Has it ever happened to you that your friend does nothing but talk about the romance of her boyfriend, but there is no joy in your relationship? Most women have encountered toxic partners at least once in their lives. In this case, you cannot understand why men use you. After all, around, both in real life and on social networks, every second girl seems happy in marriage or relationship.
Every person always wants to find a justification for the current situation, which will be due to external reasons. It is much easier and more pleasant to blame all the blame for your own misfortune on your selfish partner or the wrong advice of a friend. In fact, in most cases, men take advantage of certain types of women.
Today we will tell you what traits in ladies attract tormentors. Using this information wisely and analyzing your behavior, you can protect yourself from attacks on personal boundaries by tyrants and bigots.
Qualities
A real man must have the basic qualities that make him such. Among the opinion polls of women and the findings of psychologists, a basic list of character traits that are inherent in men with a capital “M” has emerged.
Of course, for each representative of the fair sex they may differ due to preferences, worldview and upbringing, but there are still those traits that everyone notices and appreciates.
Courage
This is also an indicator of a real man, because he must be brave not only for himself, but also for his woman. With the current upbringing, many guys do not have this quality at all and, in case of danger, seek protection from their wife or mother, but this is wrong. A real man must be brave.
And it doesn’t matter how it manifests itself: in the ability to protect your beloved from bullies or in speaking in front of colleagues at work. A self-confident person can confidently overcome any difficulties.
Life on maintenance4
At the same time, many men wonder why there are still so many female representatives who do not want to be responsible for finances? They want to be dependent on their husband/partner/lover. They believe that it is best when the man earns money and she raises the child.
They can even work and earn small amounts, but without much desire and for their own pleasure. After all, the husband sponsors everything and provides a comfortable life. Why, in this case, should she try, if money is already dripping from the sky like “manna”?
Women who live this way can expect the condition to continue. Get pregnant. Only in the end can such a man lose respect for her. She will not be an interesting life partner for him.
As a rule, if a man provides for a girl, and she does not have any ambitions to develop and is completely dependent on him, this, in the end, begins to interfere with him. Love doesn't matter here because she can love very much and it won't change the situation.
Responsibility
Taking responsibility is not an easy task. In fact, there is a mechanism in human psychology to shift it onto others. For example, I’m not looking for a job because we don’t have normal work in our country. But if you look at the situation realistically, then this is simply an excuse for your reluctance to take responsibility. The essence of a man is that he is responsible for providing for the family, fatherhood and difficulties that a woman cannot cope with. After all, he is responsible not only for himself, but also for his family and children. A real man will never shift responsibility.
Windy person2
If a female boss is completely immersed in the development of her business, flighty girls do nothing but look for a successful gentleman. The purpose of their life is marriage and family. They do not seek to develop their own interests.
Heartbreakers spend most of their time undergoing beauty treatments, visiting gyms, where they also look for a promising partner. Their problem is that they too quickly and actively begin to show sympathy for a man.
Guys feel that they don’t have to make any effort to get their relationship with a flighty female on the right track. Just taking a walk is enough; heartbreakers don’t even need gifts and flowers. These girls are completely immersed in the relationship. For them, parting is another fleeting step towards the man of their dreams.
Some nymphets feel like they are using men, fingering them like beads. Most often it happens differently. Guys simply do not accept this category of women for serious relationships. Therefore, men simply use the opportunity for quick sexual intercourse, easy communication and flirting to increase their own self-esteem.
Honesty and integrity
This is another trait of a man with a capital M. Only by being honest with himself and with his woman can a man be considered real. He must have the strength to tell the truth and not hide anything, even if this truth puts him on the bad side.
Any person, being a man with a capital M, will not cheat on his woman or commit immoral acts. He respects elders, loves animals and values his loved ones. He will always help if he sees that a person needs his help.
Modern trends5
Not only more and more women, but also more and more men are choosing to split the bills. This runs the risk that two people with different views may meet each other and have completely opposite expectations. This difficult situation requires a great sense of tact. A man must be able to overcome his ego and, if something happens, refuse the “obligation” to pay for a companion. Everyone, after all, has many other qualities with which to impress the opposite sex.
The situation becomes more difficult when she expects him to pay for her, but he simply is not capable of this. However, he does not want to give up the relationship. Partners may have completely different ambitions regarding making money, and such differences in fundamental values lead to the breakup of the couple.
If a man wants to provide for a girl, he should not pretend that he is capable of more and has a lot of money, if this is not the case, because the truth will come out anyway. And a woman must take into account what expenses she expects from her partner and whether he meets her expectations. It is better to find out this right away, looking at your partner with a sober look, so as not to encounter a discrepancy in expectations in the future.
Hard work and kindness
This is the character trait that distinguishes a real man from a lazy one. A hardworking man not only achieves success at work, but also supports the household. If a representative of the stronger sex does not possess this quality, he turns into a child or even worse and demands attention and care, without doing anything, or doing it in such a way that it would be better not to take it. Therefore, the essence of a man is to be hardworking, develop and move forward, supporting his woman. In turn, it is kindness that will allow him to communicate well with his family.
It's a matter of instincts i
The female and male sexes differ at a deep instinctive level. It would be pointless to deny this. They express love in different ways. While males are taught from a young age to suppress emotions, girls express them freely. And they love each other in different ways.
While a woman in love pays attention to words, to the expression of feelings, to congratulating each other on holidays, the male sex is somewhat more callous in this regard. He is used to showing less emotion, and his feelings are more often expressed through actions. Because of this, doubts about male love arise in a woman’s head. And on this basis conflicts often arise. But it's all about natural differences.
When a man loves, he begins to perceive his partner as his territory, no matter how rude it may sound, this is an instinct that has developed over thousands of years. He feels responsible for her and strives to protect her. At a deep level, he wants to provide protection for her and his family; if his love is real, he considers them “his own.” A loving man strives to provide for his partner, to decorate her so that she is healthy and beautiful.
And if he doesn’t do this, if he doesn’t have such desires, he doesn’t feel responsible for her, this is a bad sign. He does not perceive her as his own. He doesn't care what happens to her. Of course, many people live only in the illusion of love. Outwardly, such a couple may even look ordinary.
Mind
Only with intelligence can you achieve something in this life, provide financial support for your family, solve everyday issues, and simply cope with problems. There is a phrase “a man is the head, and a wife is the neck,” so a wife must guide her man, but he must make important decisions in the family.
And doing this without the participation of the mind will not go far and nothing good will come of it. It is very important that a man has his own opinion, can independently decide what to do in a given situation, and not blindly follow advice.
Man with a capital letter
Of course, a real man must have all the qualities listed above, but this is not at all the main thing. It is important that he understands his essence and purpose and appreciates his beloved. The role of a man is to protect, protect and support. Naturally, the influence of the West and the modern rhythm of life, where women are almost at the level of men in terms of employment, career growth, etc., have led to the fact that it is very difficult to meet a real man. Of course, men will say that there is no ideal and it is simply impossible to be like a model in everything, but, in essence, it is willpower, desire and the ability to combine all these qualities, and most importantly, to love your woman, respect her and support her, distinguish a man with a capital M from an ordinary person.
In addition, in our modern world there are very few real men due to upbringing, fathers do not set a worthy example, and mothers are overly protective of their sons, not letting the chick leave the nest until the last, thereby depriving him of the opportunity to learn to fly. And by the age of 30, these birds fly out in search of a woman who will replace his protective mother, who always decided for him how to live, how to think and other everyday problems.
From a long time ago3
This stereotype has its own strong roots; it existed in society thousands of years ago and persisted until the so-called sexual revolution. Once upon a time, women from high society were cut off from sources of income, and only their husbands and fathers were involved in making money. This applies only to the higher spheres, because in the peasant, worker or bourgeois classes, women tended to work in hard work.
Contrary to first impressions, this custom was not so ideal for the elite, since many men simply did not have the money to start a family. Hence the high prevalence of illegitimate children. Women always had to turn to their male guardians in money matters. All over the world, one of the most important qualities of a husband candidate was his wealthy wallet. Providing for a woman was not only a beautiful gesture designed to create a good impression.
They began to become more financially independent only after the creation of the USSR, when they had the opportunity to work and earn money for all segments of society. Soon it ceased to be surprising that even a married woman works and earns money. Nowadays, it is less and less surprising to anyone that a woman sometimes earns more than her partner. Men's financial dominance over women is becoming less and less common in relationships. Instincts, which have developed over thousands of years, cannot keep up with such leaps in the development of human society.
Ideal
In our time, it is very difficult to determine what the ideal should be. Willfulness, diversity of characters and interests are very different from past preferences. And if at the very beginning the main qualities were the ability to kill a mammoth and drag it to the cave, now the representatives of the stronger sex have much more functions. Again, just recently, women valued strength and confidence in men.
Now commercialism and cynicism prevail in modern society. And most women are more comfortable living with weak-willed, insecure boys who are easy to command and manipulate. In recent years, the concept of the ideal man has been transformed, supplemented and modified. But everyone has their own tastes and preferences. And first of all, a man must be a person capable of making independent decisions; he has the right to make mistakes, but there is no right to fear responsibility.
At all times, men have been a support for women, and it doesn’t matter what weight a man should be or what price he wears in a suit, the main thing is that a woman can rely on him. So that next to him she feels the most beautiful, desired, protected and confident.
Why does every woman “should”?
Reading articles by famous Vedic authors, and this blog in particular, many women are indignant: “Why is it said everywhere about WHAT every woman should do to improve relationships?! Why are there no recommendations for men? From all sides one hears only that a woman should do this, a woman should do that. I don’t owe anyone anything at all!” I want to dwell on this issue and talk frankly with those women who believe that it is not they who should change first, but the man.
I agree that both partners need to work on the relationship, but you are mistaken if you think that the efforts made by the man and woman should be equal. The nature of men is external, the nature of women is internal. In other words, a man is 70% happy with how he realizes himself at work, and 30% happy with his family. For women, it’s the other way around: they get 70% of their happiness in the family, and only 30% outside it. We are created for love, and if something does not go well in family life, in a relationship with a man, we are the first to suffer. Imagine a family in which quarrels and conflicts are frequent guests on the doorstep. Both husband and wife work. So, after sorting out the relationship, the man goes to work and switches to society. Yes, his day starts with a bad mood, but he doesn’t think about the conflict during the day, he works. After such a quarrel, a woman goes to work and cannot concentrate all day, replays in her head all the rude things said to each other in a verbal altercation, again and again she feels resentment, injustice and hopelessness. She cannot switch to work mode at the click of a finger, as a man does, and therefore suffers all the time. Now answer me the question, who should start changing something in a relationship?
When it is said that every woman SHOULD do something in order to improve her relationship with her husband, by default it means if she wants to become happy . If you don’t want to be happy, and some principles and beliefs, stubbornness, pride or something else are more important to you, that’s your right. In this case, you don't owe anyone anything. But if you are not happy with your relationship with your husband and would like things to get better, then you MUST. Otherwise, it will remain a desire.
Among other things, it is easier for a woman to change relationships for the better, since mentally she is six times stronger than a man. She is more sensitive, emotional, receptive, intuitive. It is not for nothing that a woman has always been responsible for the comfort and atmosphere in the house. And this concerns, first of all, not purity, but relationships. The ability to create warm energy in the home, to maintain good relationships not only with the spouse, but also with all his relatives is the responsibility of every woman.
Therefore, when reading the phrase “Every woman should...”, mentally say: “If she wants to be happy,” then everything will fall into place and the word duty will no longer cause you indignation. If you still feel indignant and remain in your position: “I don’t owe anyone anything,” it means that you have wounded pride, exorbitant pride and the presence of psychological trauma that you are not aware of. If you still want to become happy, you should think about it and turn to a psychologist for help. For your own good.
With love, Yulia Kravchenko
If you have any questions while reading the article, you can ask me here. I will be happy to answer you!
