Text of the book “How to overcome fear. Secret techniques of the special services"

Treatment of fears at the Moscow Brain Clinic always ends successfully. This is due to the use of the latest developments and advanced scientific and practical psychotherapeutic techniques, as well as the introduction of restorative medicine technologies. The combination of these therapeutic techniques gives us the opportunity not only to reduce the time frame of therapy, but also to achieve high-quality results. After the course, as a rule, fears no longer return and a person’s quality of life returns to normal.

Unfortunately, the frequency of occurrence of this symptomatology has increased significantly in the last decade, which can be associated with various reasons for the changed external environment. It began to have a more aggressive effect on the human nervous system.

Many people are now afraid to contact a psychiatrist or psychotherapist and are looking for the opportunity to receive anonymous help. Therefore, we prioritize both the quality of therapy and guarantees of anonymity when contacting.

Brain Clinic doctors have extensive experience in curing fears of various types. We not only treat, but restore a person’s neuropsychic activity.

Call! We help in the most severe cases, even if previous treatment did not help.

Methods for treating fears used in the clinic

• Careful differential diagnosis;
• Individualization of therapy;
• Modern psychotherapeutic techniques;
• Effective methods of restorative medicine;
• Intensive neurometabolic therapy.

Typically, fears are treated using psychotherapeutic methods and specially selected rational neurometabolic therapy.

The methods we use may be different; to solve this situation, we use a combination of several types of psychotherapy. At each session, the doctor selects an individual option.

Psychotherapy for irrational fears is selected for each person individually and can vary depending on the person’s mood and condition. The concept of the sessions can be expressed in a passage from a classic work: “I am not afraid because you have horns, therefore you are not a predator.”

In parallel, biological therapy can be prescribed in the form of taking drugs in tablet form or injections. Many clinics that have their own hospital offer inpatient treatment for fears. However, this approach is not always correct or necessary. We believe that a person should not drop out of the social environment and use hospital-substituting techniques. These techniques are much more effective than those commonly used. We can only recommend hospital care in the most critical cases.

Sometimes there is a need for a more thorough examination, because the feeling of irrational fear may turn out to be a manifestation of some physiological disease. Therefore, only our qualified doctor with extensive experience will be able to individually select the desired therapeutic line.

Fear should be considered a pathological symptom of the nervous system reaction.

Treating fears starts with the causes

Getting rid of fears will be more effective if you establish the framework of the disease in which they manifest themselves. These frameworks can be found in a fairly wide range of different diseases, both diseases of the nervous system and somatic ones.

At Brain Clinic in Moscow, special attention is paid to the principles of differential diagnosis, when the doctor considers the presence of any fear not as a mental illness, but as a consequence of a complication of the underlying disorder and, through special techniques, recognizes its true cause. It is precisely the eradication of the true cause of this symptom that we are engaged in.

Causes of irrational fears

• Violation of metabolic processes in the brain;
• Infectious diseases;
• Neurological disorders;
• Presence of borderline mental disorders.

Feelings of fear can have different directions. When there is a metabolic disorder in the brain, fears are often combined with obsession, anxiety, hypochondriacal syndrome, and depression.

In borderline mental states, this symptom is often included in the group of neurotic diseases where it can be combined with a panic attack, intensifying the symptoms. This also happens in disorders that are caused by stress or adaptation disorders.

In addition, there are a number of diseases associated with neurological disorders (brain injuries, neuralgia, diseases of the peripheral nervous system, toxic brain damage, etc.).

Often the manifestation of fear can be caused by intoxication of the body due to somatic pathology. Such as, for example, gastritis, heart disease, liver disease, endocrine and infectious diseases, etc.

Formation frequency

Diseases that cause attacks of fear are well known and studied. The frequency of their formation ranges from 1.5 to 3.5% of the population. Most often this has now become common among young people. Conducted studies show that complex neurometabolic treatment of fears is required in all cases.

If there is one of the main reasons for the formation of this symptom, more persistent mental states that qualify as phobias can form.

It should be noted that very often it is disturbances in nervous activity and the emergence of a strong feeling of fear that provokes swelling and spasm of the bronchi, causing an attack of bronchial asthma.

Recently, scientists have destroyed the myth that manifestations of fear are a concomitant condition of autonomic disorders, diencephalic crises, and neurocirculatory dystonia. It has been established that it is this borderline mental state that causes the indicated somatic manifestation. Due to the huge number of possible causes of this sensation, the process of getting rid of fears requires preliminary differential diagnosis. It is the establishment of an accurate and complete diagnosis, as well as the individual determination of effective methods, that contributes to the maximum effect of treatment and provides safe care to the patient.

Treatment of fears in a Moscow clinic

According to the pathogenesis of the developed disease, it is necessary to cure the cause of the disease, and not its manifestations. Many people often use tranquilizers (phenazepam, seduxen, grandaxin, etc.) as medicinal methods of treating fears. This very often leads to a quick effect. However, in the future this leads to the formation of complications and the emergence of chronic painful conditions. In this regard, Bray Clinic specialists rarely use these drugs. Only as a last resort as an emergency aid in relieving the most severe manifestations of fear. At the same time, observing caution, safety of use and individual characteristics of the person. By the way, it is worth noting that long-term use of tranquilizers does not give good results and often complicates the disease.

To get rid of fear, the clinic uses specially individually developed complex psychotherapeutic methods that consist of various techniques (cognitive, NLP, eclectic, behavioral, hypnotherapy, etc.). In difficult situations or in cases where previous attempts to treat fears have not been successful, we use special programs.

Special individual programs include not only exclusive psychotherapeutic techniques, but also rehabilitation therapy technologies. It is not uncommon for psychotherapy to be as effective as possible, requiring the use of special neurometabolic therapy techniques developed by us. Active neurometabolic therapy is carried out on an outpatient basis. This is necessary so that the most active substances can quickly help a person without harming the physiological processes of the body.

The drugs used, in individual combination, have a calming effect, relax, and are also activators of the restoration of normal biological processes in the body. When replacing intravenous injections with a tablet form, the effect of treatment is reduced tenfold.

Features of treating fears in the clinic

• Scientifically based approach to each case;
• Individual differential diagnosis in each case;
• Mandatory consultation, free of charge;
• Use of minimal dosages of medications;
• Modern psychotherapeutic techniques;
• The therapy is based on the principles of body restoration;
• We do not use untested and ineffective methods;
• Shortened disposal times.

Due to the fact that we use minimal dosages and very strictly check their combination with other drugs, the effectiveness of treating fears in our clinic is much higher and safer for the body.

Recently, in the treatment of fears, we often include in drug therapy drugs made using nanotechnology, which affect the metabolism of the hormone serotonin and the restoration of metabolic processes in the midline structures of the brain.

Drug therapy for fears in Moscow

Medicines that are used to relieve fear most often belong to the group of beta-adrenergic receptor blockers and benzodiazepine drugs. Less popular is the use of tricyclic antidepressants. Often, with these symptoms, antidepressants can be strictly prohibited. For anxiety symptoms, we can rarely use tranquilizers for a short time. But their use is only in the most emergency situations and under constant supervision. This is due to the fact that these drugs can cause dependence.

Nowadays, antidepressants based on serotonin metabolism are used. Drugs in this series have better profile tolerance for the body, although they are expensive.

Among the disadvantages of drug therapy, one can note a clear sedative result (lethargy, drowsiness). For this reason, you should not drive while taking these medications. They affect concentration, can disrupt gait, reduce visual acuity, cause nausea, dry mouth, and decreased appetite. If therapy with these drugs is not prescribed correctly, manifestations such as increased activity, the appearance of excessive agitation, outbursts of aggression, irritability and sometimes even insomnia may appear. We should not forget about the possibility of addiction to drugs and the occurrence of complications of the disease. Uncontrolled use of medications and violation of doctor’s recommendations will harm your body.

It should be remembered that such medications must be used strictly under the supervision of a doctor.

Psychotherapy of fears

It is very, very difficult to imagine the therapy of fears without the use of various methods of psychotherapeutic influence. Depending on the true reasons for the formation and manifestation of the symptom, various psychotherapeutic techniques are used:

• drug-free - used for psychological personality changes, true forms of neurosis.
• mixed - used for organic disorders of the brain or the presence of metabolic disorders of the brain, as well as for the somatic nature of the manifestation.

The Brain Clinic uses non-standard treatment for various fears, based on data from a thorough examination and identification of the main causes of the development of the problem, which cannot be suppressed by the efforts of one’s own will and contrary to logical arguments. Thanks to accurate and complete diagnostics, we are able to select a method for treating fears with minimal use of medications and maximum efficiency.

Varieties of phobias or fears have many names, but it is not the fear as such that needs to be treated, but the reason why this fear manifests itself.

Facing the Treatment of Fears

Fear is a basic human emotion. There are many positive and negative aspects of this phenomenon in human life. Since this section of our website is directly devoted to getting rid of fears, we will not talk about any positive aspects of this emotion. Moreover, we have a firm conviction that fears, if they are not justified, need to be treated, eradicated and dealt with in every possible way. In order to understand your feelings you need to turn your face to them. What does it mean? Let's take for example a feeling like love, or it would be more correct to start with the emotion called falling in love, which is very often confused with love, especially at the initial stage. If you ask a couple in love what they are willing to do for each other, in ninety-five cases out of a hundred the answer will be: “Anything”! The only pity is that in two years (falling in love is not long-lived) a reminder of such an answer will, at best, cause a smile in people who were once in love. What happened between people? Have they really, over a relatively short period of time, completely lost the feeling that could have moved each of them to any bold and unprecedented act?

But it seemed that they were ruled by love. If the young people had not been blinded by the all-consuming feeling that love seemed to them, and each of them had looked more closely at themselves, they would have easily come to the conclusion that there were not so many feats they were ready to perform for the sake of the happiness of their loved one. One of the most remarkable processes occurring during the period of falling in love is the temporary erasure of the boundaries of the human EGO.

Psychology also speaks of a narrowing of the consciousness of people in love, in which visible shortcomings are simply not paid attention to. On the contrary, all the positive qualities of the object of love acquire additional colors. Almost the same thing happens to us when we experience a feeling of fear, but in the diametrically opposite direction.

Overcoming fears with the help of chakras

The presence of fears, both conscious and unconscious, is a serious obstacle to spiritual development. After all, fear is not only the opposite of faith in God, but also a sign of dysfunction of one or another chakra. Knowing the correspondence between chakras and various types of fears, you can work through the latter more effectively.

Muladhara is the red root chakra.

External: fear of physical pain, injury, mutilation, loneliness, poverty, hunger, loss of stability and the future.

Internal: fear of one’s own weakness and inability to survive.

Overcoming: Many practices from iron shirt qigong, especially those that use meditation on the root that goes from the feet deep into the ground. Meditation on the earth, gratitude to the earth and nature, for everything it gives to people and animals. Meditation on massive, stable buildings and trees, that is, on such qualities as stability and inviolability. All power asanas, developing a sense of balance, inverted poses and apana kriyas (ashvini mudra, mula bandha, maha mudra).

Svadhisthana is the sexual chakra of orange color.

External: fear of being sexually assaulted, losing pleasure and entertainment, objects of affection, which can manifest itself in jealousy and suspicion, distrust of a partner, this also includes fear of losing family and friends.

Internal: diseases of the reproductive system, fear of losing attractiveness, fear of old age and fear of the dark.

Overcoming: the practice of wishing happiness for all living beings, especially those who are afraid of losing. Monitoring manifestations of distrust and pretentiousness towards loved ones and freeing yourself from them through awareness. Apana Kriya and Goddess Pose.

Manipura – solar plexus, yellow chakra.

External: fear of superiors, various types of dependence, chaos and loss of control. Fear of the future, loss of control over a situation, loss of power or position, inability to stand up for oneself. This also includes such common fear as fear of public opinion, general condemnation, putting oneself in a bad light and shame.

Internal: fear of losing strength and authority, fear of senile frailty.

Overcoming: the practice of controlled stupidity, when a person deliberately does absurd things in order to evoke a negative assessment from others and consciously live his reaction to it. Samana kriya (agnisara dhouti kriya, nauli, udiyana bandha, etc.), dhanurasana, matsyendrasana, mayurasana, etc.

Anahata is the green heart chakra.

External: fear of lack of understanding and reciprocity on the part of objects of love or sympathy. Fear of loneliness, betrayal and rudeness from loved ones.

Internal: fear of one’s own negative manifestations.

Overcoming: wishing happiness to all living beings, especially those with fears. Work towards accepting your dark side, which Gestalt therapy and spiritual technologies of Zivorad Slavinsky can help with. An excellent elaboration of anahate fears is rooting in the understanding that love is simply wishing a person happiness, and not the desire to be close, etc. After all, the latter is nothing more than a manifestation of selfishness. Lotus mudra, prana-kriya (kapala bhati, bhastrika).

Vishuddha is the blue throat chakra.

External: claustrophobia, social phobia, fear of public speaking and large crowds, fear of exams.

Internal: fear of losing intellectual abilities and talents, fear of one’s own professional incompetence. Fear due to the feeling of one’s own stupidity, stupidity, mediocrity and other things associated with problematic self-esteem. Fear of expressing one's thoughts or emotions, which may result in a preference to remain silent and passive. Although, of course, the latter cannot clearly indicate the presence of such fear.

Overcoming: comprehensive work with self-esteem, singing, training for speakers and exercises for voice training. Jalandhara bandha and all variations of the birch tree pose.

Ajna is the third eye, indigo chakra.

External: fear of becoming a victim of suggestion and the inability to realize oneself as a parent.

Internal: fear of insanity, loss of will, inability to create and realize oneself.

Overcoming: any practices that develop awareness, concentration and mental stability.

Sahasrara is the crown chakra of violet color.

External: manifestations of fear such as fanaticism, especially religious.

Internal: fear of the other world, hellish torment, possession, etc.

Overcoming: communication with people competent in matters of spirituality. Understanding that God is one, although providers (religions) are different. The use of various protections against manifestations of the otherworldly (amulets, spells, etc.) can help.

An experienced Vedic astrologer will help you overcome your fears. He will draw up your natal chart and provide individual recommendations for improving your health.

The material was written exclusively for the vedica.ru project. Copying text without permission is strictly prohibited and is a violation of copyright

How to deal with fears yourself

Sometimes it happens that the fear that has taken possession of us makes us afraid of objects, circumstances, people - for which there is no visible or even hypothetical reason to fear. In Moscow, treating anxiety and fears on your own is impossible due to the high psycho-physical stress that constantly affects a person.

However, as popular wisdom states, “fear has big eyes,” and the meaning of this saying lies precisely in the fact that what we see and fear is not at all what is really scary. Many of us do not know how people can be controlled by their fears. And the fact that they are also able to control it does not even occur to such people. “Look where it’s scary,” a young mother once heard advice when she unexpectedly found herself in the midst of real hostilities. Without any special skills and without any special training, the ability to control her fear helped the woman find her little son in utter hell, among explosions, collapsing walls and under a hail of bullets, and return him to normal life. We understand that this is just a theory. In fact, everything is achieved with much greater effort and labor. We are not always able to analyze our behavior in extreme cases. However, human memory is a unique tool and, if necessary, or if a person feels that he is not able to cope with the problem alone, a study of the causes of fear can be done together with a doctor. An important task of such research is to correctly understand your feelings and emotions and be able to manage them.

Text of the book “How to overcome fear. Secret techniques of the special services"

Leonard Cameron How to overcome fear. Secret techniques of special services

© Cameron, L., 2014
© AB Publishing, 2014

© Creative Job LLC, 2014

Chapter first. What is fear

1.1. Fears and phobias. What are they and how do they arise?

Fear is a natural human emotion that arises in anticipation of a real or perceived threat. Psychology, which divides all emotions into positively and negatively colored ones, considers fear to be a negatively colored emotional process. It is also one of the innate emotions inherent in every person to one degree or another. Among innate fears, the most common are fear of heights, darkness, loneliness and many others. Some of these fears are only imaginary, for example, many people are afraid of closed spaces, although they do not pose a real danger, unlike the fear of depth. Sometimes such fears turn into phobias - irrational mental deviations in which a person is characterized by strong fear, even, rather, a feeling of horror and panic.

Fear has influenced the life of every person since primitive times, the life of society and culture. If we talk about the simplest examples, then even the first people gathered into tribes, among other things, out of a sense of fear - it’s safer to be together. The first rituals and deities appeared in people’s lives also because of fears: fear of death, hunger, misfortune and disease.

Psychologists distinguish three main types of fear:

– biological – these are fears that are directly related to the threat to life and are developed in humans at the genetic level. For example, escaping from a house in which a fire has started is a natural fear of fire, developed in humanity over generations;

– social fears do not pose an immediate threat to life, but greatly influence it, since they pose a threat to the usual way of life, status and social communications. This category includes fear of public speaking, strangers, responsibility, changing jobs and the general way of life. Many people spend years working in jobs they don't like and living with people they don't like simply because they are afraid of change. Such fear can also be complex, for example, a person has difficulty finding a common language with people and he clings to an established team, or he is afraid that if he leaves his partner, he will not be able to find someone else. Social fears do not pose a threat to physical existence, they have a psychological basis due to problems with self-esteem and are treated by a specialist if this is necessary and the person cannot cope on his own.

The last level, the subtlest, is called existential. Why? Because most often fears of such a subtle level arise at the intellectual and sensory level. These are the fears that arise in a person due to his developed thinking, imagination and personal qualities. Such fears are not genetic and do not pose a threat to social status. These include fear of death, loneliness, loss of loved ones, and the meaninglessness of human life.

And if unconditional, biological fears are mainly beneficial for a person, since they protect him from danger, then social and existential fears are more likely to spoil life. However, not all unconditional fears can be objective either. For example, the fear of doctors is physiological, but it is more likely to cause harm, since the patient waits until the last minute and comes to the doctor only when the problem gets worse. This fear is also psychological; it often appears in childhood, for example, when a doctor says that an injection does not hurt, the child becomes stressed and, on a subconscious level, stops believing doctors.

Judging by the latest estimates from psychologists who deal with fears and phobias, most of them develop in childhood due to stress, accidents and, sadly, parents. Very often, parents themselves do not know that they are traumatizing and offending their children, creating complexes and fears in them. Who among us did not hear in childhood: “But Vanya studies well at school, not like you?” Some parents were very strict and unfair: “Tanya draws well, but what should you do in art school. Go to the dance." Although sometimes you don’t even need to say anything, since it’s enough to devote little time to the child, treat him with indifference and not praise him for his endeavors, so that complexes appear, self-esteem drops and, as a result, social fears appear.

The amygdala is responsible for fear, and doctors have found that diseases that destroy it (for example, Urbach-Witte disease, a rare genetic disease) cause an absolute absence of fear.

Physiological fears have two neural response pathways: fast and slow. A quick reaction works in emergency situations, for example, during a fire - people grab everything that is most valuable to them and run away, and only then call the fire department. Moreover, in such situations, victims make many mistakes, acting intuitively, primarily saving children, animals, and documents. But sometimes there are also surprising cases: it is understandable that musicians take their instruments out of a burning house first, artists take their paintings, but some people take new TVs or computers, or even the first thing that comes to hand. Sometimes reflexes work very strangely during times of stress.

The second, long path of neural reaction is more characteristic of social fears; it does not require unconditioned reflexes and actions. Quite often, a so-called false alarm is triggered (a feeling of horror that overcomes us for a second when it seems to us that we have done something wrong, but it goes away very quickly). Sometimes the neural function of reactions to potential danger is disrupted and then unjustified fears and phobias appear.

1.2. The most common fears

Sometimes ordinary fears that humanity has developed over generations turn into problems, phobias, sometimes even into paranoid states of constant anxiety, which most often is one of the components of such a neurological disease as neurosis.

The most common fears are:

– claustrophobia, fear of closed, cramped spaces, such as an elevator or a bathroom. It is one of the ten most common pathological fears.

– agoraphobia is claustrophobia on the contrary, a fear of open spaces and spacious rooms, most often manifested in the fear of being in squares, empty streets, sometimes in the fear of crowds or open doors. The room may be quite large, but an unlocked or wide open door causes severe psychological discomfort.

– Arachnophobia – fear of spiders. This fear is quite common, since it is physiologically determined - many spiders are poisonous and very dangerous, but it is a phobia only if the person who sees the spider begins to panic or hysteria (which also often happens).

– social phobia – fear of people, society, and performing public duties. A very broad and widespread concept that includes a whole range of fears of a social nature, for example, fear of public speaking, fear of being on the street, strong moral discomfort when any person shows interest or is observed from the outside. People with social phobias are prone to aggression and depression, and sometimes social phobia develops into misanthropy - hatred of people and society. Such fears are often caused by psychological or mental instability, low self-esteem and complexes.

– xenophobia – fear of strangers. In a broad media context, the concept of “xenophobia” is interpreted as a general detachment and dislike for other countries or peoples, but this is only a derivative of the term. In a psychological sense, xenophobia is the fear of strangers, strangers and everything that seems alien to a particular person. If we take agoraphobia, then here a person is afraid of the most open space on the streets, squares, and in the case of xenophobia, a person is afraid of strangers, crowds on these very streets and squares.

– mysophobia is one of the manifestations of obsessive states, fear of dirt, germs and infection, which is expressed in frequent and thorough hand washing, cleaning surfaces after physical contact with other people. If mysophobia is left untreated, it worsens and eventually becomes paranoid psychosis. Some patients washed their hands with scouring powder and a stiff plumbing brush after every physical contact with something they thought was dirty, and their hands eventually became sore.

– herpetophobia – fear of lizards and snakes. It is physiologically determined and natural, but sometimes it turns into obsessive states. One of the most common phobias in the world.

– Iatrophobia – panicky fear of doctors and physicians. Few people experience joy when entering a clinic or hospital, but people suffering from iatrophobia may experience real panic.

– Aichmophobia is a very common type of fear associated with the fear of sharp objects. The difference between an ordinary person and someone who suffers from Aichmophobia is that everyone behaves carefully and warily with an overly sharp knife or needle, but only Aichmophobes are so afraid of everything sharp that even sharpened pencils and pointed umbrellas frighten them.

– Aerophobia – fear of flying. It is very common, and to some extent is an analogue of “seasickness”, since people suffering from aerophobia feel bad not only psychologically, but also physically, experience nausea and dizziness.

– pharmacophobia – fear of taking medications. Sometimes this fear is so great that it turns into an obsessive state. A person believes that drugs are actually poison, which makes people get sick even more often in order to buy even more drugs.

– Autophobia – fear of being alone. In pathological cases, these are panic attacks, deep depression, which can even end in suicide. Psychotherapists associate such fears with too strong attachments to other people: parents, lover or best friend.

Chapter two. Fear and career

2.1. How Fears Can Stop You from Succeeding

You don't have to have a serious problem with phobias, as described in the previous chapter, to experience fear, anxiety, and awkwardness at important times in our lives. Fear stops breathing, thoughts and does not allow us to concentrate, sometimes it even makes us do all sorts of stupid things, run away from the source of excitement.

But at the same time, there are situations when you cannot simply hide from the source of your experiences, this applies to getting a job and your entire career in principle. You need to be able to control yourself and look cheerful, calm and calm in any situation, even if a storm of emotions is boiling inside.

For example, let's take an interview. Who would a recruiter be more likely to hire: a self-confident, energetic applicant rather than a gloomy and confused one with reddening ears - provided they are equally professional, of course.

And the point is not only that a confident person evokes more sympathy when you first meet, but also that he is likely to cope better with stressful situations at work, for example, if you need to do something urgently or speak in front of someone. by their employees. A self-confident person will feel better in a team, help other employees more, and will not be embarrassed to ask for help if he really needs it to adapt to a new environment.

In order to achieve success in your career, you need to be able to communicate with people, complete assigned tasks on time, be friendly and confident, worry as little as possible and, of course, be an expert in your field. But sometimes fear at important moments cancels out everything, sometimes we worry so much that we get confused in important interviews and meetings, make stupid mistakes in important reports and are afraid to strive for more - and this is the most important problem.

Fear of change and lack of self-confidence can turn even a very talented person into an average office employee for many years who does mediocre paperwork because he does not express himself in any way and is afraid to take on more responsibility. Fear paralyzes and prevents you from adequately assessing the situation. “I have a great idea for a new project, but I won’t tell anyone about it because they’ll just laugh at me, that’s for sure.” Another popular excuse is: “I feel good as it is. But I know that my life is stable, and I don’t have to worry about anything and take responsibility.” But when someone says to themselves: “I can’t do this anymore, I need to change something, I’m capable of more,” this is the most important thing in the fight against fear. The main thing is the awareness that it exists, it was stuck so deep inside that it seemed natural, and all this time we were just looking for excuses.

Fear of work thus affects both your career and your entire life. In fact, it is enough to accept that it is normal to be afraid. And all people are afraid, worried, feel awkward in certain situations, do or say stupid things. But we need to be able to cope with our feelings, and this applies not only to fear and not only to negativity - we must control our feelings, and not they control us. This doesn’t mean that it’s time to turn into a living machine and suppress your feelings and emotions, no, there’s just no need for extremes. In order to feel comfortable and confident, a golden mean is necessary: ​​our feelings should help us live, and not interfere. The same applies, not least of all, to fears.

Popular opinions about fighting fear are also often exaggerated, for example, they say that to get rid of the fear of heights, you need to jump with a parachute. This is actually not true. A person who is very afraid will not jump with a parachute; he may also be overcome by panic, even to the point of a heart attack - who needs that? Such radical methods are popular only in popular opinion, but no one does this, at least let's hope so.

If fear really interferes with your life, it is best to go to a specialist. There are psychologists and psychotherapists who deal exclusively with problems of fear, and sometimes even more narrowly specialized, for example, they deal only with social fears or fears in relationships. They can help not only find the origins of the problem, but also methods for solving it.

2.2. Preparing for an important event: how to quickly overcome anxiety and avoid stress

There are several main tips on how to pull yourself together if we are afraid of something or are very worried.

So, method number one: perfect preparation. If we are very nervous before going to an interview, important meeting or event, we try to prepare perfectly for it: put on good clothes to look fresh, calm and natural, think about what we will say and how we will act. In addition, the feeling that we have prepared for an important event as thoroughly as we could adds confidence. And most importantly, do not forget to smile, as this helps relieve moral stress. It would be a good idea to practice in front of a mirror and choose a suitable suit.

You should focus on yourself, on what you do, say, how you behave, while thinking about others as little as possible. If this is an interview, focus on your answers, smile and look at the interviewer's forehead between the eyebrows, in the third eye area, this way it feels like you are looking into the person's eyes.

The method of ignoring fear as such often helps. You know that you need to do it, and you do it, even if you are afraid of failure more than anything else. Try not to think about what may not work out for you, think about what will work out.

The second common method is preliminary energy consumption. Before you go out to the public or go for an interview, just use all the energy that you have: go jogging, exercise, solve problems or puzzles, or better yet, do everything together. In this case, the adrenaline will be used up in advance, and there will simply be no strength left to worry.

Psychologists say that the third method, which we will now talk about, also works well if the cause of fear is a past failure. So, if this is a fear of performing, then you first need to perform in such a way that it is very bad and these experiences come to life again, and then, after a short period of time, when the annoyance has already gone away, but the feelings are still fresh, you need to perform with success. To do this, you can “forget” to prepare for the performance the first time, or the audience must know how to behave in both cases. At the same time, if you miss the first stage - a disastrous performance - the effect will be much less.

If you are afraid of interviews, sign up for an interview for a random vacancy that is not very suitable and fail it, but go to the one you need confidently and thoroughly prepared. Smile, breathe deeply, control yourself and take risks, then it will turn out that everything is not so scary!

Chapter three. Fear and Love

3.1. There is no place for fear in love

Despite the fact that fear is a natural human feeling and manifests itself in almost all areas of our lives, in relationships it is more likely to cause difficulties than help.

At every stage of a relationship, people are afraid of something, and this is absolutely natural, but it is very important to be able to overcome this fear and not let it rule your life. To begin with, it should be noted that in the social sphere, that is, in communication with others, our fears are divided into three types: fear of an event, fear of a state, and fear of the inability to overcome this state. In a specific example, it looks like this: the first type manifests itself in fear, for example, of betrayal. The second is in fear of how it will affect you. And the third type is expressed in the fear that you will not be able to overcome this unwanted state. Each of the types can exist separately, at the same time they can be present all at the same time or in various combinations. But the most important thing is that any fear will become a serious barrier in a relationship, which means that you should get rid of it.

Many people withdraw into themselves, not believing in their own strength and ability to overcome their prejudices, and give up thoughts about relationships, but there is another way. Even at a fairly young age, you can completely isolate yourself from romantic relationships due to complexes and fears that may not have any basis. If your fears are groundless, overcoming them is quite simple. You just need to understand or convince yourself that, firstly, you will never know the result if you don’t try, and, secondly, that all it takes is a little courage to take the first step.

If you have an unpleasant relationship experience and do not want a similar situation to happen again, it will be much more difficult to overcome the barriers that you have created for yourself. But it is nevertheless possible. Instead of protecting yourself from all kinds of relationships with people and convincing yourself of the inevitability of failure, you can take the path of fighting your fears. All those who choose this path need to do is survive their fear. In other words, you need to imagine that undesirable situation and all the consequences arising from it and accept them. This, of course, will require time and mental effort, but the result is worth it. This way, you will be convinced that you can overcome such things, and then the fear of possible events will decrease. If your fear is complex, you should approach the fight against it more carefully. This will require some self-awareness and the ability to break down what you fear into many simple elements. It will be much more effective to deal with them one by one.

The most important rule of any relationship is to get rid of blocks that can significantly complicate mutual understanding and reduce the level of trust that is so necessary in love.

3.2. When you are afraid - what to do?

Every fear has some basis. Most often, these are your own complexes, embarrassment, or simple lack of self-confidence. It is they who, with sufficiently long development, develop into very real and serious fears of forming relationships and getting close to people. It should also be noted that such fears are quite difficult to overcome; it is often almost impossible to step over them. This is explained by the fact that the cause of fear lies not in the events that you are afraid of, but in your assessment of yourself. According to many psychologists, the golden rule of any relationship, friendly or romantic, is: “Love yourself and then others will love you.” This is especially true since many simply stop taking care of themselves and their appearance, believing that they still cannot be interesting to anyone. There is also a completely opposite fear. If the person you admire always looks great and dresses to the nines, you may feel that you are unworthy of her or him. The reason for such fear is also self-doubt, one might even argue that this is its most striking manifestation.

Many people nowadays are afraid of relationships as such. Such fear is complex, as it consists of many components: it is the fear of insincerity, betrayal, unrequited love, and the fact that a person will not live up to the expectations placed on him or will not cope with the responsibilities that will inevitably arise over time. In order to get rid of such doubts about yourself and your partner, you must first figure out what exactly you are afraid of. When you create a complete picture of what you don’t want to get, it’s time to analyze existing relationships and assume how your chosen one will behave in the relationship in the future. Often, a simple analysis of the situation will help ensure that your fears are completely unfounded. If you are still not entirely sure of the outcome of the situation, you should talk to your significant other. This way you can get support from your loved one and at the same time show that you trust her or him. Only an open conversation can reveal all intentions and true feelings, especially if your insecurity arose at the stage of the relationship’s transition to a more serious phase.

Despite the fact that overcoming your own fears is quite difficult, only this can help you fully enjoy your relationship. Otherwise, you will spend most of your time worrying, doubts and fears, which will inevitably lead to misunderstandings and quarrels with your partner. It is for the sake of your joint happiness that you should free yourself from your own doubts and rid your partner of unnecessary suspicions and worries, since your state of mind will definitely not go unnoticed by him or her.