children 6-7 years old do not verbalize their negative emotions, but one can suspect a child’s depression and anxiety due to atypical silence, a gloomy appearance, loss of usual interests, and a sad appearance. Along with this it is noted:

unsociability;
coldness;
the desire for loneliness, but at the same time a feeling of anxiety when separated;
loss of childish spontaneity;
irritability;
vague somatic sensations;
nightmares;
fears.

Sudden mood swings in men and women, teenagers. Their reasons

Mood swings are a reaction to neurophysiological changes in the body, a response to hormonal changes. But fluctuations in hormonal levels can occur for various reasons. This can be either a character trait (such people are called “mood people”) or a symptom of a mental disorder or physical illness.

What are mood swings

Mood is the emotional background of a person. Mood is different from emotions, feelings and affects. This is a prolonged emotional reaction of low intensity. However, due to mental or physiological reasons, the background sometimes becomes unstable.

Mood swings may occur several times during the day or once every couple of weeks. This can be fluctuations from tears to laughter or from activity to passivity, from aggression to goodwill.

What is characteristic of mood swings:

unpredictability;
lack of control;
independence from situations.

A person feels like he is on a swing. One minute he can be inspired, cheerful and active, and the next he can be depressed and despairing, crying or angry.

He is either overly vulnerable and touchy, or cold and distant. Mood swings reduce the quality of life and spoil relationships with others.

Living with such a person is not easy, and it’s hard for him to bear it, the changes are tiring.

If mood swings have not been observed before and are not an individual norm for a person (for example, choleric people have a changeable, hot-tempered temperament), then you need to pay attention to this and try to understand the reasons.

Physiological reasons

Mood swings can be caused by mental and physical reasons. The latter include:

dementia;
meningitis;
stroke;
brain tumors;
diseases of the liver or gall bladder (spasm of the bile ducts provokes the production of the hormone of anger, norepinephrine);
disorders in the cardiovascular system that increase adrenaline levels;
impaired functioning of the thyroid gland.

With pathologies of the thyroid gland, the level of hormones can be increased or decreased, and also fluctuate between low and high values. When hormone levels are reduced, a person's reactions slow down. He becomes lethargic, apathetic, and gets tired quickly. At elevated levels, irritability, aggressiveness, and hysteria are observed.

Psychological reasons

Common psychological causes, regardless of gender or age, include:

depression;
stress;
physical and intellectual fatigue;
lack of sleep;
bipolar disorder;
affective disorder;
anxiety disorder;
intrapersonal crisis;
addiction to psychoactive substances;
abuse of coffee, chocolate and similar products;
hunger, strict diets;
binge eating;
eating disorder;
emotional burnout;
conflicts at work or in the family;
inability to live in the present (memories of the tragic past or dreams of a happy future with a further return to reality can traumatize a person and spoil the mood);
unmet needs;
lack of attention or love;
dissatisfaction with life and work.

In addition, mood swings can be caused by taking hormonal drugs (including birth control) and medications, especially antidepressants. Some psychoactive drugs are addictive; without them, the brain stops producing joy hormones, and the balance is disrupted. Drugs that correct the functioning of the cardiovascular system can have a similar effect.

If you are taking any medications, you should urgently consult the doctor who prescribed them. If you are self-medicating, you need to stop it and consult a specialist.

In men

In men, there are no specific causes of mood swings, except perhaps low testosterone levels. And from the point of view of psychology, the reasons are the same as those we classified as general. However, more often the condition is caused by suppression of emotions and feelings, and overwork.

Gender stereotypes prohibit men from showing emotions and admitting their fatigue. But there are a lot of demands and responsibilities.

Difficulties at work and at home, combined with suppressed emotions and unmet needs, result in emotional instability.

Among women

The causes of mood swings in women also do not differ from the general ones. Specific causes include pregnancy, menopause, and premenstrual syndrome (PMS).

There is no consensus in psychology about the normality of this condition. Some psychologists classify PMS as a psychosomatic illness.

If each menstruation is accompanied by unpleasant psychophysiological symptoms, then you should definitely visit a psychologist and gynecologist.

In teenagers

Mood swings are normal for teenagers. This is a specific feature of adolescence, a consequence of the hormonal storm that occurs during this period. However, it is necessary to assess the teenager’s condition as a whole.

If other signs of adolescence are not observed (have already passed), and mood swings were not noticed before, then you need to visit a doctor.

Perhaps in this case this is no longer the norm, but a violation caused by one of the common causes (stress, overwork, frustration, etc.).

How to fight

Try to identify factors that are associated with mood swings. Keep a diary in which you will record the frequency of changes, the events preceding them, their duration, and the conditions for changing your mood to a positive one. After identifying stress factors, you need to work on eliminating each of them.

If it seems that there are no objective reasons, then you need to undergo a medical and psychological examination. The diary will be useful to you again. It will help collect anamnesis and record the dynamics of the emotional background. If the reason relates to psychiatry, then this will play an important role there. For example, with bipolar disorder, attacks of mania and apathy last about 2 weeks, but it all depends on the stage.

If you are sure that you are just tired, then try to change the environment. What else can you do:

exercise regularly;
Make sure your diet is balanced and complete;
take a course of vitamins;
relax and unwind;
find a hobby;
take a walk (fresh air and sunlight, as well as exercise, promote the production of dopamine and stabilize hormonal levels).

Correction of the condition must begin with identifying the cause. Remember that this can be either temporary fatigue or a mental disorder. If the symptoms are pronounced, changes interfere with leading a normal lifestyle, then you should definitely consult a psychologist. If he doesn’t see a problem in his area, he will refer you to another specialist.

If it's a character trait

Mood swings, or emotional lability, may be a personality trait. This is called a complex character. In this case, emotional instability is noticeable from childhood. The processes of inhibition and excitation level out gradually as the child grows and develops, and also depending on temperament and conditions of upbringing.

But sometimes the braking centers do not form or do not work properly. This happens for two reasons:

Neurotization of personality, in which the process of maturation of mental structures is distorted or slowed down.
Neurosis, which is a reaction to stress or psychological trauma.

Both cases can be corrected with psychotherapy, but depending on the cause, different treatment will be needed. In the first case, it is necessary to learn self-regulation, to independently “grow” the missing structures.

In the second case, it is necessary to find the root of the psychological trauma, get rid of the defense mechanism of regression, form conscious and mature reactions, eliminate the traumatic memory or stress factor.

Afterword

In psychology, mood swings are usually considered as a marker of a person’s personal ill-being. If the failures do not have a somatic basis, then we are talking about some kind of internal mental problem.

The human brain constantly processes information. We ourselves don’t notice what thoughts he misses. At a subconscious level, the brain can see some kind of problem.

We don’t have time to catch the thought itself, but we manage to react to it with a mood swing.

Source: //psychologist.tips/4545-rezkie-perepady-nastroeniya-u-muzhchin-i-zhenshhin-podrostkov-ih-prichiny.html

Junior school age

Previous behavioral characteristics and delusions increase, turning into bipolar disorder or emotional indifference as a disorder of the emotional-volitional sphere. Children are able to articulate their feelings; they record a bad mood, boredom, groundless guilt, and evaluate themselves negatively.

Fantasizing increases and academic performance suffers. Because of aggression and a blurred self-image, relationships with peers, teachers, and parents suffer. At this age, a signal of depressive and suicidal tendencies is the phrase “You will be better off without me,” addressed to your parents.

How to react to parents: general advice

Knowing the reasons why frequent mood swings occur in teenagers makes it easier to build relationships with your growing child. Psychologists advise during this difficult time:

remember that sooner or later puberty will end - this is a difficult time that you need to wait out, gathering your strength and trying not to aggravate the situation;
use your experience: adults were once teenagers themselves and can remember how they felt then, and the child is just learning to be an adult;
do not conflict, but unobtrusively share your experience;
provide the teenager with a personal space where parents will not have access; this should be a place in the apartment (his own room, and if this is not possible, at least part of the room), where he can do what he wants - decorate the walls with photographs of idols, paint wallpaper, etc. IMPORTANT: if the teenager has his own room , adults must enter there only with his permission.

Read here - aggressive behavior of a teenager : problem, causes, solutions.

Adolescence

Younger teenagers

At the age of 9-10, children experience neurotic depression, which is characterized by cumulative affective disorders that do not always correspond to the situation. There is melancholy, a feeling of depression, lack of freedom, “a hole in the soul.” Teenage depression is similar to adult depression in many ways. Behavioral disorders characteristic of this age are noted. Anxiety is added to the previous changes.

Typical symptoms of depression in younger adolescents include:

problems in learning and interpersonal relationships at school;
lethargy, “stuckness”, long, motionless sitting in one position;
deterioration in concentration;
lethargy;
passivity;
boredom;
irritation as a response to parents’ requests;
secret crying;
whims;
detachment;
feeling of rejection;
vague death wish.

Older teenagers

Anxiety, characteristic of younger adolescents, over 4-5 years turns into chronic anxious-melancholy depression, with frequent bouts of depression, independent of the conditions of the surrounding world. Dysthymia and cyclothymia develop.

The picture is complemented by the manifestation of the crisis of adolescence, in particular bipolarity (changeability and opposition) of moods:

vulnerability and ostentatious audacity;
shyness and cheekiness;
sensitivity and coldness;
independence and a strong desire to be noticed and recognized;
denial of authority and imitation of idols;
philosophizing and fantasizing.

Against the background of adolescent behavioral characteristics, asthenic and melancholic depression, dysphoric, somatized (psychosomatic) and associative-accelerated, develop. Depression caused by a reaction to a traumatic event (psychogenic) occurs with severe disorganization of mental processes and vegetative-vascular disorders. The consequence of crisis and depression is deviant behavior.

In older adolescents, both psychogenic and endogenous depression occur. Psychogenic adolescent depression is characterized by:

anxiety more often than lethargy;
an understandable decrease in mood;
trouble falling asleep;
lack of lethargy;
Mood swings occur, but depend on circumstances, and do not occur on their own during the day.

The main cause of psychogenic depression in adolescents is an identity crisis (who am I).

Signs of endogenous depression include:

unexplained decreased mood, depression;
lethargy or agitation;
lethargy;
weak reactions to external stimuli;
daily mood swings (mood improves in the evening);
decreased appetite;
sleep disturbance (problematic falling asleep and inability to fall asleep again, frequent awakenings, early awakening in a bad mood);
fatigue.

Adolescents with infantile-dependent and contradictory relationships with their parents, in particular with their mother, are prone to suicide. The situation is even more aggravated if the mother is depressed and suicidal. The child’s experiences are suppressed in the family, causing him to repress any negative experiences. They are not realized, but continue to influence.

Endogenous depression often makes itself felt precisely in adolescence, since at this moment the child’s need for self-knowledge, identification, and self-acceptance is actualized.

Types of depression

Signs of depression in teenagers can be completely different, depending on their temperament.

Often sociable and sociable teenagers develop indifference to friends, acquaintances and relatives. He may lose interest in activities that he previously enjoyed. Closed and shy teenagers completely lock themselves within four walls, they develop a fear of society, they cannot be in society. Deep stages of depression can manifest themselves as panic attacks - when your heart suddenly starts beating strongly, you can’t do anything and it’s difficult to breathe...

If you notice something similar in a teenager, bring it to the attention of his loved ones!

Youth (high school)

Teenage depression in youth takes on the following forms:

Apathetic form. The personality suffers from loss of mental strength and lack of interests. There is a lag in learning and apathy. The patient is able to spend the whole day in bed or in a cafe, does nothing, and stops taking care of his appearance. Deviations include drinking, hooliganism, and sexual promiscuity.
Opposition form. A young man is in conflict with his parents and teachers. Rebellious behavior, running away from home and hooliganism are observed. The young man does not perceive norms and rules. Self-aggression and behavior “out of spite” occur. Deviations – neglect of social responsibilities, training and work; self-harm, suicide attempts; alcoholism and drug addiction.
Ascetic form. The main sign is the rejection of an interesting and desired profession, self-development, love, and previous hobbies. A person does not believe in his own strengths, abilities, capabilities, prospects. He just goes with the flow. There is a disgust for oneself and life, a pessimistic view of the future, and the expectation of only failures. Self-denial and readiness for self-destruction are growing.
Labile form. It manifests itself as an alternation of bad mood and loss of strength with uplifting moods. Episodes last from several hours to several days. At the moment of recovery, the patient fools around, rebels, runs away from home in search of new sensations. The foundation of this behavior is a feeling of the meaninglessness of life and one’s own insignificance, an inferiority complex, and internal aggression. High risk of suicide.

The causes of teenage depression are loneliness due to low self-esteem. A person cannot independently break off a symbiotic relationship with his parents and overcome the fear of intimacy with other people.

Which doctor treats depression?

Psychiatrists, psychotherapists, and sometimes psychologists deal with depressive disorders. Unlike ARVI, which in most cases can be dealt with independently at home, depression requires mandatory medical supervision, since the causes of the disease are different. Hence the different treatment methods. As a rule, adolescents are prescribed medication, psychotherapy, and are also given recommendations for lifestyle changes. Normalizing sleep and wakefulness, sports, a balanced diet - all these simple things can really contribute to the fight against depressive disorder.

Types of childhood depression

The following types of depression are more common in childhood and adolescence:

Adynamic. Attention deteriorates, the child’s behavior requires control and stimulation, and performance decreases. The child refuses to attend school. But at home, children suffer from idleness, drowsiness (morning), anxiety and fears (evening), and hysterical reactions for the most insignificant reasons. In the evening, the mood rises and behavior becomes more animated. But it is precisely this activity that encourages children and adolescents to leave home and join antisocial companies. Being suggestible and led, teenagers easily find themselves in unpleasant situations. Due to behavioral disorders, the child is taken to a psychiatrist or psychologist.
Dysphoric. Dissatisfaction with people around you, irritability, anger, rage and aggression predominate. Children blame others for their troubles and feel undeserved resentment. As a consequence of this, they behave defiantly, rudely, and pugnaciously. Runaways from home and crimes have been reported. They don’t complain about their anger. Those around you are embarrassed by the child’s maladjustment at school, behavioral disorders, and addictions. The teenager is simply considered “difficult” and blamed on bad behavior rather than depression. This creates a high risk of suicide.
Psychopathic-like depression is masked behind accentuations and character pathologies, and problematic behavior. In fact, aggression, anger, hysteria, excitability, addictions are the child’s attempts to protect himself, get rid of traumatic feelings, and improve his condition. There is a very high risk of getting into antisocial company and addictive behavior: alcohol, drug addiction, smoking.
Unlust-depression. The child becomes gloomy and picky, he is dissatisfied with himself and those around him, he is hostile, distrustful of others and even close people. A person does not strive to have fun, he hates the whole world, he grumbles. But at the same time, the teenager does not feel a decline in mood. In relation to weak and defenseless people, hatred turns into humiliation and severe beatings. The child is withdrawn and drops out of school completely. At home he becomes a tyrant. Suicidal attempts often occur, and well-thought-out ones at that.
Asthenic-like. From the name it is clear that it is often confused with asthenia. The child is characterized by fatigue, irritation and exhaustion. Children report about their condition: they complain of headaches, fatigue, weakness, memory problems, intolerance to external stimuli (light, sound). Cognitive deterioration is expressed in the morning, and by the evening the child becomes very efficient and active. With asthenopodial depression, appetite decreases and sleep is disturbed. Children do not understand their mood well and can sometimes talk about boredom. A child is brought to a psychiatrist with suspicion of developmental delay, neurasthenia or asthenia.
Schoolchildren are more susceptible to depression. Mental retardation occurs: a sharp decline in academic performance, deterioration in the ability to assimilate new material, problems concentrating, memory deterioration. A child with suspected mental retardation is taken to a psychologist to study his level of intelligence.
Fearful depression. It is more common in preschoolers and younger schoolchildren. The whole life of a child is saturated with fears for himself and others. Fear intensifies in the evening and at night. Children are inhibited, whiny, anxious and sad. Parents take their child to a psychologist because they suspect autism.

Mood swings in teenagers: how to explain them

Still from the cartoon "The Incredibles"

The child has entered adolescence, and the house has turned into a battlefield? Teenagers are not as scary as they might seem. Our blogger, psychotherapist Tatyana Sabrekova talks about what happens to them and how to communicate with growing children.

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Either they scream, get angry, slam the door, then they cry and are sad, then they are tired and want to lie next to them, then again they prove something, wave their arms, argue... Is this normal? Why is this happening and when will it end?

For those who do not know how adolescence differs

Teenagers aged 10–13 years begin to change greatly in appearance. Growth does not occur gradually, as we would like, but in leaps and bounds. The body changes a lot: first the feet and palms stretch, then the arms, legs, and only then the hips and shoulders tighten. All this is very rapid and sudden, your child notices something new in himself almost every day.

Do you think this makes him feel at ease? No, not calm. There are many changes, they are different, not always understandable and pleasant, it is unclear when these changes will end and how to relate to them.

Author's comic

Think back to the first time as an adult you got a gray hair or a mole, wrinkles, or maybe a little belly from delicious food that wasn’t there before.

How did you react? It was unexpected, incomprehensible, you felt confused: you never thought that this would happen, but it happened. You are not ready, even if you were warned about it.

You just didn’t believe that this would happen to you.

This is even more common among teenagers, because they have such an internal structure: they must question everything and are confident in their immortality and static nature. “This may be true for others, but it certainly won’t happen to me.” They feel discomfort because they don't like the result.

It’s great to become beautiful and grown up at once, but what if you’re in an intermediate stage? It doesn't look or sound that cool

There are many changes, but it is unclear how to approach them. A teenager is very sensitive to criticism, especially when you or someone else talks about his appearance.

Absolutely all comments, even those made with good intentions (and we, adults, give just such), do not achieve the goal, do not bring relief or consolation to the child, but, on the contrary, traumatize him: “You are very slouched, straighten up!”, “Just don’t paint your eyes so much, it doesn’t suit you!”, “You have pimples on your forehead.”

Believe me, he knows about pimples, he carefully examines his body every day, notices everything and is rather inclined to criticize himself: “My hips are too big/narrow/ugly”, “I’m not as tall and strong as others”, “I have I have hair growing on my face, what a horror!”

Peers with the same problems often do not accept their rapidly changing appearance and project this onto their friends and classmates. Hence the unpleasant jabs, jokes, sarcasm and, as a result, the uncertainty that the child brings home.

During this period, his personality is still being formed; he is very dependent on assessments and opinions from the outside.

Any remark is accepted “as is”, without healthy criticism, so it is very easy to touch and offend such a person, especially to close people. The topic of appearance requires special reverence and delicacy.

Comparisons with other children are unpleasant: “Look, Ksyusha has such a posture!”, “And Pavlik is so handsome and his shoulders are so broad!”

What happens to the individual?

Teenage daughter Violet from the comic book and cartoon "The Incredibles"

Personality is a qualitatively different structure, unique and inimitable. We love when they tell us about uniqueness, there is so much selfhood and strength in this. But how does it form and grow? Mainly in conflicts, through separation and separation, or through identification, but the teenager chooses the object for this himself, and it is unlikely to be Ksyusha or Pavlik from the paragraph above.

The birth of a new personality and essentially a new person cannot take place any other way.

Previously, the child wanted to be obedient, to be liked, to be like adults in everything, but now he has his own opinion, his own emotions, his own views and interests. Now he feels like he's an adult.

This transformation happens quite strangely, as if a child was brought to you from another planet: “He was so obedient, but now... It’s as if this is not my child.”

Yours, only he is different. Not like you. You have to come to terms with this. He has to argue, prove, sometimes shout, because it is important for him to have his own opinion, it is important to be heard, it is important to be accepted.

He may be wrong about something - that's normal.

He does not know as much and on such a scale as you, but only begins to see situations more broadly, think about the consequences and feel responsibility, but this does not mean that he cannot have his own opinion.

He is looking for and ready to meet in a discussion, he is ardent, energetic, active - this means that he has vital energy and strength, he will be able to stand up for himself in the future and go his own way. Isn't that what you want?

Superhero Flash who moves fast

Often a teenager knows how to disperse and show emotions, but does not stop and slow down. What happens is that he cried, then talked about what was bothering him, and started again. Or he shouted, seemed to calm down - and then he shouts again about the same topic.

This is because he has not fully developed the skills of self-regulation, the ability to become actively excited, and then reduce it and calm down. He looks up behavioral techniques from his parents. He needs an adult nearby who knows how and can help him calmly slow down.

Try to notice how strongly you show emotions at home, how you stop, how you resolve conflict situations with your spouse. A teenager can absorb and copy all this.

Also, at the age of 11–13 years, a teenager is very immersed in his experiences, focused on himself and self-centered

He is interested in what is happening to him, but he is almost incapable of empathy and compassion towards others. He often imagines himself as an actor on stage or the author of a successful stand-up, he intensifies emotions, changes the timbre of his voice, speaks louder, he likes to be looked at and reacted to. He gets the attention he needs and becomes more confident.

"Iron Man", Robert Downey Jr.

He wants to decide everything, has a lot of freedom, feels like an adult, but often behaves like a child: he breaks agreements, doesn’t help around the house, doesn’t keep track of time, doesn’t study well, and so on. In general, does not take responsibility. This is a normal teenage desire.

A teenager often achieves the power to decide everything on his own through scandals and manipulations: “I won’t go to this damn camp!”, “I’m tired of everyone having smartphones, but I don’t!”, “Well, we won’t go to Lisa, but I promised!”

The child wants to stand on an equal footing with you, solve issues and problems at the same level, but he is not yet completely independent and is still just learning to take care of himself, program his actions and predict their consequences. He doesn’t earn money, doesn’t bring food into the house, doesn’t cook, doesn’t pay the rent.

A teenager should know what he can decide and what he can’t, where his point of view will be asked and where he won’t.

Changing the hierarchy structure in a family is a dangerous thing: the child wants to go to the top of the mountain, but it is sad, lonely and scary there. He just doesn't know about it yet. It is important to gain confidence and resilience and set boundaries in time.

The teenager will still try to destroy them, this is his nature, but be relentless and consistent.

A teenager still really needs recognition and tenderness, so don’t be surprised that after bitter tears or screaming he comes to lie next to you. He needs very personal, long conversations, tea and cookies and your advice or opinion.

It is important not to force him to hug or talk when you want it, but to tell him that he should come when needed. Then he will know that you are ready and will come himself.

Don't be fooled: his bravado and fire are more situational, he builds a line of defense in order to express his opinion. But despite this, he is very vulnerable, gentle and reverent.

He needs love and warmth.

Still from the series "Gilmore Girls"

You are in the "Blogs" section. The author's opinion may not coincide with the position of the editors.

Source: //mel.fm/blog/tsentr-perekrestok/7431-perepady-nastroyeniya-u-podrostkov-kak-ikh-obyasnit

Treatment

In the popular imagination, depression is a depressed mood, dull eyes, powerlessness, passivity. But, as we see, in fact, depression has much more complex and varied manifestations. For example, defiant or rebellious behavior often turns out to be a cry for help with depression, and smiling and activity is a defense mechanism.

Only a specialist can diagnose and treat depression. Only a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist will be able to distinguish depression from other disorders, identify its true causes and prescribe the correct treatment.

The parents’ task is to organize a meeting between the psychologist and the child in a timely manner. It is important to know that treatment is not always carried out in a hospital setting. The patient is admitted to the hospital only if he has expressed suicidal thoughts and has drawn up a plan to end his life. In other cases, treatment is carried out at home, the child is not limited in anything.

Almost always, treatment for depression also involves a medical component - taking antidepressants and medications that eliminate the somatic manifestations of depression. But a big role is given to solving psychological problems. The work is carried out with the child and his family.

It is important to teach parents to accept the child, and for him to express his feelings, desires, and aspirations. Work is underway to correct self-esteem and increase the ability to adapt and overcome difficult situations.

What parents can do

Relationships in the family are decisive in the formation and development of the adolescent’s psyche. What to do if a child’s mood changes sharply, his studies begin to worsen, and conflicts arise at school?

In addition to the decision to seek help from a specialist, parents should take an active part in correcting the teenager’s behavior. Psychologists give parents the following advice:

help your child increase self-esteem by developing the ability to make their own decisions;
talk with a teenager on topics that are important to him: take an interest in his hobbies, everyday life;
limit criticism, excessive care;
gradually, without pressure or pressure, build trusting relationships;
conflict situations in the family should be kept to a minimum;
When discussing a particular problem, offer a solution based on your own experience.

It is also important for parents to find as many points of contact as possible with their child. After all, a teenager is surrounded by classmates and friends in the yard during the day, and sees his parents only in the evening. In such a situation, the teenager’s environment should not push the family aside. But at the same time, this does not mean that you need to limit communication with friends.

You can organize joint leisure time - outdoor recreation, sports. It is recommended to involve the child in spending time in various sections (chess, dancing, drawing). These types of art therapy are recognized by official medicine; they help shape the psyche and correct its disorders.

Tips for parents

All schools have a psychologist, social worker, and class teacher. You should definitely consult a specialist if parents notice any changes in the child’s behavior or suspect depression or other disorders.

The nature of the relationship with the child depends on the chosen parenting style. Unfortunately, it is difficult to achieve trust if it did not arise from early childhood. However, the tasks of parents are:

Talk to the child, take an interest in his life. Really listen, even if his problems seem minor. If a child talks about something, then it is important and exciting for him.
Observe behavior, voice, intonation. Be interested in the child’s plans for life and tomorrow, exchange views on the world.
Know the child’s surroundings, the trends of his environment.
Pay attention to the child’s hobbies, notice bouts of laziness, and overcome them together.

It is important to see in a child an independent personality and an equal partner, to know age-related characteristics, the leading needs and leading activities of age, the specifics of age-related crises. And of course, common signs of childhood and teenage depression:

emotional imbalance;
prolonged sadness;
social avoidance;
increased sensitivity and feeling of uselessness;
change in appetite (increase or decrease);
sleep problems;
aggression;
fatigue, deterioration of attention and memory;
guilt;
thoughts and thoughts about death, suicide;
laziness and apathy;
problems in relationships with peers, difficulties in learning, conflicts in the family.

It is impossible to compile a complete list of general signs, since the essence of depressive changes is one thing – a change in the child’s usual behavior, appearance, perception of the world, attitude to games, and studies. Therefore, for one child, a decrease in mood is a sign of possible depression, and for another, optimism is the same sign.

What should parents do:

Be sure to consult a psychologist.
Do not yell at the child, do not punish, do not humiliate, do not scold.
Do not reject, try to provoke a dialogue.
Do not put pressure on the child, do not accuse him of incompetence and stupidity (“Stop acting like a wimp, pull yourself together!”).
Remember the first time signs appeared, suggest the reason for the changes. Have there been any major changes in the life of the child or family?
Pay attention to your teen's wants and needs, not your plans. Don't demand the impossible from your child. Build a life according to its characteristics. Recognize in him the right to his own path.
Maintain a favorable psychological climate in the family, analyze your relationship with your spouse.
Take your child's every word seriously, but without panic. In 90% of cases, teenagers who committed suicide voiced their intentions, but they went unnoticed, taken for a joke.
Help your child understand his condition and its causes, help him find a way out.
Create conditions of love and a sense of need for the child. Help unlock your child's intellectual and creative potential. Recognize him as a person.
Together with your child, learn to resolve conflicts constructively.
Adhere to a single parenting style and a single parental position.
Prevent overload (emotional and physical), review the child’s diet and daily routine.
Organize joint activities.

Treatment of depression

In general, in the best case, you need to see a psychologist. In a severe stage of depression, only a specialist can help; it is better not to self-medicate and especially (!!) not to blame the teenager for his problems. Believe me, this will only make the situation worse. Depression can also be treated with medication, but it is used only in severe cases. There are special psychotherapy sessions where, when working with a psychologist, the teenager gradually comes out of this state. It is worth consulting with a doctor and choosing the appropriate course of treatment.

Help a teenager find meaning.

Personally, I think that in the early stages of depression, in addition to working with a psychologist, you can keep your teenager busy.

There are such thoughts that you don’t understand why you live. This question is, of course, philosophical, but it is worth narrowing its meaning to a certain period of time. Let the teenager do what he loves, then he will have goals and ambitions. Well, for example, for the last week I’ve been living to play a good role in the New Year’s play, win dressage competitions and decorate the Christmas tree at home. An aggressive teenager can go to sports to throw out all his anger there. Communication with animals helps against panic attacks and stress, I tested this on myself. There are many options: canine club, horse riding, and so on. Let a person have a goal, even if only for one week, but it will be there.

Afterword

While depression in adolescence is almost no different from that in adults, childhood depression is regularly masked and its manifestations are atypical. Whims, behavior disorders, phobias and school difficulties are the most popular ways to mask childhood depression.

Depression in young children often manifests itself somatically – bowel movements, sleep disorders, and developmental delays. In preschoolers – fears and motor disorders. Younger schoolchildren experience dysphoria, decreased performance, and a feeling of joyless life.

It is precisely because of our society’s stereotypical ideas about depression that very often it goes unnoticed and lives are ruined. Let me remind you that depression is one of the main causes of child suicide.

Symptoms of Teen Depression

To diagnose depressive disorder, a psychiatrist checks for the presence of characteristic symptoms. The main signs of depression, which develops during adolescence, are:

Long periods of depressed mood, fatigue and depression. As a rule, teenagers suffering from depression feel lonely, abandoned and convinced that no one wants them and cannot understand them.
Isolation, desire to isolate myself from social contacts, reluctance to communicate with peers and loved ones. Such teenagers often abandon previous friendships, try to spend as much time as possible alone, and do not make contact.
Loss of interest in activities that the teenager used to enjoy. A student who suffers from depression stops engaging in hobbies, does not attend parties, and refuses to have fun.
Excessive criticism of one's own appearance. Teenagers see themselves as unsightly, ugly, and not conforming to the accepted canons of beauty. Subsequently, such a negative attitude towards oneself leads to manifestations of sloppiness, carelessness, and neglect of hygiene rules.
Disappointment in the results of one’s activities, excessive criticality, and constant dissatisfaction with the results influence the teenager’s refusal to do anything.
Feelings of guilt appear. The imbalance of enzyme and hormonal metabolism, which causes depression, manifests itself in a teenager in the fact that he perceives the opinions of others about himself as condemnation.
If a student is depressed, his academic performance deteriorates sharply. This is due to the fact that the child loses the ability to concentrate and attention drops. The disease deprives the student of motivation to study and interest in getting good grades, up to a categorical refusal to go to class.
Increased attachment to one of the parents. Often, even older schoolchildren begin to strive to constantly be close to their father or mother or to hold on to them. This is one of the serious signs of teenage depression - children are afraid of being left without parental care because adults will abandon them or die.
Changing eating habits. In depressive disorders, these changes can manifest themselves differently even in the same child: from complete refusal of food to episodes of binge eating.
Problems arise with the sleep-wake cycle. A depressed teenager may suffer from insomnia, early, painful awakenings, and restless and shallow sleep. The teenager’s body does not get enough rest, and as a result, the general condition worsens.
There is excessive irritability, which turns into aggressiveness on minor occasions, unreasonable fears, increased anxiety,
A feeling of soreness in the back muscles or in the abdomen, headaches, a feeling of heaviness and loss of balance, which are not caused by any organic diseases and do not go away with the use of appropriate medications. Girls may experience discomfort and pain during menstruation and suffer from cycle disorders.
There is a passion for melancholic music, writing melancholy poems. Such children feel their own doom, choose a wardrobe of gloomy tones, and abandon everything that previously usually gave them pleasure.
Youthful rebellion and delinquent (hooligan) behavior can be one of the pronounced signs of teenage depression, since at this age the disease manifests itself with increased aggressiveness. This is a distinguishing feature of depression in adolescents from depression in adults. Rebellious behavior often consists of breaking social or family ties, participating in dubious companies, joining radical youth movements, hooliganism or promiscuous sexual relationships.
Attempts to independently improve the condition through the use of alcohol, tobacco or drugs.
The emergence of ideas (or attempts) to leave the family. Depressed teenagers thus try to reject their family before the family rejects them.

Relatives who are new to the symptoms of teenage depression usually find it difficult to recognize the disease that has arisen, since children remain silent about their experiences, do not share and refuse to discuss their feelings, and reject any help. And most manifestations of the disease are perceived by parents as inevitable changes associated with puberty and the socialization of the child.