A man rushes between two women. How can a man love two women at the same time?

A love triangle is not uncommon in modern society.
According to statistics, it is the man who is most often suspected of treason due to his polygamy. But what if a man really loves two people and is not able to make a choice? Why does this situation happen and what factors influence what happens? The psychology of relationships indicates that it is impossible to love two women at once, even if a man sincerely talks about it. Most often, the true feeling of love is confused with other factors:

Debt and habit. Several years lived together leave a certain imprint on feelings, and the spouse begins to confuse the concepts of responsibility with love. At the same time, the habit of being together is developed over the years, and love relationships pass. Additionally, a wife is a rear and reliable support in which a man is confident, but such feelings are not love.
Inability to make a choice. When a person rushes between two, it often means that the person does not love anyone. After all, everyone has an image of an ideal companion in their head, and each girl has some set of ideally suitable qualities and a man runs from one to another, thinking that he loves both, although in fact he loves neither of them.
Some people need creative love like air. Often men engaged in the field of art with a subtle spiritual perception of the world mistake falling in love for real feelings.
Selfish love involves a comfortable male relationship with two women. When a guy loves himself more than someone else, he doesn’t want to let either of them go and is deceived by his feelings for both.

What to do if a man loves two women?

It is impossible to predict who a real man will choose and what to do in such a situation.
As a rule, it all depends on the character of the young man. If a guy is prone to selfish actions, then having two women only pleases his vanity. This arrangement of forces and priorities is very convenient; on the one hand, reliable and strong relationships, and on the other, passion without any special obligations. The man sincerely believes that he loves both. Such a love triangle implies an assessment of the relationship from the outside. It is better for a woman to step back, leave for a certain period or take a break to give time to decide, both for the chosen one and for herself. An infantile man acts exactly the opposite of a selfish man. Often people with this type of character cannot decide and make a choice in favor of the only woman, looking for more and more new excuses. With an infantile man, you need to take the situation into your own hands if you want to be close to this person. A woman should show leadership skills and remain the head of the relationship.

Each situation is unique, but if a man claims that he loves two women at the same time, then he is slightly disingenuous. The young man is either comfortable with this situation, or he simply sincerely believes in it. But love, infatuation and passion are different things. Sometimes it is worth letting go of the situation and allowing the person to make a choice on their own, in other cases it is necessary to fight for love. Everything is individual and depends on the character and strength of the woman’s feelings.

The guy is choosing between me and another. How to choose between two girls

Since childhood, everyone knows perfectly well that love is a pure feeling, an impulse of the heart that can arise in any person. But everyone is silent about the fact that sometimes there is room in the heart for two girls at once.

Such duality can begin to tear a man in different directions, girls think so. On many women's sites, girls speak extremely negatively against such men. They suggest that they not “spoil” the brains of two girls and remain alone.

On the other hand, when a girl is dating two guys at the same time and cannot choose, women sympathize with her and call her “a lost angel who is confused in her relationship.” In other words, no matter what you do, no matter what decision you make, girls will always blame you. Either they chose the wrong one, or they took too long to choose. Therefore, we send their opinion far away and do not worry. The first thing you should do is breathe a sigh of relief that you are a normal man. Nature itself created a man so loving. If your heart attracts you to an attractive girl, it means that you are healthy, strong and courageous. That's how it should be. If there is a girl you love next to you, this does not mean that other girls will not be attracted to you. They will still be there.

But we are talking about love, about the feeling that makes a man give up his freedom of choice for the sake of the only girl. But what's the problem? What is love? I remember the statements of men. For some, these are warm hugs and tender kisses, for others, passionate nights and closeness of the body. Still others will prefer a girl who understands him and his thoughts. And the fourth, if only there was comfort and order in the house. Love is a feeling that has many facets. A man cannot love different girls for the same thing. But he can love different girls for their differences. This is masculine nature.

Thus, the question arises: “Which of the two girls should I choose?” Let's discard the option that you like someone more or less. Both girls are beautiful, and your heart responds to the call of both. You can't even imagine how much pain men went through trying to choose one in such a situation. Because you cannot choose in a situation where you cannot choose. If your feelings led you to such a situation, then it was necessary from the beginning. Understand that you don't have to make a choice today, you don't have to meet both every day. Spend your time in a way that makes you feel good. And life is smarter than you, sooner or later the situation will change and it will be good.

If you like some girl more, but you don’t want to lose touch with another. So don't rush the relationship. You don’t have to burn all your bridges; you can slowly move forward step by step, leaving the opportunity to come back. No girl would like this situation. But who said that at least one girl will find out about this, and even if she finds out, she will understand the train of your thoughts?

Ultimately, every man has the criterion that is most important to him. Be it the presence or absence of something. For example, one girl may be beautiful and pretty, but she smokes. But the man doesn't like it. Then, for him, even a girl who does not smoke and has a beauty of a weak B will be much more attractive.

Matters of the heart do not like haste. And when you like two girls at once, there should definitely be no rush. It doesn't matter what other people think. Your affairs are yours alone. And this situation can be fatal for you.

Let’s first define the concept of “love”, give the definition that I set as an example to all the men interviewed.

Based on this definition, men willingly answered my question: is it possible to love two women at once?

A man’s love is the desire to protect, provide and publicly declare his rights to a woman.

Read on to see what the men said.

“But what about the sighs, ahs, the desire to be closer, to touch... Is this not love? ( passion, sexual attraction - I answered,

approx. author). Well then I think not. It is possible to want two women sexually. But “to love” in the way you expressed it is unlikely. And I’m generally monogamous. I love my wife - I protect her, provide for her, and, naturally, she is mine. Everyone knows about this.

You cannot love two women at the same time. You either love one very much, or you love neither one nor the other. Perhaps the second woman is needed for other purposes. A mistress, for example, is needed by a man for sexual release, and a wife is needed for support and a reliable rear. It also happens the other way around, of course. But many people are interested in something else - how to keep a man, right? Give him the opportunity to make a choice. Don’t immediately throw him out with your suitcases, as you like, but simply advise him to live alone. This makes it easier for us to assess what is happening and make a decision.

Is it possible to love two women at the same time?

? - Can. I was in a similar situation myself. He provided for both, protected them, but in the matter of publicly declaring their rights... He was officially married to one, but not to the other. But I loved both of them, honestly. Only, it turns out, I loved one a little more.

I do not understand why? If one woman is not enough for a man, isn’t it easier to end the relationship and find another? I have these principles. I never loved two women at once. Either you are completely with one, or alone.

If a woman can love two people, then so can a man. I judge this from personal experience. My girlfriend was dating me and my boss. Neither of them knew about it. Given a choice, she said she loves both of us. Both broke up with her. This is the story.

Why does a man love two women?

? – one is not enough for him, something is missing. You can love two women, but it is a different kind of love. One fits your definition, the other does not. But this is also love, these are feelings, relationships...

If we rely on the definition of the author of the question, then it turns out that it is impossible to love two women. Who will pull (provide - author's note) both and at the same time will not hide his love and relationship with both one and the other? The classic scenario is a wife and a mistress: she loves one, she wants the other.

You can love two or three women, and then marry the most beloved. Seriously, this is a moot point. It all depends on the man, on the circumstances in which he finds himself, on the women he loves.

Of course it is possible! I love two women - my wife and daughter,” MEN.

These are the answers, my dears..

Thanks for your honesty to those who helped prepare the material for this article.

The man rushes between me and his ex-wife. He rushes between me and his ex-girlfriend

I am, as they say, a “strong, self-sufficient” woman, neither in intelligence nor in appearance, I seem to be deprived of an independent woman. I have been raising my son alone for 7 years now, he is now 10 years old. Thank God, I bought a house, and for a vacation with a child, and for small joys, I seem to have enough, I earn money, and sometimes I save. There were fans during this time, but in the format of an easy relationship. In any case, I never depended on them and made no plans for a life together. And then a year ago my relatives introduced me to a man, he had been divorced for 3 years. We immediately fell in love with each other and were already trying to live together, the three of us, with a child. But... then his ex appeared on the horizon, not even his wife, whom he divorced, but his girlfriend, whom he tried to date before me. Well, there were her constant calls, threats of suicide, and there were many other unpleasant scenes... In short, this epic of nervous relationships has been dragging on for almost a year. We don’t live together, we rarely meet, but he screams that he loves him, he can’t live, he wants a family only with me, he wants our common child... But nothing more, just words. She says: “Get pregnant, that will solve everything.” And I need confidence in him, which I don’t have now. I understand that he is rushing about, but I also can’t wait and endure it any longer, I have a natural psychosis, I’ve lost weight, I’m furious. I’m completely confused: on the one hand, I love him, on the other, my mother and son, seeing how worried I am, are already repeating in two voices, “He’s not a match for you.” Every time I try to break it off, there were enough reasons, but every time I forgive. What should I do?

Our experts' opinions

Alyona

I would be very wary of the phrase “Get pregnant, that will solve everything.” Firstly, this actually means that the man doesn’t want to decide anything on his own and expects the situation to resolve itself under the influence of some powerful external circumstances. Secondly, for some reason he himself has not been able to get his ex-lover away from him for a whole year! Why has he still not found the words to put an end to this relationship? So he leaves her hope. Thirdly, a man who loves a woman and wants to be with her does not impose such idiotic conditions on her. Times, of course, have changed a long time ago, but I haven’t heard that now, before submitting an application to the registry office, the groom demands from the bride a certificate from the antenatal clinic or an extract from the maternity hospital. So I would strongly doubt the firmness of this man’s choice. He rather feels confused. When he started a relationship with you, most likely he was in a situation of being abandoned by that woman. He found a replacement for her, she perked up. And now he is as “embarrassed” as one character from the film “Caution, Doors Are Closing,” and he allows events to develop without his participation, and where they lead. Watch the movie if you haven’t seen it, and think about whether you need such a “strongly loving man.”

Sergey

In my opinion, if you are truly smart, you should understand that a man either lives with a woman or “dates”. That is, if a man loves and wants some woman, he will live with her no matter what. If he “dates” a woman, it means he doesn’t want to live with her. And your friend can shout whatever he wants. Yes, it happens that a man cannot decide for a legal marriage for a long time. But this has nothing to do with the desire to live together. And since your boyfriend has no desire for either the first or the second, then draw your own conclusions from this. In addition, based on my own experience of communicating with loafers of different ages and positions, I can say that your pregnancy will not solve absolutely nothing. At best, dad will give you money and appear occasionally. Therefore, I personally think that in this case it is better to send a comrade. Don't try, just send. It's just not an option for you. And the longer you delay, the worse it gets. After my father’s death, my mother also once fell in love in a childish way. The uncle had been fooling her for a year. As a result, I freaked out and promised that if this goat appeared on the doorstep again, I would personally punch him in the eye. At that time, I was 16 years old, I had just successfully competed in one of the types of massacres, and therefore I could well turn the threat into reality. And my uncle disappeared. And just a month later, a man with whom my mother has continued to communicate for almost 20 years came to talk to us about business. Of these, 18 they live together. So don't waste your time.

Is it possible to love two people at the same time?

Is it possible to truly love two people or do we inevitably leave one love for the other? If we can truly love two people at once, are we depriving one or both of them?

Let's consider this issue in the context of an existing ongoing relationship. Love for another person, when you already belong to one, can definitely exist or appear in the future (regardless of whether there will be a physical continuation of this love).

Now we won't go into details about whether flirting counts, whether emails or other messages several times a day count, and so on. Let's just focus on love or falling in love with another person when you are already in a committed relationship.

Arguments against"

Some people deny that you can truly and completely love more than one person at a time. According to them, love reflects the complete devotion of one person - his heart, soul and body - to another. Therefore, you can never love another without taking something from the first.

However, this approach means that what you give to your loved one is limited. If you gave more to one, it means less to the other. This is true for some resources, such as time and money. But in the case of drives and feelings, the limitations are not so obvious. For example, parents can have multiple children and love them equally, so why is this not possible in other relationships?

Is love necessarily monogamous?

Another argument against it is that many believe that love is monogamous by definition. In their view, monogamy is an essential characteristic of true love, and polygamy is its opposite. But why? Someone says that it is so inherent in nature: to love someone means to promise your feelings only to him, so that this person feels confident.

But this approach assumes that both partners desire monogamy, which is highly controversial. It is natural that monogamously oriented people will want a monogamous relationship, but this does not explain the desire for monogamy itself!

The desire for a monogamous relationship does not require special justification. But we can say the same about other types of relationships. Including the choice not to enter into a relationship at all. It is quite difficult to defend the monogamous essence of love without the assumption that both lovers want monogamy - and here we get into a vicious circle.

When you already have a relationship...

If you are in a relationship with someone who has an expectation of monogamy, then loving another person at the same time poses a problem. The most obvious difficulty is that you are devoting time to your lover that your regular partner wants to spend with you.

But let's imagine that you don't waste your free time on new love. For example, you are simply texting with the person you are in love with at work. There is a more difficult to measure resource than time. You may be depriving your long-term partner by not giving him all your heartfelt love and devotion. If your partner values special treatment and monogamy, you are deceiving him about your relationship, which he values - it is not what he thinks it is.

It's a completely different question if your long-term partner doesn't particularly value monogamy. In this case, you are open to additional relationships.

It may be that your partner is no longer emotionally involved in your relationship and it is being maintained for other reasons. For example, due to children, religious views, financial status, social norms, etc. Then it's no surprise that you, too, find it difficult to stay emotionally involved in relationships. You may feel a sense of emptiness that new love could fill. In such a relationship, you can love another person without depriving your long-term partner of anything, believing that his train has left.

What about the second one?

Let's say you don't deprive your regular partner of anything, neither time nor money. But what does it feel like for the second lover? Is this attitude fair to him? Of course, he or she may agree to this, and you can justify yourself by doing so. But ask yourself: is this really the best that the person I love deserves? Could this make him happy?

It is one thing to respect the choice of a loved one, it is quite another if you feel that this is not the best option for him. Do you really want your loved one to always take second place - after your regular partner - in your daily life?

How often do we find true love first? And how sad it is to find her at the wrong time, when you are already in another relationship. It's easy if you can end an old relationship for a new one, but it's not always easy. Sometimes you can't leave or don't even want to leave. As a result, you are trying to balance two relationships at once. But can you do it in a way that makes everyone happy?

I'm not sure... What about you?

Author: Mark D. White. Translation: Ekaterina Kuzminykh.

Similar

A man chooses from two women. Why does a man start rushing between women?

A man begins to rush between two women when he realizes in his head that such a relationship cannot be continued and he needs to make a difficult and painful choice. At the same time, the man tries not to make a mistake in his choice and stay with one of the two lovers. Usually men stay with those with whom they feel more relaxed and comfortable. At the same time, it is worth considering the fact that even if they make a choice in favor of one woman, they will be tormented by doubts for a long time. And here it is very important for the winner to choose the right tactics of behavior. After all, if she begins to convince a man with all her behavior that he then made the wrong choice, he may leave her.

It is always very difficult to say exactly which of two women a man will prefer. In this matter, everything will depend not only on women, but also on the strength of attraction, habits and decency of the man himself. And here it is extremely wrong to believe that men are insensitive and are not inclined to worry much about this. If they are stuck in a love triangle, they will constantly be torn apart by internal conflicts. Both women will shorten his life, since it will be difficult for him to refuse both of them before the final choice. Therefore, they have to lie for the sake of their supposed peace of mind.

Often, when a man rushes between two women, they try to do everything in order to pull the blanket to their side. Very often this behavior becomes the reason for choosing in favor of a rival. Among the mistakes that women often make, men really don’t like the violation of their personal space. Women try to extort from their loved one how he feels, thereby trying to understand what is happening and making their main mistake. In this case, a woman should not focus solely on the feelings of her chosen one. She has her own feelings and emotions and she must tell him about them. Sometimes a man himself will be happy to share his experiences. A woman’s task is to tactfully get a frank conversation from a man. In addition, women who share their man with another woman blame themselves for what is happening. You can't do that. Even if there were problems in the relationship before, a man without female help will choose the path of “bigamy.” The woman must understand that it was solely his choice. Therefore, she should not lower her standards; the one who made the mistake should bear responsibility for everything. Women who have a rival also often try to find out more about her from their man. You should never do this. When a woman constantly thinks about her rival and competes with her in everything, she makes room for her in her life. Moreover, in this way a woman unconsciously blurs the boundaries of her couple with a man and lets a stranger into her.

If a guy rushes between two girls. I can’t figure it out, I’m rushing between two girls.

Question for a psychologist:

Hello, I’ll describe the situation briefly, there is a girl - my first love. I am her first and she is mine (only in terms of relationships (we were 14)) (there was no intimacy or kissing). They dated for a while, then broke up. I was the initiator. After 4 years we met each other and started dating. And still, 6 years together. I love her, she loves me. My parents (relatives) accepted me well and I like them. We both work, we communicate normally, everything is fine in bed, she waited for me from the army, she doesn’t demand gifts, she cooks and cleans. But here’s the problem, because of the new job (works late), it doesn’t please her much (namely in terms of intimacy). I want to understand this, I’m trying. Sometimes I drink to somehow take my mind off it. Sometimes we fight because of this, mostly just because of this. But inside, some other me is freaking out. And I’m looking for all possible ways out, I just can’t let her go. I can’t imagine that she will be with someone else (that’s briefly). But then I met a girl (I was doing renovations for her, she came from another city, works here and rents an apartment, she has a daughter, she is not married, I didn’t ask about the child. I don’t like to ask about this, I don’t have a husband, she’s good, pretty (in my understanding), for some reason I recognized her as mine, I liked the communication with her, somehow I was drawn to her by common interests. I communicate with her, she hints at me liking her, but I avoid answering and change topics, because for For me, cheating is the lowest thing. It’s like betrayal. And so I’m rushing around, my girlfriend doesn’t know that I’m communicating with her. And she doesn’t know that I have a girlfriend (they just didn’t ask me, and I’m careful in conversations).

Psychologist Alina Igorevna Savenko answers the question.

Hello, Vladislav.

When a person faces any choice, it is always a choice between the past and the future.

Choosing the past is a familiar and familiar scenario. In favor of what has already happened in your life. Choosing stability and a familiar path, confidence in the future.

Choosing the future is a choice of anxiety, uncertainty and unpredictability.

The weight of choice lies in determining the price you must pay. Price is what you are willing to sacrifice to achieve your choice.

You should think carefully about what you will sacrifice if you choose the past (your girlfriend). Or when choosing the future (your friend), in this case, what will you sacrifice?

Where do you think there will be less sacrifice?

You still have to make a choice, otherwise refusal to make a decision will entail guilt towards yourself for the unused opportunity, and then betrayal of yourself.

And live longer with pain.

You can write to me by email for a detailed analysis of your situation, we will analyze your sacrifices in favor of the past and future.

How to behave if a man can’t make up his mind. He's not in love, he's just infatuated

For many men, love is a truly serious matter. In order to really love a woman. At the same time, she must also meet a number of his requests - to be beautiful in appearance, skillful in bed, a good housewife and a caring wife.

Sometimes for such people, love at first replaces attraction. If a lady is pretty and makes a pleasant impression, he begins, sometimes even unnoticed by himself, to become interested in her. This is expressed in interest in her, in her affairs, hobbies and preferences. However, in this case, he is in no hurry to let you into his life, shares his secrets, thoughts and even plans for life. This is awarded to those who really care about him.

But if a man is not in love, but is attracted to you, you also have a chance. Wanting a woman does not mean loving her, but he can hardly love one he doesn’t want. How to get his attention and make sure that the relationship develops harmoniously. Full-fledged relationships also do not begin by chance. Before becoming a real couple and achieving complete mutual understanding, partners must go through 5 stages of rapprochement.

First stage - attraction

At this stage everything is just beginning. A man pays attention to a woman, feels sympathy and physical interest in her. About the same thing happens to a woman, with the only difference being that she pays attention not to a man’s appearance, but to his intellectual qualities, character and achievements. Without this stage, further development of the novel is impossible.

The second stage is a period of uncertainty in relationships

All couples also go through this stage. It looks like this - a man makes an effort to conquer a woman, and then does not know what to do. He is visited by a feeling of uncertainty, doubt - suddenly he was mistaken, and this is not his person at all. It is at this stage that the newly-minted lover sometimes disappears and stops communicating, which greatly frightens her, who feels unwanted. You should take this calmly - if he needs you, he will return to you when he understands his feelings, and the more freedom you give him, the more attached he will become. But if you are too persistent and respond negatively to his rare calls, very soon he will stop contacting you completely.

Stage Three: Jealousy and Possessiveness

After a man has decided that he really needs you, there comes a time when he begins to be jealous of you. At the same time, he himself stops paying attention to other women, and he wants to be the only one with you.

Stage four - rapprochement

At this stage, people finally let each other into their lives. Sometimes during this period they begin to live together. Rapprochement is characterized by the fact that partners get to know each other better, become truly close and frank, no longer hiding various traits of their character from each other. No one strives to seem better, and this suggests that the novel has moved to a new level.

Fifth stage - definition

Most often, an engagement or wedding occurs at this stage. A man and a woman cease to be just a couple and become a full-fledged family. If partners do not want to register the relationship, they begin to live together and make joint plans for their future lives.

Why shouldn't you rush things?

Sometimes a woman has such strong feelings for a man that she tries to speed up the development of her romance. In some cases, this really works - for example, if a man feels timid and cannot decide to take active action. But even in this case, you can overdo it.

However, most often this leads to the same result - initiative is discouraged. Having not yet understood his feelings, he begins to doubt more and more that he needs a relationship with this persistent lady.

Sometimes the man himself rushes things. Not understanding what exactly he needs from a woman, he rushes to take the romance into a more serious direction, and he himself loses interest in his partner. Your task in this case is to prevent the situation from moving too quickly. Let everything take its course. Get closer gradually, getting to know each other and getting used to each other, working on your relationship - only in this case will it be promising and long-term.

Love triangle

The situation with the emergence of a love triangle is described in many works. It also occurs in life, often taking the form of betrayal on the part of one of the partners. Usually, relationships are started on the side with the goal of finding something that is missing with a regular partner.

For example, when the feeling of tenderness for his wife remains, but she is no longer sexually attracted, the husband begins to look for another, usually more beautiful and younger.

Some representatives of the stronger sex experience a loving attachment to a woman only for the first 2-3 years, and after that the passion passes, and neither the sexual nor the emotional side of communication brings the same pleasure. Therefore, a man is looking for a new partner, often without breaking the previous connection, since it is more convenient for him to be in her.

There is also a common misconception that status requires having a mistress. In such cases, there is no talk of love, and the woman acts more like an expensive toy, such as a Swiss watch or a prestigious car.

Another version of the love triangle, more often found among young people, is the simultaneous beginning of an affair with two girls. For example, when a guy was chasing after several at once, and suddenly he was lucky with more than one. Usually in such situations everything is resolved quickly - it becomes difficult to hide the presence of a competitor, and you have to make a difficult choice.

An alternative way out is an open relationship, but for this it is necessary that all three do not perceive them with hostility. In extremely rare cases, it is possible to build “love for three,” especially if both girls are bisexual, but much more often it ends in a scandal and the departure of one of the parties or a complete break.

Love for three

Can a man truly love two women at the same time? Or is he deceiving himself, and this is just a cover for selfish motives and promiscuity? Many psychologists prefer to adhere to cautious assessments when talking about the individuality of people’s characters and preferences, including regarding polygamy or monogamy.

However, there are also experts who are ready to talk about the problem frankly, without fear of disapproval from society: it is possible to love two people at the same time. At the same time, two stages of relationships are experienced at once: the brightness of their beginning and the strength of long-term attachment.

I recommend you watch: How to casually respond to a man’s compliment

Family relationships and the inadmissibility of polygamy are partly imposed by society and its restrictions - in nature, many species of animals behave differently. Sometimes males gather around themselves a kind of harem of females, and try to fertilize as many of them as possible, obeying the ancient instinct of procreation.

Of course, in the conditions of human society this is hardly possible. But a monogamous relationship with one partner for decades seems to many people, especially representatives of the younger generation, to be an unnecessary extreme.

Due to social frameworks and a sense of responsibility, while in a relationship, partners try to suppress the attraction that arises towards other people. Let's imagine that open relationships and families with more than two partners are not condemned by society. Chances are good that in such a society a small but significant proportion of men and women would choose such an exotic option.

Another obstacle to such relationships is jealousy, the reasons for which are self-doubt, selfishness of the owner, fear of competition and fear of being of no use to anyone. There are several ways to cope with jealousy, for example, with the help of cognitive behavioral psychotherapy.

However, most people still lean towards monogamy. Another question is to what extent this desire is true, and to what extent it is imposed by the will of society.