Why we don’t finish what we start and how to deal with it

Stages of task completion

If you are reading this article, then you are familiar with the phrase “I don’t finish things.” Not everyone realizes that any undertaking goes through a number of stages in the process of achieving results. Some cope, reaching the final stage, and get an excellent result, some stop at the second, third, and some even at the first stage, unable to finish their work. Let's look at what stages you will encounter on the way to achieving your goal.

1. The first stage is unfounded optimism. A person is visited by positive thoughts, he is full of strength and energy, is in an excellent mood, and is ready to realize his desire. Does not notice possible negative aspects of the upcoming task.
2. The second stage is informational pessimism. The task becomes more clear, noticeable difficulties appear, and excitement arises. The first victories are insignificant, the future result no longer seems real. Thoughts appear in your head that you can abandon your goal. Mood drops significantly, energy decreases, skepticism arises, and the task seems overwhelming.
3. The third stage is the time of despair. Many people quit what they started at this stage. Difficulties appear in completing tasks, all the negative aspects of the goal are evident. A person begins to think that “it’s not worth it.” Often people give up on their idea, abandon it, but after a short period of time they light up again and are eager to finish what they started.
4. The fourth stage is informational optimism. If a person does not give up before reaching this stage, then at this stage he can feel the correctness of his decision. The mood improves, the first, albeit small, results appear. Completing the task does not seem as difficult as it once was. There is confidence and understanding that everything can be completed.
5. The fifth stage is self-realization and success. The goal has been achieved, a surge of positive emotions and increased self-esteem are felt.

Possible reasons for failure

When faced with difficulties, people often give up without completing the task.

1. The main reason why a person most often quits his business is when he encounters difficulties. Some people give up at the first obstacle, others continue to fight, but gradually lose their motivation.
2. Another common reason is internal sabotage that prevents the achievement of goals. In this case, the roots can grow from childhood: parents criticized for mistakes, punished for mistakes, often told the child not to take on a new endeavor - “nothing will work out anyway, you won’t be able to finish what you started.”

Let's look at other contributing factors:

• characteristics of temperament;
• engaging in an activity that does not correspond to a person’s interests;
• the case when an individual takes on too many responsibilities and simply does not have time to cope with everything;
• perfectionism;
• lack of personal interest in the result;
• procrastination;
• lack of a clear goal. For example, when an individual says that he wants to lose excess weight, we are not talking about the true goal. But if he says that he wants to lose 2 kg, then yes.

I often encountered a similar problem. It was all due to lack of confidence in my abilities and fear of the first difficulties, which, when faced with them, I immediately gave up. But over time, I realized that I need to fight my fears, set a goal and go towards achieving it, no matter what. Now I am prepared in advance for the fact that some difficulties may arise in my work, but overcoming them only makes me stronger.

Don't forget to praise

It often happens that a child does some important and great thing, but does not feel that he is moving forward. Because of this, progress gradually stops, and interest in the activity disappears.

How to respond: praise. Praise has never hurt anyone, and up to a certain age a child measures his success by whether adults praise him or not. And to feel successful in business means to want to move on and finish what you started.

It is important to praise correctly. Evaluate not the child’s personality, but what he has done. Not “Well done!”, but “How great you embroidered the kitten’s head! I can imagine how beautiful the whole picture will turn out!”, “This line with the letter “I” was especially successful for you!”

How to finish what you start

1. It's time to decide on your priorities. Before taking on a new task, you need to weigh all the pros and cons and make sure that this task is really necessary for you. You also need to consider whether you have enough time to complete the task. It is important to determine for yourself what the goal is, some kind of experiment or an important commitment? You need to understand that you can say goodbye to the first one halfway, and there is nothing wrong with that, but abandoning the obligation is unacceptable. So, if there is a long-term project ahead, and you are in doubt whether to take on it or not, then before agreeing, conduct a small experiment. For example, if you decide to sit down to write a book, start with a small article; perhaps in the process of writing you realize that you do not want to devote a lot of time to this matter. It is possible that you will encounter problems that will discourage you from doing this. If you see that the project is really interesting to you, you will be able to complete the task, even if for some reason you lose motivation halfway through. When you understand how to set priorities correctly, learn to treat tasks more responsibly, sort them, giving preference to the most important ones, you will have enough time to complete them and bring them to their logical conclusion.
2. You need to be prepared for a bad result. Many people, when taking on a task, are initially full of enthusiasm. But when they encounter the first difficulties, they give up, which leads to a refusal to complete the task. Therefore, you need to prepare yourself in advance for the fact that difficulties will appear on your way, but you will need to overcome them. When you take on a new job on a project, try to predict the possibility of doubts, difficulties that arise along the way, even imagine the moment of loss of motivation and the desire to say goodbye to this project. After this, draw in your head that you were able to understand the situation and found the strength to move on. When you are already completing the task, you will encounter real difficulties, it is possible that they will be more difficult than you expected, and it is possible that you will lose your balance. However, the blow would not be so strong if it came as a surprise to you, which means you will be able to withstand it and nothing will stop you from moving on.
3. Always give yourself extra motivation. It is necessary to understand that willpower is not an infinite resource; you should not rely on it. External pressure is necessary to strengthen the will. So, for example, when setting a task for yourself, you can motivate yourself by the fact that if you fail to complete it, you will have to give a friend or relative a certain amount of money that is significant to you. The thought of having to say goodbye to finances will force you to move on.
4. Don't spend too much time on the planning process. This does not mean that you should get down to business without preparation, thoughtlessly. What we're talking about here is that some people spend literally hours trying to get started on a task. Your goal is to act as quickly as possible. Of course, planning contributes to work, however, for you it can turn into a form of procrastination. But don’t think that the lack of a plan is an opportunity to postpone the task for a while.
5. Set an alarm. You must understand that your task is not to do everything as perfectly as possible; set deadlines for yourself. If you take on a task, set a time to complete it and not a minute more. You can also plan on spending two hours each day to complete a certain project. When you sit down to do this task, set a timer for a specific time. This way you will have temporary pressure, which will contribute to faster work, and the decision-making stages will be simplified.
6. Get ready for the fact that you cannot do without creating “garbage”. A person should not think that completing assigned tasks will always be as perfect as possible. Surely, there will be bad results of your work, those that you would not like to see, but this is not a reason to stop. Mistakes and failures are your experience and you must learn from it and move on.
7. Don't sit around waiting for inspiration to strike you. A person himself can create an environment that will contribute to the emergence of this very inspiration. It is important to be consistent in your actions. You can resort to certain rituals to complete your tasks. This way you will get used to the fact that consistent actions help optimize all the internal forces of the body and achieve your goals.
8. Learn to understand that inaction brings more problems and pain than the difficulties you encounter in the process of performing any task. It is also worth understanding that the more difficult the task, the more positive emotions you will feel upon its completion.
9. There is no need to focus on mandatory success. Every person can have mistakes and failures, that’s why we are human. It is also worth understanding that the work performed by someone can be considered as most successful at the moment when words of criticism can be heard from other people.
10. Kill the procrastinator and perfectionist in yourself. Certain individuals need to gather their strength before completing a task. Such people are frightened by the work process, which takes a lot of effort and time. Therefore, they begin to look for an opportunity to be distracted by something, to do something else, and look for excuses that allow them to postpone the task to the next day. Procrastination occurs for a number of reasons, one of which is fear of a new task or task. A procrastinator is unable to properly plan his working time, as a result of which a large portion of his energy is wasted. Such people spend much longer on a task that could take literally an hour. Perfectionists strive to do everything perfectly, crave every little detail, and do not allow themselves to progress in completing a task until everything is as perfect as possible. As a result, they also waste a lot of time, exhaust themselves, and lead to a nervous breakdown.

Explain the benefits of complexity

It's no secret that things are often abandoned after encountering difficulties. The girl liked to dance in a beautiful dress. So that later they would clap her or give her flowers. And when it became necessary to practice stretching, and it’s painful and boring, and the teacher scolds that it’s not working, there’s a scandal at home: “I won’t go to the dance!” The parent’s task at such a moment is to show that failure is not the end of the world. It’s just a stepping stone for further success.

How to react: “Didn’t work? Let's try again!" If it didn’t work out again, offer your help to the child: “Maybe we can ask Maria Ivanovna to work with you additionally?” Or “Let’s look on the Internet to find out how this chess problem is solved.”

Did your child lose in a competition? Explain what happens. Yes, it's very disappointing. But this is not a reason to quit sports. You need to practice and the results will come.

Be sure to express your child’s emotions when faced with difficulties: “I understand that you are bitter and offended - you trained a lot, but the reward did not go to you.” Explain that you share these feelings. But believe in the child’s strength. It will become a little easier for him to complete things.

Adviсe

Think about the pleasure you will get from finishing something you started.

1. Analyze the reasons that lead to loss of interest in completing a task.
2. Learn to concentrate on business. You cannot be distracted by anything or anyone, giving up on your task.
3. Keep yourself within strict limits, never take on a new task if you have not yet finished what you started.
4. If you are convinced that you are definitely not able to fulfill your plans, abandon your plan completely. Don't leave it hanging.
5. Immediately perform the actions that can be done first, do not leave them for later.
6. If you have a difficult task to complete, do it in the morning, without interruption. If you get distracted, you will have to plunge into a complex problem again, which will require extra strength and energy.
7. Try to optimize your strength, complete the assigned tasks as quickly as possible, and do not prolong the process.
8. Use not only your experience, but also that of others, because in this way you will be able to save time.
9. Divide complex tasks into simpler ones. Do everything step by step and consistently.
10. Praise yourself for the work you have done, support, encourage yourself.
11. Don't compare your personality to someone else. Evaluate yourself from the perspective of who you were before and who you have become today.
12. Don't beat yourself up for mistakes you've made. Everyone allows them. This is how we become more experienced, wiser and stronger.
13. There is no need to try to transfer your affairs to someone else, look for support in your close circle. Find resources within yourself.

You should have realized that you are not the only person who does not complete the task; there are many such people. But not everyone knows how to deal with this. Follow the recommendations outlined in the article, and you will definitely succeed, you will be able to achieve great results, and become a successful person.

Don't let you get bored

It happens that children give up as soon as they get bored. This is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, there are so many interesting things in life and childhood is an excellent period to try different clubs, sections, and fun things. If you get bored in one thing, try your strength in another. But, on the other hand, any business, turning into a routine, becomes boring. And so the child practiced the piano, and soon it began: “I’m tired of hammering out these nasty scales from morning to night!” And indeed, scales are a boring task. But you can’t go anywhere without them!

How to react: sit down and outline the prospects for classes with your child - to refresh your memory a little about why you once chose this circle or section. And set the condition: “You study until the end of the year. If you still want to give up everything, have it your way.” Well, by the end of the year, the child will either get involved in classes, or really become convinced that this is not his business. And his wishes must be listened to.