It is very difficult to make a person who has been deceived by you believe you. How to regain the trust of a guy who has repeatedly caught you in lies, especially if he is a supporter of open and honest relationships? How to regain your husband's trust if the family boat is wrecked due to a woman's infidelity? It’s not for nothing that they say that “the sword does not cut off a guilty head,” and many women are ready, having confessed, to return everything back.
If we consider that after a lie, men, for the most part, do not even want to look in the direction of the woman who betrayed them, a reasonable answer suggests itself - there is no point in trying. However, the hope of restoring the relationship makes women think again and again about how to regain the trust of their loved one.
Pitfalls of possible reconciliation
A man who has lost confidence in his wife or girlfriend, first of all, suffers greatly from his self-esteem. Not every member of the stronger sex can withstand this powerful blow. Constantly seeing before your eyes the one who chose another man over him or who shamelessly deceived him for a long time is very difficult.
Constantly tormented by doubts: “Why am I worse?”, “What did she find in him?”, “How was it all with them, the same as with me, or differently?”, “She probably thinks I’m a fool.” , capable of swallowing any lie! When hugging and kissing the offender, men involuntarily imagine how the other one did it. Listening to compliments addressed to him from a girl, the guy thinks: “She probably said the same words to him!”
Would you like your every move to be checked and monitored, so that the contents of your phone and correspondence on social networks are subject to severe censorship? How do you like repeated questions: “Well, tell me how everything was with you, I will forget and forgive everything!”
Don’t flatter yourself, he won’t forget and won’t forgive, at least in the next few years. Girls who are thinking about how to regain the trust of a loved one after lies and betrayal should think carefully about whether they need such reconciliation.
A textbook version of adultery - Tatyana, the wife of a long-distance sailor, a young and beautiful woman, could not stand even the first separation from her husband. Her temperament threw her, as they say in cheap novels, into the arms of a man he accidentally met while visiting a friend. The affair dragged on; I didn’t even want to think about my husband’s return from the flight. The little son wandered around with compassionate neighbors; only the lazy did not point a finger at her.
The navigator's career ended as soon as it began; the husband quit and found a land profession. He did not leave his wife, it was a pity to part with his son, and he loved her in his own way, but his friends no longer appeared in their house. And Tatyana turned from a buttery little thing, shining with a thirst for life, into a woman with a haunted look. She had nowhere to go, in a big foreign city she did not have a single soulmate, all her relatives lived in a province far away.
She was not faced with the question of how to win her husband’s trust. This could not be done even after twenty years. The son, for whose sake the semblance of a family was preserved, grew up, and two strangers, out of habit, continued to live together. In order not to completely ruin your life, when deciding how to earn the trust of the man you love, you need to weigh the pros and cons many times.
If you continue to love him, you are no longer going to sincerely lie to him, but you consider a casual relationship a mistake - fight for your happiness!
Steps to reconciliation with your husband after cheating
If there was a fact of betrayal, then experts advise behaving calmly and measuredly in such situations. Your partner, either suspecting you of cheating, or having already learned this truth from you, can behave aggressively, viciously, say a lot of hurtful words, and in this case, this will be a completely adequate reaction to the pain that you caused. You shouldn’t give up this relationship, you definitely need to fight for it. To do this you need to take the following steps:
- You shouldn’t remain silent and wait until the whole current situation resolves itself. You need to talk to your partner. Moreover, it is important to be as honest and frank as possible, to tell the whole truth, even if it is difficult to tell a loved one. Denying betrayal can only worsen the situation between partners. It is also important to conduct the dialogue in such a way that the man understands that you want to regain his trust;
- If a man asks questions, you should try to answer them openly and honestly. New lies will not help you restore your relationship. It is worth answering even those questions that you would not like to discuss;
- a girl’s betrayal deals a strong blow to the male psyche, because by such an act she demonstrates that she has chosen another man. That is why it is important for a woman to convince her partner that she is done with the person with whom she cheated;
- there is no need to try to find excuses for the woman, to explain the reasons for your misconduct, you just need to admit your guilt, ask for forgiveness from the person dear to you.
Lies and broken promises
How to regain the trust of your loved one if you constantly lie to him? There are girls who, as they say, “if you tell a lie, they’ll take it cheaply,” and for whom outright lies cannot stay on their tongues. They do this for various reasons, this is a topic for a separate conversation, but the essence of male logic in a relationship with such a girl is something like this: “If she deceives me in small things, then she cannot be trusted at all.”
The young man will involuntarily begin to look for evidence confirming his assumptions, adjust the most harmless phrases and actions to fit his “theory,” and then present them as irrefutable proof of the girl’s guilt. After several months of such pressure, it’s not far from a nervous breakdown.
Natural advice in such circumstances is that you should not deceive anyone even in small things, so that you do not have to solve the problem of how to gain trust. Lena (one of our heroines) thought the same thing when she decided to start a new life based only on the truth. She told Maxim absolutely everything after there was a break in their romantic relationship. A harmless lie about how much new shoes cost turned into a reason to break up with a “pathological liar.”
This is exactly how Maxim described her, listing even those offenses that she forgot to even think about. Concerned about how to restore trust, Lena tried her best to make her words seem more believable, but it only turned out worse. The picky Maxim tediously listed her phrases that aroused his suspicion, until the girl suddenly realized that she would have to listen to this for the rest of her days.
That's where it all ended - it turned out that everything was just an excuse for ending an outdated relationship. No wonder they say: “If he loves, he will forgive.” As for unfulfilled promises, it is still better not to bind yourself to any oaths and vows if you do not feel the strength to fulfill them. And if you happen to fail to keep a promise, be sincere, take the time and explain the reason for this situation.
Sincerity captivates almost any person, and even more so the man who loves you. He will definitely understand and forgive if he loves, of course, and he won’t have to worry about how to regain trust in the relationship.
How to restore your figure after childbirth?
Finally, you have waited for this long-awaited and most joyful moment in your life - you have become a mother. Happiness and experiences overwhelm you. However, you just have to look at your body in the mirror, and the joy fades a little. But you shouldn’t worry too much about it if you have stretch marks, extra folds or age spots, all this can be easily removed, the main thing is desire and effort.
How to restore your figure after childbirth? First of all, you need to be patient, because this process is long, and you will not get the desired result in a day. Every woman needs a special individual method for losing weight and regaining her figure after giving birth. The main thing is not to debug your training for tomorrow, but you shouldn’t rush, let your baby grow up a little, and then go into battle, only if the doctor confirms that physical exercise and stress will not harm you.
If you decide to exclude training and go on a diet, before doing this, consult with a specialist, a nutritionist. A great solution to get rid of your problem will be auto-training; there are no contraindications to this hobby, and this will give you the impetus to return to your previous forms. Remind yourself every day that you will succeed. It is important to combine work, raising a child with rest, because proper rest of the body is not only an opportunity to relax and forget about problems for a while, but also a wonderful way to be healthy.
Try to be nervous and upset as little as possible from misunderstandings and fatigue, be more happy and recharge with positive energy from your baby. It often happens that after childbirth, recovery is necessary not only for the figure, but also for nails, teeth, and hair. Since the child, while still in the womb, took all the useful substances from our body, there is a high probability that your nails will begin to peel, and your hair will become lifeless, brittle and dull. To avoid this, you need to consume an infusion of apple peels daily (and the pulp will serve as an afternoon snack for your child).
If after the birth of a child, your hair began to fall out and became weak, then it is best to give yourself a short haircut and rub it into your hair, the solution is made on the basis of burdock oil, onion juice and birch sap, to which you need to add alcohol, vodka or cognac . But let’s return to the question: How to restore your figure after childbirth? How to overcome excess weight? If your baby is breastfed, you have noticed that your appetite has noticeably increased, and this is how it should be; with good nutrition, the baby receives all the necessary nutrients from your milk. But still, you shouldn’t feed yourself; you should give preference to healthy, low-calorie foods, such as: boiled meat and fish, fresh vegetables and fruits, cereals, dairy products, walnuts.
These products contain a large and necessary amount of useful microelements, which will be enough for your baby to live a full life. Thus, you have the opportunity not only to gain extra calories, but, on the contrary, to lose excess ones. If your birth was successful, and there is no reason to worry about your health, then you can start physical exercise within a couple of weeks after giving birth.
Don’t immediately load yourself with heavy exercises, start with the easiest ones: walking, bending over and doing pull-ups on the horizontal bar. As you know, if you have a baby in your arms, you really don’t have time to take care of yourself, but only those who don’t want to do it think so. There are many ways to complete tasks without wasting your precious time, but combine them with useful household chores. For example, bending and squats can be done while your child’s food is heating up or while cleaning your home.
A wonderful way to remove excess calories is to carry a child in your arms, this will strengthen the muscles of the arms and back. Don’t forget about walks in the fresh air, because no matter how effectively it allows us to get rid of the kilograms we have gained. Another disadvantage after childbirth is a stretched and saggy belly. If you were involved in sports before the birth of your baby, it will be much easier to restore your previous shape, but if not, you will need to work hard to achieve the desired goal.
Every day, take a contrast shower and massage your abdomen with water that runs under pressure; such massaging movements must be performed clockwise for about 20 minutes. How to restore your figure after childbirth? Perform simple abdominal movements. Let's say lie on your back and raise and lower your legs, this is a great way to pump up your abdominal muscles. That's all, everything else depends directly on your desire and desire to acquire attractive forms.
"The monster with green eyes..."
This is exactly how the famous poet described jealousy. How to win the trust of a jealous person? You will not win him, even if you follow this person, being fastened to him with iron chains. There will always be something to reproach you with, something to reproach you with. We are talking about pathological jealousy, which is the job of a psychotherapist to treat.
Even if its cause is childhood psychological trauma, or a previous damaged relationship with another woman, will this make you feel better? There is no need to make excuses and remember the proverb: “He is jealous, which means he loves.” He loves, but first of all he wants to protect his beloved from the worries and torments of jealousy.
You will receive continuous reports about where you were and why you didn’t immediately pick up the phone. Not everyone can live with such an Othello, only if love for such a person borders on self-sacrifice.
Psychologist's opinion on his wife's infidelity
The psychologist's advice on how to forgive your wife's infidelity is as follows:
- it is important to understand that if you want to save your family and connect your life with this person, then this woman’s offense must be forgiven and let go of grievances;
- after you have learned about the fact of betrayal, it is better to spend some time in your thoughts, let go of anger, anger, and as soon as you move away, you should talk to the woman;
- It is important to remember that life is full of disappointments and difficulties. You need to be able to overcome them, preserving the most valuable thing in your life. Everyone has the right to make mistakes;
- You shouldn’t give up on a person if they cheat, because the difficulties you’ve experienced can only unite you even more;
- Having committed such an offense, a woman should be patient. If she wants to regain her trust, she must remember that this is a long process;
- try to be close to your partner: both physically and spiritually. This will alleviate emotional stress.
The main thing is not to lose faith in yourself
A man becomes desperate when he has no support. The woman is most likely reassured by relatives and friends. And an unfaithful husband is unlikely to receive not only help - it is difficult for him to hope for verbal support.
- In such a difficult situation, you need to try not to lose heart and continue to believe that everything will work out and your wife can be returned. Follow these rules and everything will be fine:
- after the incident, talk to your loved one calmly, without unnecessary emotions. Don't try to blame her or prove that you're right. Forget all grievances and omissions;
- It is important to understand that a deceived woman will not want to renew her relationship with a man who constantly whines. All the more unacceptable are hysterics with scandals in attempts to return your beloved;
- do not rule out the possibility that your woman will try to take revenge on you. She may have already found a replacement for you, or is trying to find one. If this happens, then accept her decision, don’t argue. It will be almost impossible to return it. But it’s still worth talking about it.
When a woman understands that she has the last word, she will be grateful to you. This will once again emphasize how repentant you are. Having gained independence and the opportunity to decide whether to return or not, the woman will definitely think about the answer and make a decision.
In any case, there is no need to rush. Take advantage of the time during which your wife makes a decision and try not to repeat such mistakes again.
