Is your glass half empty? Do not be afraid; your pessimism may benefit you more than you think. Our culture encourages us to think positively. Pessimism is usually seen as a disadvantage or obstacle - but can it have its advantages?
Pessimism
often defined as the expectation of negative outcomes, especially in the collective consciousness. People who tend to see the glass as half empty rather than half full are perceived as the messengers of doom and gloom. More importantly, pessimism is sometimes associated with health risks. One study, for example, concluded that pessimists are at increased risk of dying from heart disease.
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Why do people become pessimists?
There is a saying that a pessimist is the same as an optimist, only well-informed. There is some truth in every joke, since impressionable and suggestible people are often prone to negative thinking. They are fearful, unconfident in their abilities, endlessly expecting a catch in any situation and constantly looking for confirmation of their fears. Negative thoughts corrode their consciousness like rust , moreover, they can infect others with their mood. Pessimism is caused by various reasons:
- A series of failures in life, as a result of which a person loses faith in his own strength;
- Personality: melancholic people are naturally characterized by uncertainty and increased anxiety;
- Resentment towards other people, psychological trauma.
Often, under the mask of a pessimist, there is an ordinary lazy person who justifies his reluctance to act with the words: “I won’t succeed anyway.”
Why is that bad?
According to psychologists, people with a negative attitude most often fail in business. It is he who dooms almost all their endeavors to failure. A constant feeling of anxiety and a depressed state of mind sooner or later lead to depression. A negative attitude seriously tests the cardiovascular system , because under stress, an increased dose of the hormone cortisol is released into the body, which increases blood viscosity. This serves as a prerequisite for the development of strokes, heart attacks, and thrombosis. It is also more difficult for a pessimist to give up bad habits or switch to a healthy lifestyle.
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By getting rid of resentments, phobias, nervousness and fears, you will gain self-confidence. Thinking positively does not mean ignoring difficulties. It is necessary to learn to comprehend, experience and cope with life's adversities. Optimism or pessimism is not given to us from birth, it is everyone’s choice. This means that it is also within our power to revise it.
A little about pessimism and optimism
Before research, pessimism and optimism existed as philosophical concepts. Among the prominent representatives of the philosophy of pessimism are Hartmann and Schopenhauer; according to them, the world is not just bad, but even hopeless. Pessimists often discuss the meaning of life. What is the point of birth if life ends in death anyway? Why is the world filled with evil and suffering?
As a rule, as a result of such discussions, pessimists come to the conclusion that the world is inherently vicious, and humanity is unable to change anything and will never change anything. However, most people with such views are no different from others; they also create families and go to work.
Despite such popular “pessimistic” ideas, optimism also has well-known representatives. As a rule, in philosophy, a positive worldview is associated with Gottfried Leibniz, who believes that humanity lives in the best of all worlds.
A little humor: there are two children in the family: an optimist and a pessimist. For the New Year, their parents prepared gifts for them: a toy horse on wheels for the pessimist, and a pile of fresh horse manure for the optimist. The children woke up in the morning... Pessimist: “Well, the horse... uh... small, but I wanted a big one... completely white... and I wanted apples... uh... wooden, but I wanted a live one...” Optimist: “But I have alive!!! I just went out for a walk!”
How to deal with your own pessimism?
To the question: “Is it possible to become happy on your own?” The science of psychology answers confidently: “Yes!” What needs to be done to ensure that your eternal skepticism dissolves in a sea of positivity? First of all, refuse any information that creates negative moods. What's the point of giving in to despondency, discussing the topic: “Where is this world going?” if life is so short. Isn't it better to devote time to communicating with loved ones and friends?
Try to laugh at least 15 minutes a day. Watching a good comedy or humorous program, funny jokes, lift your spirits and disperse sad thoughts. Start every day with a smile, it puts you in a positive mood. Tell your reflection in the mirror: “Today everything will be fine.” Smile at people, even if there is no particular reason for it. People around you don’t need to know about your difficulties.
Peace of mind is one of the conditions for a happy existence. It’s unlikely that you won’t be able to worry about anything at all, but you also don’t need to create a tragedy for any reason. The vast majority of everyday problems tend to be resolved for the better. There is no need to mentally get ahead of events, scrolling through negative scenarios in your head.
Fill your life with new colors. Believe me, you don’t have to go to Goa for this; the neighboring park will do just fine. Learn to look for beauty in the nature around you: autumn foliage, the first snow, a field of dandelions... every moment of our life is unique, unique and worthy of admiration.
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Loyal four-legged friends charge us with their energy and love of life. It's hard not to smile while watching a puppy frolic or a kitten play. Pets will relieve stress and loneliness, calm your nerves, and lift your spirits. A dog is an excellent companion for walks in the fresh air, and a cat’s purring is so pleasant to listen to on winter evenings.
Disadvantages of Defensive Pessimism
However, she acknowledges that there are some potential downsides to defensive pessimism. One downside may be how others perceive you, especially if you talk out loud about your negative scenarios. People may misunderstand this self-preparation tactic and take it as a sign that you are not prepared for the work ahead.
Another potential problem may arise when visualizing catastrophic scenarios.
“The downside is that instead of thinking about the possibilities, you lose control,” Norem says. “This is something that clinicians consider catastrophic. Instead of thinking about specific things that could go wrong and how you can prevent them, you say, “This will be a disaster. I've been unlucky all my life."
What to do if your child is a pessimist?
Optimism is characteristic of most children. A child - a pessimist is a kind of oxymoron, an unnatural combination of two opposites. The worldview of a young creature has not yet been formed, therefore, behind the negative denial and persistent expectation of an unsuccessful ending in any matter, elementary laziness is most often hidden. However, do not rush to punish your child, because his behavior probably has external reasons. To correct the situation, it is necessary to identify them and eliminate them.
Gently explain to your child that a negative perception of the world around him interferes with his development and condemns him to the status of a loser. Demonstrate, using examples of real people or movie characters, all the advantages of an optimistic worldview. Show how much more interesting it is for those around him to communicate with cheerful and positive peers. Having revealed to your child all the advantages of optimism, help him move to an active life position . Play sports together or go on a hiking trip to teach your child how to set goals and overcome challenges.
Perhaps self-doubt is a consequence of the inability to manage one's time, which results in poor academic performance and chronic fatigue. Create a daily routine with your child. Let him have a place not only for studying, but also for his favorite activities, communicating with friends, and walking in the fresh air. Don't forget that children are a reflection of their parents. Analyze your own behavior; it is possible that your child borrowed pessimism from you.
Reasons for pessimism
Scientists have been trying to understand personality traits and the impact of optimism on health for hundreds of years. Thus, according to recent research, the two main reasons for the formation of optimistic and pessimistic worldviews are:
- Genetic predisposition.
- Upbringing. As a rule, pessimistic views prevail in the family; parents never praise the child and constantly predict his failures in all fields.
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The experiment, conducted by London professor Tim Spector, involved identical twins. The girls grew up in the same family and in the same environment, however, one of them is cheerful and cheerful, and the second regularly experiences depressive episodes.
The professor’s goal was to answer the key question: what factors actually influence the formation of human personality and how this can be influenced. Spector was able to discover a specific set of genes that function in one girl, but are inactive in another. It turned out that only half of the differences between people are due to genetics. At the same time, external factors can activate or, conversely, weaken specific genes. The name of this process is epiginetics.
Working with pessimistic people
If you are a pessimist or interact with a pessimistic person who is important to you on a regular basis, here are some tips to help you deal with this belief:
Correct your belief system
: If you want to fight pessimism, then there is nothing better than correcting your belief system.
Understand the truth about success
: No successful person has ever made it on the first try, and even those who have succeeded have quickly encountered many failures in their lives. And just went through them. One of the best ways to combat pessimism is to be realistic. Many pessimistic people claim that they are this way because they are realistic, when in fact, if they were truly realistic, they would realize that success will never happen before failure occurs.
Build Self-Esteem
. Of course, if the reason for your pessimism was low self-esteem, then the best way to deal with it is to improve your self-esteem.
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Psychologist, hypnologist Natalya Korshunova ©
Disadvantages of Optimism
But optimism can sometimes hold you back from achieving your best results, both in your personal life and at work. High hopes for a better future can lead to poor decision making. People who like to dream about the future are unlikely to make their dreams come true.
One study shows that tornado survivors tend to become optimistic, thinking that the next time a tornado will not hit them. They believe that the shell does not hit the same crater twice. This type of thinking prevents people from preparing for negative events.
Researchers suggest that people who tend to dream about a bright future are less likely to actively carry out this scenario in real life. A series of studies conducted in the United States found that when participants indulged in positive fantasies about the future, imagining successfully achieving their goals actually drained them of the energy needed to achieve their goals.
“It is tempting to believe that simple positive thoughts can lead to real success is not always justified,” the study authors conclude. “Instead of promoting achievement, fantasies burn up energy that could bring them closer to the life they dream of.”
Some types of optimism appear to be detrimental to young people's ability to solve the problems they face in their family relationships. Spouses who were overly optimistic about their expectations for their partner did not have a constructive approach to solving problems and difficulties in family life.
Although there is some research suggesting that pessimism may pose health risks, there are studies that highlight the protective effect against expected negative outcomes.
Although scientists have found a link between pessimistic thinking and mood disorders, it is optimists who are at greatest risk of depression after a difficult event.
Older people with pessimistic moods are less likely to develop depression. An analysis of four different studies examining the relationship between optimism, pessimism and depression suggests that positive fantasies may be a risk factor. This analysis showed that imagining vivid scenarios of a positive future influences mood, but the habit is ultimately a predictor of depression and other mood disorders.
Lead study author Gabriele Oettingen from New York University said: “All the positive emotions about the future can have the most ironic consequences. Positive fantasies about the future can be deeply demotivating. People say, “Dream it and you will get it,” but this can be problematic. Optimistic thoughts are unlikely to help a person lose weight or quit smoking unless they do something about it.”
A healthy dose of pessimism may protect against disability and mortality, according to scientists from the University of Erlangen-Nuremberg in Germany. The study shows that older adults who predict low life satisfaction have a lower risk of death and disability as the years go by, compared with peers who predict high life satisfaction.
“Perceptions of a dark future may promote positive appraisals of real life,” the authors explain, “and lead to the adoption of more effective precautions.”
So, the next time you're worried that your glass is half empty, rest assured that you're on the right track. This may give you that extra push to fill it to the brim.
Learning Life Lessons
It’s easy to say, but not everyone can erase a major failure, an unpleasant fact from their biography and soul. Yes, this is not required. It is important to learn how to learn a useful lesson. Fate gives people tests for some reason, as if it wants to teach something, suggest something. Awareness of this radically changes the attitude towards what is happening.
An employee who is prone to conflicts has been hired in your office department. It is inconvenient and violates the rules of ethics. You were unlucky. Think about it, why did this happen? Maybe this situation is needed to unite your team even more?
This is not the first time your salary has been calculated incorrectly. Stop complaining, think about what this test is for? Isn't it time to learn to defend your boundaries?
Everyone has the right to make mistakes. Successful people may make them more often than others, but they do not give up, understanding that mistakes are valuable experience. With their help, we become wiser and gain knowledge on how to avoid them in the future.
It is not recommended to think about them too much and for a long time, or get stuck on trifles. You can’t fix what happened, you can’t turn back time. Obstacles should not stop you. We made useful conclusions and moved forward to other things and victories! Only those who do nothing make no mistakes!
Optimist and pessimist - the main differences
CONTENT:
The world of people is divided into two large groups. Representatives of one are full of strength, energy, believe in a bright future, and do not lose heart in stalemate situations. They are surrounded by friends and numerous acquaintances, because it is pleasant to communicate with them.
Other individuals perceive their surroundings in dark tones, doubt their capabilities, are suspicious, tend to exaggerate failures and do not see ways to solve problems. Such attitudes affect the quality of life: they often get sick, they have a high probability of premature death, they often remain lonely - not everyone is ready to endure constant complaints and be a “vest for tears.”
Remember the good things
All people experience envy from time to time - even those who are completely satisfied with themselves and their lives. Envy is a natural human feeling, it is even useful: thanks to it, we strive for new achievements. But when it occurs often, then all we get from it is a feeling of inferiority. Optimists know that everyone has problems, even the most beautiful, rich and famous, and envy therefore simply does not make sense.
Practice. Learn to stop thoughts like: “Oh my God, people are lucky!” The phrase that helps best is: “But I have...” - with a continuation, of course. Instantly remember what has been successful in your life, or simply what you like - and it will be much better when you think that your friend’s husband has the habit of giving her a diamond jewelry on all holidays, including the Day of the Paris Commune, and their children are aged for three years already they were adding up seven-digit numbers. And help your child cope with attacks of envy (and young children experience it very often): “Vanya’s car is really wonderful, but look how your transformer folds!”
We all come from childhood
The eradication of a gloomy view of reality should begin with analysis. People are not born pessimists. Then where do the lack of self-confidence and doubts about the successful outcome of events come from?
Psychologists have proven that worldview is established in the family. If parents were distrustful of people, perceived society as a threat, often felt dissatisfaction, envy, comparing themselves with others, then similar feelings will be passed on to their daughters and sons.
Phrases: “Anton again has A’s, and you only have C’s!”, “Don’t take on this matter, you won’t succeed anyway!”, “Why am I being punished like this?” - a direct road to developing low self-esteem in a child and cultivating a sense of inferiority.
So, pessimism is not a chronic disease, but an acquired habit. In ninety percent out of a hundred, it is imposed by the immediate environment and has been cultivated for many years. But there is good news: if the property is not innate, then there is a chance for correction!
