Is it important to make peace with a friend after a strong quarrel?
Let's consider a situation where you have a conflict and are now thinking about how to make peace with your best friend. Sometimes it happens that thoughts come when we think, is it worth putting up with a person? Is it possible that the quarrel that occurred was for the better?
In reality, both options may be true. To avoid making a mistake with your choice, use the following recommendations:
- You may not go for reconciliation if during the conflict or the cause of the conflict was the disclosure of serious issues. Actions have been committed that cannot be forgiven. Unfortunately, such cases are not uncommon. After all, a person grows up and changes, as do his views on life and his actions. Previously, you were inseparable, but now you completely do not understand each other. When you renew your friendship, you will most likely quarrel again in the future. Looking at the situation from this point of view, it would be better to leave everything as it is, but before that, carefully analyze what happened.
- If you think that your communication can be productive and friendly, then it is better to make peace with your friend. Whatever one may say, over the years there are fewer and fewer friends. Especially those who can be trusted, so you shouldn’t waste such a gift. Renewing friendships and the path to reconciliation can be unpleasant and painful, but having strong friendships and reliable people is worth it.
Situation options
How to make peace with your best friend depends on the specific situation. In most cases, you can make things right by asking for forgiveness. It's trivial, but not everyone wants to take the first step. There can be many reasons for this - embarrassment, shame, anger, misunderstanding, etc.
If I'm offended
Offenses must be forgiven, especially if they arise over trifles. A girl who sincerely apologized can be a great friend in the future. You should not be stubborn, prolong the conflict, or demonstrate your feelings - this will not lead to anything good.
If the quarrel has already exhausted itself, then it is better to forget about the conflict that occurred. Everyone makes mistakes, you can’t be angry with a person for the rest of your life, especially if he has long repented of his offense. You can’t return the past, so it’s recommended not to remember old scandals.
If my friend gets offended
It’s more difficult to answer the question of how to make peace with a friend if she doesn’t want to talk. Then it becomes clear that the quarrel was serious, apparently, the incident greatly hurt the friend. You need to sincerely and from the bottom of your heart ask her for forgiveness, say that this will not happen again and keep your promise. You definitely need to give her time to think, not put pressure or manipulate.
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If the cause of the scandal has not yet been resolved, then it should be eliminated. You also need to accept the fact that your ex-friend does not want to continue communicating. This is her right, maybe after a while everything will return to normal. But under no circumstances should you harm a person or be angry with him for this.
If I'm to blame for our quarrel
A girl who is thinking about how to make peace with her friend, if I am to blame, should take her side. You should think about why that girl is even angry, what hurt her so much. If the reason is obvious and clear, then it is necessary to resolve it. If not, then it would be worth bringing the girl out for a frank conversation. As a result of the conversation, it may become clear that the person is not satisfied with some aspects of such a friendship. Girls should decide what they agree to in order to continue communication, and whether they want to compromise.
It is not always possible to restore former friendships - people leave and this should be accepted. Forgiveness and reconciliation are voluntary; no one should be pushed into it, much less demanded. A friend doesn’t want to reconcile, so it’s her decision. If girls respect each other, then they should understand and accept this.
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If the culprit of the quarrel is a friend
As mentioned above, no matter how close the connection to a person is, some actions should not be forgotten. Yes, if a quarrel occurred over a trifle, then it is better to ignore it. But when a friend systematically commits some nasty things and ruins the lives of her friends, you need to run away from such a person.
Mean, evil, envious girlfriends should not be excused. You need to quietly and peacefully stop contacting them, refusing to spend time together. When a friend herself tries to make peace and writes on VK or other social networks, you can unsubscribe to her that the grievances are forgotten and not respond further.
If another girl is to blame, but she does not ask for forgiveness, then you should discuss the current situation with her, say that it was unpleasant to see such actions on her part. Maybe she will also answer that she is upset by the quarrel or say that she recognizes selfishness on her part. Then friendship will be restored, communication will be the same.
If the guy was the reason
Surely the girlfriend will not want to make peace if the conflict occurred because of the guy. Situations can be very different:
- When a girl starts dating a guy her friend likes, she should tell her straight out that the sympathy is mutual. The friend has to choose whether she is ready to communicate further or prefers to break the connection. But you still need to explain your position - to say that the relationship with the guy began because of the feelings that arose, and not because of the desire to harm someone.
- Both girls fell in love with the same young man. If he is indifferent to both, then there is nothing to worry about. You just need to agree that no one will communicate with him secretly, and each of the friends will be honest with the other.
- The guy was meeting two acquaintances. You should break off any ties with him and communicate as before. It’s no one’s fault that that person did this to both friends.
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There are also situations when the LP wants to make peace, but the quarrel occurred due to a bad relationship with the young man. That is, the girlfriend is either jealous or considers the guy a bad person, unworthy, ill-mannered, rude or something else. In this case, it is important to explain to her that she has no right to point out such things, and everyone meets with whomever they see fit. Only this should be expressed tactfully, without aggression.
It is advisable to contact these people separately so that they do not intersect in common companies. Then there will be no reasons for new conflicts.
If I publicly shamed or slandered her or she
It’s difficult to figure out what to write to a friend if she has committed some ugly act in public - she has shamed her, slandered her, or made a bad joke. It is recommended to ask why she did it. Maybe the girl herself will admit to making a mistake and say that she is ashamed to remember it.
If the opposite situation occurs, then you need to do the same - admit guilt and ask for forgiveness. Naturally, you should tell your friends that everything is not true, it’s a misunderstanding, and laugh it off. In a few days everyone will forget this situation.
Every person makes mistakes, you cannot avoid them. But you still need to think about what to say and to whom, especially if we are talking about a close friend. We must promise her that such situations will not happen again in the future, and make a promise from her. It is important that no interpersonal grievances remain, because of which the friend might want to take revenge for what happened.
If my friend doesn't pay back the debt or I owe money
A girl can also be offended by her friend because of finances. For example, if she did not return the money within the agreed time frame. If a friend apologized and explained that she was having difficulties, then she should have accepted the situation. Trouble can happen to anyone when there is simply no way to repay the debt. It’s worse if the girl ignores questions, disappears somewhere, doesn’t get in touch, but it’s known that everything is fine with her.
Then the most reasonable option would be to ask her to repay the debt as soon as possible, and then interrupt communication.
There is a possibility that she is ashamed herself, but she is embarrassed to discuss it.
When a friend gave you a loan, you need to return it to her. If there is no reason, then you should ask for a deferment. Sometimes it is better to reborrow from someone if they have unexpected problems. In such cases, you should think not only about yourself, but also about your loved ones.
Universal methods of reconciliation
To understand how to make peace with a classmate, colleague or best friend, you need to adhere to certain rules:
Determining the cause of the quarrel
It is very important to determine exactly the cause, and not its consequences. Let me give you this example: a random unpleasant phrase is a form of reason, and the resulting resentment arises because a friend considers you fat - the essence of the quarrel. Being late for a meeting will be a form, lack of respect is the essence of the problem. It is very important to determine what is really causing it.
Seeking compromise or concessions
Ideally, you will both come to a compromise, but this doesn't always happen, so be prepared for it. If you have offended your friend, then please find the strength within yourself to apologize. If the problem is lack of care, promise that you will be more careful next time. If you cannot find a compromise, look together for a solution to the situation that will be most acceptable for both of you. For the sake of friendship, you can give in a little.
Stop being shy to show your feelings
Try not to stand in a pose, but share your feelings with your friend. Tell her how dear she is to you, how good she is and how much you love her, that your friendship is very valuable to you, and you want to strengthen it with all your might. If for a friend friendship turns out to be more than just an empty phrase, then hearing a speech in this direction, she will follow your example and try to participate in a constructive conversation.
Breaking up a childhood friendship
Many begin their communication in early years. Due to youthful maximalism, girls think that this is friendship for the rest of their lives. But often this is not the case. There are many reasons why you can quarrel with your friend forever at school. The reasons may be the most banal. Because this is the time when girls get offended by even the smallest offenses of their friends. There is some tension in the relationship that may remain until the end of school.
Let's note a few main reasons why teenage friendships fall apart:
- Different views in assessing the opposite sex, especially peers, who can already pay attention to girls at this age.
- The difference is in interests, interests, hobbies. In this case, circles and sections will help, where you can find people who will be close in spirit.
- Children's maximalism leads to the fact that girls are offended by little things that an adult might not even notice.
How to make peace with a friend if she is to blame
Don't forget that you are solely responsible for your actions and words. What is going on in her soul and what her friend will do is known only to her. In this regard, if you think that the blame for the quarrel that occurred lies with her, and she does not take steps towards reconciliation, start from your own feelings and thoughts, and most importantly, from the significance of friendly relations with her.
If you feel uncomfortable because of the conflict that has occurred and want to renew your friendship as soon as possible, then take the first step. Share your feelings with your friend, offer to meet and show your desire to find a compromise solution. There is no need to expect that her conscience will awaken in her or that she will cry and apologize to you. Everyone looks at the world and the events happening in it in their own way. Certain people don't know how to ask for forgiveness at all. If your friend turned out to be one of these, then her regret over what happened can be noticed by other non-verbal moments in her behavior and you can still make peace.
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Ways to fix relationships
Once the decision is made to maintain the friendship, all that remains is to find ways to restore the old relationship. You need to start small - establish contact. This is an important step towards restoring friendships. Only by completely closing the conflict situation through a frank conversation can girls remain friends, and there will be fewer omissions and misunderstandings between them.
In the absence of ignore
The first step is to try to call the girl and talk to her directly or arrange a meeting. If she doesn’t want to talk and listen to explanations on the phone, you should write to your friend on VK or another social network what you want to tell her live.
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The message length should not be too long. It is better to briefly explain your intentions and invite your friend to a meeting for a detailed conversation. The tone should be calm. There is no need to overwhelm her with a lot of explanations that the girl will not read.
A good idea is to send a happy photo or a funny video or a funny meme picture together. This will make your friend smile and forget about the offense at least for a minute. This tactic is suitable if the disagreement is not too strong, otherwise it is better to choose a neutral communication style until the relationship is restored.
If your friend does not answer, then there is no need to impose. It’s better to take a break and watch the situation develop in the future: an unexpected event can always happen that will have a positive impact on friendly relations.
If a friend blocked
A girl's behavior can be radical. If she was so offended that she blocked her friend’s account on all social networks and even in the phone book, it will be more difficult to reach her.
In this case, you need to forget about pride and go home to your friend. But first you need to listen to your inner feelings: if the blocking was a designation of personal boundaries, then the trip will be a violation of them. When there are doubts and a subconscious understanding of the criticality of the quarrel, it is better not to waste energy on trying to restore friendship.
But if your friend is acting this way out of stubbornness, a trip can make all the difference. Even if she is offended, the girl will definitely open the door to her best friend. In this case, you need to stock up on cake or other sweets for tea. Friendly gatherings will quickly return the relationship to its previous course.
How to make peace with a friend if it's my fault
In such a situation, making peace with your girlfriend is much easier, since everything will depend on you. The exception is when you are one of those people for whom it is easier to jump in front of a car than to say “forgive me.”
If you understand that you are to blame and sincerely regret what happened, then bring your friend to a conversation and explain to her that in the future you will try to prevent a similar situation from happening again. If you find it difficult to apologize, then use the following phrases:
- Forgive me, I'm sorry about what happened.
- I am guilty before you and I want to make amends.
- Sorry, I don't know what came over me, it won't happen again.
- And similar phrases.
The purpose of an apology is for your friend to understand that you realize you were wrong and are sincere in your apology. When apologizing, you can focus on evoking unpleasant emotions rather than on the action. This way, the internal state will not be affected, and you will still apologize to the person.
How to make peace with a pen pal
If you communicate with your girlfriend exclusively through correspondence, then you have only 2 tools: write a message and wait for a response. The essence is the same as when communicating in real life. If they don’t want to have a dialogue with you, wait, give time to think, and only then can you start a conversation. Try to understand the feelings and thoughts of your loved one and think about how you can reach a compromise solution to the problem.
In your opinion, to make peace with your friend, what should you do? Share your opinion in the comments.
