Love and respect are complementary concepts. Where there is no mutual respect, there can be no love. Respect is the recognition of the highlights of a person’s personality.
Love is absolute acceptance of another person. Recognition and acceptance of another personality is a necessary condition for a joyful married life.
But in reality, many domestic couples complain precisely about the lack of respect, intuitively accepting this situation as a move towards destruction. There is a particularly large number of complaints from the female half.
Let's look at the circumstances of a wife's disrespect by her husband.
Circumstance 1 - non-compliance with ideals . The image of a future wife is formed in a man long before marriage. This includes the appearance of the chosen one, and the attitude towards comfort in the home, and experienced activities, and motherhood. Naturally, the requirements for the chosen one are excessive, and failure to meet the ideal leads to irritation and disrespect. And yet this point is key in the emergence of disrespect.
Circumstance 2 - unsatisfied need for awareness of male advantage . A man wants to get into marriage to realize himself as a master, protector, breadwinner, dad, lover. Any failure to satisfy any of these needs leads to a negative reaction that is projected onto the other person. The mechanism is simple: “I am a bad lover because you are a bad lover.”
Quite often a man is not to blame for his inability to adequately provide for his family or take care of the household on his own. The awareness of insolvency is painful, and, in most cases, is compensated by an accusatory position towards the spouse. According to men’s point of view, it is better to immediately explain to the wife all her shortcomings, without waiting for complaints (the best method of defense is offensive).
Both of these circumstances do not make women's lot any easier. In response to them, the lady may also take an accusatory position, which will give rise to scandals in the family. And perhaps the second option for the development of events, at a time when such behavior of a man leads to inferiority complexes in a woman.
Is it possible to regain your husband's respect? Perhaps, if you follow the recommendations of psychologists.
How to maintain family relationships: reasons for divorce
There are many reasons for family discord. We will not touch on the most dangerous and obvious ones: drunkenness, assault, addictions - drugs, alcohol, gaming. With such initial problems, it may even be better to get a divorce, or undergo long and tolerant treatment with a neurologist and psychiatrist, undergo therapy with a psychoanalyst or family psychologist.
Let's talk about traditional simple cases.
The most common reasons people give for divorce are:
- Lack of attention. Lack of time for a partner and ignoring his needs can lead to discord in family relationships.
- Excessive control. Jealousy or excessive guardianship similarly leads to unpleasant consequences.
- Failure to perform any duties. The partner draws a lot of resources from the family and does not compensate for the investments in him, like a “freeloader.”
- Routine. After marriage, young people at the beginning of independent life often think that their partner is the reason for their routine and boredom.
- Cheating spouses.
Be yourself
Your husband fell in love with a specific girl with certain interests, hobbies, views, and clothing style. After the wedding ends, men often begin to cheat on their husband, imposing personal views, opinions, and interests. Most ladies succumb to these transformations. They change their ideals, part with old friends, and betray their hobbies. They think this is true for a home person. In the near future, nothing at all remains of the personality of the person with whom the man was in love: faceless clothes, a dull gaze, a lack of communication, a lack of personal interests. Such a lady is not attractive to her husband. He stops respecting her for her failure.
To avoid a similar fate, remain yourself. Maintain your tastes, views and interests. Be as exciting as ever to your friends and your husband. Support this interest in yourself with your own views and hobbies. Of course, marital relations will require certain concessions to each other, but let them be mutual and equal.
And if you have already made the mistake of destroying yourself, then under no circumstances is it too late to begin the path of returning back . It is always possible to start First of all: find your new image, make interesting friends (at least on the Internet), get carried away by a creative activity. This will allow you to become entertaining to yourself and, of course, to those around you, including your spouse.
Life without a husband
Find strength in yourself and get busy with your life. You are a self-sufficient, strong woman. Nobody says it will be easy, but over time you will get used to it and find something to do for your soul.
We suggest you read: Why married men cheat on their wives but don’t leave
Or maybe your husband has found another woman? If he has a mistress, then things are much worse. He lives in two families, but you don’t know what to do. In this case, psychologists advise starting to work on yourself. Show your husband that you are better. After all, you have been together for a long time, no one knows your husband better than you, everything is in your hands. Take action.
Still, we decided to return the love and respect of our husband
One of the options to return normal relationships is a joint vacation. Go on vacation together, go away from home. To the sea or to the mountains. Rest will bring back your lightness and give you new sensations. You will be able to remember your youth, and your feelings will flare up with renewed vigor. No time to rest? Arrange it, send the children to grandma, while you make yourself beautiful and serve dinner by candlelight. I bring to your attention some tips for improving relationships: Try not to get hung up and think less about the bad. Think and remember only good moments, try to appreciate every minute spent together. Try to do everything together, divide household chores equally. Never avoid intimate relationships. You shouldn’t transfer the problem to other women; it’s not their fault that your husband has lost interest in you.
Do not forget that having regained respect and love, you will have a long and laborious job of finalizing and maintaining a new relationship.
I wish you to love and be whatever you want, and also to regain your husband’s respect.
