Signs of self-doubt: gestures that indicate a person with low self-esteem

How to determine your self-esteem

First of all, let's determine your level of self-esteem. For self-diagnosis, psychologists advise doing a simple but effective exercise.

Take a sheet of paper and divide it into two halves with a vertical line. Write “Strengths” on the right and “Weaknesses” on the left. Write 10 points in each half, remembering your positive and negative qualities. You can write down those characteristics that you know, that your colleagues praised, or that your loved ones mentioned.

Then put down your pen and carefully study the resulting list. You, like any other person, have both advantages and disadvantages. Those characteristics of yours that you don’t like (unpunctuality, laziness, touchiness, poor motivation, etc.) reflect your dissatisfaction with yourself. These are the things that you would like to change in yourself, that you are willing to work on. And if you sincerely thought that you were a loser, look at the other half of the sheet.

The right half reflects those of our qualities, abilities and achievements that we are proud of, which are mentioned in the resume and at the interview, as well as those that our relatives speak about with respect. These could be professional skills, hobbies, interests in which you have achieved mastery. For example, you are kind, make excellent soups, speak Italian and are excellent at Photoshop. Even qualities that you think are frivolous can be a reason to increase your self-esteem.

Important

In each of us, advantages are balanced by disadvantages. We are not supermen, but we are not outright losers either. We are just people.

This small exercise is designed to systematize your strengths and weaknesses and adequately assess your capabilities. And to understand that we are all harmonious, there is not only black and only white. If there are weaknesses, then there is a reason for pride.

Crossed arms or legs

Crossed arms are a kind of barrier with which a person tries to protect himself from the outside world. Subconsciously, we strive to protect vital organs - the lungs and heart. In this position, it is more convenient for a person to defend his personal boundaries.

Crossing your legs doesn't have such a deep meaning. This only means that the interlocutor may be unpleasant about a specific topic of conversation.

Appearance

to start changes by transforming your appearance. Try to systematically use face and body scrubs, take a salt bath, and do procedures to combat sebaceous deposits and maintain healthy skin.

Many psychologists advise women to change their hairstyle or image. If you were previously planning to cut your hair into a bob or bob, but you didn’t have the determination, it’s time to do it now. This is not only a change of image, but also an important step towards transformation.

Most girls buy clothes that are out of size, trying to adjust their figure or follow fashion. You shouldn’t do this, things should fit your figure perfectly: if clothes don’t restrict your movements and you feel comfortable when moving, then intuitively you begin to behave more relaxed and confident.

The feeling that we look neat and well-groomed eliminates many complexes. For example, if you didn’t have time to iron your shirt before going out, this will create serious discomfort for the whole day.

What does a confident woman look like?

Avoids initiative

This is due to the fact that a girl who does not have self-confidence is afraid of responsibility. Such a person will believe that she is not suitable for serious matters, which may not live up to the expectations of her superiors or colleagues. Even if such a lady gets down to business, she will bring everything to perfection and will reproach herself for the slightest mistakes.

You need to work on self-confidence. The sooner this work begins, the easier it will be to change and believe in yourself. If you manage to overcome uncertainty, then many things will go uphill, everything will work out in all areas of life.

Photo: Pixabay

Causes of low self-esteem

A person's self-esteem is formed at the very beginning of life. At birth, we acquire certain external characteristics and social status.

Based on this, we can identify the main reasons for low self-esteem:

1. Family education. Young children form an opinion about themselves based on the assessment of those around them, especially their family and friends. Insufficient attention and lack of parental love negatively affects children. Constant punishments and comparisons with other children discourage self-confidence. A child surrounded by care and respect in the family feels confident and self-sufficient. Experts insist that the family is the center of a child’s development and the key to his successful implementation in life. Inactivity, inertia, loss of cheerfulness, uncertainty and other indicators, they all stem from the attitudes of parents. From childhood, a child is “programmed” for an “unhealthy” state in society, because character is formed from birth.
2. Psychological trauma. Every child experiences failure sometimes. The attitude towards such situations is formed according to the reaction and opinion of the parents. Excessive criticism from adults discourages action. Instills feelings of guilt and dissatisfaction with oneself. The everyday problems of parents should not be transferred to the child. By blaming her for your own failures, you will develop a complex and withdrawn personality.

   There are only four reasons

3. Parents' way of life. Until a certain age, parents are role models. Lack of initiative parental behavior leads to passivity and uncertainty in children. By making efforts for the effectiveness and success of our child, we form in him correct self-esteem and lay leadership qualities.
4. Defective appearance and health characteristics. Very often, children's non-standard appearance becomes a reason for ridicule. The correct attitude of parents does not exclude a ruthless environment. Lack of communication with peers and offensive nicknames exacerbate the feeling of one’s own inferiority and lead to isolation - peers are very often merciless towards such external shortcomings of others. Deviations in health make the child vulnerable and susceptible to criticism.

How to deal with low self-esteem

So, by conducting tests you can understand how much you underestimate yourself. Life with such feelings becomes very difficult. What to do about it?

First of all, remember our leaflet with a list of advantages and disadvantages. Please read it carefully. All the characteristics recorded on it are you, your personality. With all the pros and cons, skills and problems, freckles, smile, weight... Think about it.

Important

Try to realize your integrity, only then can you accept yourself completely.

Start with what you are strong at. If you make wonderful pies, bake and treat them to your colleagues, neighbors and relatives. If you knit, knit things for sale, you can sell through friends or via the Internet. You have good diction - narrate an audiobook. The main idea of ​​these actions is to get as many people as possible to appreciate your positive traits. When we are praised and admired, our self-esteem grows.

Try to smile more often. Smiling will set you up for positive emotions and relieve anxiety, thereby helping you gain confidence. In a calm, upbeat mood, it is much easier to believe in yourself.

Watch your gait. Try to straighten your shoulders while walking, keep your back straight, and lift your chin. Take medium-sized, energetic, clear steps. Practice this gait - this is how confident people walk.

We need to stop being afraid. Every person has his own opinion, but not everyone keeps it to themselves. If you are afraid of what others will say, you need to distance yourself from their opinions. You are you. And what Maria Aristarkhovna from the house opposite thinks about you is absolutely none of your concern. It is not necessary to react to every judgment expressed and rush to implement it. You have your own life and your own interests. Fulfilling other people's expectations is not part of your mission.

Don't beat yourself up for mistakes. As they say, only those who do nothing make no mistakes. If you made a mistake, don't panic. Think about the erroneous situation, analyze it, correct it. That's all! Move on, don't dwell on it.

Important

If you can’t improve your self-esteem on your own, contact a specialist.

Signs of insecurity

First, let's find out what an insecure woman looks like - there are several very specific signs:

• avoiding problems . Throughout life, a person encounters problems, some prefer to avoid them, while others prefer to overcome them;
• self-affirmation at the expense of the weak . This is familiar to many from childhood - probably in kindergarten and at school there was a company that put itself above others and imposed its values ​​on the weak;

Signs of insecurity

• fear of expressing one's own opinion . There is no need to impose your opinion on others, but if you are asked about something, try to clearly formulate your thoughts and argue your position. We are intuitively attracted to people with their own opinions, keep this in mind;
• dependence on surrounding opinion . A confident woman is not afraid of public opinion and criticism; this will not affect her emotional state;
• fear of solving complex problems . Since school, we are taught to avoid mistakes, and when life requires us to make serious decisions, we are afraid of making mistakes.

For a confident woman, mistakes are another opportunity to improve.

UTILITY

1. Benefit people

Try to help people more. Give it away. I'm not talking about money now. I'm talking about actions. When you do something good for others, your self-esteem increases. Start small: call your parents, do something nice for them. Or do something that is not difficult for you, but necessary for those around you.

It is not at all necessary to tell everyone about this; we are not engaged in self-promotion. It is important that you know what and how much you have done.

How to behave in communication?

From communicating with a person, you can understand who he feels like and how confident he is:

1. No matter what kind of company you are in, always speak clearly and loudly enough, but never shout at people.
2. When communicating, keep your posture straight and do not lower your eyes to the floor - you need to look at the interlocutor.
3. Always treat staff in cafes and other establishments with respect. An insecure or overly self-confident woman may try to belittle the waiter and assert herself at his expense. If he brought someone else's dish or made another mistake, try to respond appropriately to this. Then others will begin to be drawn to you and look at your personality differently.

Confidence is both proper upbringing and respect for people