In our deeply tolerant society, where gender boundaries are almost blurred, and any attempt to “put a stereotype” on anyone is suppressed by public censure, it is already quite difficult to talk about the individual differences between men and women. However, when it comes to the manifestation of physiological characteristics in people during puberty, it is impossible to ignore the individual approach, depending on gender. In this article we will discuss the process of growing up, puberty in boys and all the subtleties associated with puberty.
Amazing time
Regardless of who, when adolescence begins, it can also be called an amazing time. This is a time of amazing discoveries, first of all, about yourself. If for the first time a child realizes his boundaries in comparison with the outside world at about 2 years old, and this surprises him more than frightens him, then the second time - at 12-13 years old - all signs indicate that the teenager understands even more stringent boundaries between themselves and their family or peers, men-boys and women-girls. This frightens the teenager and at the same time gives him new hopes.
Physiological changes are observed. Bones grow quickly. Sometimes the growth of bones outstrips the development of internal organs, and the teenager has to see a doctor. In addition to growth, many other physiological changes occur.
Physiological features
Physiological characteristics of a teenage child:
- The voice breaks. This is the main sign of adolescence. The child's voice becomes hoarse. In the post-pubertal period, the voice will be established, but before the child becomes a young man, he will not be able to sing (and boy musicians suffer greatly from this). The teenager is embarrassed to speak in public. It happens that such shyness develops into an inferiority complex.
- Hair appears on the body. They grow on the pubic area, under the armpits, on the face, and sometimes on the legs and arms.
- Inflammations appear on the skin. If hair is usually hidden under clothes, then acne on the face cannot be hidden. Boys and girls suffer greatly from acne and are looking for different ways to get rid of it. Such phenomena can disappear only in 20-21 years. Over time, the rash goes away on its own.
- Wet dreams appear. Spontaneous ejaculation may begin, which usually occurs during sleep. Such features of adolescence in boys should not cause concern to parents. These are just signs of puberty, but they can frighten a teenager: he often does not know what to do in such cases.
- Psychological and physical fatigue increases. The body is rebuilt and spends a lot of energy on age-related changes.
- The risk of injury increases. Teenagers, more often than children and adults, strain muscles and ligaments, break arms and legs. These are signs that the musculoskeletal frame is no longer as elastic and elastic as before, but has not yet had time to fully form. That is why teenagers are prohibited from exercising excessively in the gym and lifting heavy objects.
Acne is a natural phenomenon in adolescence.
The physiology of adolescence is closely related to the psychological problems of a teenager. If earlier the child behaved freely and naturally, often smiled, was open, talkative, then in adolescence he begins to withdraw into himself.
What to pay attention to while growing up?
Just yesterday there was a baby running under your feet who responded to the word “baby,” and now in front of you is a teenager. What to do? Everything would be fine if not for the changes that clearly affect the boy’s appearance and character. This is due to hormonal processes occurring in the body of a man without five minutes.
To go through this difficult path as calmly and without unnecessary stress as possible, you should arm yourself with all the necessary knowledge. You will be more likely to help your child if you know more about puberty yourself.
More about puberty
Puberty is a period of growing up for boys during which the body changes through the process of puberty. The development of secondary sexual characteristics in boys, the ability to be fertile (procreation) - all this is the result of those changes.
Puberty generally occurs between nine and sixteen years . But do not forget that all children are different, and therefore puberty can also occur at different times. The onset of its manifestation depends on many factors, such as weight or genetic characteristics, for example.
Body mass
Many experts believe that a teenager's body weight can greatly influence the timing of puberty. That is, changes in the body can begin only when the child’s body reaches the required weight.
Leptin (a hormone produced by fat cells) influences the activity of gonadotropin-releasing hormone, which stimulates the pituitary gland to produce follicle-stimulating hormone and luteinizing hormone - these two, in turn, lead to sexual development.
Note that today's teenagers are entering puberty earlier than ever before in history. This is where we can see the connection between this and the fact that many modern children have a problem with excess weight.
Genetics
Genetics is another factor that determines the onset of puberty. There is a good chance that your son will reach puberty at the age his father did. Moreover, scientists have discovered a specific gene that plays a major role during puberty - GPR54. It influences the secretion of gonadotropin-releasing hormone and determines the timing of puberty. Those who have this gene damaged risk entering puberty much later.
Mental changes
Psychological problems typical for teenagers:
- Vulnerability. The teenager reacts very sharply to any comments or comparisons of himself with someone else. But it is precisely at this age (12-17 years old) that the most crucial period of school life occurs. This is middle and high school, when teachers treat students without the same leniency.
- The desire to assert oneself at any cost. Sometimes a teenager chooses for self-affirmation an area that is not approved by adult society. This is when alcohol, smoking and drugs enter the teenager’s world.
- Desire for attention towards oneself. This applies to relationships with peers, strangers, but primarily with your family. No matter how a teenager behaves, it is necessary to remember that the approval and understanding of his parents is very important to him.
- A teenager, in addition to the previous needs for safety, food, sleep, rest and movement, has a new and frightening one - sexual desires. In a harmonious society, a man’s sexual maturation proceeds almost unnoticed. The first love creates pleasant memories for a lifetime, and the first sexual experience is not associated with fear and disgust. It is bad if the future man does not know at all how to correctly express his feelings and desires or he is at the mercy of contradictions: what is forbidden by adults is encouraged in the company of peers or vice versa.
Teenagers are trying to demonstrate their maturity.
The main problems of adolescence in boys
For many parents, waiting for their son to enter adolescence is associated with serious concerns. Everyone knows that children become “uncontrollable” during this period—and boys more so than girls.
It is for this reason that some adults await this stage in the development of their child with particular fear, and sometimes even horror. The mere thought that their beloved child, in whose upbringing they have invested their whole soul, will suddenly become impudent, rude, impudent, or even leave the family under the influence of a “bad” environment, becomes unbearable for them and causes pain.
Meanwhile, as psychologists say, if you know exactly what to expect during puberty and react to what is happening adequately, then both the young man and his parents will be able to experience this time relatively peacefully and even maintain friendly relations. In addition, experts note an interesting pattern: the stronger the personality, the more severe the manifestations of the “terrible” crisis of thirteen to fourteen years.
On the one hand, this does not sound at all reassuring to those who have to deal with a young man with a similar disposition. On the other hand, they can be comforted by the realization that the presence of strength - and not only physical, but also moral, spiritual and emotional - is a completely natural option for a real man, whom all adequate parents dream of raising.
It is also worth understanding that during puberty, no matter how paradoxical it may sound at first glance, a child striving for independence especially urgently needs the understanding and support of loved ones. He has to face so many experiences of different kinds that certainly accompany growing up, which is hard for him at this time, first of all.
First of all, adolescence in boys (as well as in girls) is characterized by serious restructuring of the body, changes in it associated with growing up, which, of course, affects the psyche. Moreover, such transformations do not occur simultaneously or harmoniously, but spasmodically: at different stages, the breakthrough in the development of one system significantly exceeds what is happening at the same time with others.
So, at the beginning of puberty (at about ten to twelve years), the role of “first violin” is played by the endocrine centers. A little later, the gonads “catch up” with them. It is because of all these organic changes that the state of the nervous system of adolescents is characterized by instability, and psycho-emotional reactions are characterized by imbalance, a certain impetuosity, and the young person becomes prone to commit “strange”, impulsive actions, which sometimes he himself cannot explain. This is explained by the fact that even with all the well-developed ability of self-control (compared to preschoolers or primary schoolchildren), during this period their excitation reaction still prevails over inhibition.
This behavior is quite compatible with the other extreme - complete apathy, indifference to certain things. For example, parents are often faced with the fact that their child, who previously showed zeal in his studies, becomes absolutely indifferent in relation to school grades and is even distinguished in this regard by some “unbreakability”. He seems to be “on his own wavelength” and is so immersed in his inner world that what happens outside this personal space does not bother him.
Such a reaction is very characteristic of puberty, and it is dictated by the main problems of adolescence, first of all, personal awareness. For a young man, when his socialization takes place, finding his “niche” in the society in which he will exist until the end of his days, the first place, more than ever, comes to the study of his abilities and capabilities, as well as, of course, the formation of himself as a mature, self-sufficient personality, capable of performing Actions with a capital “A”. This process is necessary because it accompanies growing up, but it is far from painless.
All previous age crises seemed to serve only as a prelude to this undoubtedly important period in the development of a full member of society, a future husband, father and worker, who in life will have to make a lot of difficult decisions, when the choice will not always be between black and white, but also between them. shades, the palette of which is extremely wide.
The teenager strives to find such “halftones”, first of all, in himself, and then in the world around him. His thinking develops intensively, his own opinion and assessment of what is happening is fully manifested. He ceases to perceive parents and other significant adults as “gods” who do not know mistakes, whose thoughts are almost an axiom. It was then that the young guy truly contradicted them for the first time, expressing his point of view and challenging the statements of his “opponents.”
Adolescence is full of contradictions associated precisely with personal development. Thus, at this time of life, extreme criticality in relation to others completely coexists with “connivance” towards oneself, a loved one, and the desire to be “like everyone else” (during the period of active socialization, communication with peers, a thirst for approval on their part takes on special importance) - with the desire stand out at any cost and emphasize your individuality. Yes, all these “crazy” hairstyles and “nightmare” clothes come from here!
Psychologists call this “tangle of contradictions” an adolescent complex. This concept includes, first of all, changes in mood and state - from unbridled, “unbridled” fun to ineradicable sadness, from sensitivity towards certain things (especially assessments of one’s appearance and achievements - however, the first is more typical for girls, the second - just for boys) to the point of amazing callousness and indifference.
Young men during this period of their lives are extremely self-centered (they often get the impression that it seems to them that the world revolves only around them), but at the same time they are very devoted and capable of such self-sacrifice, which will not happen later, probably, until the very end of their days . They love passionately, but after just a few days they can easily forget about the object of their adoration.
All these processes are, of course, accompanied by the formation and awareness of one’s sexuality. During adolescence, yesterday's children experience their first serious erotic sensations. This is especially intensified after the onset of wet dreams (involuntary ejaculation), which, as a rule, are preceded by ambiguous “pictures” in a dream.
Here, by the way, all the costs of a boy’s sexual education will be fully revealed. If parents preferred to bashfully hush up such questions rather than be the main source of sexual education for their son, then such an “information vacuum” can negatively affect his sense of self. After the first wet dream in his life, without understanding what exactly is happening to him, a guy often begins to feel like a “rag”, unable to satisfy a girl in the future and produce offspring. By the way, experts believe that the “heap and small” that guys sometimes throw at recess is their attempt to prove to themselves their newfound masculinity.
It is worth noting that although peers come to the fore in a teenager’s picture of the world, the role of parents in it is still important. However, their attitude towards their growing son needs some adjustment. It is important for father and mother to realize: their child is no longer a child who could be commanded, but a person with whom they will soon have to interact on an equal footing. His extreme age, changed behavior and perception of life are a necessary stage of growing up, without which it is impossible for a guy to become a mature person.
You should throw your “imperial” habits towards your son to the farthest shelf of your own consciousness. Teenagers have a so-called “emancipation complex”: any manifestation of strength - and not only physical! - and pressure causes them only rejection and natural rejection. As a result, nothing good will come of it - only distance from loved ones (by the way, young men often leave home precisely because of the despotism of their mother and father).
Interaction should move to a completely new level - partnership. Parents should help and gently direct the guy’s irrepressible energy into a constructive direction. His desire for independence can be satisfied by some feasible assignments and encouragement of creative activity.
Also, before puberty, you need to create in your offspring the correct image of an adult: maturity does not mean smoking, drug addiction, drinking and hooliganism, but, above all, responsibility for one’s own affairs.
If parents care not about preserving their “reputation”, but, above all, about supporting their growing son, then their good relationship will continue. Moreover, they will move to a completely new level of communication between adults.
Philosophical questions
- Meaning of life. For the first time, a teenager asks himself this serious philosophical question. First of all, he is concerned about the meaning of his own life. The child wants to understand his purpose and thinks about the future. If a teenager does not find meaning in his own life, he may be attracted to the romance of death. It must be borne in mind that the teenager partially retained his childhood vision of the world. But children do not know the horror of death. The idea of the irreversibility of death is inaccessible to them. The question of at what age understanding changes is purely individual. At the same time, the idea of suicide contains the romance characteristic of a teenager. But most often, attempts to commit suicide are a way to attract the attention of others, a request for help. In any case, such attempts, thoughts and conversations of a teenager require attentive attention from adults.
- Overthrow of previous authorities. The teenager discovers that the people who were previously authoritative for him - parents, teacher, coach, friend - turn out to be not as omnipotent as he thought in childhood. If the son’s parents did not develop condescension and the ability to treat other people’s and their own mistakes with humor, and used authoritarian methods of education, then he will abandon his parents and declare a protest. This is why teenagers often seem rude, cruel and indifferent.
- Creation of an idol. It often happens that, having lost interest in old idols, a teenager necessarily creates new ones for himself. These could be football teams, music groups, film actors or teenage companies. Over time, this phenomenon should pass.
What should adults do?
Neither adults nor a child will ever be able to say exactly what caused this or that teenage reaction. A child may cry for no reason, be rude, fail to complete homework, or skip school. This may continue, for example, because a girl he cares about made a careless remark, or he has complexes about his appearance (pimples and acne on his face). Often a child cannot react with restraint to an argument on the Internet with friends or classmates, or restrain his emotions if an idea comes to his mind that strikes him.
Adults will have to take into account physiological, psychological, and philosophical aspects when solving teenage problems.
Don't leave teenagers alone with their problems, communicate with them.
Parents are the main helpers in a difficult period of a boy’s life
What should parents whose son has reached puberty do? Who better than mom and dad to help their child overcome this difficult period in his life. It is important not to waste time and try to control the situation.
Parents should involve their son in sports. Psychologists have noticed that for children who lead a healthy and active lifestyle, adolescence does not cause serious problems.
Mom and dad should become friends for their son. Communicate with him more, know his friends.
His father can talk to a teenager about the physiological characteristics of the body, and remember himself at his age. Parents may “accidentally” leave some literature in a visible place that will help answer the child’s questions.
It is important to control where a teenager spends his free time. What social networks is he registered on, with whom and how does he communicate. Of course, one should not ostentatiously interfere in his personal life. You need to let the boy know that you trust him.
The teenager already considers himself more independent. However, he should not be allowed to go to bed late. A daily routine will help you cope with many physiological and psychological difficulties. Teenagers do not like instructions and moralizing. Therefore, everything must be done unobtrusively.
Let the child actively participate in the life of the family. Give him some responsibilities. Emphasize its importance when performing them.
Do not discuss your child in front of strangers, talk to him in private. Otherwise, he will not turn to you for advice.
A 12-year-old teenager needs male education. Nothing can replace communication with your father. His son follows his example. He should feel reliable support. It would be right if father and son do common things: go fishing, hike, repair something, etc.
Everything becomes more complicated if there is no father in the family, or he is not involved in upbringing. It can be difficult for a mother or grandmother to establish contact with a teenager. Year after year, difficulties can increase.
In intractable situations, it is better to consult a psychologist.
Boys of this age are more susceptible to bad habits. They strive to improve themselves. Smoking and drinking alcohol can significantly slow down the process of physiological and psychological development of a boy.
Drug addiction poses a particular danger. Therefore, parents should monitor their child’s behavior.
Signs in a teenager’s behavior that should alert you:
- indifferent, or vice versa, excited state;
- poor memory, absent-mindedness;
- red eyes, dilated or unnatural-looking pupils;
- brownish coating on the tongue;
- systematic, gratuitous lies;
- injection marks.
If you see any of these signs in your child, take action. Don't blame him right away. Children of this age especially need support. You may need the help of specialists.
Diet
It is necessary to reconsider the teenager’s diet and rest regime. A schoolchild who experiences increased psychological and physiological stress during this period needs proper rest and at least 8 hours of sleep at night.
Breakfast should be hearty. At least 1/4 of all calories consumed per day should be consumed in the morning. Products must contain potassium, iron and calcium. We must not forget about fruits and fish. A teenager should receive 40% of all calories at lunch and only 20% at dinner. An afternoon snack (15%) is also required. You need to teach your teenager to always have a small bottle of drinking water with him and remember to drink fluids throughout the day.
In adolescence, a person should not be prevented from growing up: he should be allowed to independently seek answers to all the questions that concern him, without limiting his freedom. And most importantly, do not continue to treat him as a small, unintelligent child whose decisions do not deserve the attention of adults.
It is necessary to keep a teenager busy with something interesting. It is best if the young guy is busy with something to which he will not remain indifferent in the future.
During this period, you cannot push the teenager away by inattention to his problems, even if they seem insignificant to the parents. A teenager should know that he is understood and loved for who he is.
Whatever the problems of adolescence, you cannot treat a teenager like a fragile crystal vase. After all, a teenager learns to be a man, and therefore responsible, strong and reliable.
Tags:Boy, Transitional age
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