Life, like a zebra, has alternating black and white stripes: then everything goes well, and then troubles begin in everything, then everything gets better again... and so on! However, such a period also comes: everything seems to be in order, luck is with you, there are no troubles, but something is constantly tormenting you from the inside, as if gnawing at you. At this time, what you liked before is no longer at all pleasing, and even more so - it causes disgust and irritation, the mood is lousy.
This is not how depression manifests itself at all, but a psychological crisis that can overtake any person at any age who is completely healthy in the mental and physical sense. This is a transitional state, quite severe, caused by intrapersonal conflicts (internal dissatisfaction) or life situations (certain events). Treatment of a psychological crisis is possible and necessary.
The concept of “crisis” comes from the word kreses, which is translated from Greek as “division of roads”, “turning point”. And the Chinese character denoting this concept is translated in two ways: both “opportunity” and “danger”. That is, the crisis can be considered a turning point in human life, changing it completely, turning the usual way of life “upside down.” His appearance is a great opportunity to change something radically, for the better.
What is a crisis and why - it is a gift of life
We all face grief, loss. This is not necessarily a deceased loved one, it is also a separation, a clash with age, and sometimes it is a deceased self. There are a lot of losses in life. When we choose something, we always lose something. People often talk about the “torment” of choice; in fact, a person suffers from what he has lost or rejected. We encounter the experience of suffering and mental pain in situations of various crises that our life presents.
I say “gives” without an ironic connotation: crises are a gift, but we don’t always know how to deal with them correctly.
True, today the very word “crisis” has become a cliche. Psychologists often encounter the fact that behind “crisis”, “stress”, “trauma” or “depression” there may be completely different things.
In this sense, it is important to understand that a crisis arises when a person as a whole (soul, body and system of relations with the outside world) is involved and must meet this “challenge of fate.” When everything inside me shakes, I shake, “pin” and “sausage” - this is called a crisis state. According to the classical definition, a psychological crisis is a sharp discrepancy between the needs and abilities of the human body, on the one hand, and the requirements and expectations of the outside world and the environment, on the other. This environment demands something from us, challenges us for which we are not ready. The abilities of a newborn baby are clearly not enough to organize his own existence in the world. The environment sends a demand to “survive”: we need you in our family, we need you in our society, our culture, and so on. On the one hand, there is this “survive - you are needed”, and on the other hand, there is a situation of helplessness. This is a typical picture of any crisis.
Psychological crises of age: periods
As already mentioned, an age-related psychological crisis awaits each of us more than once. It leads to psychological breakdowns, re-evaluation of the life lived, and opens up new opportunities. This cup will not pass away from anyone: such a crossroads of fate is inevitable for any person, regardless of his will and desires.
The first crisis comes in one year. The baby develops an opinion about the world, he decides whether the people nearby deserve his love, and everything around him deserves his trust.
The next crisis is at the age of three. Children begin to demonstrate their character, their personality.
At 7 years old, a child defines himself in society. This period is very important, but difficult. The little man begins to consider himself someone who deserves attention and praise, but, in the event of unsuccessful communication with peers, he acquires an inferiority complex.
The crisis of 12-14 years is associated with a teenager’s awareness of his gender. He is trying to prove to his parents his “adulthood”, independence and right to freedom. Any restrictions are perceived with hostility by him.
18-20 years old is the age of parting with childhood, when the understanding comes that now you need to fight for your place in life.
The crisis at 27-29 years old occurs against the backdrop of a comparison between dreams and existing reality, which, alas, quite rarely coincides. It is at this time that a person can very dramatically change his personal life and profession.
35-37 years old is a well-known midlife crisis. During this period, there is a reassessment of values, one’s achievements, and the setting of life priorities.
The pre-retirement age crisis occurs at the age of 53-55. It is very difficult to survive, because a person’s status and financial situation changes, and he loses his attractiveness.
At the age of 65 and beyond, people “gather” their achievements together, as if preparing for another world. But they are completely free in their personal lives, needs, and creativity. Many great composers created their best works at a very old age, and scientists made outstanding discoveries.
Crisis: danger + opportunity
They say that in Chinese the word “crisis” is represented by two characters, one of which means danger and the other means opportunity.
I think in any crisis these two zones can be distinguished. A crisis is not a state that lasts for minutes, days or even weeks. It takes us a lot of energy to overcome it, and time is important for us to do this.
In 1917, Sigmund Freud’s short article “Sadness and Melancholia” was published, which, in my opinion, was epoch-making for the development of crisis psychology. Freud introduced an important concept - “grief work”, which later expanded and became known as “crisis work”. Freud meant that in order to live through grief, a crisis, one must do work that no one except the person himself can do. He may have a psychological escort, a psychologist-consultant, voluntary assistants and volunteers, even a spiritual mentor or guru - it doesn’t matter who it is, the important thing is that a person can be accompanied along the path of grief, but the work itself is the fruit of personal efforts.
Personal crises
Everything was fine, and then - out of the blue - something happened inside, it seemed to break, and everything went downhill...
This is a personal crisis.
Film "What Men Talk About"
A personal crisis is when you no longer want anything, not even to understand yourself and your relationships.
Personality crises are medium-term (from a week to a year), without obvious external causes, periodically occurring temporary personal ill health, which is explained by the peculiarities of the internal dynamics of a person’s personal development.
Let us remember that personal ill-health is a problematic state of inability to develop in the same way. These are blocks on the path of development, loss of development guidelines, a return to more primitive patterns of behavior, moments of personal degradation.
In Russia, “personal crises” are usually understood simultaneously as “psychological crises”, that is, not just blocks on the path of development, but also mental illness, mental problems of a person. Most likely, such word usage is associated with the peculiarities of Russian culture: the mass negativism of the population makes this a reality.
Personal crises of men and women
According to descriptions, personal crises are predominantly common among men; in any case, the crises of men and women have their differences. During personal crises, men, more often than women, experience despair, aggression towards others and themselves, and are also more fixated on bodily sensations; while women are more likely to report feelings of loneliness and fear of being alone. The experience of “I’m getting old and no one needs me” is often a female theme. Women in crisis more often complain about the injustice of life, men reflect on its meaning and the meaning of their own existence. Men experience a crisis period more severely and are more likely to commit suicide. It has also been noticed that even if a woman experiences a crisis more difficult, she objectively comes out of the crisis easier.
Personal crisis or “the man is making a fool”?
The concept of “personal crisis” was formed within the framework of the psychodynamic approach, and is currently actively used as a calming explanation for neuroses, the ongoing inappropriate and problematic behavior of adults.
They used to say condemningly: “The man is making a fool!” Now they shake their heads knowingly: “The man is having an age crisis.” Cm.
It is appropriate and moderate to use this concept - it is useful, just as you once explained to small children: “It’s not you who is rowdy, it’s the rowdy spirit that has taken possession of you.” However, no one will attribute all children's actions to rowdy behavior, especially when they become ordinary ongoing hooliganism.
If a woman is worried, aggressively blames herself and her husband when he suddenly reaches out to restaurants and leftist women, then to reduce her aggression, perhaps she should explain her husband’s behavior as “He is having a personal crisis.” A calmer, more understanding attitude will create opportunities for more adequate and balanced actions by a woman, creating better preconditions for a man’s return to the family and an end to alcoholism.
On the other hand, the psychotherapeutic tendency to believe that crises are inevitable in the life of any adult is alarming, almost an indicator that he is still developing, that you will definitely have crises at intervals (let’s say) every six months - with the natural conclusion “surely” go see a therapist." These are already harmful suggestions and a manifestation of sick psychotherapy.
The opinion that personal crises necessarily accompany personal growth and development is nothing more than a myth. Whether it is possible in principle to talk about the personal crises of a small child is a separate and not simple question. Developmental crises may not be accompanied by personal crises; in any case, a lot depends on the atmosphere of the family where the child grows and develops.
As for the life of an adult, the process of his growth and development can proceed in a completely healthy way, as planned, without being accompanied by personal crises. There is no evidence to suggest that personality crises are an essential part of the life and personal development of every adult. Whether certain stages of development of an adult personality will be accompanied by personal crises - depression, alcoholism, problematic leaving the family - depends on the degree of readiness of a person for these new stages in his life. A personal crisis is not an indicator of growing up, but of a person’s unpreparedness for change.
Personality crises and the birth of personality
Personality crises can be considered as a certain stage in personality development, however:
- studies show that a positive assessment of the results of a crisis for an individual (rethinking life, opening new horizons) is quite rare, no more than 5% (V.V. Kozlov. Personal crisis - structural and gender characteristics. https://www.zi- kozlov.ru/articles/1120-personalitycrisis).
- It is necessary to take into account that a personal crisis is the result of personality development based on negative motivation, and it is more preferable to develop not a positive attitude towards personal crises, but to orient people toward positive motivation in their personal growth and development. Look
It seems that with each new birth a more developed personality may be born. The first birth of a personality, the second birth... Or - after going through a crisis, a personality can break down and degrade. The first death of personality, the second death...
Psychological assistance during a personal crisis
Psychological assistance in case of a personal crisis can be in the form of psychological consultation, and in the mode of operational psychotherapy, and result in psychotherapeutic counseling. Fairytale therapy helps women well, while men find meaning in life and real life goals. Cm.
What to do if you feel like you're having a personal crisis?
If you are stuck, have lost your bearings, but your head is in place and your soul is generally in order - so far everything is in order. If you realized that you were developing in the wrong direction, you can be glad that it has finally become clear. Now you can adjust your path in life and move on cheerfully.
Why cheerful? - Why do it differently?
And to adjust your life path, you need to take the following steps: 1) go for a walk and think about what you should do in life; 2) set reasonable goals and decide what needs to be done to achieve this; 3) in particular, decide on your lifestyle and, probably, make it healthier. Look at the Wheel of Life - there are useful tips there.
If a personal crisis has developed into a mental, psychological crisis, then do not rush to worry, do not rush to emotional conclusions. Better yet, start taking action. Cm.
Phases of crisis
There are main phases in the “work” of a crisis.
The first thing the body encounters is news of a crisis , which either comes from within us, or, conversely, is sent to us by the environment. I have no strength, no opportunities, and fate sends me an almost unbearable challenge.
Naturally, the first thing I do is start to defend myself and fall into a state of shock. Mechanisms of repression and denial operate: “No, this can’t be!” The meaning of this shock is so that a person can accumulate strength and energy. A person is lazy by nature, he doesn’t even like good work that brings him money, and even if the work is associated with living through suffering... You can get stuck in this phase of shock, then the line of development of the crisis will be greatly slowed down and the crisis will transform into trauma. Therefore, it is important to move the person a little to avoid shock.
When we come out of shock, the first signs associated with the need to respond to aggression begin to appear. It grows, turns into anger, anger or rage - you want to destroy the whole world. Sometimes a lot of energy is invested in protesting against the injustice of fate.
Following the phase of anger-powerlessness, a phase of experiencing or a phase of suffering . The life horizon begins to “clear”, the situation associated with a crisis, loss or loss acquires unbearable clarity.
Suffering can be divided into two parts . On the one hand, this is bodily suffering. Probably everyone has experienced grief and felt what bodily suffering is. Even the memory of a past crisis makes you take a deep breath - this is a remnant of a bodily experience. Without experiencing bodily suffering, we become robots with a well-developed cognitive function, a wonderful, as Fritz Perls said, “anxious automaton” that reasons well, understands everything, can make a rational diagnosis, but lives without feeling any joy. And the person turns into the head of Professor Dowell or appears in the form of pure Kantian reason. Alexander Lowen called “betrayal of the body” a state in which the soul “splits off” from the body. This is wrong - it is important to pay attention to the “I am suffering” signal that our body sends. There is a second part - mental suffering, its axial symptom is pain, which is called spiritual, mental, existential.
Characteristics of a psychological crisis
Practicing psychologists around the world have long been studying and describing life crises, but it is useful for every ordinary person to know about them in order to understand their condition at a certain period. Let's try to talk about this without getting too carried away with scientific terms.
In addition to differences in crises in intensity and duration, they can also be caused by various reasons related to psychological processes, which experts call experiences. The latter have the following goals:
• experience satisfaction right now;
• ensure orderliness in your world;
• motivated to implement any activity;
• become more perfect, grow as a person.
If any of the above points cannot be fulfilled, then a psychological crisis of a certain type occurs:
1. Crisis of pleasure. A person wants to get positive from something, but bad experiences and difficulties interfere, becoming a tragedy. In this case, a psychological defense mechanism is triggered, replacing or distorting reality, blocking consciousness.
2. Frustration (derived from the Latin “frustration, futile expectations”) - a state in which you want to achieve a goal, but biological (age), physical (prison walls, borders), cultural (social norms), psychological ( fear of lack of intelligence) barriers.
3. A value crisis implies a struggle between motive and personal value system, between which the individual cannot make a choice, a collapse of the value system.
4. Holistic crisis - loss of will as a mechanism that ensures correspondence and agreement between theoretical and practical consciousness, the desire for creativity disappears.
Crises of psychological development have their own stages:
• primary manifestations of tension and attempts to solve problems in the usual ways;
• tension increases when attempts to relieve it fail;
• the voltage is increasing, requiring the connection of both internal and external energy sources;
• the occurrence of depression, anxiety, complete helplessness, loss of strength and hopelessness to correct the situation. Next comes disorganization of the personality.
A person’s behavior changes; in addition to depression, he may experience loneliness or any destructive feeling (anger, irritability, suspiciousness, stubbornness, etc.). Moreover, the crisis can end at any stage if a solution is found or the problem disappears.
Mental pain: localization through externalization
The founder of modern suicidology, Edwin Shneidman, said that mental pain is metapain, pain from the awareness of pain. In the inner world there are no partitions, there are no systems or organs - our entire inner world, our entire soul, hurts. It is impossible to hide, to hide, except by forcibly turning off consciousness, for example by getting drunk or committing suicide. Mental pain indicates very strong emotional stress, accumulated emotional experiences: horror, fear, anxiety, melancholy, despair - experiences that reach the level of affect and are manifested by this effect of pain. To make this unbearableness bearable, it is first very important to tell someone about your pain. Turn it into a story, a narrative. The sign is always limited.
Our inner world is always limitless. And when we talk about pain, the story itself localizes it, it ceases to be equal to the entire inner world . Once I can somehow designate pain, it becomes semantic, taken out, becomes a phenomenon of contact - which reduces unbearable tension.
There is no “big green pill” for suffering, there are tranquilizers that just numb the pain. Having designated pain, we write some line in the “text of experience” and, accordingly, we are faced with our attitude. If I begin to relate to the pain, the pain ceases to be me. If I start to reflect, the pain decreases.
Mental pain is two-faced - it is not only a signal of the limit of endurance, it is also a signal of what is being experienced. We do not perceive values that do not hurt as values. The side of mental pain associated with the experience of values leads us to a resource.
Causes
This state does not suddenly appear out of nowhere. As a rule, it is preceded by some events that the person cannot cope with. The result is general dissatisfaction, apathy and reluctance to move on. Let's take a closer look at why we are sometimes overwhelmed by anxiety, hopelessness and despair.
Expectations mismatch
Our daily hopes are often not met. This is not surprising, because life does not stand still. If you had a great desire, but you failed to realize it, then a feeling of dissatisfaction appears inside. It can eventually lead to an acute crisis. The only question is how the individual himself will relate to his condition and whether he will want to change it. It should be taken into account that significant changes are useful for personal development only if they lead him to his cherished goal. If there is a discrepancy between expectations, this is not a reason to despair and give up.
Age-related changes
Once we reach a certain age, we begin to feel the need for change. Completely different values than existed before this moment begin to come to the fore. Human life crises constantly replace each other. It is impossible to hide from them or hide behind old beliefs. Sometimes stereotypes greatly interfere with development, but the individual is still forced to go through some tests. It is difficult to imagine a life in which there would be no movement and no aspirations forward.
Need for change
We all feel from time to time that we need to push the boundaries of our capabilities. For example, it’s time to get a new job, but a person experiences a strong fear of action, and therefore does not know what to do. In this case, an ambivalent state occurs, which is characterized by severe anxiety. The need for change is strong in every individual. But the problem is that not everyone has tolerance, perseverance and a certain courage. Very often we give in to difficulties, without having time to understand what is happening, without comprehending what exactly is happening to us.
Mental Pain Resources
When I started conducting a workshop on the resources of mental pain, many colleagues angrily said: “Pain is when the soul is torn apart, and mental pain has no resources.” If we look a little deeper and see “for whom the bell tolls”, for whom or what our soul aches, then inevitably in our mind we will find the value that we have taken out of use.
The main thing that brings us pain and any negative emotions in general is feedback - a kind of signpost for the road. In this regard, the value of any negative emotions and experiences is much higher than the value of positive ones. The latter seem to say: “Everything is fine. Keep up the good work." This doesn't always turn out well. The system is deprived of guidelines that would allow it to be corrected. Examples of such positive feedback: paranoia and a permissive style of raising a child (no matter what the child does, everything is right). And negative feedback is a signal of a deviation that needs to be eliminated. Carrying out the work of the crisis, we move to the next phase, it is called the phase of integration, recovery, reconstruction. The crisis begins to turn into a past life event. This transformation of a crisis into a story about oneself is a rather long process.
A person must learn to live again, rebuild the destroyed world and look for an integrating basis in order to build it according to the changed life. As a rule, we find this basis not in books and films, not from authorities. We find it under our feet.
Tell yourself: “I understand that I am suffering, that I am in a lot of pain right now, and I understand that I am now thinking about what happened. But besides this, there is simply my life, and I continue, perhaps unconsciously, to invest my strength in something.” What? This is what the world is reassembling around . Pay attention not to what is convex, but to the ordinary facts of existence. Simple things. I continue to feed my children, take care of my loved ones, and walk my dog. I can suffer, howl, work with a psychotherapist, remain silent, drive myself into a funnel of trauma, but there are things that I continue to do. Life gathers around what we continue to invest our strength in, no matter what .”
Author: Alexander Mokhovikov
The concept of crisis in psychology
Definition A sharp change in conditions, a transition to gaining new experience and the so-called turning point in psychology is usually called a crisis.
A psychological crisis can be caused by two groups of reasons:
- internal,
- external.
Each person has ideas about himself, about other people and about the world around him, so a sharp change in ideas leads a person to a state of crisis. A qualitative leap can be carried out gradually, but internal energy is spent on understanding the current situation and adapting to new conditions. Over time, reserves are depleted and a crisis ensues. In this regard, changes may not be objective in nature and may be caused by the individual’s self-reflection, a change in self-image and a radical adjustment of views. A person may have a need for some new model of behavior that is not typical for him, and the process of entering a new role is quite traumatic. The unknown, unfamiliarity, and uncertainty encourage thoughts to constantly wander, fear grows and becomes attached to new situations. Therefore, even positive internal changes are often fraught with stress, because they also mark the beginning of a new stage.
External conditions are easier to imagine - it could be a conversation with someone, some situation in everyday life, the influence of the environment or a change in circumstances. A person needs to live up to his role in the eyes of society, and this constrains him from realizing his own desires. When a person replaces outdated roles, full of determination and considering himself independent of other people's opinions, there is always a risk of being misunderstood and rejected, which contributes to the crisis.
