It's difficult to break up with a man if you still feel something more than just affection for him. However, it is much more difficult to permanently break off a relationship without leaving room for even basic human communication. For people who have realized that a love relationship between them is impossible, friendly relationships become a source of pleasure in the company of someone who is close in spirit and simply pleasant.
Gender issues were discussed, but in an abstract way, far removed from where Kelsey lives—where Bible study groups meet in cafes and the grocery store advertises outdoor movies with discounts on tractors. At her school, where there aren't even gay organizations, people are whispering that Kelsey and Kahri should be dating because they have short hair. They're not dating, but how do you explain a "non-binary" school where one of the classes includes a chapter on "Gender Expenses" and the teacher says girls should save up on all the shoes they want to buy?
Hello past
It often happens that he is afraid of a serious relationship for one very simple reason: a bad experience. Such a man will avoid responsibility and civil marriage, not to mention a stamp in his passport. For a loving woman, unsuccessful relationships in the past can discourage a man from making serious plans for the future. And here, most likely, it’s not about you, but about the experience that the man received.
Is it worth waiting, hoping and believing? In some cases, to solve such a problem you just need to give him time to get to know you better, closer and put his own fears in the foreground. But in most situations, things happen differently: a woman takes on the role of a savior, a mother, or, as an option, a vest and a buffer. His unsuccessful relationship ended, he had not yet met true love... but then you turned up, all ready to save him from disappointment. If you still haven’t clearly decided what kind of man you want and are looking for, life will only give you guys who don’t know who they need.
Yes, everyone has their own fears and complexes, bad experiences. But a real man understands that his negative past and you are, as they say in Odessa, two big differences. And if he really likes you, he will not be stupid, but will use the opportunity.
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What to do if he can't decide
A beloved woman has no rivals - everyone knows this, but it is so rarely used in real life. The truth is that a story when a man cannot make up his mind and choose one woman out of two is always not the most beautiful and, as a rule, sad. A love triangle is not always wife-husband-lover; sometimes, even at the very beginning of a relationship, a man cannot say goodbye to his past and spoils the brains of both his former and current partner at the same time.
How should forced rivals behave in such a situation? Is it worth fighting for his love with a rival? Or step aside and miss out on your happiness? Of course, we are the masters of our own destiny, and what should we fight for in life if not for our own happiness? But let’s just think about whether this is really happiness, and how much is it yours?
If a man has rivals on the way to conquering a woman, his interest only increases. When men compete for one woman, they demonstrate their strength, courage, courage, perseverance. A man in such a struggle reveals his potential. The more difficult the confrontation, the more pleasant the victory, the more expensive the trophy. I write rudely and exaggeratedly, but men really value more what they got with difficulty. This is why no one likes easily accessible and intrusive women.
What happens when a woman enters into a fight for a man? She lowers her importance in the eyes of a man. In the competition for a man, the one who retreats first wins. For a confident victory, you need to retreat gracefully, without tears, hysterics and with a graceful gait. The loser is the one who did not give up and fought to the end. When a man himself “gets” a woman as a trophy, his feelings quickly cool down. He is not able to appreciate her contribution to the relationship, and he himself has done nothing for them, so he does not feel their significance. A man would rather feel attracted to the one who walked lightly into the sunset than fall in love with the one who tore off her fists in battle.
Fighting for a man, even a beloved one, is humiliating for a woman. In this case, she initially recognizes that she is not the only unconditional choice, and that she may have rivals. She forgives the man for his doubts and denies herself the privilege of being the only and loved one. If a man is truly in love, he has no choice. If a man doubts, then he doesn’t really want either of the two.
A love triangle has a happy ending very rarely. A proud and self-respecting woman will simply leave and not remember, and the unfortunate winner will not be able to keep a man who does not love her next to her for long. A man is able to appreciate only what he loses, only what escapes, only what is inaccessible. Therefore, the only way to make a man fall in love with you and become truly desirable to him is to leave as far as possible, as quickly as possible, without turning around.
Young-green
Perhaps he is simply younger than you and really is not yet ripe for a serious relationship. It’s quite rare to find a man 17-19 years old who is ready to take responsibility for you and your family. Although this also happens. It is important to understand that the phrase “not ready yet” can be heard both from a 16-year-old boy and from a 42-year-old “boy”. And in two cases they really will not be ready - for example, psychologically or financially.
One of the unique characteristics that women have is the ability to imagine. If you don’t want to waste years of your life, you need to learn to control this “superpower.” If a man says “not ready yet,” this means that he is NOT READY to build a relationship with you at this moment in time. Dot. You can suffer and cry as much as you like, but you have to accept the fact.
In order not to be left with a broken heart, a man needs to at least occasionally just listen carefully. If he says he doesn't want a relationship, then he doesn't want one. If he offers to pay for the vacation 50/50, then this will continue to be the case in the future. And one more thing: not wanting a family, children and relationships is normal. Not every man wants to be mentally and financially ready for this.
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Type one: ideological loners
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Unfortunately, even ideological singles, who for one reason or another do not consider an alliance with another person, are often mistaken in believing that they still need to start a relationship. This is influenced by both personal inclinations (for example, suggestibility and lack of opinion) and stereotypes, which make it more difficult for single people to get settled in life.
It doesn’t really matter what caused the conscious rejection of the “and they lived happily ever after” scenario. If even the very thought that you will have to share a home with another person and adapt to it in every possible way fills you with awe, you should not step on your own throat for the sake of social standards. There are many scientific studies that confirm that single people are in many ways even happier than those who are in relationships or married.
Taste of freedom
Do you know how most men feel when they get married? That they put shackles on them. I'm joking, of course, but there is some truth in every joke. Men discuss all these jokes about a mother-in-law, a wife who will stop taking care of herself, lost freedom, fishing among themselves once a year, and some come to a conclusion like “what the hell.”
Most men feel that with the advent of a woman their freedom will be greatly limited. Perhaps he judges by films and jokes, or by friends who have recently gotten married. Here you need to turn on the observation mode: does your man talk about marriage as an undesirable thing only as a joke? Or does he not miss a single opportunity to speak out on the topic of how women turn men into their slaves?
If the latter, then most likely your man will never be ripe for a serious relationship. Well, or you'll have to wait for years. Are you ready to accept the value system of an ardent opponent of serious relationships and marriage?
It’s definitely not worth convincing, demonstrating positive examples and dragging such a man to the registry office. You can only gently convey that his precious freedom will not be violated by your presence either before or after marriage. In any case, whether you need such a man is up to you to decide.
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General Affairs
Often during a relationship, a situation arises where you need to imagine yourself as a couple. This applies to various family celebrations, as well as vacations or solving various issues. Usually the girl doesn't even have to ask. The young man will definitely be with her at the holiday, help with her problems and be nearby. In the absence of a serious relationship, men come up with busy work or illness.
It is important to understand that frivolous relationships will never develop into love. You can reassure yourself by keeping your other half busy or feeling unwell. If a man loves a woman, he will always find time for a date or a call, he will try to introduce her to her relatives and become part of her family. Don't be fooled and waste time on relationships that will lead nowhere.
The reason is you
I understand that I don’t want to admit it, but it happens. If you are fixated on a man and, moreover, demand that he immediately visit the registry office, even a loving person will be wary. Perhaps you are already over 30 and are afraid of being alone? Or did you have a bad experience and this time you decided to do everything quickly? Or maybe he is the only one who has paid attention to you over the past year.
You must understand that it is important for a man to see you as self-sufficient (not to be confused with a strong woman), cheerful, satisfied with yourself and life. Let him see how other men look at you and understand that you definitely won’t be left alone. Believe me, when you let go of your grip and get busy with your life, he will feel that besides him, you can be needed and desired for others. At this moment, most men realize how dear you are to him.
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The best advice I can give you is: take care of your development, your hobbies and your life. Obsession with one man is the scourge of modern women. He is not the last man on earth. And it’s not about your 36 years, but about self-doubt, fears or complexes. If you smell of the desire “well, at least someone will take me,” the man clearly has nothing to do with it. The strongest foundation for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. And it was not me who said this, but Oscar Wilde. It is understanding the psychology of men and developing oneself as a woman that are key skills in order to build happy and long-term relationships.
After all, the more you work on yourself, the more you understand yourself, and therefore other people. Then it’s easier for you to convey to your man what you want and it’s much easier to weed out unworthy candidates already at the first stage.
Openness and the ability to talk frankly with a man are qualities that only a truly pumped-up woman can boast of.
