How to get out of the friend zone and start dating

How to avoid getting into the friend zone?
How to get out of the friend zone?
What do we have to do?
How to stop being friends and start dating - effective tips
Bottom line

When you like a girl, you want to date her, and not just have a nice conversation as friends. The situation becomes offensive when you devote time to a girl, even confess or hint at warm feelings, and she responds by saying: “Let’s remain friends.” Is it possible to get out of the friend zone and start dating? You should talk about this in the men's magazine masculino.ru, looking at effective tips.

The mistake many guys make is that they agree to remain friends with the girls they love. It seems that if you meet a girl halfway, she will eventually change her mind and start dating. But months and even years pass, and she turns her attention to other guys, resorting to a “friend” to complain when her relationship with them does not work out.

Do you no longer want to be a “friend” of the one you want to date? Are you tired of watching your loved one go out with others and come to you when everything is going badly? Do you want to be the guy she's dating? It's time to take decisive steps.

You need to start by stopping hoping that over time your friendship will grow into something more. The girl has already signed you up as her friend. To get out of the friend zone, you need to make drastic changes.

Is it possible to get out of the friend zone?

Is it possible to get out of the friend zone? Yes, but not always and not all people succeed. It all depends on the actions of the one who finds himself in the friend zone.

Here's what you need to do before you start leaving the friend zone:

Recognize the problem. Many people deny that they have been added as a friend. Or they deny the fact that they are not satisfied with this state of affairs. And almost everyone is sure that the matter is not in them, but in some case, fate, evil fate. Admit it to yourself: “I’m in the friend zone, but I don’t like it. I ended up here and stayed because of my mistakes.”
Determine if you are right for her/him. Most people choose people of the same type (similar in appearance and (or) content) as partners. Determine if you are similar to this type. If not, then there is nothing to catch - you need to part ways. If they are not similar in something that can be changed, then decide for yourself whether you need it.
Confess your feelings. If you haven’t yet admitted your feelings and asked the question bluntly, then do it. Confess your love and ask if further developments are possible. If a guy or girl doesn’t see you as a potential partner, then you shouldn’t get out of the friend zone - you need to leave the relationship completely.

Before we talk about how to get out of the friend zone, let’s look at something else: is it worth getting out of it?

Interesting! One of the signs of a friend zone for a guy or girl via correspondence is a “heart” emoticon in any color except red. The remaining signs are not much different from those in life: maximum revelations in communication and minimum physical intimacy.

How can a guy avoid being a friend?

From the very beginning of dating, you need to show sympathy for the girl.
It is not uncommon for a young man to find himself in an awkward position, starting a close relationship with a girl, and finds himself in the category of friend, not boyfriend. What should a young man do to avoid this?

A guy should flirt with a girl, present himself correctly, and not forget about innocent touches.
There is no need to show your interest in young ladies, you need to behave independently, show your relevance to the female sex.
You need to try to become the center of the Universe for a beautiful girl. The chosen one should have a desire to meet you and communicate.
When communicating with a young lady, hint that you would not mind having a girl like her, give her compliments.

How to get out of the friend zone

So, how can a girl or guy get out of the friend zone:

Take a break. Don't be intrusive, don't call or write, don't run at the first call. This action has two meanings. Firstly, if a person is truly interested in you, then he will remember you, take the initiative himself, and become bored and worried. If you are not interesting or are simply being used, then they will not even notice that you are missing or, after receiving the first refusal, they will find a replacement.
Become interesting. It doesn’t matter whether you are a man or a woman – become a mystery to the object of your affection. Take up a new hobby, but don't tell your “friend” about it. Let him find out from third parties. This will make him pay attention to you, think that there is something else about you that he does not know.
Compare yourself in friendship and in relationships. It happens that a person attracts us as a person, a friend, but we cannot imagine how we can be in a close relationship with him. Perhaps this is your case. Maybe you've earned a bad reputation in love affairs. Then you need to work on your character and prove that you really can change, that you have already changed.
Distance yourself in communication. If you constantly shower compliments, declare your love, etc., then it’s time to become more restrained. And even if you see the first fruits of this, for example, the object of your feelings begins to shower you with compliments, then still control yourself. Broadcast the following thought: “What are you talking about, we’re just friends.”
Be independent. Chat and date other members of the opposite sex.

Note! Before you disappear from the life of the person with whom you dreamed of establishing a closer relationship, find out what specific benefits you give him. Deprive him of just that.

How to avoid getting into the friend zone?

At first, all the guys who communicate with girls can be potential partners. In principle, the guy himself also doesn’t always know for sure at the beginning whether he will date a girl or just start chatting. To avoid leaving the friend zone, you need to understand how to avoid getting into this territory. Let's look at the guys' mistakes so that we don't make them ourselves.

The most important mistake that the stronger sex makes is that they do not demonstrate their desire to hug, kiss, or have sex. Of course, you were all taught that you first need to get acquainted with a girl. Moreover, the girls themselves say that they are not ready to go to bed on the first date. First you have to walk for a long time and communicate on various topics.

The mistake is that while the guy is paying attention and caring for the girl, he is not trying to kiss, touch, hug, etc. Girls are taught to be restrained in their similar desires. However, just walking and chatting can soon become boring. If a girl doesn’t notice that a guy “wants” her and is attracted to her as a girl, then she begins to think that he doesn’t like her.

Since they are just communicating, they will continue to communicate. But the girl will start dating another guy.

Thus, the guy should take the first steps towards physical intimacy. A girl may not agree to hugs and kisses when you offer it to her. But you can really hold off for the first time, then try again. If a lot of time has passed and she does not agree to hug and kiss you, then this is a problem.

In any case, be persistent in your desires. Do not maintain your distance, but rather reduce it.

My tips and recommendations

When thinking about how to get out of the friend zone, take into account not only your own characteristics, but also the characteristics of your potential soul mate. There is no single recipe; you need to select unique tactics and strategies. For inspiration, you can turn to thematic films. Here is a list of inspiring paintings in which the characters managed to leave the friendship zone:

“The Simpleton”, 2020;
“Friendship and no sex?”, 2013;
“Just Friends”, 2005;
"When Harry Met Sally", 1989;
“Love, Rosie”, 2014;
"Pretend to be my wife", 2011.

Possible mistakes

There is no need to dedicate your chosen one to all your problems or become a vest for his tears. This way you won't get out of the friend zone.

When a guy or girl tries to get out of a friendly relationship, they may make the wrong actions that will not achieve the desired result. Here are some of them:

there is no need to shower your friend with gifts, as if hinting in this way that you want a more serious relationship;
there is no need to build a wall of ignore - this will only anger your friend;
you don’t need to become a vest for your friend, otherwise he will talk to you about his problems, but he will begin to build a love relationship with another person;
there is no need to make plans for the future with your friend, much less tell him about it when you doubt whether he has feelings.

Example from life

I have one friend, and she has a friend. Yes, the same friend who is firmly entrenched in the friend zone. He spoke openly and more than once about his feelings, offered to meet, but was refused. They continue to communicate, meet with friends or go somewhere together, sometimes sleep together (without sex). But no one is using anyone. They are really just friends, only he dreams of something else. However, at the same time, both he and she sometimes meet someone and build their personal lives. Who knows, maybe one day this guy will leave the friend zone. True, the girl is sure that this cannot happen.

This is exactly what I was already talking about. I think getting out of the friendzone for guys and girls depends more on who is friendzoning. Still, when meeting someone, and especially knowing him well, only we ourselves can decide whether a relationship is possible. At least hypothetically. If not, then nothing the other person does will change anything.

What do we have to do?

Do not dissuade the girl from her decision. Don't drool or snot. Accept a girl's decision like a man. She can change it if you try.
Do not isolate yourself from the girl and do not stop communicating. Girls perceive this behavior as an insult. And you know what they’re doing to those who are offended. If you are offended, the girl will be even more confirmed in her decision that she needs to communicate with you exclusively in a friendly way.
Don't go after her with kisses and hugs when you meet again as friends. The ideal would be if you change your role and start really communicating with her as a friend. For example, if she talks to you about her boyfriends, then don't be afraid to complain about girls you talk to other than her. Healthy jealousy can motivate you to change your mind.

If you are in the friend zone, it means you have done everything for it. Your behavior made the girl think about treating you as a friend. This means that she does not perceive you as a man, a guy. To get out of the friend zone, even if you are in it, you need to change your behavior:

Stop showing your love, affection, openness. Imagine that you are talking to a girl who is not interesting to you. She is a good conversationalist and nothing more.
Become an interesting conversationalist. Communicate on various topics, show a sense of humor, be smart and erudite.
Become the standard of a man. What kind of guys do modern girls choose? Take an interest in this topic. Strong, pumped up, smart, rich or beautiful. Ideally, become the kind of guy that attracts your girlfriend. She has her own type. You must learn about it and adapt yourself to it.
Become independent. While you were seeking the attention of your beloved, you gave her all your attention. Once you've become friends, it's time to change tactics. Don’t give up communication and meetings, but spend less time on all this. Mind your own business, sometimes disappear, sometimes don’t answer calls, and then call back yourself, saying you were busy. Don't let the girl think that you are suffering. Maybe you will notice that there are other girls worthy of your attention.
Give compliments. Don’t forget to please the girl, even if you are just communicating with her in a friendly manner. Give her compliments, give her a hand, help, but do it as if without interest. They gave me a hand, helped me get off, and removed me. They said a compliment and quickly moved on to another topic. Don't look at her with loving eyes. Remain cool, but not indifferent.

Girls really tend to change their minds over time, if only all the circumstances work out for this. If you become a man, she will be interested in you. But if you continue to behave the same as before you fell into the friend zone, you may forget about the successful outcome of events.

Is the friend zone good or bad?

From the point of view of the object of love, this is good, because there is always the opportunity to receive free help, spend free time in entertainment establishments, and simply not feel lonely. A tough friend zone turns into a real tragedy for a lover. A person suffers, suffers, but does not dare to break off this relationship, because he always hopes that it will develop into something more. He understands that he is essentially being used, but he cannot do anything about it.

Movies about the friend zone

The theme of unrequited love is very often used by filmmakers around the world. Famous paintings include:

“The Unyielding” directed by Yuri Chulyukin
. Legendary film of Soviet times. The main character took bail from her two colleagues, who tried to please the beautiful girl in everything, and she loved another.
"One Day" directed by Lone Scherfig
. The friend zone is presented in different ways in films. In this film, the couple remained friends for 23 years and then got married. And although the ending of the film is tragic, it teaches not to give up and to believe that love will overcome all obstacles and even death.
"More Than Love" directed by Nigel Cole
. The main character and heroine meet in the cabin of the plane and for many years communicate, support each other, remaining friends. Later they realize that they are connected by something more than just friendship.

Tips for girls

Most often, guys end up in the friend zone. It is much easier for them to overcome the problem. If a girl is included in the number of “friends”, it is difficult to get out of addiction. Psychologists recommend doing the following:

Start dating another guy, or at least pretend to. You need to make your “friend” jealous. If this feeling appears, you can hope for changes in the relationship in the right direction.
Stop listening to your chosen one’s problems and ignore conversations about his love affairs. The main task is to make the guy change his mind. We need to make sure that he understands that this is a girl in front of him, and not a bosom friend.
Do not allow or refuse “sex for friendship.” Some girls think that they can win their partner's heart through sexual intimacy. Sometimes intimacy really makes a man look at a girl differently. But it also happens that the guy continues to behave as before. It's even worse if he repeatedly emphasizes that sex doesn't mean anything.
We need to change. There are no standard rules. You just need to make the guy notice the changes. A good move is a new hairstyle, makeup, clothing style. Along with external changes, internal ones must occur. Now you shouldn’t run to your beloved friend at the first call, answer calls instantly, or carry on long correspondence at night. As soon as the guy realizes that the light doesn’t converge on him like a wedge, his girlfriend is getting out of control, he will start to get nervous. Then the connection will either be interrupted completely, or the relationship will move to another stage.
Disappear from sight. A temporary separation will benefit both partners. In a different environment, the girl begins to feel differently. In such a situation, she can understand whether she wants to continue the “friendly” relationship. The guy, when separated, realizes how dear his “girlfriend” is to him.

READ
Simple ways to attract a boy's attention as a teenager

Another option is to tell the truth about your feelings and that you are not satisfied with the friendship. Something needs to change: either break up or meet as a couple in love. Of course, you should give the man time to think about the situation. Three days is enough. Then you need to make a final decision.