Life is difficult for people with low self-esteem.
It’s easy for people with high self-esteem to live, but it’s so difficult for those around them. Surely you have come across such individuals: they are always overly self-confident, talk only about themselves, do not accept even justified criticism, do not listen to other people’s opinions and do not value the feelings of loved ones, and their sense of self-importance can break through the ceiling. I would like to erase them from my life forever, but this is not always possible. But you can minimize the harm from communicating with a person with high self-esteem. Read on to find out how to do this on uznayvse.ru.
People with high self-esteem are annoying
Don't give in to provocations
Arrogant people try to manipulate others, and not without success.
Therefore, when communicating with such a person, it is important to remember that he will try to make you out to be an aggressor, blame you for his failures, and make you doubt your own knowledge and skills. Narcissistic people are very fond of gaslighting - a manipulative technique aimed at undermining your picture of reality. Such people like to use phrases like “Are you crazy?”, “This didn’t happen and couldn’t happen!”, “It seemed to you,” “Of course I behaved like that, you’re crazy,” etc. Not missing an objective picture of the situation is the most important thing in communicating with such individuals. Don't blame yourself for their mistakes.
Don't spread demagoguery
It is usually easier to keep people with high self-esteem out of your life. But if it doesn’t work out, you should answer all complaints addressed to you briefly and clearly: “No,” without any explanations or justifications. If for some reason you are afraid of ruining your relationship, there are only two options (and you are unlikely to like them):
- Admire
- Be silent
Unfortunately, there are no other ways to effectively interact with such people and not offend them: either a firm “no,” or remain silent, or assent. There is no use arguing with them. A one-time attempt to pull them out of the cocoon of complacency may be crowned with success, but they will not forgive you for this and will certainly hate you.
What to do if self-esteem goes through the roof?
1. Be realistic.
You don't have to be the best at everything. Analyze your strengths and try to find your weaknesses. It's okay if you don't speak Chinese or don't understand physics. 2. Respect other people. They can also be smart and understand many areas of knowledge. It's okay if someone speaks Chinese and is well versed in physics. 3. Don't be offended by criticism. Criticism can be very useful, it can force you to move on or draw attention to some shortcomings that are easy to fix. 4. If you haven’t coped with something or haven’t completed an assignment, then look for the reason in yourself, and not in the people around you. 5. Try to carefully and objectively assess your capabilities before taking on any task. Don’t think that you can handle everything and can handle any task without problems. 6. Understand that you have flaws. This is normal, you are a living person. But you don’t need to consider your shortcomings as trifles, and the shortcomings of other people as a disaster. 7. Self-criticism in small doses is useful. It promotes self-improvement, self-development and self-improvement. 8. Pay attention to how others evaluate your activities. Self-satisfaction is great, but other people's appreciation is important too. Self-esteem can be changed. You just need desire and effort. With adequate self-esteem it is easier to live on your own and easier to communicate with other people. Did you like the article? Please share on social networks!
Don't stroke their ego
People with inappropriately high self-esteem need positive comments from others. If you don't want to have such a person in your close circle, stop feeding him praise. Having lost the source of admiration, he himself will reduce communication and move over to those who do not mind fawning.
Let them look for another source of praise
Causes of high self-esteem
Self-image is formed from early childhood. It is influenced by the child's environment. Parents, educators, teachers and other significant people are the most instrumental in shaping children's self-perception.
Very often, parents unconsciously form inappropriately high self-esteem in their child. This happens for one of the following reasons:
- parents are narcissistic individuals who do not give the child enough attention and emotional intimacy, since for them he is only a means of self-affirmation;
- the child is the first or only one in the family. He is very loved and overprotected. This often happens in families where there have been no children for a long time and the baby was desired and long-awaited;
- parents pamper the child, allow him everything he wants, fulfill all his whims and put his interests first. The baby grows up with the conviction that everyone owes him;
- if a person, for example a girl, has an attractive appearance, then she may begin to consider herself better than others, especially when in childhood parents and other adults focused on this;
- if a teenager does well at school or his parents occupy a high position, then teachers can single him out among his classmates, forming a syndrome of high self-esteem in him;
- the presence of outstanding abilities and talents can also lead to the formation of excessively high self-esteem;
- financial security often leads to the fact that a person begins to consider himself superior to others.
Shatter projections
The chance that a person with high self-esteem will admit his guilt is negligible. When he wants to avoid responsibility for a mistake, he begins to build projections - this is a strategy of defensive behavior that allows him to shift the blame for negative manifestations of his character, attributing these traits to his interlocutor. For example, if a girl doesn’t receive enough attention from a guy, in the next quarrel she will call him a “clingy nuisance” - realizing that she depends on him, she will try to make him look dependent, hoping to make her boyfriend feel guilty.
Sources of self-esteem
Childhood is the time when the foundation of future self-esteem is formed. It is the parents who transmit direct and indirect messages to the child about his value to them, show him what he is: good or bad, strong or weak.
Therefore, it is important whether parents show unconditional love, approval and acceptance, or whether their warmth and attention must be earned by special behavior and success.
The child copies not only the behavior of adults, but also their attitude towards himself. And, becoming an adult, he continues to look at himself, evaluate his actions through the eyes of his parents.
- If in childhood they expected more from a child than he was capable of due to individual or age-related characteristics, they criticized or sighed that “there are other children ...” - thus the basis for low self-esteem was formed.
- When parents emphasized the special development of the child in comparison with peers, praised and encouraged even the most insignificant achievements (an exaggerated example: a five-year-old assembled a construction set faster than all three-year-olds) - they created the conditions for inadequately inflated self-esteem.
The basis for adequate self-esteem is, first of all, the ability to objectively evaluate one’s successes and mistakes, to compare one’s capabilities with reality, without belittling or exaggerating them.
The essence of adequate self-esteem is to realistically assess your capabilities, without underestimating or overestimating them.
In adolescence and adolescence, self-esteem continues to depend on significant others (including the opinion of the reference group) and is therefore unstable. When a person leaves the care of his parents and begins to make decisions independently based on his own desires and values, then a choice appears: will self-esteem depend on other people or on personal criteria and ideas about oneself.
A reference group is a certain community of people whose standards and values a person is guided by in assessing himself and his actions, and strives to be accepted by members of this group.
When a person cares about the opinions of others, how good he is for them and whether he meets their expectations, then he, in fact, is guided by their value system and vision of the world. In addition, people around us can be sincere, kind and fair, or they can be in a bad mood or dissatisfied with themselves and everything in the world, including us. And then our so-called self-esteem will be stormy. And us along with her.
Don't trust them with personal information
It seems that such people ignore all the important information for you, but this is not entirely true. They remember painful moments for their interlocutor and will not hesitate to prick him if he offends them in any way. In addition, they will blurt out your personal secrets without a twinge of conscience - it just won’t even occur to them that they shouldn’t be advertised. But you are unlikely to get sincere sympathy from them. Most likely, they will nod their heads politely to your revelations and continue to talk about themselves to their loved ones. So what's the point?
Don't have confidential conversations with them.
These phrases will help put a person with high self-esteem in his place!
9 phrases that will put an arrogant person in his place
You can always find more interesting information and useful tips on our website.
Has it ever happened that when faced with such a person, to his arrogance, you did not have a word and an answer!? And your day and mood were ruined.
Your response to an arrogant person will be a reflection of your integrity, your ability to stand up for yourself.
For some reason, an arrogant person is sure that he is somehow superior to you, although, in fact, we are all equal people, and the difference between us is completely insignificant.
Such people are narcissistic, and most likely suffer from psychological problems:
- They believe that they are special and unique, so they can only be understood by people with a special or high status, with whom they should only communicate.
-Demand excessive admiration for their personality.
- They have an unreasonable belief that everything should happen exactly as they wish or assume.
- Carry out interpersonal exploitation, that is, they use others to achieve their own goals.
- They lack empathy: that is, they are unable to recognize or identify the feelings and needs of other people.
- Show arrogance through arrogant behavior or attitude.
Here are certain phrases that will catch them off guard:
1. - What makes you think so? This phrase is intended to help an arrogant person understand that he is in captivity of stereotypes, that he is simply generalizing everything, as a result of which he will stop speaking in such a way.
2. - Oh-oh-oh! If they hurt someone's feelings, whether they are yours or someone else's, call it like you see it. We are talking about offensive expressions that are used by an arrogant person. And this exclamation will help them realize the harm they are causing.
3. - You know, my mother too... An arrogant person is likely to distinguish groups of people based on race, education received, etc., which allows him to express his negative stereotypes. The whole point is that by humiliating others, an arrogant person tries to elevate himself in comparison with them. Most likely, after this the rude person will apologize, which will be the best way out of the situation for him.
4. - Do you know that there are other points of view? You and everyone else have the right to your own opinion. But arrogant people should understand that their negative comments should not affect other people.
5. - Tell me again, why are you better than him? Arrogant people think they are better than others. So ask them to explain why we should treat these other people differently. He can give quite interesting answers to this, but most likely he will just start squirming. And you will put him in a completely uncomfortable position if you say that he is not higher than other people.
6. - I would be grateful if these were the last words you said on this topic. End this arrogant man's chatter as rudely as he started it. This phrase will put an end to his slander. But, again, an arrogant person, accustomed to hearing only himself. Therefore, you will have to say this in the most intelligible way for him.
7. - Shut up, finally. The easiest way to end a conversation with an arrogant person is to simply walk away. And the best thing is if at the end you say some rather sharp phrase that will make him think.
8. - I'm sure you didn't mean for it to sound so arrogant, right? This phrase conveys good intentions, even if you are not at all sure that the person is so inclined. This formulation actually gives the arrogant person a chance to correct himself, since he will be able to answer that he really did not mean to seem rude.
9 . “Do you realize how arrogant you look when you say things like that?” Point out their arrogant behavior and let them know that you find it completely unacceptable. Psychologists who specialize in studying character say that modest people are not at all concerned with themselves, but arrogant people have an inflated opinion of themselves. Representatives of society with such a character are also characterized by manipulative actions towards other people.
