How to work with fear?
The mistake is to think that you first need to deal with fears, and then start doing it. “First I’ll go to a psychologist, remove all my fears, and then I’ll start!” - familiar thoughts? You need to start doing it right away! Half of the fears will fall off by themselves in the process of action! On my Instagram I once told a story about how I was taught to swim. If I had succumbed to fear and decided for myself that first I would overcome the fear, and then I would get into the water, I still wouldn’t get into it. The fear of water passed the very second I found myself in the water.
You need to deal with fears “as you go”, this is the only true path, otherwise you will not achieve anything. Otherwise, it will be the most common self-sabotage. It’s very easy to catch yourself sabotaging: if you have fear, you solve it (for example, go to a psychologist), and don’t continue to indulge it and subordinate your life to it. Example: if you have been telling yourself for five years that you are afraid to change jobs/start a new business/leave a destructive relationship, and you do nothing about it, then this is pure self-sabotage. This means that for you, keeping your fears comes first; for you, your fears come first. I always tell my clients: there is only one technique that overcomes all fears - you take it and do it. I'm not saying it's easy - that's why there are people like me and professions like “psychologist”. There is a lot hidden behind the veil of fear: there is resistance to change, and reluctance to move forward, and secondary benefit from the “deplorable situation in which a person finds himself.” Fear is comfortable, familiar, familiar... Therefore, it’s difficult without a specialist.
When working with fears, one more important thing must be remembered: the nature of this mechanism is ancient and associated with reflexes. To change any reflex, repetition is necessary. Have you succumbed to fear many years before? So? It is logical to assume that one time/action is not enough to learn how to direct the energy of fear in the right direction? The reaction “act” or “be in a stupor/run” can be trained. The minimum time to form a habit is 21 days, remember this. It will take time for you to change neural connections.
Is fear the engine of progress?
Nothing stands still, everything is in motion. Fear is also the energy of development, it is the driving factor of evolution. Comfort stops evolution, and unfavorable factors encourage us to seek new resources, change and develop new qualities and new capabilities. In human life, fear also serves as a “magic kick-start”. But the person is the smartest, and everything is not always easy for him. The energy of fear cannot be “overcome”, “defeat” or “get rid of” it, as I wrote above, but it can be directed where we need it. Fear can “kick” you in two directions: it can give you a resource, help you mobilize all your strength for a breakthrough, or it can disorganize you and destroy you.
Fear is a force, and it’s up to you to decide whether this force will be directed towards growth or destruction. We, as intelligent beings, in addition to reflexes and emotions, also have meaningful, purposeful behavior. Thanks to this, a person is able to consciously choose action, despite fear and pain. We have more freedom to choose our actions than anyone else on this planet.
Fear of action
Pathological fear of action occurs when an individual begins and/or anticipates performing strictly defined types of activity. One of the reasons for the appearance of these disorders is negative personal experience with painful somatic manifestations recorded at the conscious and subconscious level. However, some personal characteristics, such as indecisiveness, passivity, spinelessness, and lack of self-confidence, act as an extremely favorable background for the development of fears.
This group contains relatively “mild” phobias that do not greatly spoil the patient’s life and do not force them to radically change priorities and behavior : in order not to provoke a new attack, the patient only needs to avoid any specific actions. Although when it comes to fears that completely take over the patient’s consciousness and prevent them from living a full life, the help of a specialist is necessary.
One of the common phobias, which is characterized by intense anxiety with attacks of panic attacks, is aerophobia ( fear of flying ). During or while waiting for a flight, the patient experiences a feeling of panic, he tries to calm down with the help of alcoholic drinks, and frantically searches for information about plane crashes. Awareness of the complete and absolute lack of control over the situation, the feeling of helplessness of an airplane passenger makes fear very strong, and the phobia, accordingly, difficult to cure. The “brothers” of the fear of flying are less common phobias: fear of traveling by rail (siderodromophobia) and fear of traveling (hodophobia).
Among the fears of action there are quite rare and “strange” disorders, for example:
- Chorophobia – fear of dancing;
- Ideophobia – fear of ideas;
- Vestiphobia – fear of dressing;
- Mageirocophobia is the fear of cooking.
Among the recorded clinical cases of disorders in representatives of the younger generation, one can distinguish a subgroup of phobias characteristic of this age, including:
- Gnosiophobia – fear of gaining knowledge;
- Sophophobia – fear of learning;
- Phronemophobia – fear of thinking;
- Didaskaleinophobia – fear of going to school.
The “favorite” in this subgroup can confidently be called fear of the stage or public speaking – glossophobia. Many famous personalities and artists are familiar with stage fright, who often perform in front of large audiences in the course of their professional activities. A strong pathological fear of speaking is one of the common reasons for turning to a psychotherapist. Glossophobia has been studied quite well and is treated quite successfully by appropriate specialists.
In recent years, cases of somniphobia - a strong fear of sleep - . Moreover, this disorder can occur at any age. This phobia also has its own peculiarity: having arisen unexpectedly in childhood and disappearing without treatment after a short period of time, the disorder returns a few years later to an adult. Some psychiatrists argue that the abundance of negative information in the modern media space: horror films, crime reports, computer games - “zombies” is the main factor in the emergence of somniophobia. Untimely treatment of the disorder leads to physical exhaustion of the patient’s body, changes personal characteristics and affects a person’s behavior in society.
Among the fears of action there are also “medical” anxieties , for example:
- Dentophobia – fear of visiting the dentist;
- opiophobia – fear of treatment from doctors.
It is very difficult for those suffering from these disorders, because it is impossible to imagine a person who has never been sick in their life.
An interesting from a scientific point of view, a relatively young disease is decidophobia ( fear of decision-making ). A patient suffering from this disorder is so afraid of making wrong decisions that he prefers not to make decisions at all. A decidophobe tries to find and surround himself with people who will make decisions for him and be responsible for bringing them to life. Such “advisers” can be parents, spouses, political parties, church teachings, and even sects. Very often, patients with decidophobia turn to astrologers, fortune tellers, and psychics for all personal and financial issues. The most amazing thing about this disorder is that the decidophobe, who surrounds himself with advisers, does not feel sick and unhappy, he is quite happy with his life.
To get rid of fears of action, you need to seek help from qualified specialists in the field of psychiatry, because in most cases, self-medication does not bring proper and lasting results.
Other phobias associated with the implementation of actions:
- ablutophobia - fear of swimming;
- agyrophobia - fear of crossing the street;
- amaxophobia - fear of traveling by transport;
- Ambulophobia - fear of walking;
- vestiphobia - fear of dressing;
- graphophobia - fear of writing;
- didaskaleinophobia - fear of going to school;
- cyberphobia - fear of working with computer equipment;
- kleptophobia - fear of stealing or being robbed;
- Mageirocophobia - fear of cooking;
- Maleusiophobia - fear of giving birth;
- social phobia - fear of social actions;
- trypanophobia - fear of giving injections;
- pharmacophobia - fear of taking medications;
- philemaphobia - fear of kissing;
- Ergophobia - fear of work.
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How to overcome your fear of loneliness
Research by specialists shows that phobias are formed in a person’s subconscious. Various fears often reflect his inner state. However, by coming into contact with other people, a person can overcome dark thoughts. Let's look at practical tips on how to get rid of the fear of loneliness and find peace of mind.
First of all, you need to learn to love people who are by nature kind and sympathetic individuals. Of course, staying locked up, this is impossible to achieve. You just need to go outside and notice your neighbors. There will always be people at work with whom you can talk. And while walking around the city or park, you might be able to meet someone.
It can be helpful to ask yourself, “Am I cutting myself off from people of my own free will?”
If the cause of your fear of being lonely is low self-esteem, you need to fight such thoughts. Every person has flaws. It's better to focus on finding new friends. It can be not only peers. Children and the elderly should not be ignored. New communication will help you break out of the “cage” called loneliness.
Those who cannot find a life partner should face the truth. Even married people sometimes feel the fear of loneliness.
It is important not to dwell on the problem, but to look for solutions. By taking advantage of your freedom, you can meet new people who have similar circumstances. Do what you love and relax together. Active pastime will relieve you of a phobia that has a detrimental effect on your inner mood.
Of course, the fear of loneliness will not disappear with the wave of a magic wand. The main thing is to be patient, apply the advice of psychologists and enjoy small victories on the way to your goal.
Symptoms of ergasiophobia
Any actions have consequences, and this is very scary for an ergasiophobe.
The disease manifests itself as an anxiety disorder. A feeling of anxiety accompanies any actions and movements of a person, the correctness of which he questions. In a broad sense, psychologists consider this phobia to be a fear of personal responsibility.
Another meaning of the term is fear of work. Here again we are talking not so much about fear of work, but about fear of the consequences for which a person will have to bear responsibility.
The term comes from the Greek word ergasio, which has several meanings - work, movement, business, action, activity.
Symptoms of a phobia:
- fear of work activity;
- lack of initiative;
- fear of making a decision;
- alarm, if necessary, to perform any action.
A phobia can manifest itself in small things. Thus, the need to go to a new store for an unusual product can cause a panic attack. A person with ergasiophobia does not like to give gifts to family and friends, since choosing a gift is a responsibility.
The problem of ergasiophobia is widely revealed in work activities. A person with such a phobia does not show initiative and tries to limit his responsibilities to the necessary minimum, which is why he cannot expect career growth. People with this disorder can hold low positions for decades.
