Relationships between friends carry different meanings: they can be colleagues, neighbors, classmates, just friends or close friends from childhood.
Women tend to be open and verbose. Relationships with a close friend are built on frankness and trust: they are ready to discuss anything for hours, literally revealing their souls.
With the help of friends, women often try to understand their own essence, the characters of their children, life partners, employees and even neighbors in the building.
Of course, there are exceptions. There are emotionally reserved women who do not like to discuss their personal lives, health or finances.
Does female friendship exist? Psychology of relationships between women and girls.
It has been proven that friendship between women and girls is most often limited to regular communication on various topics that concern them. Sometimes friendship becomes just a cover for using each other for their own purposes; it happens that one of the friends acts as an adviser who constantly tells and teaches the other how to act in a given situation. It would seem, why does she need this? Most often, in this way she seeks to compensate for the lack of events in her own personal life.
Some women can sometimes mistake someone for a friend who is not one. It is worth taking into account several main signs by which you can distinguish a person who is truly faithful to you.
A true friend always tries to keep promises, will never lie, will take your interests into account, will always find topics for conversation, will not gossip behind your back, will forgive you little weaknesses, will never abandon you in difficult times, will not leave you in danger.
It happens that female friendships fall apart as soon as one of the friends has a partner. Psychologists explain this trend by saying that sometimes girls begin to see their friend as a potential rival and end their relationship with her, out of harm’s way. However, most often the friendship fades away because, with the appearance of a lover, the girl has other interests and hobbies and she simply does not have time for her friends. This is how women’s companies usually break up, because it is inherent in nature that every woman subconsciously strives to create a family, and she will easily refuse anything that interferes with her on this path. And that’s right, you shouldn’t hold on to relationships that have outlived their usefulness. This will not lead to anything good.
Another female union in which difficulties often arise is the mother-daughter union. Unfortunately, the relationship between mother and daughter cannot always be called good. It seemed that the closest and dearest people, like no one else, should feel and understand each other, but no, sometimes it seems that women speak different languages. Experts identify several types of mother-daughter relationships.
Nekamasutra: 6 carrots for relationships between mature women and men
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Are you over 40 and single? Have you already begun to doubt that a mature woman can be attractive to a worthy man? Do you want to build a long-term relationship, but your hopes fade every year? I understand you perfectly! If you read publications and comments on social networks and on various information platforms, it may seem that there are no normal men left at all. This phenomenon is called "infodemic" .
The word “infodemic” began to be actively used in connection with the escalation of fear and anxiety about the pandemic in the media. Due to the infodemic, people feel increased anxiety, which reduces immunity and increases the risk of contracting the virus. Fear weakens the body and increases the likelihood of getting something that is scary. Let's paraphrase the catchphrase - what we fought against, we ran into.
There is also an infodemic in the topic of female-male relations. Some unhappy women write “there are no normal men left”, other unhappy women read this, begin to worry, believe that they are doomed to loneliness - and remain lonely. Moreover, they remain lonely not at all because they have not met a man, but because their anxious state scared away all the men who approached them. The nervous tension of women is not always realized, but is felt at the subconscious level. You want to quickly run away from an anxious woman before she “infects” you with her anxiety.
An information space filled with hopelessness and pessimism is being created around mature women. This state is perfectly described by the once popular meme “I cried.” Unhealthy, emotionally immature men write “everyone wants young women”, “after 40 a woman is an old woman”, “a woman should look young in order to please a man.” Oh my God! How can you resist after this and not start saving money for a fashionable shroud with rhinestones?!
My dear friends! Don't pay attention to these men's hysterics.
Firstly, from a psychological point of view, there is no such thing as “all men” or “all women”. Psychology views each person as a unique individual. All men and all women are different! If someone wrote “men love young people,” he simply forgot to add “this is my personal opinion.” I hope you, mature women, don’t need men who love young people. Then you just shouldn’t contact them and prove that they haven’t understood something in life. It's useless! Don't waste the fleeting time of your beautiful woman's life!
Secondly, from the point of view of scientific psychology, men and women are attracted based on common needs. Needs are the basic concept of humanistic psychology, which was founded by the famous “pyramid builder” Abraham Maslow.
I suggest you soberly assess the chances of mature women for a happy marriage. But not from the point of view of divorced mourners, but from the point of view of the mentioned humanistic psychology. I want to dispel the myth that there are no worthy men. I offer you 3 steps of mature women on the path to a worthy man.
Let's start with the fact that any need is based on avoidance or desire. Psychologists use the funny words “carrot in the back” and “carrot in the front” to refer to these two models. The author of this formulation is the Russian scientist Natalya Aleksandrovna Ignatyuk.
Let’s look at what “carrots in the back” push women into relationships with men. Try to distract yourself from the erotic subtext of this metaphor.
The first carrot at the back is loneliness in general or lonely old age. If you don’t find a man, the carrot will dig into your old ass - that’s where life will end. This is a joke, of course. But every joke contains only a fraction of a joke. In fact, many women are so concerned about loneliness in old age that they cling to a man as a lifeline. And men do not always dream of saving women from being chased by carrots.
The second carrot at the back is need and poverty. Many women feel that they are so helpless and untalented that only a man can provide them with a piece of bread with butter and caviar. Let us not criticize this position now. Let's just admit that this need for avoidance exists. And if there is a need, it is important to satisfy it, otherwise Abraham Maslow will not forgive us!
The third carrot at the back is the lack of female self-realization. There are many women who are convinced that happiness is only possible next to a man. I won’t grate this carrot either. If someone believes that there is only one option for female happiness, let it be so for now. I know many women who are convinced that the main mission of a woman is to be close to a man. Figuratively speaking, only a man can save the orange vegetable from the rear from aggression. Well, phallus versus carrot - it's a battle of the titans!
What about the “carrots in front”? Oh, this is my favorite bed! I am convinced that only goals and aspirations provide real, mature, confident motivation for a relationship. The horse is not placed behind the cart! Pulling forward is more productive than pushing from behind. So let's look at three needs of a mature relationship.
The first carrot in front is mutual emotional support and support. Support is an important component of psychological health. It is important to have someone with whom you can share experiences, share thoughts, and express emotions. It is equally important to be close to someone who needs support just like you. No matter how strong a person is, this does not exclude the need for mutual support. Moreover, the inability to rely, as well as the inability to be a support for another person, is a sign of emotional problems.
The second carrot in front is joint development. I often hear psychologists using the expression “thinking about someone.” Surely you have noticed that in the process of communication, interesting thoughts appear, ideas come, and insights arise. Next to another person, in his presence, we get to know ourselves. This knowledge is based on the fact that the other is always different from us. Another personality is another world, somewhat similar to ours, but still completely different and mysterious. And in the process of getting to know each other, we recognize ourselves, show both our best and our worst qualities, improve, and change. Contact with another is a creative process. But if you are being pursued by a manic vegetable, you are unlikely to be able to relax and enjoy it. To feel the joy of life in the presence of another person, there should be no carrots behind you, nothing should threaten your butt!
The third carrot from the front is an exchange of values. I often hear this male opinion: “I don’t need a cook at home, I can cook myself, I can order food from a restaurant and have it delivered to your home. I need a woman for joy.” To be honest, this is not a trend yet. Therefore, I fully admit that for a man, delicious home-cooked food is a value, and a woman gives this value. And in exchange, she receives some other value - perhaps also related to farming. Caring for each other is a healthy need for psychologically mature people. But this concern is not necessarily related to everyday comfort. I will share my experience. I had a very beautiful relationship in which my beloved man, as an experienced businessman, gave me advice on how to build a career as an author of women's trainings, and I told him about what I heard at lectures on psychology, and this helped him in building relationships with subordinates and business partners. There can be a lot of options for sharing usefulness.
Now let's move on to three important steps towards building relationships.
Step one. Decide which carrots create the vector of your movement towards relationships. What do you want to avoid with your relationship? What do you want to strive for in a relationship?
Step two. Learn to be open and let the men you meet know your real needs. Of course, you shouldn’t do this on the first day of the meeting: “Hello, I’m Masha, and I have a carrot behind me!” First, it is better to find out as much as possible about a man, to understand what interests him in life, what is valuable and important to him. If you are afraid of loneliness, and he enjoys his freedom, he is unlikely to understand you. Simply put, it is important to find a man who can respond to your request. And for this it is important to talk openly about what you need.
Step three. Find out what your new friend's needs are. The saddest story is when a woman fell in love with a man, but their needs did not coincide. She admires his intelligence and appearance, respects him for his high income and successful career, wants to give birth to a late child from him and build a cozy nest for him, and he needs a companion at social events who understands theatrical art and follows the latest literature. And it’s especially sad when, not wanting to let go of an attractive candidate for husband, a woman tries to live up to expectations, adapts to a man’s interests, and then wins his heart, but remains unhappy. Or she wants care, but he needs regular sex. He never wanted a child or a cozy nest with his stay-at-home wife, but he doesn’t know how to give care and doesn’t want to learn. The unmet needs of both lead to disappointment and destruction of the relationship. And why was it necessary to waste so much time?
Well, my dear carrot lovers! May the holy Kama Sutra forgive me, but I will not write a word about intimacy. And I won’t tell you what else carrots can be used for. The older a woman and a man get, the higher their needs. Over time, bodily needs become less significant, and emotional and spiritual needs come to the fore. As they become more mature, psychologically healthy people climb Abraham Maslow’s pyramid, the pyramid of needs. And every person has a peak where he will find his happiness!
If the publication caused an emotional response in you, I would be glad to see your comment here:
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Posted by Liza Piterkina (@liza.piterkina)
Rivals
At first glance, such mother and daughter can be mistaken for friendly sisters, but upon closer examination, it becomes clear that they are rivals. The mother, next to her daughter, constantly feels her age, mourns her lost youth and attractiveness, which adds additional tension to the relationship. The main role in such relationships can be played by both mother and daughter.
The best way to deal with such a situation is to try to understand and forgive each other. The mother must take the initiative. She has the power to help her child understand that her mother is not her enemy. And this needs to be proven not in words, but in deeds. Gradually, the girl realizes everything, because with age, female wisdom will come to her.
How to ultimately maintain friendship with a woman?
If the reader wants to maintain friendship with another woman, then she is given the following advice:
- Don't impose your opinion.
- Always listen and understand what your friend says.
- Be considerate when you're busy and always keep your promise to make time for your girlfriend.
- Don't talk about your friend behind her back.
- Trust your friend and build trust in yourself.
- Don't expect much from your friend, let her have her own life, her own opinion and not always be available to you.
- Know how to forgive, because all people make mistakes, even you.
Female friendship does not exist, since women often sacrifice their friends for the sake of family and children. If you try, you can make time for your friends. It depends on the woman herself.
