Deciding to divorce is not easy, and the decision does not come in an hour. Even if the surrounding relatives and friends get divorced. It is much more painful for a woman when her husband decides to take this step. On a subconscious level, she cannot come to terms with the fact that after five to ten years of marriage she turns out to be unnecessary to a loved one, the father of her children. And it’s a shame for her to be left alone after many years of living together. With children, problems (including material ones). She turns to her friends and family with her troubles. And everyone consults together, thinks and discusses the sore subject, whether husbands return after divorce. And it is concluded that there is no clear answer.
Typical behavior of a man immediately after a divorce
Regardless of the character and behavior in marriage, often after a divorce a man begins to revel in the freedom he has received. He ignores depression, lyrical memories and other consequences of what happened and does not seem to suffer. From the outside it seems that he doesn’t care about divorce.
For some time he may be in euphoria and anticipation of new acquaintances and numerous sexual relationships. He begins to date 2, 3, 8 or more women in order to again feel the forgotten novelty. Of course, sex with your wife and new partners is very different. But gradually he can feel that along with the desired pleasures, which in reality may not be so wonderful, temporary companions also upset and disappoint. They turn out to be not so caring, tactful and, of course, faithful.
Feelings after divorce: second stage
In order to interest unfamiliar women, it can take a lot of effort and tension. You need to be interesting, be able to seduce, give pleasure and not be considered a boring partner. An intimate relationship without emotion and affection quickly becomes boring. Then, after a divorce, after some time, the man again strives for a strong relationship. He feels the need to be appreciated, loved and supported in difficult times.
Life, which previously seemed bright and rich, turns out to be empty and, for some reason, does not bring happiness.
Therefore, already after 4, 6, 8 months, a year or after two years from the time of divorce, men experience a decline in sexual activity. Some even reject beautiful women who offer them sex.
A divorced guy may feel confused, lonely, depressed, and lost interest in work. Even at 30 years old, this can be accompanied by a sexual disorder. Only when the crisis reaches its peak can a man come to a psychologist.
Of course, this does not always happen. Breakups happen for various reasons. Some of them make further relationships impossible. But more than half of men remarry within 5 to 8 years after a breakup. And the majority, although they do not regret divorcing their wife, and do not intend to return, continue to believe that she was the best.
How to live after divorce
As you can see, a man after a divorce is going through not the easiest times. Therefore, it is very important at this time not to rush from one extreme to another. Promiscuous sexual relations and alcohol abuse quickly exhaust him. To survive a divorce from his wife with dignity, he needs to make plans, strive for new goals and make efforts to achieve them. A career, a new hobby, sports and a lot of other interesting things will help fill the gaping void.
During periods of crisis, regardless of whether he is 30, 40 or 50, instead of addictions that devastate a man, the best way to recover from a divorce is work. It will not hinder his rehabilitation as much as other ways to forget. But this also needs to be done in moderation.
He can forget about the 8-hour working day and get so caught up in work that he begins to ignore his inner emptiness and set impossible goals for himself, which require not twenty-four, but thirty-eight hours a day. The result will be a feeling of inability to implement plans.
This behavior is typical for a man after a divorce if his ex-wife demanded too much. And he had accumulated anger that never came out. Then the man begins to demand a lot from himself. He internally becomes like his ex-wife. Then achieving very difficult goals will require incredible efforts that will not leave a single free minute.
But after a divorce, a man must soberly evaluate himself in order to find his new love among many women, who will love and support him. If you don’t do this, he will paint himself into a meaningless corner. It may seem that without a relationship it will be much easier to achieve your plans. Of course, before starting them, he must clearly know how to live further. But it is not at all necessary not to allow another woman into your life until a new goal is taken. Ideally, his life path should be balanced, so that there are 8 hours for work and hours for love.
It is difficult to say definitively how much time a man needs after a divorce. You should recover as much as necessary. It’s better to try to bring calm into your life, engage in introspection, and understand the reasons why you managed to separate your spouses. You need to adequately evaluate your contribution and mistakes in relationships. Then this will be taken into account in a future love affair. Otherwise, everything may happen again with another woman.
The psychology of men and women may be the same after a divorce. For example, they begin to blame each other for what happened and almost throw mud at each other. Then the man concludes that his wife was not suitable for him. Therefore, he thinks it’s good that they got divorced. But, even though such conclusions are common to a man after a divorce, they are incorrect and harmful. It is known in psychology that in this way they try to transfer the burden of responsibility onto each other. Then, without solving problems in one relationship, people transfer them to others.
In addition to the typical behavior of how men behave after a divorce, they usually tend to easily forget past relationships, but not forgive. In this case, intolerance will manifest itself in other respects.
Even if the fault of the breakup lies with the ex-wife, you should not take revenge on her. To start a new life with another woman from scratch, it is important to say goodbye to your ex-wife correctly. But this does not mean stopping loving her. It is not at all necessary to move into a state of hatred or indifference towards the one with whom you previously had a lot in common. You can try to remain on friendly terms. Then it is much easier to let new love into your life.
Features of male psychology
Men's psychology is a little different than women's. It is the ex-wife who worries, becomes depressed, and is afraid of loneliness. Meanwhile, her ex-husband, intoxicated by freedom, is “having a blast.” It seems to him that the whole world has opened up before them: sleep with whomever you want, eat and drink whatever you want, go wherever you want, return home when you want and no reproaches, angry looks after drinking a glass and, by the way, no one holding your hand doesn't hold. In addition, there is no need to visit your spouse’s relatives on weekends.
Therefore, having decided to divorce, men do not suffer from doubts about the correctness of the decision, do not blame themselves and do not torment themselves with thoughts about the future. But after being “free” for a year or two, almost every second person dreams of returning to the usual family life with its orderly meals and waiting after a hard day.
There are several reasons why a man may return:
- My mistress kicked me out of the house.
- Health problems have arisen and care is required.
- Problems at work and need moral support.
- Father's feelings for children began to play.
If after a year a “divorced” woman begins to come to her senses, then the man feels completely different. He doesn't see the appeal in casual sex, and he's no longer attracted to a variety of women. He gets drunk more and more often and stops taking care of himself, feeling lonely. And the reason lies in disappointment: the same gray everyday life that was in the family began with his mistress, the solution of which requires great strength from him.
The conflict situation is growing, which is common in the first years of marriage and is the cause of half of the divorces. In the former family, such conflicts have long been resolved, but with a mistress you have to remember the stages passed, everything is just beginning. Many men prefer not to waste time and energy and leave. Some go to a new mistress, some decide to return to their ex-wife, realizing that the new thing is not as wonderful as it seemed.
How to get married - after a divorce or breakup. 2 exercises
Svetlana sat on the couch and cried. It's been 4 months since she kicked her ex-husband out the door. The relationship didn't work out. He didn't want to be the way she wanted him to be. And she, in his opinion, also never became in his eyes the woman for whom he could conquer the mountains.
It seems to me that now all women are being driven into some kind of trap. You must be in a relationship. Are you 23 and have no one? Hm strange. And women, persecuted by other people's advice, are forced to adapt to a man so that, God forbid, they do not remain alone, forgetting that not every man is worth building a relationship with a self-respecting woman!
Ex-man: should I return to him?
Honestly, I don't know a single woman who wouldn't want to stay in a relationship. I think you also know many stories when a woman fought for her family, for love, and then despaired and decided to leave. But after women leave, they often torment themselves with thoughts that they could not save and change, but the other one has already been able or will still be able to make a person out of him.
Let's look at men soberly. Indeed, there are men with whom it is difficult to live. Simply because they don't suit you. Your value system is different. Your ideas about life and relationships do not match.
There are men who are alcoholics. There are men who believe that a woman is not a person. There are men who are pathological revelers. And there are women who accept and love them!
And I won't say that he is bad! He just has these features! All women know this, but they accept him this way. His wife kicked him out a couple of times, but she was dissuaded from her suspicions. She values her family and two children. She prefers not to go anywhere else.
Would such a role suit you?
But it suits someone. Someone lives.
If you have had a relationship that you worry about the same way as Svetlana, look at it soberly. Take a sober look at the man. Maybe its features don't really suit you?
After me, he met a girl who was the same as him. They have a wonderful family. And in the meantime, I learned that when they drink together, their level of emotions goes through the roof. Maybe I just didn't have the right methods? And this is just not my person.
If you broke up with a man who quickly created a new family and, as it seems to you, he is happy there, you should not worry about it. You will never know how a woman feels in this relationship and what is going on behind closed doors. But you clearly know what was going on with you and why you decided to end this relationship.
If your ex-husband comes back, should you forgive or not?
If, after several months of renewing the relationship, a woman understands that she is better off alone, then she should not let her ex into her life. Otherwise, you will have to say goodbye to your new life. But if things get better with him, then she needs to wait for the right moment (when the ex-husband “ripes”), and then she will be ready to meet him. But first you need to understand the reason for his “brave” act and draw the right conclusions: is there a reason to forgive, and is it worth getting together after a divorce.
We can talk about restoring the family only when both spouses understand that they need to make compromises and realize the mistakes they have made. Returning your husband is a good decision, but it also has its negative consequences. Trust is undermined, especially if the husband initiated the departure, and one of the possible reasons is another woman.
Divorce has no less dramatic impact on the mental health of children than their parents, one might even say that it is much stronger. The child's psyche is already traumatized, even if it is barely noticeable or does not appear at all, but it is there. Children should take an example from someone, therefore, such actions in the future in relation to their family are not excluded.
It has been noticed that every fourth divorced man got back together with his former wife, and every third man thinks about it. And you need to keep in mind that only those husbands who are ready to accept return. Whether to accept it or not is a woman’s personal decision. But we must remember that the trust and respect that existed before the divorce will no longer exist. But if you get together, forget the past and look to the future with optimism.
Get married urgently. For what?
Now let's do an exercise. I want you to step into a man’s shoes and understand and feel his desire or unwillingness to be with you.
Usually, when women do such an exercise, they fill out all the points, or even add more.
But I gave the same exercise to men, and why do you think they get married? There is only one answer. Because I love!
Where does love rank on your list?
Agree, it’s quite a heavy burden for a man. He just wants to love, and you just want so much. I do not urge you to remove all requirements and look for an uninitiated weakling. I just want you to understand: the more demands you make on a man, the more you close yourself off from these same men. You turn into a test woman, unable to simply enjoy communicating with the stronger sex.
Getting married faster than your ex-husband: why is it important?
Let's go back to our heroines who just want to get married. What motivates them?
The desire to prove something to someone.
The desire to prove something to yourself.
What do they really feel? And do they hear what they feel?
If, when choosing a man and being in a relationship with him, you start only from your feelings, you will see how the world around you changes. Or more precisely, your perception of the world.
I asked the first heroine to do only one thing. Describe your desired state next to a man. And then describe how she feels next to her ex-husband. And her feelings were completely different.
- Do you value yourself? - I asked.
She lowered her eyes and agreed after a couple of minutes. Her obsession lost its hyperimportance to her.
In the second case, we also worked with feelings.
- Why would you marry before your ex-husband?
“I want to prove to him that everyone needs me!”
- Everyone needs it. continue.
- Everyone needs it, but he doesn’t.
- How do you feel when you realize that he doesn’t need you?
- It's painful and scary. I'm afraid that no one will ever need me again. Yes, and I want to take revenge on him. To understand that I quickly found a replacement for him.
“I’m also scared when you talk about how you want to ruin your life and the life of another person with revenge.”
- How do you feel now? - I asked.
- I'm scared. I'm scared that I might ruin my life.
- So maybe we shouldn’t ruin lives and rush in order to compete with our ex-husband?
- How do you feel now?
- Tired. I'm calm and tired. I don't want to rush anymore.
When you hear your feelings, when you allow yourself to feel, you preserve the most important thing - yourself. And when we are afraid to feel, we begin to demand and think too much.
Ex-husband
How to communicate with your ex-husband if you still have feelings and have a child together? Oh, what a difficult question this is. You can say this: fate has sent you a difficult test. Not only do you need to experience the pain of betrayal, the feeling of being useless, go through the feeling of abandonment, but you also have to stifle your pride (torment: “They chose someone else instead of me,” “She is better”), and this is almost unbearable for the fragile “I” . It is necessary to recognize the fact that you are no longer loved and all the delights of love go to someone else.
You will not be able to completely change your attitude towards your ex-husband until you go through all the stages of a painful separation.
Grieve over a breakup
All these bitter feelings can be experienced, cried, grieved, but... alone.
And the best thing now is not to know or hear anything about him, about his ex. And here you have to communicate, because you have a child together and you, like a normal mother, do not want to act to the detriment of the baby and deprive him of his father. Advertising I can write a lot of advice on how to behave with your ex, how not to lose your dignity in his and, most importantly, in your own eyes. But will this help you when your heart hurts, resentment eats from the inside, and your own unsettled life adds fuel to the fire of pain? You will not be able to completely change your attitude towards your ex-husband and, accordingly, your behavior, until you go through all the stages of a painful separation. I foresee your reaction: “How long can you go through a breakup? I’ve already experienced my pain.” So, if you had experienced it, then the question of how to behave would not arise. It wouldn't throw you from one extreme to the other.
What happened to you and your family is a real tragedy, and there is no need to minimize or devalue the power of your experiences. But you didn’t really let your husband go to another woman, you didn’t accept his betrayal, you tried, but in reality you didn’t forgive him.
The path to true forgiveness is not easy. And with the help of beliefs and reasonable explanations alone it is impossible to reach it. Only after living through all the pain and finding internal correspondences to the situation in yourself, accepting everything and forgiving everyone, can you forgive your husband.
By not breaking up with him, you are preventing other men from entering your life. Every time you fight your feelings, you waste your energy, and then you have no strength left for anything else. You need to see and realize the harm you are doing to yourself and your life, admit your helplessness and powerlessness in trying to change anything and gain control over yourself. Only after this can you begin your journey.
What is happening now? You do not give up the idea that you can influence yourself and the situation. You are asking for an algorithm of actions that will help you build tactics for your behavior. But I’m sure you know perfectly well how you need to behave, hence all your attempts to accept and forgive, to pretend that nothing happened... fatigue and anger - because there is pain inside you. You are fighting with yourself. And this is the road to nowhere.
Rules of conduct with your ex-husband
It is difficult for me to briefly say what needs to be done.
There are exercises and meditations that trigger grief. But you will have to experience painful feelings yourself. My 6-month program is designed to provide support in such a situation. Working in a group helps you fully experience your pain, and the feeling of similarity with the destinies of other women will strengthen you. It will make you realize that you are not alone in this situation.
The 6-month “Road Home” program will begin at the end of September.
Sign up for the group, and together with you we will begin a difficult path of experiences, along which you will discover a lot of interesting, useful, although at times, perhaps unpleasant.
So, how to behave correctly with your ex-husband?
1.
Try to talk to him only about the child. Don't ask him about business, life, and don't tell him about yourself. Even if he is interested. Try to delicately avoid answering. By getting involved in communication, you give it your energy, and thereby tie yourself to it, and you don’t need this at all. Save your strength for yourself. Don't feed your ex with your energy.
2.
Try to distance yourself emotionally when communicating with him. Step back. Don't get involved in conversations. Be polite, but no more. If it is possible to reduce your communication with him to a minimum, do so.
Although, apparently, it is still important for you to see him, you want to look into his eyes, to understand whether he is happy. And all these questions arise... Are you significant to him? Did he love you? Are you bored? Does he regret the past? Does he want to return?
3.
Do not ask the child about his father, about conversations between them, and do not try to find out information about his ex-husband.
4.
Do not prevent your ex-partner from seeing the child, but the transfer of the child must be carried out in the way you want.
Don't try to be a comfortable and good, understanding ex-wife. 5.
Don’t let him know that you love him and are waiting for him. Don't show or prove to him that you have no one. But don’t do the opposite by demonstrating the presence of another man in your life. Be impenetrable to him. Don't let him know anything about you.
6.
This is the most difficult and difficult moment. Try not to forbid him to invite the child to a new family. I know that it is very difficult and difficult to allow a child to spend time not only with his father, but also with his woman. This is not an easy test.
But if you can let your husband go, then this point will become feasible for you. The fact is that the new chosen one may turn out to be a jealous lady, she may begin to put forward her conditions to the man. She is unlikely to like the fact that she does not take part in her partner’s life. And then this may affect the frequency of meetings between the father and the child.
Therefore, if this has happened in your life, allow your child to become richer - to find a different family and gain experience of a different relationship model.
Perhaps you will soon create a new union, and the child, communicating with members of both families, will grow up in a healthier environment.
Although I understand that these are just the right words.
And having lost your husband, it is almost unbearable to share your child with him, especially if he is the only one. But still, probably not right away, but admit this thought. 7.
Try not to discuss your ex-husband in the presence of your child - he will not understand your pain, but will only get confused in the situation. After all, he loves both you and his father, and you are both dear to him. There is no need to create a triangle “persecutor - victim - rescuer”, where you play the role of the victim. And don't make your child your savior. Subsequently, all this will backfire on him.
If you have a daughter, then you will form in her an image of a man that is not entirely correct, and it will be difficult for her to trust a man and love her chosen one. If you have a son, his identification with men may suffer, which then affects his ability to earn money and be successful.
And you yourself... The more often you think and talk about your husband, the more involved you become in this relationship. And for you they are already in the past, which you need to let go of! Don't create an emotional funnel that will later be very difficult for you to get out of.
One year of waiting
If you still love your husband, then most likely you want him back, and the hope of a reunion does not let go.
What to do in this situation? Should I try to get my ex-partner back or not? Should I take any action for this? There are no recipes that are equally suitable for everyone. But here you are in danger of immersing yourself in your expectations and hoping in vain for the return of your husband and thus losing several years, or even many years of your life. Of course, if you have decided for yourself that you no longer want to have anything to do with men and the memories of your ex are more than enough for you, then this approach is quite acceptable. But if you still don’t want to spend your whole life in unjustified expectations and hopes, then set a period for yourself, for example, one year. Tell yourself, if after a year your husband does not return, then you will cut him out of your life and learn to live without him.
One year is enough to choose your path. And if the ex-husband lived for a year with another woman, then I think the chances of his return in general have greatly decreased. Although life has its own rules, and nothing can be stated unambiguously here.
You can really wait one year, but then start building your life without your ex. And I would strongly recommend that you not just wait for his return, but take care of yourself, your inner world, your soul. In any case, you have to go through a breakup, even if there is hope for your partner’s return.
If you cannot internally part with him, let him go, then all your attempts to win him back are most likely doomed to failure. You can only return someone if in your soul you have let go of this person and have experienced all the pain of betrayal and separation. If this does not happen, it means that you have not changed internally, and therefore, your relationship, even if your husband returns, will remain the same.
After breaking up with a man, reduce the significance of your desire to return him, trust the space of your destiny. It will be what is best for you.
Hope for the worst, and the best will come.
I have listed general rules, but each woman finds her own patterns of behavior. But the most important thing is to always remember the interests of the child, try not to inflate pride, (not pride) and, of course, do not forget about yourself. Maybe your husband left you out of concern for your soul so that you turn inward and start treating yourself differently. Or maybe he made room for something or someone. Emptiness has one remarkable property of being filled. And maybe after a while you will be grateful to your ex-husband for doing this to you.
Psychology of a man after divorce: new relationships
Nowadays, divorced men are not a rarity, but a common occurrence. Marriages often break up within 5 years of marriage. What a man becomes after a divorce: psychology, new relationships - all this takes on a new emotional perspective.
For some, marriage is a kind of shackles that a person is even glad to get rid of, while others, on the contrary, strive to secure feelings with a stamp in their passport.
First of all, divorce from a male point of view, in most cases - freedom, which promises new victories, achievements, opportunities for self-realization, career and financial prospects. At the same time, male representatives rarely initiate divorce, but are happy to support such a proposal from their spouse.
The decision to get a divorce
Despite the fact that the desire to legitimize relationships most often arises among women, they also have primacy in the decision to divorce. It is common for a man to carefully think through the situation, and only then “burn all bridges.” Therefore, they often know where and with whom they will live next. If the reason for the divorce was male infidelity, then they often go to their new passion. A woman can experience a real shock, even if she herself is the initiator of the divorce. The most difficult time for her is surviving the first month. Then it gradually becomes easier. But the specifics of male psychology are somewhat different.
Do men suffer after divorce?
Compared to women, there is a significant difference in how men cope with divorce. They are less adapted to loneliness. However, men do not tend to show their feelings, so it is much more difficult for them to cope with divorce psychologically. After a marriage ends, men experience many disappointments. At first, freedom becomes the reason for high spirits.
- First, the dejected mood disappears.
- Enthusiasm and new strength emerge.
- There are no regrets about separating from my wife.
- Feels that he did everything right and this is the best way out of the current situation.
- Doesn't feel guilty. Especially when the wife often caused scandals, the man believes that the ex-wife got what she deserved. If she was still prudent, then he can try to make amends financially. The man is sure that with this he will atone for his guilt.
- He does not remember married life; such thoughts irritate him.
- There is no fear of the life ahead. The man is confident that he will not make any more mistakes.
Divorce through the eyes of a man is liberation from boring guardianship. From a psychological point of view, this is a previously experienced situation. Boys begin to separate themselves from their mother at the age of 5–7 years. Gradually they try to free themselves from maternal care, and, having matured, from marriage ties if family relationships are unsuccessful.
There is a significant difference when young people dissolve marriage bonds and the psychology of men after a divorce at 40 years old. In the first case, everything is less painful. Young people quickly find new life partners. After 40 years, many men try to return to their ex-wife after a divorce. The reason lies in reality, which turns out to be not as rosy as expected, and the strength is no longer the same as in youth.
In the first 12 months after the divorce, a man is sure that now a beautiful, caring, devoted and loving woman will definitely pay attention to him. He is waiting for amazing sex, strong emotions and new sensations. Partially these dreams come true.
Then there comes a period when new relationships usually do not live up to their expectations, cease to bring joy and lead to another disappointment.
- Negatives. The man does not believe that he is free, it turns out that he is at a crossroads and subconsciously is not yet ready for a new life.
- Anger. A man cannot quickly restore a full life, especially if there is no permanent woman nearby, and the expected passionate sex is missing.
- Bargain. This stage is short-lived. The man begins to wonder whether he should return to his ex-wife. He has experienced all the delights of a lonely existence, and wants to resume his previous relationship. However, such thoughts come in flashes and quickly evaporate.
- Depression. This is the most dangerous period. The man begins to experience depression, a dark streak in his life. This condition is aggravated if new romantic relationships do not begin in the first three years.
- Acceptance. This is the recovery stage. She helps to throw away the past and finally start a new life. The man stops worrying about the breakup of the marriage, and the negative attitude towards this fact and his ex-wife disappears.
- During this entire time (until it reaches the stage of acceptance), divorced people sometimes behave strangely and do things that they do not expect from themselves.
Features of female psychology
If the wife herself kicked the husband out the door, then on a subconscious level she expects that he will certainly come to the door with bouquets of flowers and a bunch of gifts. And at the same time, uncertainty remains about the return of the spouse. But it depends on how happy he was with her. And will he be able to find the same happiness with someone else? Perhaps the woman will be overcome by depression, and it is impossible to predict how long she will remain in this state. But time heals, and the wound heals.
Psychologists have noticed that in the first time after a divorce, the ex-wife begins to take care of herself much more often than during the years of marriage: she spends more time with friends, goes to visit relatives, and goes on vacation. Most “divorced” women start a new family again. But you shouldn’t do this immediately after a divorce, trying to fill the void. You need to come to your senses, comprehend everything and only then, after a year or two, think about the next marriage. And a fairly common pattern arises: the second husband may turn out to be the first.
Until the woman comes to her senses, finally calms down, decides for herself what is better: to get along with her husband or live without him, she should not make a hasty decision, try to dot all the i’s. The ex-spouse’s decision to leave the family should not be considered final, because pretty soon he begins to realize that he acted rashly.
But it’s worth thinking about whether she needs this again: worries about late arrival, his drunken get-togethers with friends, calls when he leaves the room to answer, and much more.
But if the reason for the divorce was some insignificant reason, a trifle, then it is possible that the reunification of the spouses will not be long in coming.
How a man behaves after a divorce
Regardless of the initiator of the divorce, some men like to take revenge, just like women - calling them on false dates, sharing explicit photos, etc. any reaction from the ex-wife will only inflame them. Many men, having spent their time in restaurants, tired of casual relationships and left alone, suddenly realize how good it was at home. Plans begin to be developed on how to return to the family.
Most men go through depression after divorce. Divorce leaves a minimally unpleasant feeling. Some men even cry, for months at a time, but cannot find solace in the arms of others.
How quickly do men get married after divorce?
The psychology of men after a divorce from their wife gradually comes down to the idea that all women are the same. After a divorce, a bachelor rarely marries quickly, fearing a repeat of the previous unsuccessful attempt. During this period, he needs affection, tenderness, attention, sympathy. He starts going to clubs, meeting friends, and starting non-binding relationships. As soon as a man feels that a woman is beginning to control him, this leads to rejection and even rupture of the new relationship.
It often gets worse. After a series of disappointments, sexual dissatisfaction, a feeling of loneliness appears. After all the ordeals, 2 years after the divorce, the psychology of men changes. If your personal life is not settled during this time, then memories of your ex-wife and the good aspects of marriage begin to return. In this case, the man can try to return to the family.
What we have, we don’t take care of
It turns out that people value family happiness only when they lose it. When it is nearby, it becomes commonplace and is not noticed. They notice that they are lost when he is not around. It is human nature to make mistakes, both men and women equally.
From the “family nest,” the life of a bachelor seemed better, simpler, more successful: sexual relationships were vibrant, women were beautiful, sensitive, complete freedom of choice and action. But now he wants the former stability, the confidence that he is welcome at home. And the divorce only helped him realize how happy he was in his marriage.
Life is a cruel thing, it presents its surprises and presents facts. Random women, sexual relationships take more energy, exhausting mentally and physically. And there is no one to care, help, restrain harmful inclinations. No one cares what is in his soul, what he wants, what he strives for and what hurts him.
A man gets tired of his free life and begins to establish relationships with his ex-wife. He calls to find out about her affairs and the health of the children. He starts visiting, remembering his past family life and reproaching himself: “what an idiot he was.” More than half of “divorced” husbands consider their ex-half to be the best of women.
Important functions of family relationships are mutual respect, trust and care. But a lover, even the best, is not able to give this. Trying to try to build a new family life is a rather difficult step. Moreover, he has an ex-wife whose habits, favorite flowers, advantages and disadvantages. If he, like his ex-wife, worries and does not find joy in life without his ex-wife, then they have a chance to become a family again, and they get together.
