Why does the husband, the beloved, cheat, but does not leave - what to do? Is it possible to save a relationship if a man cheats

Signs of male infidelity

When a woman notices changes in her man, she begins to have a terrible thought about how to bring her husband to light and convict him of cheating. There are different circumstances, so even a delay from work or secrecy are not indicators of betrayal. For this you need to find more compelling reasons, which are:

READ How to forgive your wife's betrayal and move on: advice from a psychologist

Unplanned departures. If before this the partner came home from work on time, did not go with friends, or his car did not break down in the middle of the road at night, here, most likely, you can find evidence of a connection on the side.
The man has his head in the clouds. He often uses his phone, set passwords, changed his appearance, started taking care of himself, playing sports, and updated his wardrobe.
Lack of intimate life. Marital sex is very rare; a man always faces some obstacles to it.
Moved away. If before a husband and wife communicated often, spent time together, corresponded, called each other, and now he has distanced himself from his significant other, then, most likely, he has a mistress.
Unfamiliar smell. When a guy is intimate with a girl, the scents of her deodorant, perfume, shampoo and cigarettes linger on his skin and clothes.
He himself is jealous of his wife. When a man starts an affair on the side, he is sure that his wife will do the same to him. Because of this, he arranges scenes of jealousy for her, even if there is no reason for them.

Psychology advises that if you want to bring your husband to clean water, remember that the signs are not yet proof of betrayal, so do not rush to file for divorce or break off the relationship. Overcome your emotions and think rationally.

How to find out that your husband has a permanent mistress?

A woman intuitively senses betrayal. There are many signs that prove the fact of adultery. Among them:

the daily routine has changed . The first thoughts that the husband has taken a mistress begin to appear when the husband’s work schedule changes dramatically. Any woman needs attention, and it takes time. Previously, my husband woke up at eight and left for work at half past nine. Now he gets up an hour earlier, takes a shower and leaves when it is not yet eight. Most likely, he will be late at work, his friends will suddenly need his help, his car will break down, etc.;
appearance . Surely at the beginning of a relationship, a man came on a date shiny and shaved. Over time it went away, but suddenly it appeared again. It makes sense to think about this. Also, a man can begin to pay attention to his physical fitness;
gadgets . Today it is difficult to find a person without a mobile phone. Thanks to its presence, it is also easy to find out whether the husband has a mistress. You should pay attention to the new entries that have appeared with “brightly masculine” names: “Vladimir concrete”, “Anton roofing”, etc. During this period, the husband can set a password so that the wife does not accidentally delete important information. The phone is always in your pocket, although previously it was always on the nightstand;
loss of funds . Every man spends money on his mistress. He has to buy flowers, sweets, visit restaurants, and spoil his new woman from time to time. You don’t have to try hard for your wife, but here you can’t do without it. If money in the family begins to disappear, you should immediately look into it;
there was less sex . Harmonious relationships without intimacy are impossible. Most marriages without sex simply fall apart. If your husband used to “drag” you into bed several times a week, but now he doesn’t want to do it even once a month, this is a good reason for reflection.

There can be many signs, these are just the main ones.

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The man does not admit to cheating

If you are 100% sure that your loved one is cheating, but intimate conversations are not able to bring your husband clean, then external signs will help. When a problem is obvious, it is easier to solve it. If he admits, this will help the spouses start a constructive conversation and decide on further actions.

READ How to forgive a girl for cheating and is it worth doing?

Let's figure out what to do in a situation if you suspect your husband of cheating. When you need to bring your spouse to clean water, you should definitely collect evidence. For example, he turns off his phone when he goes to the gym. If you do not have the opportunity to convict him of betrayal, then you should involve strangers who will follow him.

When a girl says: “I suspect my husband of cheating, but it’s not clear what to do,” she should put psychological pressure on him. To do this, you need to ask him questions from which he will understand that you already know about the betrayal. Then it will become clear how much he values you, especially if he starts attacking.

If people want to save a marriage after a loved one has cheated, then serious measures, devoid of emotions, are needed. Before you think about how to force your husband to admit to cheating on himself, decide for yourself why you need this. If a girl aims to preserve the family union, she should refuse surveillance, since then it will be very difficult to accept her husband back.

When your husband cheats but does not confess, use the advice of a psychologist. Start with the most important thing - calmness. If your spouse, who has someone else, wants to stay with you, then you need to decide what was missing in your relationship that allowed you to move away.

There are different love languages, each person conveys feelings in their own way. For many, this is attention, financial support, tactile contact. Analyze what is important to your spouse.

How to understand that your husband is cheating

It’s not so easy to understand that your husband has cheated, because he really could have been on a two-day fishing trip. One day with his mistress, the second - on the lake to smell like fish for conspiracy. Many wives associate the emergence of new hobbies with a partner with another passion who is interested in the same thing. But the fact of his love for collecting, for example, may be associated with age characteristics.

READ

Cheating at work: effective ways to recognize adultery

During periods of crisis, a person’s worldview changes, so bringing a husband to clean water is not always possible.

A more convincing fact of betrayal is considered to be a disease that is transmitted only through sexual contact. If a woman herself was not in an intimate relationship with another man, it means that she became infected from her loved one. Some ladies have a subtle sense of smell and can detect the aroma of other people's perfumes. A classic of the genre - traces of lipstick on a spouse’s clothes cast doubts about his fidelity.

All unusual changes in a partner provoke suspicion. They may be hiding:

in changes in his appearance;
in behavior.

Changes in appearance

The spouse's desire to look better than usual indicates that he has another woman. He begins to shave more often, changes his haircut, and changes his eau de toilette. For the sake of their mistress, they want to look more attractive and be in good shape, so men go to the gym and spend a long time pumping up their muscles there. Your partner suddenly develops a love for shopping, buying clothes, and changes his style. Previously, he refused his wife’s offers to wear jeans, but now it is his favorite item of clothing. Perhaps his mistress prefers to see him in them.

READ

Why men cheat on their wives but don’t leave: the main reasons

Behavioral features

Not only the appearance of the unfaithful husband changes, but also his behavior. Until recently, he idolized the dishes that his wife prepared, but now he refuses to eat them. He asks to change the recipe for frying meat, to prepare new dishes. The partner stops talking about what happened at work and becomes increasingly silent. He no longer throws things around, hangs them neatly, and changes his shirts every day.

A clear reason to doubt the faithful's devotion can be telephone calls during which he leaves the room. At the same time, the conversation is barely audible or the call is dropped. The man begins to sit on the phone more often and write messages. If the spouse tries to peek, he minimizes the tab and locks the screen. Apparently, there is something to hide.

With a noticeable deterioration in the financial situation, thoughts arise about where the money goes. If you used to be able to save up in a year for a vacation or a major purchase, but now you can’t, he may be supporting a mistress. Another unpleasant fact of having another woman with a spouse is calling the wife by a different name.

What to do after betrayal

If the husband does not admit to committing infidelity, the family is still slowly being destroyed. One day everything becomes clear, the woman finds herself in a situation of confusion, since until the last she tried not to accept the betrayal of her loved one. What is the right thing to do when your husband cheats?

READ How to catch your wife cheating and what to do if your suspicions are confirmed

At first, the girl is overcome by emotions, she thinks irrationally and does not see obvious facts. In this state, the wife easily turns a blind eye to betrayal due to the fact that her husband earns well and is a caring father. She forgives him for his frivolous act and continues to live with him.

If a man cheats, and you don’t have the strength to endure anymore, then there is no need to suffer. The relationship has already been destroyed, so you need to pull yourself together and act calmly. If you are thinking about how to force your beloved husband to admit to cheating, then you should directly express your point of view to him. Think, perhaps you deserve better? This is a sign from above to find a new man.

If a guy cheated once, most likely he will do it again. Be prepared for the fact that if you don't satisfy his needs, then he will leave again. When you firmly want to stay together, you cannot remember the betrayal or replay the situation in your head, otherwise your relationship will still fail.

Should I get a divorce?

The truth has been revealed, the first thought that arises in a woman’s head is separation. Is it necessary to get a divorce or can the situation be saved? To understand what is best to do after betrayal, you need to understand yourself.

The following questions will help with this:

Am I living with him only because no one needs me? Perhaps I want this myself?
Do children really need at least some kind of father?
Is aggression a manifestation of love?
Who will take care of you if you get divorced?

Only a strong personality can attract a partner and make both of them happy.

A woman should understand herself. It is possible that she became dependent on her man. This means that the girl does not want her partner to be happy, but wants him to be close. You know that he will be better off with his mistress, but you don’t care.

When deciding to forgive betrayal, you need to draw conclusions and eliminate the causes of betrayal.

You yourself advertised them to each other

What could happen next? You infect your girlfriends with your love, telling them about how cool and caring a man is, how supportive he is, what gifts he gives, how good he is in bed... And here your stories work like a high-quality PR move - your girlfriend obviously falls in love with your man and , even without wanting it, begins to constantly think about him.

And at the next meeting, the communication between your friend and your man is of a higher quality, I would even say, intimate, the gaze lingers longer, something skips a beat, a chance meeting in the city, coffee, “to throw you a surprise party,” and you have the consequences for yourself you can imagine.

And who is to blame? Alas and ah, but this is exactly the woman who brought the lovebirds together, literally pushing them into each other’s arms.

Male behavior and the choice to “take a wrong turn” can also be explained quite easily from psychology:

He initially tried to please your friends in order to be a positive character in this fairy tale;
In his eyes, one of your friends won on some point that he keeps in his head and which you are unlikely to ever know about;
You probably tell him about your friends in the same way as you tell your friends about him, and therefore a tiny spark is fanned into a fire;
Your girlfriend is close, he knows a lot about her, she already considers him a positive character, and besides, you don’t need to look for aggressive meetings on your own, because you will do everything for him;
He chooses the easy and simple, fast and comfortable path, because the choice of difficult paths contradicts the human psyche.

What can you do to never encounter this situation?

Should I forgive betrayal?

If you are thinking about forgiving betrayal and moving on with your life, then it is important not to make the same mistakes. Firstly, the partner himself will no longer value you, since he is not afraid of losing, after all, you forgave once. Secondly, the situation will repeat itself. If your spouse did not admit why he left for another woman, which did not suit him in your relationship, then he will cheat again.

READ How to survive your husband's betrayal and save your family: advice from a psychologist

So, the woman decided to close her eyes to the betrayal and continue building her family. You can forgive betrayal if you have something to value, there is no dependence, you understand why you love this man, you just want to be with him, no matter what.

If he does not give you financial security, moral satisfaction, does not care about your family and children, then think carefully. Maybe he committed this betrayal much earlier?

When losing a loved one is worse for you than betrayal, then you should work on the problem. You need to let go of the resentment from your heart. This situation happens to show the girl how she does not value herself and how she treated herself incorrectly before. She needs to take time for herself, raise her self-esteem, learn to love herself. You need to sincerely thank your husband for showing her that she deserves more. You need to understand that you can just be a happy woman, and consider betrayal as a reason for decisive action.

A man must also realize what he has done. He needs to earn the trust of his wife, treat her with respect, and no longer allow delays or a disconnected phone. If unforeseen matters arise, the spouse should be warned. A man needs to show that he has sincerely repented and wants to make his other half happy. Then after a while everything will calm down.

Cheating husband. Psychologist's advice

A bolt from the blue! He's cheating on me! Life is over! Catastrophe!

Isn't this how women perceive their man's betrayal? Yes, yes, that's right, in most cases. This is terrible, it is unpleasant and very cruelly hits a woman’s pride. But we need to figure out whether a man’s betrayal is so catastrophic?

Most often, it is the woman’s reaction that allows her to correct the situation and turn it in her direction – towards the woman whose husband cheated on her. Therefore, you need to learn how to properly respond to your husband’s betrayal.

Men and women are very different creatures. Both in temperament, and in the psyche, and in physiology, men are genetically polygamous. In clear language, as in the primitive communal system, the more females you attract and fertilize, the more numerous and longer your race will be.

Women are monogamous and programmed to protect and maintain a home for one partner. It is a fact. The difference in life program does not allow a woman to accept a man’s inclination towards polygamy. This is an eternal topic. Today, professional psychologists come to help women. They have long ago verified the algorithm for how to react to the fact of betrayal. A psychologist's advice will help you structure the situation and avoid rash actions. So:

Take your time. Time is valuable in this situation. If you find out about cheating, you don’t need to immediately break pots and throw a tantrum. Wait. Perhaps your man will decide to have a serious conversation with you and explain the problem. It often happens that betrayal happened on the principle of “the devil got me wrong” and does not carry with it any serious consequences.
Don't make mountains out of molehills. At first glance, betrayal is a disaster. But if you stop panicking and think, it turns out that this is an isolated, insignificant episode, and there are so many positive circumstances connecting you and your husband that they greatly outweigh a possible breakup.
Don't become isolated and don't get depressed. Cheating hurts a woman's heart. But there is no need to look for shortcomings in yourself, explaining betrayal and cultivating them. Remember in time about your undeniable advantages.
Communicate. We need to speak out. This will allow you to look at the situation from the outside. Talk to a psychologist. Talk to your friend. Talk to your mom. But the advice will have to be filtered. It is better to use the advice of a professional specialist. Since the collective female emotion is a real tornado, capable of destroying everything in its path.
Take a blank sheet of paper. Divide it in half with a line. On the right side write all the positive qualities of your husband. Down to the smallest household details. Fill out the left side with notes about his negative qualities. Please re-read it carefully. If the positive aspects are more numerous, then you should not put your relationship at risk. If there are 1-2 entries on the right and 15 on the left, then you need to think about whether you should be nervous about someone who already brings you little joy in life. Maybe it's time to change something?
Self-therapy. Take hold of the laundry iron. Iron your clothes, “smooth out” your emotions, “straighten” your attitude towards the fact of betrayal. Over time, the situation will smooth out. After a while, it will be possible to remember it as an unpleasant misunderstanding.
Imagine what this situation will mean to you in 5 years. With all other well-being. And think about cheating the way you might think about it years later. This helps you not get stuck.

We must remember that every man looks to the left at least once in his life. Well, that’s what they are, our men. It’s very good if your husband doesn’t give you any reason to be jealous. And if this happens, then you need to find the strength to talk to your loved one. This will help solve the problem, and not weave threads of understatement into a ball.

PS Dear women, we are only giving advice, but the decision where to put a comma in the phrase “FORGIVE YOU CAN’T LEAVE” should only be made independently, after weighing all the pros and cons. Sincerely, site administration.