How to get rid of fear for your child and become a happy mother
When a young mother realizes that she now has the responsibility of caring for a tiny baby, in addition to warm feelings towards the newborn, women experience real fears.
It’s good when a new mother has a confident husband, adequate grandmothers or friends who can support and reassure her, but what if not? Some mothers are prevented from enjoying motherhood by fear for their child; they panic and don’t know how and what to do with a screaming child! Stop panicking, because in just a few days you will return to normal and begin to handle your baby calmly and professionally. Let's look at the most common fears of young mothers and figure out how to cope with them.
- Three main fears and ways to deal with them
- Three groundless fears
- What else are young mothers afraid of?
Three main fears and ways to deal with them
One of the most common fears is the fear of holding a newborn baby in your arms . In this situation, you need to realize that one way or another, you still have to do it. Mom needs to relax and rely on maternal instinct, in fact, the baby is not so fragile, not a single normal woman would drop her own child and will be able to pick him up in the most correct way! Trust nature and just take your firstborn, enjoying its smell.
The child is hungry all the time and does not have enough milk. This is the second most popular fear for a child; unfortunately, many women begin to take this situation to the point of absurdity, weigh the baby before and after each feeding, start formula feeding and, as a result, completely abandon breastfeeding.
Of course, there are situations when, due to serious women’s health problems, it is necessary to transfer a child to formula feeding, but this rarely happens, and in most cases, the transfer to artificial feeding occurs due to unnecessary panic. A young mother needs to relax, be alone with her newborn and put him to her breast as many times as necessary.
It is so laid down by nature that the baby will take exactly as much milk as his body needs at his current age. When you are a month old during a routine examination, you will see an increase in weight, but even here you should not panic if it is not very large, it is necessary to take into account the individual characteristics of the child’s body, its constitution, you must understand that with medium-sized parents, the child will not gain weight. as much as stated in the standards.
Three groundless fears
If the baby cries all the time , mothers also begin to get upset and think that they are doing something wrong. Understand that crying is the only way a little person can still attract the attention of his mother, so he cries when he is hungry, went to the toilet, is cold or hot, in a word, for any reason. Well, a couple of days will be enough for mom to understand the reason for this or that crying and eliminate it in a matter of seconds.
The fear of giving a baby a bath is also one of the most popular among young parents, and it becomes especially complicated if the child is afraid of water. Here you need to gain a little experience, if the mother herself is afraid to carry out the first water procedures with the baby, call your husband for help and with just four hands you will probably quickly make your baby clean in a matter of minutes.
Some mothers worry that the baby may quickly freeze and therefore wrap him in several layers of diapers. However, you should not overdo it with clothes, because overheating can have a much worse effect on the child’s body. It is believed that the optimal temperature for a child is 20 degrees; hang a thermometer in the room, ventilate the room more often and do not overheat the baby.
What else are young mothers afraid of?
Fear for the health of the child in front of diapers in young mothers, as a rule, instills in the older generation of women. There is no need to panic and suffer with a thousand diapers, now any mother is able to choose diapers to suit her “taste”, she just needs to do air baths more often. Diapers make life much easier for parents, so you shouldn’t stop using them.
The fear that something might happen to the baby in his sleep sometimes forces young mothers to run to the crib every few minutes, tormenting themselves with sleepless nights and not allowing them to do anything during the day. Of course, such cases occur, but their percentage is negligible. But if the mother constantly torments herself with bad thoughts and constant fears for the child’s life, then the baby will sleep anxiously, so you need to set yourself up for the positive and calmly perceive the time when the baby is sleeping.
And almost every young mother thinks that she is a “bad” mother, wife and housewife, since she has absolutely no time to do anything. Believe me, it’s just a matter of time and self-organization; it won’t be long before you start managing cooking, caring for your baby, and you’ll also have time to spend half an hour on yourself.
There is nothing complicated about how to get rid of fear for your child: try to invent various fears for yourself less, drive bad thoughts out of your head, and life with your baby will open up a completely different world for you, full of new impressions, emotions and the joy of motherhood! You just need to get used to the fact that there is now a small child growing up in your family, accept it and learn to live with him.
Author: Kurakhmaeva Irina Nikolaevna
REASONS OF IMPROPER PARENTING
Home Favorites Random article Educational New additions Feedback FAQThe reasons for improper parenting are very different. Sometimes these are certain circumstances
in family life, more often - the low pedagogical culture of parents. In these cases, outreach and reasonable therapy can help. Often the main role is played by the personality disorders of the parents themselves. In this case, two groups of reasons are of particular interest to the specialist (E. G. Eidemiller).
1. Deviations in the character of the parents themselves.
Character deviations and psychopathy often lead to certain disorders in upbringing. With unstable character accentuation, the parent is more often inclined to conduct an education characterized by a reduced level of demands on the child. Epileptoid accentuation of parents more often than others determines a cruel parenting style and dominance. The dominance style can be determined either by the sensitive or conformist nature of the parents. Hysterical accentuation in a parent determines a contradictory parenting style: demonstrative care and love for the child in front of spectators and emotional rejection in their absence. In these cases, it is necessary to identify the deviation of the parents’ character and make sure that it is this that plays a decisive role in the occurrence of disorders in upbringing. In this case, the main attention of the psychotherapist, school psychologist and teacher is directed to parents’ awareness of the relationship between their character traits, parenting style and behavioral disorders of the teenager.
2. Personal problems of parents, solved at the expense of the teenager.
In this case, the basis of educational disorders is some kind of, most often unconscious, need. This is what the parent is trying to satisfy by raising the teenager. In this case, explaining to the parent the wrongness of his behavior and persuading him to change his parenting style are ineffective. The psychotherapist is faced with the difficult task of identifying the parent’s personal problem, helping him to realize it, and removing the action of defense mechanisms that prevent such awareness. It is these cases, as practice shows, that pose particular difficulties in diagnosis and correction.
Expanding the sphere of parental feelings. Conditional violation: increased protection (indulging or dominating). This source of disruption to upbringing occurs most often when, for some reason, marital relations between parents are disrupted: either there is no spouse (died, divorced), or the relationship with him does not satisfy the parent who plays the main role in upbringing (emotional coldness, inconsistency of characters). Often, the mother (less often the father), without realizing it, wants the child, and later the teenager, to become for them something more than just a child. They want him to satisfy at least part of the needs that in an ordinary family should be satisfied in the course of a marital relationship (mutual exclusive affection, partly erotic needs). The relationship with the child, and later the teenager, becomes exclusive and important for the parent. The mother often refuses to remarry. There is a desire to give the son “all my feelings,” “all my love.” In childhood, erotic relationships with the mother are stimulated (jealousy, childhood love). During adolescence, the parent develops a fear of the teenager’s growing independence. There is a desire to keep it with the help of indulgent or dominant hyperprotection.
The desire to expand specifically marital relations, as a rule, is not recognized by the mother herself (it is strictly taboo). This desire is manifested indirectly, in particular, in statements that she does not need anyone except her son, in the characteristic contrast between an idealized relationship with her son and an unsatisfying relationship with her husband. Sometimes such mothers are aware of their jealousy towards their son's girlfriends, although more often they rationalize it in the form of numerous nagging towards them.
Preference for childish qualities in adolescents. Conditional violations in upbringing: pandering hyperprotection. In this case, parents tend to ignore their children’s maturation and stimulate their childish qualities (children’s impulsiveness,
spontaneity, playfulness). For such parents, the teenager is still “small”. Often they openly admit that they generally like small ones better, which is not so interesting with
Considering a teenager as “still small,” parents reduce the level of requirements for him, creating pandering hyperprotection, stimulating the development of mental infantilism.
Educational uncertainty of parents. Conditional violation in upbringing: indulgent hyperprotection or reduced level of requirements. In this case, due to some psychological characteristics of the parents, a redistribution of power in the family occurs between the parent and the teenager. The parent follows the teenager’s lead, giving in even on issues in which, in their own opinion, it is impossible to give in. This happens because the child managed to find an approach to this parent, find his “weak spot” and uses this to achieve a situation of “minimum requirements - maximum rights.” A typical combination in this case: a lively, self-confident teenager who boldly puts forward demands, and an indecisive parent who blames himself for all failures with the teenager. One of the options for a “weak point” is associated with the psychasthenic characteristics of the parent. The parent’s relationship with his own parents could have played a certain role in the formation of this feature. Under certain conditions, children raised by demanding and egocentric parents, upon becoming adults, see in their children the same demanding egocentric beings and experience towards them the same feeling of “unpaid debt” that they previously experienced towards their own parents. A characteristic feature of the statements of such parents is the recognition of a lot of mistakes made in upbringing. Such parents are afraid of their children’s stubbornness and resistance and find quite a few reasons to give in to them.
Phobia of losing a child. Conditioned violation: hyperprotection (indulging or dominating). “Weak point” - increased uncertainty of parents,
fear of making a mistake, exaggeration of ideas about the fragility of the “child”, his illness - all this could develop in connection with the history of the child’s birth (they waited a long time for him, visits to doctors did not yield anything, he was born fragile and sickly, it was with great difficulty that he was able to get out , etc. .). Another source is the child’s severe illnesses, especially if they were long-term. The parents' relationship with the teenager in this case is formed under the influence of the accumulated fear of losing the child. This fear forces some parents to anxiously listen to every wish of the teenager and rush to fulfill it (indulging hyperprotection), others to tirelessly patronize him (dominant hyperprotection).
Underdevelopment of parental feelings. Conditional disorders of upbringing: hypoprotection, emotional rejection, “increased moral responsibility,” cruel treatment. Education becomes adequate only when parents are driven by some fairly strong motives: a sense of duty, sympathy, love for the child, the need to “realize themselves” in children, to “continue themselves.” Weakness and underdevelopment of parental feelings are often found among parents of teenagers with character deviations. At the same time, this phenomenon is very rarely realized, and even less often recognized by such parents. Outwardly, it manifests itself in a reluctance to deal with a teenager, in poor tolerance of his company, in a superficial interest in his affairs. The reason for the underdevelopment of parental feelings may be the rejection of the parent himself in childhood by his parents, the fact that he himself did not receive parental warmth at one time. Another reason may be the parent’s character traits, for example, schizoidism. Parental feelings are often much weaker in very young parents, intensifying with age (loving grandparents). Under difficult, stressful living conditions, a significant part of parental responsibilities is either transferred to the teenager (“increased moral responsibility”), or an irritable and hostile attitude arises towards him. Typical
The statements of such parents contain complaints about the tediousness of parental responsibilities, regret that these responsibilities take them away from something more important and interesting. For women with an undeveloped sense of parenthood, emancipatory aspirations are quite typical.
Projection of one's own undesirable qualities onto a teenager. Conditional parenting disorder: emotional rejection, cruel parenting. The reason for raising a teenager this way is often that in the teenager that he feels but does not recognize in himself. This could be aggressiveness, a tendency toward laziness, a craving for alcohol, certain sexual inclinations, an excessive desire for resistance, protest, or incontinence. By fighting the same true or imaginary qualities in a teenager, the parent (usually the father) derives emotional benefit from this for himself. Fighting an undesirable quality in someone else helps him believe that he himself does not have this quality. These parents talk a lot and willingly about their intransigence and constant struggle with the negative traits and weaknesses of the teenager, about the measures and punishments that they apply in this regard. In the statements of the parents, one can see the disbelief of the son; inquisitorial intonations are not uncommon with a characteristic desire to identify the “true”, i.e., bad reason in any action. This reason is most often a quality that the parent unconsciously struggles with.
Introducing conflict between spouses into the sphere of education. Conditional parenting disorders: contradictory parenting style - a combination of the indulgent hyperprotection of one parent with the rejection or dominant hyperprotection of the other. Conflict in relationships between spouses is a common occurrence even in relatively stable families. Parenting often turns into a “battlefield” for conflicting parents. Here they get the opportunity to most openly express dissatisfaction with each other, guided by “concern for the welfare of the child.” Wherein
The difference in the opinions of parents is often diametrical: one insists on a very strict upbringing (like dominant hyperprotection), while the other parent is inclined to “pity” the teenager. He gravitates toward a parenting style of pandering hyperprotection. A typical manifestation is an expression of dissatisfaction with the educational methods of the other spouse. At the same time, it is easy to discover that everyone is interested not so much in how to raise a teenager, but in who is right in educational disputes.
Shifts in attitudes towards a teenager depending on the gender of the teenager. The conditioned violation of upbringing is hyperprotection, emotional rejection. Often, a parent’s attitude towards a teenager is determined not by the teenager’s actual characteristics, but by those traits that the parent attributes to his gender, that is, “generally men” or “generally women.” Thus, if there is a preference for feminine qualities, there is an unconscious rejection of a male teenager. In these cases, stereotypical negative judgments about men in general are typical: “Men are mostly rude and unkempt. They easily give in to animal urges, they are aggressive and overly sexual, and prone to alcoholism. A person—both man and woman—should strive for the opposite qualities: to be gentle, delicate, neat, restrained in feelings.” An example of a manifestation is a father who sees a lot of shortcomings in his son and believes that all his peers are like that. At the same time, this father is “crazy” about the teenager’s younger sister and sees only merit in her. In this case, a style of emotional rejection is formed in relation to a male teenager. The opposite bias is also possible - with a pronounced anti-feminist attitude, disdain for the teenager’s mother and his sisters. Under these conditions, a style of pandering hyperprotection is formed towards the teenager himself.
4.14. WAYS TO OVERCOME CONFLICT BETWEEN PARENTS AND ADOLESCENTS
Sometimes parents suppress the teenager’s desires, and he is forced to retreat, submit, harboring a grudge against adults; sometimes parents give in to the teenager, experiencing feelings of indignation, powerlessness and resentment. Both of these methods are not the best, if only because someone inevitably ends up losing. But a win-win option is also possible, which embodies the search for a solution that satisfies the needs of both parties - both parents and child. Finding a solution is achieved using a special technique - “Six Steps”.
The first step is to define the problem. Here it is necessary to find out the reasons for the unacceptable behavior of a child or adult. To this end, it is most useful to listen carefully to him, and then tell him about your needs and experiences using “I statements.” The first step should be completed with a definition or formulation of the problem (for example: “How can I communicate with friends without disturbing my mother?”).
The second step is to search for possible solutions. We need to look for them together. First, it is useful to go through all the options that come to mind, even if they, at first glance, seem unsuitable. This can be a kind of “brainstorming”, when any idea is proposed and none of them is criticized.
The third step is discussion and evaluation of the proposed solution options. The initial principle here is the same: the needs of both parties - both the child and the adult - must be met.
The fourth step is choosing the best solution. At the same time, you need to ask each other questions: “If we use this idea, what will happen? Will everyone be happy? What is wrong with this solution?”
The decision made can be recorded in writing, have both parties sign a “contract”. It’s more reliable this way, although, at first glance, it seems like there’s no point.
The fifth step is to determine how to implement this solution:
what needs to be done, who will be responsible for this or that clause of the “contract”.
The sixth step is to evaluate how well the intended course of action solves the problem. At the same time, it is useful to ask each other: has the problem gone away? Are you happy with what we did?
METHODS OF PEDAGOGICAL
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How to get rid of increased anxiety
What should parents do who worry about their children 24 hours a day and cannot cope with their own anxiety?
- The most important thing is not to blame yourself for constantly worrying and controlling your children. Every parent worries about their children, and that's normal. It is important to take all measures so that your anxiety does not interfere with enjoying life.
- 2. Find out what is the cause of the anxiety. For example, if you are concerned about your child's safety, do everything you can to protect him from dangerous situations. Hide all medications, as well as piercing and cutting objects in an inaccessible place, put locks on the windows, do not let your child play with small objects, etc.
- Avoid people who increase your anxiety levels. If your child is sick, contact a competent specialist whom you trust, and do not go to the Internet for advice on how to treat your child. To those who give out useless advice, clearly and firmly explain that you are a mother and know better how to raise and raise your child.
- Take time for yourself. We must not forget that you are a living person who sometimes needs to relax, unwind, and meet with friends. You should not sacrifice your life for the sake of a child: firstly, it is a useless sacrifice, secondly, your son or daughter will not appreciate it, and thirdly, this will only make things worse for the whole family.
- If symptoms of increased anxiety do not subside, consult a specialist. A psychologist will work with you on the issues that worry you and help you get rid of the obsessive feeling.
Don't worry if your child has been eating mac and cheese for months or only chooses the color purple.
There are no abnormalities in this, and do not try to look for them in absolutely healthy children. Listen less to useless advice and enjoy parenting, because children grow so quickly, and soon they themselves will worry about their babies. leave a comment
Are you afraid that your child will catch coronavirus? Here's what you need to know first
Author:
therapist Ukrainian Andrey
1 minute
More than 80 countries, including Russia, are reporting cases of COVID-19 infection. Parents' concerns about their children becoming infected with the new virus are understandable. It is important to know that during the current outbreak, the disease has been very rarely reported among children. The Conversation website looked into what parents need to know about coronavirus.
How often do children get sick with COVID-19?
The number of children who have contracted COVID-19 remains low. The study, which analyzed the incidence when there were about 44 thousand cases of infection in the world, found that the proportion of children affected was less than 1%. There were no deaths recorded in this age group. In Australia, only one child fell ill; such cases are unknown in Russia.
Why children rarely get sick with COVID-19
Scientists don't know exactly why the incidence among children is so low. Among the possible reasons they name:
· Rare contact of children with the virus.
· A small number of children who were infected.
· A small number of affected children develop symptoms severe enough to require medical attention.
Although children typically develop mild symptoms when they become infected with COVID-19, they play a role in the spread of the disease. Children are active, the disease may have little effect on their activity, so they can come into contact with a large number of people. School closures may be used to prevent COVID-19 epidemics.
Symptoms of COVID-19 in children
Chinese doctors report that in children the disease often manifests itself only as cough, nasal congestion, increased nasal discharge, diarrhea and headache. Fever develops in less than half of cases.
Most children and teenagers with COVID-19 in China had mild illness and recovered within one to two weeks. Even young children, who are often more prone to developing severe respiratory infections, had mild COVID-19.
How to prevent COVID-19 in children
COVID-19 is transmitted primarily through airborne droplets. You can become infected if, after touching various surfaces contaminated with the virus, you touch the mucous membrane of your eyes, nose or mouth.
The best way to prevent COVID-19 (as well as other respiratory infections) is to regularly wash your hands with water. When sneezing and coughing, cover your mouth with a tissue or the bend of your elbow.
Masks are not considered effective in preventing COVID-19 in everyday life, but they help prevent sick people from infecting others. A vaccine against COVID-19 has not yet been developed.
Condemnation
Mothers often come under fire from criticism from relatives, acquaintances or virtual interlocutors. People can be judged for everything: having or not having vaccinated, breastfeeding or formula feeding, potty training at an early age, or putting on a diaper at two years old. And there is also such a term “jam”, which can be pinned on any woman if she defends her child. Even mothers who are not particularly suspicious will begin to doubt whether they are doing everything right. Maybe you really shouldn’t send your baby to kindergarten, as other mothers advise on the forum? Maybe I harmed my son because I gave him all his vaccinations according to the calendar? I am a bad mother, because my daughter has been bottle-fed since birth. Panic sets in, and the woman tries to find the right answers to numerous questions on the Internet, which further aggravates her anxiety.
Instability
Previously, our parents and grandparents knew what awaited them in 5-10 years. Everything was planned: at the age of 7 the child went to a Soviet school, in the summer they sent the children to villages or went to Crimea, after school the children entered a university. Now it is unknown what will happen tomorrow. Money saved for a summer vacation may lose value. The husband may lose his job, and the child may not be able to go to the nearest kindergarten, and he will have to be taken to the other end of the city. Or even look for work from home, so as not to take the child to kindergarten, because there they may not feed him or hurt him. In general, there are many reasons for concern.
The topic of anxiety for loved ones has been raised more than once in my materials, but questions continue to come. It is especially difficult to follow my recommendations - to allow loved ones to go their own way (even if they make mistakes), to believe in them and just take care of themselves - when it comes to children.
Today, using examples from the lives of my listeners, I want to once again demonstrate why and how this works.
— My son (24 years old) has had boils on his face for five years now. How can we help? Is there anything I can do? I can't help but notice them...
To begin with, I will say that any inflammation of the skin is not a physiological problem. This is a problem associated with deep-seated suppressed anger and lack of self-acceptance.
But whatever the true causes of this “disease,” as long as the mother believes that this is the worst thing that can happen to the child, that this is an obstacle to his life, such an attitude only aggravates the problem. In general, any dissatisfaction of the mother with regards to the child about anything - career, fulfillment, money, profession, girls, status, health - only aggravates the problem.
It is important to understand that this is not an accidental “adventure of the soul” - to take on conditions in which, through the external expression of an internal problem, a person is forced to reconsider his life . And in what way your son will revise it - you cannot understand, since you are a person of a different generation and different realities, and also not a man.
The difficulties of life appear for a reason along the path of life. This is similar to playing a quest; I have already given this analogy. The quest has certain conditions, pre-prepared obstacles: climb between labyrinths, tying your arms to your body, for example, and emerge victorious. A person comes into this Life in order to ultimately grow above himself, so that, despite difficulties, he can love himself, accept, understand, etc., and you strive to free his hands and remove obstacles - i.e. depriving him of the opportunity to feel like a winner!
You cannot cope for a child. He must live it himself as best he can. And he will live, no doubt! Your task is to love the child with all these rashes, without fixing your attention on them.
After all, even a completely leper person can be loved! Only our passion for excellence motivates us to get rid of the “bad”. But it's not bad! This is only a component of the quest, it is an accepted condition of the game, despite which you reach the goal. And this is temporary, sooner or later the game will end and the person will be freed.
But on my own, without your help. You can directly tell your child: “I can’t help you. It’s hard for me to put up with this, but I try to believe that it will pass, because someday you will want to feel differently and will look for ways to do this.”
It is not for you to judge for what reasons he lives this and why he came up with these conditions for himself. Your task is to love him right like that and right now. Believe in his path and feel at peace with yourself.
— How can you influence your son’s fatness? His dad puts pressure on him, pinches his stomach, and forces him to exercise physically. My son doesn’t like physical activity, gets tired quickly, and starts whining. I myself, it seems to me, am no longer demanding of him, but sometimes it comes to me... What could be causing this extra fullness and what can I do to prevent him from gaining weight? Diet is not my option, and that’s not the point, I think.
First, read the book “Children-Mattresses and Children-Disasters”. You have a normal crystal child. It’s normal for him not to want to fight, not to want physical education, to get along well with his little sister, not to be burdened by his belly, etc.
And he will not want physical activity, because it is very inconvenient for him. You can only captivate him. For a son at this age, it is not his father’s example that is important, but his mother’s, because Mom is a key figure for him. If you are happy to do it, encouraging him to do it too, he will definitely join.
I know your situation, I know how you treated your son before... And it was precisely with his fullness that he defended himself from your pressure. I am glad that now you have greatly changed your attitude towards him. And the situation will definitely normalize over time.
But no matter how you change your attitude towards yourself and your attitude towards your son, it is worth supporting him by changing your diet. You see, eating buckwheat with tomatoes at home instead of a roll with butter is not a diet, it is normal nutrition. There should be no foods at home that provoke overeating. If you exclude white bread, exclude sweets and soda, you will see that naturally within a month or two the situation will begin to change.
This is how you can really help your son. But the rest is the same - believe in him and love him for who he is.
“I feel terrible anxiety for the children: that they will suffer, that they will be outcasts in the yard, that it will be very painful for them if they are pushed away... As a result, I choose the lesser of two evils and do not let them walk on the street.” If only my child did not feel a minute or a second of rejection or pain, when they don’t want to be friends with you or when you were betrayed... It turns out that I’m preventing my sons from feeling their own feelings and living their lives?
You attribute your feelings to children, but our children have completely different feelings!
The emotionality of modern children is based not on the fear of being hurt, but on indignation that he was prevented from living the way he wants . And it is very useful for them to sometimes receive obstruction in their interactions with others in order to understand that other people also want to live their own way and have the right to do so. Those. For them, “graters” in relationships have a completely different meaning – educational.
By attributing your feelings to children and assigning meaning to their states, you hinder them, you prevent them from freeing themselves. Any of their states, even if it is insult to tears, are planned by them.
The more you take care of yourself, the more you gain a sense of self-sufficiency, the more you entrust your children to the angels, the easier and faster their “problems” will resolve.
We cannot solve their problems instead of children and generally want to solve their problems. Because these problems are a simulator that they created for themselves in order to pump up their spiritual muscles.
Life is a “developing Game” in which we learn to discover our talents. Until you find yourself in a testing situation, you will not know what you are capable of. Therefore, you should not think that difficulties and trials are something you need to get rid of. This is what a person wants to overcome, his soul wants. And our help consists only in the fact that we ourselves are fine at this moment and believe that he will definitely do it in the way he needs.
In fear for a child, his failure or insolvency, a large part is our fear about ourselves. Fear that we will turn out to be “bad” if not “laying down straws”; that those around us will obstruct us, and the grown child will accuse us of insufficient help. And behind these assessments lies an even deeper layer: the fear of being rejected. In order to drown out this fear of their own “failure,” parents often commit absurd actions that only aggravate “testing” situations and complicate the relationship with the child. Therefore, fears for children are primarily our fears. And in your life, you are the master (unlike the life of a child) and you have the opportunity in a difficult situation to deal with the question: “what does this mean for me?”
Only when we are focused on our own life resource and love children unconditionally, in any experience and situation, we are a support for them. This can be very difficult, but it is possible. And you will certainly see results.
Materials on the topic:
Audio recording “About concern for children”
A selection of materials for parents
Publication “Anxiety for loved ones” (in two parts)
Publication “The best thing we can do for our children”
