Disagreements, sadly enough, can happen in every couple. And if some of them can easily be called trivial, then others, unfortunately, can belong to the “heavy weight category” and even threaten relationships. How to make peace with a guy after a strong quarrel? In this article, we will describe to you step-by-step detailed instructions on how to behave so that he forgives you, forgets about the offense and returns to you with a bouquet of flowers (if suddenly your quarrel was so strong that he decided to leave you!). Simply put, we will explain to you in detail how to ask for forgiveness so that he agrees to reconciliation quickly and without problems.
So, if you are to blame and have seriously offended a man, then we advise you not to delay reconciliation, but you shouldn’t immediately run to him with an apology either. Men don’t like long squabbles, they don’t like to create and sort out problems out of the blue, and even more so they hate it when their brains are “blowed out”, so they only get offended in the most extreme cases. If he was seriously offended by you, then there was a reason. You screwed up a lot. This means that he now has a lot of negative emotions inside him, which were caused by...you! Therefore, in order for him to forgive you, you need to give the man time. About 10 – 14 days. This time will be enough for him to cool down a little after your quarrel, come to his senses, be able to talk to you normally, and most importantly, not answer you through gritted teeth.
So, the steps you need to take for reconciliation: 1 Wait for time. By the way, you also need it in order to calm down and think about what words you will choose to make peace with your loved one.
2 Tell him directly that you are very sorry. The biggest offense you can cause in a man’s heart is cheating on him. But even in this seemingly hopeless situation, there is a chance that he will forgive you. Tell him directly that you are very sorry for your “jamb,” but don’t just ask for forgiveness, but explain to your loved one that you didn’t offend him on purpose. And even more so, you had no intention of hurting him. You were wrong. It’s stupid, banal, but each of us has the right to make mistakes; no one is immune from mistakes. You regret that you made this mistake and are not going to repeat it, because the relationship with your loved one is more important to you than adrenaline. If you cheated on your loved one, do not forget to mention that it was an accidental and not a deliberate betrayal, and you can even say that the current casual lover cannot be compared with your boyfriend (a nasty attack, but effective, it will help you get forgiveness of a beloved man).
3 Give him the opportunity to make sure that you have improved. If he is ready to give you a second chance, it means the man loves and trusts you. Try not to betray his trust a second time, do everything possible so as not to lose it. So, after your reconciliation, he will definitely check you. A sediment in his soul still remains, and this sediment does not allow him to live peacefully further until the man is 100 percent convinced that he can forgive you and trust you again. Therefore, try to make up for your “jamb” with exemplary behavior. This does not mean that you should beg him to forgive you a hundred times, and then try to earn his trust by endlessly pleasing him in everything. This is exactly what it is not recommended to do. If you asked for forgiveness, ask no more than twice, then the man will decide for himself whether to forgive you or not.
But, if he is ready to give you a second chance , make sure that he no longer doubts your intentions. Eliminate the cause of your disagreement once and for all so that he is no longer irritated about it.
4 Do something nice for him. You should definitely pamper your loved one in gratitude for the fact that he found the strength to trust you again, and for the fact that he loves you. Make a surprise: cook a delicious dinner, buy him something good, give him a gift, or give yourself, bright and sexy, who is ready for a night of love only with him, the one and only.
In a word, prove to your loved one by your actions that his trust is important to you and you don’t want to lose this trust!
Before continuing reading, we recommend watching the following video:
5 If a man doesn’t make contact, write to him. Letter, email, SMS, Viber message - as you wish, the main thing is to convey to your loved one a simple and important idea: you are very sorry. You love him and cannot live without him. This must be done so that the man “removes the defense of the offended boy” and gets in touch with you.
In addition, after reconciliation, we strongly recommend that you behave in an exemplary manner, at least for the first six months. Ideally, as we have already mentioned, it would be good if you found out the cause of your conflict and destroyed it once and for all. Then there will be no reason for quarrels.
So, if we go through this text again and draw a short conclusion from the article, then the answer to your question: “How to make peace with a guy after a strong quarrel?” will sound like this: gradually.
Do not rush to him immediately after your conflict, especially do not become hysterical and do not beg him. No. Give the man time to calm down, come to his senses and maybe even miss you and your company.
Then start apologizing:
- Talk to him, find out the cause of the offense and eliminate it, once and for all.
- Tell him directly that you offended him stupidly, unintentionally, by accident. You are a living person who tends to make mistakes, you made a mistake and did not want to offend him so much.
- Give him the opportunity to make sure that you are serious, don’t give him any more reason to be offended.
- Do something nice for him. Prove through your actions that he is important to you.
- If a man does not make contact, write to him. Your task is to convey to him the main words that you want to say so that he “melts” and “removes his defenses.”
But what if the guy doesn’t make contact?
There may be two reasons: you seriously offended the guy or he has very low self-esteem.
Well, if you seriously offended him, then you need to get him back to yourself in every possible way: calls, SMS, meetings. But under no circumstances should you be very intrusive. Ask for forgiveness. He must understand that in life there are many different situations, even those in which he can find himself. But if your boyfriend still has high self-esteem, then you should think hard about whether it’s worth apologizing to such a complete egoist. After all, you are not obliged to “walk on your toes” in front of him, because then, over time, he will begin to “wipe his feet on you.”
Why take the first step?
A quarrel is always very unpleasant for both parties. The emergence of conflict significantly complicates communication between spouses. In addition, there is a tense state of tension in the house, and if the spouses have children, this negatively affects their upbringing.
Taking the first step is very important, because due to pride there is a risk of losing your family. I would like to note that conciliatory steps are always difficult. But this does not mean that the side that decided to make concessions suffers a “defeat.”
In psychology there is the concept of “giving in to win.” Conflict situations, as a rule, give rise to negative emotions. They, in turn, become excellent soil for protracted scandals and misunderstandings in the family. As a result, there is a high percentage of divorces among families.
“Give in to win” is not a way to admit weakness. Rather, it is a tool for preserving the marriage and maintaining a healthy atmosphere in the home. A man is not always ready to do this due to his character and steadfastness. That is why the role of “conciliator” often goes to a woman who, by definition, has a softer character.
Who is to blame for the quarrel and what to do?
It is always difficult for a person to admit his guilt. Each side maintains its innocence in the scandal. Do you value your couple and don’t want to ruin it? Avoid such tactics. Try to look at the problem as an outside observer.
For example, you assume that the man is to blame. Now, from the position of a loving girl, think about whether you can justify his wrongdoing. As you know, three things cannot be forgiven: betrayal, meanness, treason. At the very least, hush up this phantom and pretend that nothing happened.
A person who cheated on his partner once will do it again. So why try to win back a guy who has no faith? If the motive for the scandal and separation was an unpleasant phrase or a rash act, then nothing can stop you from forgiving your partner.
If you are to blame, then analyze the situation, think about how to get your loved one to forgive you. How strong is your guilt? Do you think that if you were in the young man's place, you would be able to forgive? Whatever it is, ask for forgiveness and try to convince the guy that you need to stop the quarrel.
Advice from psychologists
If distance became the reason for the separation, then the possibility of resuming the relationship, even being far from each other, is not excluded.
The key role is played by the correct behavior of a partner who does not want to lose his other half.
The psychology of men and women has some differences. This nuance must be taken into account. Experts on the issue of returning your other half from a distance recommend using several techniques.
How to make a guy jealous? You will find practical recommendations on our website.
How to get a girl back from a distance and change everything in your relationship:
How to reconcile a couple you know
If you are looking for solutions on how to reconcile a friend with a guy, there can be only one piece of advice - ideally, smart and loving people can make peace themselves, because they value each other, despite their grievances.
By making efforts to reconcile a guy and a girl, you can only destroy this relationship completely. This happens because usually the lever for reconciliation is shared pleasant, intimate memories to which you, even with the closest relationships, will not be privy.
Each of them will think that you were sent by the “enemy” camp and are up to something. There should be no mediator in resolving such issues between lovers.
The only thing that can be done if people break up rashly or don’t reconcile for a long time is to advise them to finally do it. For example, tell a guy that everyone can quarrel, and their relationship was really worth it to make peace and try to forgive each other. Say the same to the girl. After thinking about it, weighing the benefits of this relationship, someone definitely makes peace.
If nothing helps, take it for granted - in other people’s relationships there is a lot that is unsaid, incomprehensible and secret for everyone else, therefore, even with a good outcome, you may suddenly remain the culprit of their quarrel.
How to make amends
We will not discuss individual approaches to a man, since a woman always knows better how to quickly cheer up and distract her beloved man with all his characteristics.
Let's discuss how to find an approach if you had a fight due to your fault and want to make peace after separation. Prove to him that you need him as a reliable shoulder and soul mate, and not as a wallet, assistant, homeowner (underline as appropriate).
Approach the issue sincerely - men also feel good when they are lied to and flattered. Give him time to think about the question - women often take time because they want to test a man’s endurance and his willingness to wait, and men need time because they really think and hesitate, approaching the issue critically.
Try to prove your love with care and attention, do not remember his mistakes with the implication that your mistakes were made mutually or in retaliation - both in relation to a man and in relation to a woman, this indicates that the mistakes were not forgiven.
How to behave
When a woman quarrels with a guy, she tends to behave somewhat arrogantly and condescendingly, wait for the first step and an apology, and keep him at a distance from her.
Remember that such behavior does not show you from the best side. You may be offended for a day or two, but if, in response to his sincere desire to make peace, you continue to hold your head high and be capricious, you can cause a serious insult to the person.
Think about it, if you came to apologize, and the guy looked condescendingly and replied that he might think about your apology at his leisure, would you continue the conversation for at least another minute? Wounded pride, which one has to overcome after a quarrel, is not only a woman’s feeling.
However, behave with dignity. Respond in kind - this is the best thing you can do when you quarrel with a guy. Accept his apology sincerely and apologize yourself if he engages in dialogue, but do not seek his attention if he does not show it.
