With the help of Allan Pease's book "The New Body Language" you can learn to understand how your interlocutor really feels, what emotions he is experiencing, whether he is telling the truth, whether he is in the mood for communication or is treating you down. The book gives an understanding that it is not always important to just listen. This is your little handheld lie detector.
Lie Research
Lies are least noticeable in those areas of communication that are amenable to human control. For example, in words. You can rehearse your deception in advance, and your words will sound quite convincing. In order to detect a lie, you need to pay attention to the gestures that a person makes automatically, since they are almost beyond control. Lies are always accompanied by minor gestures, since the liar is in an excited, emotional state.
A person tries with all his might to hide a lie, and most often uses his face to do this.
We smile, we nod, we blink, but unfortunately for us, other body language signals conflict with our facial expressions. The relationship of emotions is constantly reflected on our faces, but we are mostly unaware of it. Such a discrepancy reveals the emotional conflict experienced by the person.
You need to analyze, and at the moment when someone is telling something, you need to listen carefully to the interlocutor in a relaxed state and observe his body movements.
By the way, try not to eat at business meetings, because food distracts you from your interlocutor. Watch carefully how his hands move away from his face, facial moments.
The truth is somewhere on the left
A person may be overtly or covertly tense. To determine this, look carefully at the person’s left side. From a neurophysiological point of view, control over the left half is less strong than over the right. The brain, with its left and right hemispheres, controls the sides of the body differently.
- Speech, intelligence, and the ability to do mathematics are the domain of the left hemisphere.
- Imagination, emotions, abstract thinking are the work of the right hemisphere.
- Management occurs generally in the form of crossing. The left hemisphere is the right side of the body, and the right hemisphere is the left side.
For example, we communicate with a right-handed person. During the conversation, he gesticulates vigorously, using his left hand. It is very likely that this is a liar. This is most pronounced if the right hand is almost not involved in the matter. If such a discrepancy is observed, the person is definitely not sincere. If the same disorder is observed in the face, i.e. the left or right half is more active, perhaps also a lie. Particular attention should be paid to the left side.
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Why is it so difficult to lie?
Most people believe that when a person lies, he smiles more often than usual. However, research shows that the opposite is true. Liars smile less often.
Lying is difficult because our subconscious mind acts automatically, regardless of verbal expressions. Body language immediately gives away a lie. As soon as a person begins to lie, his body sends conflicting signals, which makes the interlocutor feel as if he is being lied to. At such moments, the subconscious releases nervous energy, which manifests itself in the form of gestures that contradict words. Professional liars: politicians, lawyers, actors and TV presenters, perfect their gestures so that it is difficult to detect their lies.
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The most common gestures of deception
Covering your mouth
The hand covers the mouth, as if the brain is subconsciously trying to suppress the utterance of false words. If your interlocutor covers his mouth when you speak, it means that he thinks that you are deceiving him. At this moment, try asking your interlocutor to speak out.
By the way, this is the most unpleasant gesture that a person speaking in public can see.
Lies are annoying
If you notice that your interlocutor has turned pale or, on the contrary, turned pink during communication, and there is also a slight twitching of the facial muscles, as well as eyelids or eyebrows, they may also be lying to you. If you see that the interlocutor closes his eyes, squints or blinks often, then he is trying to unconsciously abstract himself from the topic of conversation. The comfort or lack thereof of the interlocutor can be judged by the pupils. Usually, as a result of various discontent, they narrow.
The pupil reacts to pleasure by dilating. If your eyes are averted to the side, you are not necessarily a liar. But if they look directly into your eyes, too persistently, this is already a sign of insincerity.
Lie detector
You can casually notice in a conversation that they studied how to recognize a lie by their eyes and gestures. After such a statement, your interlocutor is unlikely to feel safe and even if he risks telling a lie, he will be very worried and intensely give non-verbal signals: scratching the back of his head, touching his nose, covering his mouth with his hand, straightening his tie, blinking hard.
Another sign is that your opponent begins to place objects between you (glasses, a napkin, a telephone, an ashtray), as if building a barrier to hide from your exposure.
A lie on the tip of your nose
It's interesting that your own nose can give you away. If you see how, while communicating with you, a person twitches the tip of his nose or moves it to the side, you should think about the sincerity of the interlocutor’s words. If someone flares their nostrils when communicating with you, you should think about the fact that they don’t really believe you.
It's funny, but it is the nose that is especially sensitive to lies. It may itch and change in size (the so-called “Pinocchio effect”). All this is scientifically based, since lying causes blood pressure to rise, which in turn affects the nasal mucosa by producing the hormone catecholamine. Next, the nerve endings stimulated by blood pressure are included in the process and itching appears. If the interlocutor rubs his nose, eyes, or simply touches them, he may not be honest with you.
Observe behavior
How does a person behave when communicating? Does he stand calmly or does he constantly change his position, fidget in his chair, shift from foot to foot, or quietly take a step back? By these gestures, you can clearly recognize the interlocutor’s desire to distance himself from your questions, so as not to give away unnecessary information and not be exposed as a lie.
To relax a person's guard, start with a couple of casual questions. Ask his opinion about the weather, exchange rates, find out what movies he prefers and where he vacationed during his last vacation. Then casually throw him a trick question on a topic that interests you.
For example, if a person introduces himself to you as the head of a large company, you can ask him: “Is it hard to be in a leadership position? Tell us, in what mode does the work process take place?” If your interlocutor tenses up, changes his face and behavior, he is most likely nervous and deliberately lied about his situation.
Did you wash your hands?
If, when communicating with you, the interlocutor tries to put his hands in his pocket or close his palms, we can with a certain degree of confidence assume that he is hiding something. This feature is most pronounced in children.
Hiding your palms or keeping them open can be used against you even in a regular market. An experienced salesperson can see how your palms are positioned when you refuse a purchase and can understand how much you really need it. If you cover your mouth with your hand, then here we see a desire not to blurt out too much. This may be indicated by tension in the mouth muscles, as well as lip biting.
Posture is very important in determining a person's honesty. Let's say you observe a person in a tense or uncomfortable position. He can constantly squirm, trying to make himself more comfortable. This means that the topic of conversation is bothering him and he may not agree with it. Liars can lean and cross their legs. Usually, if a person is truthful, then his posture is relaxed and comfortable.
Trick questions
We must learn to come up with and ask a question in such a way that an honest person does not notice any suspicions about him, while a liar, on the contrary, realizes that he has been figured out.
For example, “my friend is dating a girl, but he also goes on dates with other women. Tell me how I should react to this behavior of his?” Any man will be happy to express his point of view; but the one who lied to you will regard it as a provocation and a sign that he was caught. Instead of practical advice, he will laugh it off and become noticeably nervous.
Everybody lies
Have you come across a phrase like “honestly speaking” and what follows in conversation? It’s worth taking a closer look at the person at the moment of its utterance. When certain patterns are repeated, it is worth questioning the speaker’s honesty. For example, phrases such as:
- You must believe me...
- I'm telling the truth, believe me...
- Can I cheat? Never!
- I'm being one hundred percent honest with you!
Often it doesn’t even matter what a person says. What matters is how he does it. The timbre of the voice, its rhythm, if it suddenly changes, may indicate insincerity or lies. If the interlocutor hesitates or finds it difficult to pronounce the next phrase, be wary.
Typically, gesticulation allows us to convey to our interlocutor a more amplified version of what we said. As a rule, the tempo of such gestures and speech are in accordance. If you see a discrepancy between one and the other, you should think about it. This means that what a person thinks is not necessarily what he says.
Let's say you want to catch a person cheating. To do this, it is worth taking some steps. You need to get into the same rhythm with him, adjust, so it will be more difficult for him to lie to you. There is no need to directly accuse a person of lying. It’s best to pretend that you didn’t hear the words and let him repeat himself. This will give you a better chance of telling the truth.
Direct questions are best. Facial expressions and gestures directed at the interlocutor will force him to react accordingly. And a few more facts about lying. Typically, people lie on the phone about 37 percent of the time. Personal conversations account for 27 percent, the Internet 21 percent, and about 14 percent lies in emails.
If a person is more sociable, most likely he also lies more. Regardless of gender, people lie about equally often. However, the essence of lies varies. Women try to relax their interlocutor by lying, and men use lies to assert themselves. A person is not born a liar, but acquires this ability only by the age of three or four years from birth.
How to recognize deception in body language and facial expressions
A sharp knife won't hurt you like a lie will hurt you like vile gossip.
Brant S.
The human body is perfect and obeys its owner,
however, even the most persistent person is not able to fully control his emotions, which are expressed in gestures and facial expressions. If you know this language, it will not be difficult to recognize deception
But at the same time, you need to take into account that no two people are the same and, since we lie in different ways, everyone has their own facial expressions. Deception can be noticed and recognized when it is emotional. Emotions contribute to a more active manifestation of facial expressions, but confirmation of deception, which requires tension and self-control, must be sought in the combination of speech, gestures and facial expressions.
Hidden or obvious tension can be noticed if you look closely at the left side of the body , which is less controlled by the brain than the right. The left hemisphere powers the mind and is responsible for speech, while the right hemisphere is responsible for imagination and emotions. Due to the fact that both hemispheres work simultaneously, the right hemisphere is reflected in the work of the left side of the body, and the left hemisphere is reflected in the work of the right.
Insincerity is most often indicated by inconsistency in the actions of body parts. The face is also forced to show dual emotions: those that a person seeks to show, and those that he wants to hide. Therefore, the language of facial expressions and gestures looks asymmetrical. A typical example is when a person smiles from only one corner of his mouth. The most curious thing is that negative emotions are more noticeable on the left side of the face, while positive ones are reflected evenly.
Deception causes tension, which causes certain changes in facial expressions. The complexion changes, individual muscles tense, which can cause the eyelid, eyebrow to twitch, and the corners of the lips to tighten. Also, a person may unconsciously reach for his face, try to rub the tip of his nose, his eyes, as if on a subconscious level, closing himself off from what is happening.
You can understand how comfortable the interlocutor feels by looking at the pupils of his eyes : if they are actively moving, the person is going to lie, although with proper self-control this sign may not work. The same applies to averting the eyes, which is most often perceived as a sign of deception. Constriction of the pupils indicates dissatisfaction.
Facial expressions and lying gestures are closely related. When deceiving, a person may unconsciously hide his hands in his pockets or behind his back, or, conversely, actively gesticulate.
can confirm or refute the deception . The more unnatural it is, the more uncomfortable the current situation is for him. This is also indicated by frequent changes of posture and attempts to find a more comfortable position.
Movements. A person who tells the truth leans towards the interlocutor, a liar, on the contrary, moves away. During communication, many people unconsciously use mirroring - they repeat the gestures of their counterparts. When a person lies, this subconscious reaction is suppressed. Restless hand position (smoothing hair, adjusting a tie, wanting to squeeze something) also reveals a liar.
Speech accompanies facial expressions and gestures. Evasive answers to the questions posed, tongue-tiedness, additional phrases such as “ honestly”, “you can trust me”, “I am absolutely frank with you” - all this only emphasizes insincerity.
9 lying gestures
Before you begin to consider gestures with which you can identify a liar, it is necessary to clarify that the information is valid in two directions, that is, if a person listens to another person lying and at the same time covers his mouth, this can serve as clear evidence of his distrust of the interlocutor’s words.
1 gesture – Covering your mouth with your hand
The most dangerous picture for a person speaking in front of an audience is that all his listeners have their hands to their mouths. You can get out of the situation by asking the listeners about their objections, but this method is suitable if you are confident in the reliability of the information or can answer questions in such a way as to regain confidence in yourself.
An attempt to cover your mouth with your hand in a conversation with one to three people will be less expressive than in the previous case. The hand at the mouth of your interlocutors will last no more than a couple of seconds. It is possible to say with certainty that this is a lie only based on the context; in addition to a lie, this gesture may indicate doubt, uncertainty or exaggeration of real facts.
Gesture 2 – Protect your mouth with your hand.
This gesture differs from the previous one in its greater expressiveness. The hand covers the mouth while the thumb is pressed to the cheek. In this case, the duration of the gesture can be quite long or even from the beginning to the end of the conversation. Variations in gestures can indicate how much the listener does not trust his interlocutor. Depending on the position of the hand - for example, a fist completely covering the mouth, the gesture may indicate that the liar has completely failed, or that his speech is not at all what the interlocutor was expecting. Inappropriate coughing while covering your mouth with your fist may indicate an attempt to hide the gesture in question.
Gesture 3 – touching the nose.
A gesture that everyone has heard about and often interprets as a clear sign of deception. But it's not that simple. First, it is worth saying that as such, touching the nose while deceiving (or listening to an obvious lie) will be subtle (unlike simply scratching the nose). Secondly, touching the nose itself, while lying, is a disguise of the two previous gestures. Thirdly, it will be much more difficult to expose a woman in a lie, since women make this movement much more carefully, so as not to smear their lipstick. And fourthly, in addition to lying, this gesture can be made when negative thoughts appear. That is, the person is not necessarily deceiving; maybe the news he is talking about is not desirable for him and he does not want to report it. Therefore, we remind you again - do not forget about the context.
Gesture 4 – Rubbing the eyelid.
The desire to hide and distance oneself from deception leads to the appearance of this gesture. By the way, just like the desire not to look into the eyes of a person who is being told a lie. The gesture is quite obvious, but sometimes it can be difficult to notice. Again, the difference in the performance of this gesture by a man and a woman is evident. Women are again saved by makeup; to preserve it, the gesture is transformed into a careful providence of a finger under the eye, although at the same time they will have to sharply turn their gaze upward. It is easier to catch a man; if the lie is very serious, then the excitement will force him to vigorously rub his eyelid, while his gaze will be directed either to the side or to the floor.
Gesture 5 – Clenched teeth
Probably not quite a gesture, but rather a technique to “play to the public.” Speaking through clenched teeth is the main technique of actors that helps to show the insincerity of their characters. For example, when cops in films arrest criminals, they don’t very politely read them their rights.
Gesture 6 – Scratching and rubbing the ear.
At the beginning of the article, we gave an example of children who do not listen to their parents’ lectures. As a person grows up, he hides this gesture much better without causing discontent among others. Almost any prolonged touch to the ear can indicate a lie, or a lack of desire to listen to the interlocutor; in addition, a person can give such a signal when he simply wants to voice his opinion.
Gesture 7 – Scratching the neck.
Scratching the side of the neck or the area under the earlobe with the index finger of the right hand (much more often the right rather than the left) is a fairly obvious gesture. This is essentially a continuation of the previous gesture if a person has poor knowledge of body language and does not have time to track such an obvious gesture that betrays him. Nevertheless, having seen such a movement, you can almost certainly say that the interlocutor does not agree with your words or with his own. Interesting fact - usually the number of scratches is 5.
Gesture 8 – Pulling the collar.
Most of the gestures in the article are due to the fact that lying causes an itching sensation in the facial muscles, as well as in the muscle tissues of the neck, requiring scratching to relieve the unpleasant sensation. During deception, when the liar is wearing a shirt, scratching his neck openly will not work, but you can fidget with the collar or simply simply pull it back. In addition, cold air allows you to get rid of beads of sweat (they also indicate possible anxiety due to deception). The gesture can also be seen when a person is upset or angry. To completely confuse the situation when you see this gesture from a person after some statement, you can ask him to repeat it.
Gesture 9 – Fingers in mouth.
That carefree time when the child suckled at the breast of matter and was not bothered by any problems is irrevocably gone. Imperceptibly biting your finger or fist, putting a cigarette or pen in your mouth is all an attempt to return to that distant state of security. This gesture is not particularly suitable for detecting deception, but it speaks of obvious uncertainty.
What to do if it seems that your interlocutor is deceiving:
– Listen to his speech and take a closer look at his gestures, starting to behave the same way . In this situation, it will be much more difficult for the deceiver to lie.
– Don’t try to expose him and accuse him of lying. Pretend that you didn’t hear the last phrase and give your interlocutor a chance to tell the truth.
– Formulate direct questions in response to which it is difficult to lie.
Research by psychologists has revealed several interesting facts about the theory of lies:
– The more sociable a person is , the more often he resorts to deception. Most often, people lie during telephone and personal communication; in writing . Apparently, it hurts the eyes of the writer himself.
– Each person has his own reasons for lying: most often men do it in order to present themselves in a more favorable light, and women do it to create more comfortable communication for the interlocutor. Moreover, the frequency of lies in both sexes is the same.
– Men’s behavior when lying is different from women’s. There is an opinion that women are more comfortable with lying. But, no matter how sad it may sound, deception is part of everyday life and it is simply impossible to avoid it , because for the first time a person comes to this already in the third or fourth year of life.
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Learn to read body language and gestures!
All people lie - it’s just a fact, a truth of life that cannot be avoided. Trying to achieve their goals, those around us (and we are no exception), at best, simply hide the truth, at worst, they deceive each other in the most vile way. Therefore, in our harsh and cruel world, where hypocrisy and lies are all around, it is so important to be independent of other people’s whims. In addition, there is something that gives away a lie and exposes the deceiver - these are gestures and facial expressions. So why not take advantage of this?
A person, as a rule, does not even notice what gestures accompany his dialogue, and, nevertheless, gestures and facial expressions are a subconscious demonstration of his true feelings, and if you learn to recognize these feelings, then you can easily expose the selfish goals of your interlocutor. Moreover, knowing the gestures of lying, you can learn to use them to your advantage, and correctly hide your feelings from others!
Scratching
Do you want to identify signs that the speaker is lying? Look carefully to see if he is scratching his neck or the area under his earlobe with his index finger. The researchers came to an interesting conclusion. It consists of the fact that the liar usually makes five scratching movements. It is extremely rare that their number varies up or down.
The action described above is explained by the occurrence of an itching sensation in the lower muscle tissues of the neck and face when telling a lie.
Show distrust
If you still doubt the sincerity of your interlocutor’s words, show it. When the person finishes speaking, pause silently, looking intently into the eyes; you can frown slightly, clearly showing your distrust. When your opponent lies, it will confuse him and create insecurity. This will make a truthful person angry, and there will not be a bit of embarrassment. His reaction to your words will be frowning eyebrows, pursed lips and barely concealed irritation.
Of course, one cannot judge a person and his sincerity for sure by just a few signs and gestures; especially in the absence of experience, there is a high probability of making a mistake and unfairly slandering your interlocutor. Try not to set the goal of catching your opponent in a lie, but watch him impartially and notice the details. As you gain more experience in dealing with people, you will be better able to recognize lies.
Clear chronology
Returning to the same story from the example, let's say your man actually had dinner with his subordinate. In this case, most likely he took care of it in advance and came up with a beautiful story about their vacation with friends, written from start to finish, in chronological order.
Catch your interlocutor by surprise by asking about minor details. When answering questions, he will try to recreate the picture in the same sequence. If the man’s story is true, he will easily jump from one detail to another, unexpectedly returning either to the end or to the beginning of the story.
Your interlocutor may also openly admit that he doesn’t know or doesn’t remember something - this is another evidence in favor of his honesty. While a liar is unlikely to have gaps in his memories: his testimony is always clearly thought out and logically constructed.
Signs of lying in men
Conversation in a raised voice, obvious aggression, intermittent breathing and rubbing your thigh with your palm are signs that a representative of the stronger sex is telling you a lie. As the German psychologist M. Janson notes, recognizing a man’s lie is much easier than a woman’s. Everything is explained by the fact that the actions of the strong half of humanity are usually impulsive. As for the ladies, they usually carefully think through their line of behavior.
Facial expressions of lies. How to instantly recognize a lie by facial expressions?
Microexpressions are momentary, involuntary facial expressions that people unconsciously display when hiding emotions. These are quick, intense expressions of hidden emotions.
Key points to know about microexpressions:
Instantaneous - microexpressions can appear and disappear from the face in a split second. In other words, they appear so quickly that many people don't even notice them.
Involuntary – microexpressions are caused by involuntary movements of the facial muscles. (look at the illustration of a fake smile). Many people cannot control the muscles that are affected by emotions.
A Brief History of Micro-Expression Theory
Microexpressions were first discovered by Haggard and Isaacs in 1960. Haggard and Isaacs described how they discovered momentary facial expressions in a book published under the title: Micro-Momentary Facial Expressions as Indicators of Ego Mechanisms in Psychotherapy.
William Condon, John Gottman, and Paul Ekman can also be considered pioneers in the study of microexpressions.
In 1976, Ekman developed the Facial Action Coding System ( FACS ) with Wallace Friesen.
It is a common standard for systematically classifying physical expressions of emotion and has proven useful for psychologists and animators.
Dr. Ekman has published many books on the subject of emotions, facial expressions, and lie detection, including Tell a Liar by Their Facial . Training book”, “Telling lies. Keys to Deception in Trade, Politics and Marriage.
Microexpressions and lies
Facial microexpressions give us away when we are lying. We can try to hide our feelings with a fake smile, but involuntary muscle contractions are beyond our control. To understand this, watch this short video:
Trained investigators, customs officers and other specialists use facial microexpressions along with analysis of body language and speech to determine whether a person is telling the truth or lying.
While most people can be trained to recognize facial microexpressions and other cues, some people are natural lie detectors. Ekman calls them “Wizards of Truth.” Such people can detect lies in more than 80% of cases without special training. Interestingly, during testing, out of 20,000 people, only 50 turned out to be “wizards”!
Latest Research in Facial Micro-Expression Training Dr. Paul Ekman and Dr. David Matsumoto created METT, a web-based facial micro-expression training tool. METT and METT2 are currently closed, but both Ekman and Matsumoto have developed their own training programs available on their respective websites. (See below).
Dr. Mark Frank, a former student of Ekman's, continues his research. Frank identified specific and sometimes involuntary movements of 44 facial muscles associated with fear, mistrust, stress and other emotions that betray deception. Frank's work is being tested for its relevance in the fight against terrorism.
Note! Another important thing to remember is that facial microexpressions only show how someone is feeling at the moment, not what the person is thinking
For example, you show your friend a photo of your dog. He looks at you and says, “Very sweet,” but you catch a micro-expression of disgust. It would be presumptuous to take this as a sign that your friend doesn't think the dog is cute. Perhaps he was bitten by a dog in the past and these not the most pleasant emotions flashed briefly on his face when he looked at the photo of your dog.
Useful links for those who understand English:
Dr. David Matsumoto's Website and his Blog.
Dr. Paul Ekman's Website
look for videos on - by request microexpressions and micro expressions
Truth Wizard: The Eyes for Lies Blog & Website
Source: //psyprofi.com/detector-lzhi/mimika-lzhi.html
Study the details
Let's say your man says he was at a meeting with friends, but you guess that he went to a restaurant with his subordinate. How to recognize a lie? The best way to never find out the truth is to torture him straight on: “Have you seen the secretary?” No, you have to be smarter here! There is a good trick to expose your man's lies.
Start a light conversation and casually ask where they and their friends vacationed, who they were, what food and drinks they had. If the story was made up, then he will have to immediately come up with answers to your endless questions, and this will lead him to confusion. You can easily notice this by the non-verbal signs of lying already listed above, as well as short pauses and attempts to quickly think and come up with the desired answer.
If the story from a man’s lips flows easily and is full of details and numerous details, the more likely it is that he speaks sincerely (“We spilled champagne on the suits, it’s good that it wasn’t too noticeable on the dark fabric”).
Emotional Details
The inventor will tell you a ready-made made-up story, rarely supported by emotional overtones. He might say something like, “I’m sorry my bus left without me.” A sincere person, in addition to the facts themselves, will also share with you his experiences: “How is this possible! All the buses run on schedule, and what are we paying them for anyway? I had to wait for twenty minutes!” Such a story will most likely be non-fictional.
Signs of lying in women
In addition to the universal signals listed above that indicate a lie, there are also narrower signs that are indirectly related to the gender of the speaker.
— By touching a chain or pendant on her neck, a woman is fueled by confidence in her own lies.
“Blinking her eyes and sighing languidly, the liar is trying to divert attention from the main thing.
Ladies are always confident in what they say, even if it is absolutely untrue. So it will be difficult to reveal a liar based on their voice, but it’s worth watching their gestures.