"Be a man!"
Every woman has uttered this phrase at least once in her life. Think about it: men by nature are males - strong, resilient, independent. Such words not only offend your soulmate, but also deprive you of any ambitions. After all, a man wants to look strong and courageous in the eyes of his beloved woman, to feel her recognition and admiration. By hinting in this way to your spouse that he is not courageous enough, you discourage him from any desire to be a real protector. At best, your husband will get tired of listening to accusations and he will stop responding to your requests altogether. But it is likely that a man will want to find solace in the arms of someone who will not doubt his masculine qualities.
Read also: Top 10 things that kill relationships
What phrases should men not say?
Men and women perceive the same words and phrases completely differently, and we need to remember that we are different and this is natural.
As often happens, you speak with good intentions to improve the situation and relationship, but the man seems to not understand you at all and seems to be hearing something completely different.
By the way, this is how it is - he really hears something different, due to his masculine nature and a slightly different view of things.
So, here are the most common mistake phrases when talking to a man:
- Phrase: “I need to talk to you.”
With this phrase you want to show that the conversation is important to you.
The man thinks that they will now begin to “load” him with something, and not too pleasant for him, and therefore he tries to delay the moment of this very conversation as much as possible or avoids it in all possible ways.
Replacement: “I need your advice,” “I want to discuss such and such an issue with you,” “Your opinion on this matter is important to me.”
And one more thing - a man loves specifics, so it would be ideal to say: “Darling, I need 20 minutes of your time to discuss such and such with you.”
- Phrase: “ You don’t love me/don’t appreciate me/...”
By saying this, you want to attract the attention of a man, show that you need care, that you feel insecure about his feelings and want him to show them towards you, you want to get reassurance and regain confidence that your feelings are the same strong as ever.
In this case, the man is perplexed - why don’t I love you so much if I’m still with you? If I do so much for you? It begins to seem to him that you don’t notice any of this and he loses all motivation to do anything further.
You know that story about - “Why don’t you say you love me anymore? I said it once, if anything changes, I'll let you know"?
There is a lot of truth in this joke, in fact, this is the nature of a man, it is like that.
Replacement:
It is better to express your real desires, and the highest aerobatics is to voice how you feel, for example:
- “Darling, I feel restless, it seems to me that you have begun to love me less,”
- "Hug and kiss me"
- “I need your support, stay with me, please.”
This, especially for the first time, is sometimes very unusual to say, because pride awakens in us. But believe me - firstly, this is much more effective for both of you, and secondly, it will definitely save you from conflict on this matter.
- Phrase: “But Katya/Sveta/Luba has a husband, what a fine fellow, that’s what he’s achieved...”
Girls, remember once and for all - a man is not motivated by such phrases, only the opposite. If you want to provoke aggression in your direction, to cool his attitude towards you, use it more often, it will “help” you a lot with this.
For a man, such a phrase from the lips of his beloved woman is equal to betrayal, because it seems to him that she preferred another man to him.
Replacement:
Again, start with yourself and realize what exactly you want - shoes, a phone, a car, a trip to the sea or just a weekend together - and just tell your man about it, express your desire, and do it emotionally, showing those as much as possible. the joyful emotions you will experience from this. Remember how children, without hesitation, demonstrate their sincere joy when their eyes light up and the smile does not leave their faces.
And just give your man as much time as he needs to fulfill this desire - leave “room for achievement” for your loved one.
- Phrase: “You never help me with anything, you never do/give me anything...”
Starting a phrase with “You never and nothing..” - you automatically, as it were, cross out everything that your man has done in general throughout the entire time. It's a shame, don't you agree? Motivates for further action, don’t you think? Of course not. What's the point of continuing to do something for a woman who doesn't notice or thank her at all?
Although you just wanted to show him how much you needed help.
Replacement: “Darling, please help me with this...”
- Phrase: “I told you so!”
This is simply a hit with all women and the most deadly phrase possible.
You probably just want to make it clear to the man that you want him to listen to your opinion and advice, because you want to see that your opinion has value and importance for the man.
But the man in this phrase sees something completely different - firstly, that you are always right and the smartest, secondly, you are certainly smarter than him, and he is generally a loser, and thirdly, that he is simply they simply suppress.
Even if a man made a mistake, there is no need to “finish him off” with this phrase, he himself sees everything perfectly well. Otherwise, you will receive nothing from a man except aggression, or, in the end, you yourself will successfully turn him into a “rag”, completely devoid of motivation. Do you want that?
Replacement: If you really need a man to do as you want, you can just gently ask him about it. Or try to lead him to this thought: “What do you think, what if we do it like this...?”
What to do if a man makes a mistake? The best thing is to just remain silent and pretend that everything is fine. Believe me, he will appreciate it, this is your manifestation of feminine wisdom. And next time he will certainly do everything as it should.
Girls, good luck in communicating with your soul mates, and remember - we are different.
“Darling, what are you thinking about now?”
About fishing, the deadline, the second part of the cult shooting game and whether it’s worth eating another portion of soup. In other words, it’s hardly what you would like to hear. Unlike women, representatives of the stronger half of humanity are more inclined to action rather than to long thoughts. Such questions will cause nothing but irritation in your husband.
Read also: How to understand that a man is cheating? 6 signs
What you shouldn't discuss with a man
If we are only talking about starting a relationship with the man you like, then you should not discuss with him:
Achievements of other men
Every man wants to feel like the only and the best. Therefore, you should not talk about the achievements of the men around you: Victor bought a new car, Dima has the latest iPhone model, etc. At some point, pride will prevail, and your man will go looking for a less demanding person.
Not “male” topics
There are few men who will discuss the latest fashion with you, your latest shopping experience, or long and boring TV series. Therefore, try to find topics for conversation that will be interesting to both: sports, a new blockbuster, fishing, etc. Ideally, if you have common hobbies, for example, jogging together, cooking, watching movies.
Your health
Everyone knows that if a woman is sick, then it’s her problem: a couple of days on the pills, and you should be on your feet again. Men's health is a special topic. It so happened historically that the slightest runny nose or tingling in a man’s side should attract attention from the fairer sex. Remember Carlson: “I am the sickest person in the world!” This is how we women should perceive any ailment of a man.
At the same time, it is better not to say anything about your health. Your revelations about a sick stomach, unhealthy kidneys and (God forbid!) women's problems will only alienate your chosen one, and he will go looking for someone younger and healthier.
Personal life of acquaintances
If a man is dear to you, then you do not need to discuss with him the details of the personal lives of your friends and acquaintances. You run the risk of becoming a gossip in his eyes, delving into dirty laundry. And if intimate details come into play, the man will run away from you, his heels sparkling. Men do not dwell on this topic, preferring to discuss sex issues among themselves very briefly: “Well, how are you and that blonde?” - "Great!"
Find out many more taboo topics for talking to a man here:
“Don’t you think I’ve gained weight?”
Another unnerving question. Firstly, this is how you yourself focus the attention of your chosen one on your shortcomings. Some men may not notice a change in hair color, let alone the +300 g that you found on the scales this morning. Secondly, what answer do you want? Certainly not a remark that it’s really time for you to go to the gym.
Read also: What habits destroy a marriage?
restricted area
As you know, there is male psychology, and there is female psychology. It’s the same with logic: there are thousands of jokes about women’s logic just because men deny women any logic. However, women know that women's intuition works better than any logic. Be that as it may, every woman needs to understand that her views on many things may not coincide absolutely with a man. However, there are topics that you should not start a conversation about with a man under any circumstances.
The list of these topics is not so wide:
- physical disabilities,
- health problems,
- phobias or specific fears,
- unpleasant memories.
If you start telling any of the above about yourself, a man won’t be too happy about it, because he wants to see a woman who is healthy, both physically and mentally, next to him, and not an old woman who is always whining about her pains and fears.
And if you start asking a man what’s wrong with his health and why he prefers to sleep alone, you can hurt his male pride. Therefore, at the stage of forming a relationship with a partner, such topics should become a taboo zone.
"Let's not today. I have a headache..."
Burda Media
It's one thing if you're really tired or not feeling well. It’s completely different when you deprive your spouse of your favorite pleasure intentionally in order to teach a lesson or punish. Be careful: by limiting your sex life for educational purposes, you provoke a man to look for a more accommodating woman who never hurts.
Any comparison phrases
We have written repeatedly that you should never compare your loved one with someone else. This will be painful for anyone. Like a stab in the back or betrayal from a loved one. If you compare your man with another, then be sure to say that your man is better. Because if you say that this or that man is better than yours, then this can greatly lower your self-esteem. Advice from psychologists: before you say something that might offend a man, try to take his side and imagine if they told you that. Thanks to this advice, you can avoid most scandals and even save your relationship. Source
Bad news messages
The next piece of advice on what not to write to a man is about bad news. Bad news should be communicated in person at a meeting, or, as a last resort, by voice over the phone. Because such news can negatively affect a person’s mood and require emotional support. So don't text your man right away if something bad happens. Here are some examples of bad news that people most often report:
- Someone significant in this person's life has died;
- You or a family member have received a very bad medical diagnosis;
- Major financial losses and financial problems;
- Anything causing serious disappointment, cause for serious concern, or tragedy.
Breakup message
Breakup messages fall more into the bad news category, but I think it's important to highlight this point separately. Because texting about your desire to break up is a rude way to show someone you don't respect them. Even if there were a lot of conflicts between you and he behaved incorrectly, you should talk about the breakup in person. You might think he deserves this behavior. But remember that anger and the desire for revenge can be destructive for you.
Don't write long messages
Many men really don’t like long correspondence and long text messages. This is all due to the fact that they are not as romantic as women, so they do not see the point in long and romantic correspondence. Moreover, they react negatively to long messages and may not respond to them at all. Therefore, if you don’t want your relationship with a man to end at the dating stage, then you don’t need to bother him with constant messages.
Harass him with banal texts
Receiving a mountain of unimportant messages all day can be really annoying. So keep in mind that many people are very dedicated to their work and focus on it all day long. Therefore, they do not like to be distracted by unimportant messages. Your man may not care what color and design you put on your nails today at the beauty salon. He doesn't care what dress you're wearing today. He may have a lot of work, and his head will be loaded with completely different, more important things. Therefore, your messages will simply distract him.
This is especially true if he has already made it clear to you that your numerous messages are not welcome at work for good reasons. Allow yourself and your loved one to carry out everyday tasks calmly, and discuss personal issues at home or when meeting. And if a man works and he likes this type of communication, then this is very great, just keep in mind that in this case you both may lose your job.
Emotional texts
Emotional messages transfer all your fears, stress and anxieties onto the person. Perhaps this is due to your life problems or problems in your relationships. In any case, it is very draining and sucks all the strength out of both of you. It's best not to send text messages about sensitive topics. Because a man at such moments simply feels helpless. And at the moment he doesn’t have time to do anything.
This is also true if you are trying to make an argument for your text. Personal arguments can be quite tough. These things take time and forethought to discuss. The ability to control your emotions and words is a very important skill needed for any relationship. So be sure to learn to control them.
