Types of complexes, nature of occurrence
So, there are the following types of complexes:
Inferiority complex
It manifests itself in constant comparison with others and a feeling of a lower level of external data, in achievements, success, and income. A feeling of inner insignificance, uncertainty, constant need for support, a negative attitude towards life, one’s own personality.
This complex is self-destructive; a person independently inhibits personal development and achievement of success. The difficulties of life are associated with internal assessment. The formula is “I’m the worst, I’m alone.” A person often withdraws and cannot find friends or mutual understanding with others.
Reasons: lack of love during childhood, single-parent families, school insults, teasing, increased suspiciousness.
Superiority complex
It is observed in people with inflated self-esteem and confidence in exclusivity. Such people believe that everyone is indebted to them, they like to command, control, lead, they prefer to receive attention and love without giving it away. They constantly learn lessons in life, have difficulty getting along with people, are often disappointed in life and people, not realizing that selfishness is the main difficulty in their lives. The formula is “I am the best, I am alone.”
The reasons for the formation of the complex are in upbringing, excessive love, indulgence of all whims, a person’s unpreparedness for life in society, and inability to care for others.
Victim complex
Formed as a result of suppression of will in childhood, constant coercion - screaming, threats, use of force. Even simple things - being forced to eat in the amounts required for adults, not to mention the physical impact.
The child must learn to recognize the feeling of hunger, the need for food and the amount of food to satisfy hunger. Coercion is gradually caused by the role of the victim, people feel constantly unhappy, are accustomed to obeying, submitting to the circumstances of life, are afraid to take initiative and take control of life into their own hands.
Guilt complex
Quite an insidious complex, few people like to feel pangs of conscience, it is unpleasant, there is internal pain and repentance. However, people with a guilt complex do not like to torment themselves, but prefer to see problems in others - they deserve trouble, that’s what they need, having offended a person, they cannot ask for forgiveness or meet halfway. Life punishes such people - there are accidents, illnesses, accidents in life.
Foreignness complex
It occurs in an unfamiliar environment, when traveling abroad, when you are very different from the local residents or feel like a “black sheep” in a school or work community. The reasons may be in appearance or personal characteristics, non-compliance with usual standards of behavior. For example, friends smoke, but some don’t. You need to increase your self-esteem, realize that it is normal to have a different point of view, different from those around you.
Loneliness complex
Associated with feelings of rejection, one’s own lack of acceptance of the world and surrounding life. Associated emotions are fear of loneliness, awareness of abandonment, lack of demand in society, it seems that life is in vain. As a result, a person can become envious and selfish. The loneliness complex often arises against the background of an inferiority and superiority complex. Thoughts of loneliness constantly torment a person and cause depression.
Complex of “searching for true love”
In the modern world, many have heard about true love, imagine it, but have not met it, constantly search and do not find... and life passes... Excessive idealization, romanticization of love leads to the desire to live in a fairy-tale world, and relationships require efforts on both sides to develop and strengthen , for love it is not enough to have “beautiful eyes”. But I just want love...
Parent complex
Harmful to parents and children. We often observe situations - a parent tries to live life for a child, believing, knowing better, making decisions, indicating actions, constantly controlling, commanding. So the child will not be able to gain the independence necessary in life, it will be difficult to build a family in the future, or the desire to get married early or run away from the parental home will appear.
Children need respect and understanding, support, and not total army drill. The task of parents is to raise them as viable people who know how to think, make decisions, and not get lost in difficult situations. Understanding the love and care of loved ones, they will strive to communicate with their parents as adults.
So, there are 8 main complexes that arise in the process of life, mainly after interaction with the team, leaving parental care. The child begins to compare himself with the children around him, observe advantages and disadvantages, and experience the first insults and disappointments. The task of parents is to prepare their children for life in society.
The impact of negative emotions on the human psyche and the health of the body
Psychologists have established the most dangerous emotions for human health:
- envy leads to heart disease;
- jealousy is the cause of hormonal imbalances and impotence;
- self-criticism - destroys the body, increases the likelihood of cancer;
- self-pity - negatively affects the liver;
- greed - causes digestive disorders, stomach diseases, as well as nervousness.
The impact of these emotions on life should be minimized, and parents should learn to control themselves and not take it out on their children and loved ones. All words and actions are remembered by childhood memory and manifest themselves in adult life in the form of complexes.
There are male and female complexes. Let's take a closer look at the features, how to deal with complexes?
Women's complexes
Women are more emotional and sensitive, often perceive words painfully, and as a result also suffer from complexes:
Excess weight, lack of attractiveness
There are very few women in the world who are completely satisfied with their appearance; there is a constant desire to improve something - tint, reduce, change shape, lose weight, gain weight, straighten or curl your hair, grow it or cut it, there is no limit to perfection.
Of course, beautiful appearance is important, the main thing is to realize that you can be attractive regardless of your natural characteristics; many women have achieved success thanks to charm, charm, and self-confidence. How can a woman deal with complexes and anxieties associated with appearance?
- Try to find the winning aspects of appearance, be able to create a harmonious image, maintain physical fitness, engage in self-hypnosis;
- Increase self-esteem, a confident woman is always attractive;
- Understand - there are no ideals and tastes are different, the main thing is to find your own special style, believe in personal potential, value, beauty.
Remember that advertising and fashion magazines are a way of manipulation; manufacturers of weight loss products need victims suffering from complexes, just like cosmetics manufacturers. The desire to lose weight should be personal, not imposed by society, and the methods should be safe: jogging, fitness, restrictions on sweets, and not grueling diets. The main indicator is the state of health, “for every product there is a buyer,” not everyone likes thin girls.
Fear of loneliness
This complex is more developed in women; there is an opinion that a girl must have a lover or a spouse; many are afraid to live life alone. As a result, they are ready to connect their lives with unworthy people and enter into relationships that do not bring joy. Unfortunately, low self-esteem plays against women; they cannot find personal happiness due to the fear of loneliness. Loneliness or freedom? - it all depends on your attitude to the situation. Sometimes you need to be alone to understand yourself, life, and reassess values.
Guilt
Women tend to worry - how good am I as a mother, wife, employee? They painfully experience failures in their professional and personal lives and are tormented by self-recrimination. It's difficult to be perfect in every way. Such women are more a myth than a reality; the main thing is to remain a normal person, and not an ideal, successful, tortured and unhappy mother or wife.
Complex expectations of beautiful love
In childhood, everyone read the fairy tale about Cinderella and believed: one day they will meet a handsome prince on a white horse, but in life there are few princes, especially ideal ones; high expectations lead to disappointment, the inability to find love, to start a family.
Men are also people with pluses and minuses, the main thing is to find a person who meets the basic parameters, build a happy relationship, achieve the desired results together, trying to inspire heroic deeds in life, and not “nag”, this is not how they become princes. A man’s success in life largely depends on a woman and her support.
Complex of external shortcomings
Women tend to painfully endure external imperfections - a long nose, short legs, large ears; disproportions haunt them, and plastic surgeons are always ready to help. At the same time, operations are extremely expensive, and not everyone needs them - some of the shortcomings can be smoothed out with makeup, some with hairstyle, the main thing is to learn to live with them, many successful Hollywood actresses have flaws in appearance - Julia Roberts, Barbara Streisand, but they learned to live with them and achieved incredible results success.
Comparison complex
Women really don’t like being compared, especially the men they love, while they tend to watch other women, assessing their own appearance, and strive to look beautiful and attractive. Skilled ladies' men take advantage of this by making compliments and extolling the beauty of women.
It is important for a woman to have her own internal assessment scale, independent of external factors, to find her own characteristics and advantages. Women with low self-esteem are easy prey for men who play on feelings and are often not particularly honest.
A complex woman feels unhappy, constantly suffers from failures in her personal life - loneliness or unworthy men pursue her along the path of life.
Asymmetry
There is nothing absolutely symmetrical in nature, including human appearance. If your eye shape is slightly different, the corners of your lips are slightly distorted, or the size of your mammary glands is different, this is not a reason to have complexes. Be sure that a man will not even notice all this if you yourself do not point out your shortcomings to him. Moreover, a slight asymmetry can become a real highlight of your appearance.
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How can a woman deal with complexes?
- Look your fears in the face, analyze what thoughts are troubling you?
- Find evidence to refute negative thoughts. Write down what you were praised for in life, what successes you achieved. Every woman has her own achievements.
- Think about how to improve the situation, for attractiveness - just change your image (hairstyle, clothing style), for internal confidence, practice auto-training - “I am the most charming and attractive” (remember the movie “The Most Charming and Attractive”?)
- Realize that every person is unique and beautiful, a woman has a special beauty that you need to be able to discover in yourself. The main thing is to develop confidence.
- Loneliness is not a tragedy, everything is fixable, and destructive relationships should not poison life. By changing your inner beliefs and engaging in your external image, transformations will occur in your life - you will meet more worthy men, capable of appreciating and loving.
- Learn to look at life realistically. Do not strive for ideals, but look for your own person, close in spirit, understanding and accepting with all the advantages and disadvantages.
So, how to get rid of complexes? Work on yourself, self-esteem, change the external and internal image of your “I”. Find an example in life or among famous people and mentally ask for help, study ways of behavior in various situations, develop a sense of inner dignity.
Makeup
Believe me, men don’t care at all whether your lipstick matches the color of your nail polish, whether there is shimmer in the shadows, whether your eyelashes are voluminous enough, or whether your eyebrows are perfect. Representatives of the stronger sex do not care about makeup. They perceive it only as an addition to your beautiful appearance. So don't worry too much if your makeup isn't professional enough.
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Moreover, most men have a negative attitude towards cosmetics. They love natural girls. So think carefully before you draw on graphic eyebrows or stick on false eyelashes.
Male complexes
Perhaps there was a feeling that men have fewer complexes, because appearance is less important to them? Men have enough personal experiences, and there are also internal fears.
Basic men's complexes:
Fear of submission
A real man is raised as a leader who knows how to lead a team, who is a support for a future family, but not everyone is able to make a career or build their own business right away; uncertainty arises, the fear of having to live in subordination.
The solution is to perceive work as an experience for further career growth or creating a personal business, adopt the experience of senior colleagues, absorb information, look for opportunities for further development, and avoid relationships with powerful women.
Love failures
Failures on the love front worry men quite a lot; even if they have a permanent relationship and the girl they love, they worry whether everything is fine in the intimate sphere and need praise and moral support. They are vulnerable, like children, and touchy in these matters.
Fear of old age
Many men are afraid of aging, this manifests itself closer to forty years, a desire appears to change their life, build a new family or find a young lover. In a normal situation, such cravings do not arise; people continue to live together.
Napoleonic complex
External shortcomings - short or too tall stature - also hurt the male consciousness and cause strong feelings. Short guys try with all their might to develop other talents to attract girls and can be successful in their careers and life achievements.
Fear of betrayal
For a man, cheating on a girl or wife is a disaster, an injection of self-esteem - it cannot make a girl happy, self-esteem decreases. It is natural for a man to be afraid of losing his beloved, because there are many competitors around, and as a result, jealousy arises.
Fear of a woman's responsibilities
For many men, since childhood, the division of labor in the family has been prescribed: the man is the breadwinner, the woman is the housewife. And after creating your own family, difficulties arise with the division of functions, the modern world has changed a lot - a woman also goes to work, earns money, but must also run the household, sometimes she needs help, it is not weakness, but strength - to help her beloved.
Fear of abandonment
For a man, a breakup on the part of a girl is a painful blow to his pride; most believe that they choose life partners, but the world is changing, girls can also make decisions and plan to create a future family. It is better to draw conclusions and understand why this happens, find the reasons, and strive for development.
It is this complex that underlies the fear of attractive and intelligent women; they prefer a mediocre option so as not to be left alone.
Men have enough of their own complexes, often related to relationships and women, fulfillment in life and career. A complex man cannot build good relationships or achieve success in his career; it is important to understand what slows down the process of life and try to neutralize internal obstacles.
How can a man deal with complexes? To begin with, understand what worries and interferes in life? Fear of women or inability to realize yourself? Find evidence of success in the past, positive qualities for building relationships, careers, write a list.
The question “how can a man get rid of his complexes” also applies to women; they can either help or worsen situations and develop fears. A smart girl always strives to help her loved one overcome their complexes; only together can they overcome all obstacles and achieve heights in life. Support and faith are an inspiration for a man, stimulating him to development and achievement.
Shoes
Women pay special attention to shoes. Ladies carefully choose models. They suffer from walking in high heels. They also make sure to choose shoes or boots that match the color of the accessories. Women may have more than a dozen pairs of shoes in their arsenal. And all this waste and suffering is completely in vain. Men don't pay attention to what a woman is wearing. The main thing is that the shoes match the overall concept of the image. And the rest of the details will go unnoticed.
Effective methods of dealing with complexes
Complexes occur in the lives of different people - men, women, children, and are based on increased suspiciousness, anxiety, uncertainty, and negative life experiences. How to get rid of complexes, is it possible to improve the situation on your own without the help of psychologists?
If the situation is not critical (severe depression), then the following answers to the questions are recommended:
How to deal with an inferiority complex?
Psychologists suggest using the method of “motivation by development” rather than “motivation by imperfection.” It is difficult for a person to deal with shortcomings; it is easier to find points of support in the form of a positive character, the ability to develop further - set goals, learn new things, experience life. You don't need to be better than others, you need to be yourself! This is the main secret, it is important to discover your potential.
Negative emotions and feelings about appearance will go away if we transform thoughts and attitudes towards these subjects; we force ourselves to suffer, using negative thinking, sending negative signals through the brain to the nervous system. This means we can make life fulfilling and happy by believing that we deserve the best.
Develop internal self-esteem, confidence in your strength, this is the core of your personality, which should not depend on the opinions of others, you are the best of your kind, worthy of respect and happiness. Learn to accept your own personality with all its physical and mental manifestations, there are no ideal people, the main thing is to understand that you were born for happiness, to show love for yourself and others. After all, the thought “love others as yourself” also presupposes love for yourself, otherwise there will only be sacrifice, and not love for the people around you.
This complex can be treated by understanding and accepting one’s Self, increasing self-esteem, refusing comparisons, observing successes and achievements in one’s life, and keeping count of victories.
How to deal with appearance complexes?
Appearance complexes usually arise during adolescence; they also occur from childhood, when a child notices ridicule directed at him for certain reasons. Over the years, many things are leveled out, become less noticeable, but complexes remain. What to do, how to get rid of complexes?
- focus on strengths;
- find ways to work through shortcomings whenever possible or not pay attention to them if correction is impossible;
- realize that ideal is a vague concept, even the most beautiful actresses are often dissatisfied with their appearance, and standards of beauty are constantly changing, the main thing is inner comfort;
- develop the following traits: optimism, sociability, openness in communicating with people, then “cute” appearance features will not play a big role. People perceive a person as a whole and would prefer to communicate with a pleasant person with external flaws than with an interlocutor with ideal beauty and tediousness or pessimism.
The question is how to get rid of complexes - a whole system of exercises, and most importantly - control of thinking and attitude towards one’s own personality and life. All difficulties are inherent at the level of self-perception, and you cannot reject yourself, then you will not see happiness in life. Only the ability to understand and accept yourself will give you the opportunity to love others.
Look for internal attitudes and beliefs that destroy life, often imposed from childhood, without any basis. It is very easy to get a complex as a result of a lack of love in the family or negative attitudes from peers; it is more difficult to correct the situation in adulthood. You need to understand that only a person is the master of his destiny, and we decide for ourselves whether we will be happy or not, whether we will allow ourselves to achieve heights or whether we will be doomed to a series of failures in our personal and public lives.
You make all the decisions for him
In caring for her beloved man, a woman-savior sees no boundaries or obstacles. She interferes not only in everyday issues such as choosing a wardrobe for a guy or joint plans for the weekend, but also in all life decisions. Even those that concern only him.
If you rush to help before considering whether your man needs it, you obviously have a savior complex. I have already talked about the habits of a helpless man. If you want someone like him next to you, you're doing everything right.
