Consultation “The role of the family in shaping the child’s personality”

Laws of family life

Self-development and family are connected as a manifestation of the spouses’ desire to understand each other, to become truly close, reliable, loving, attentive friends. The family develops simultaneously with changes in each of the family members, everything in the world flows and moves, life cannot be static. You need to be prepared for changes, new interests, hobbies.

The main thing is to preserve the inner core, family values. It is a well-known truth that a strong family is possible when both sides strive for a common result; one person cannot maintain balance. Even being perfect, one day, without seeing appropriate behavior on the part of the second spouse, he will understand the futility of his actions and get tired of investing in the relationship, this will be the beginning of the end.

Family is a daily interaction, how to make it effective, what do spouses need to know first?

In an effort to be an ideal spouse, you should develop abilities that satisfy the following needs of your spouse:

1. Love and tenderness - a husband should show tenderness more often, hugging and kissing his beloved, paying compliments, and paying attention. Small gifts also help a lot: flowers, sweets, romantic letters. Tenderness - provides a wonderful atmosphere in the family, helps strengthen the marriage;
2. Communication - discuss all current issues more, ask how your day went, develop understanding, attentiveness, and sensitivity to your spouse’s questions and experiences;
3. Sincerity - strive for trust and openness in relationships, discuss plans for the future, share your ideas. It is important for a woman to feel that a man is reliable, will always be able to help in difficult situations, and is ready to resolve all issues;
4. Financial independence - a good spouse understands that it is necessary to provide for the family in the best possible way, looks for sources of increasing income and reducing costs. It is advisable to discuss the family budget and large purchases together.
5. Participate in family affairs - pay attention to children, spend time with them, play, read, walk. It is a great happiness for a wife to watch her husband take care of the children. It is important to find a balance between family and work; excessive passion for a career can cause the loss of loved ones. After all, the wife needs not only finances, but also to feel involved in family matters, spend time together, and communicate.

Self-development and family are related concepts; the spouse needs to improve his qualities and skills for successful interaction and to meet the needs of his wife. What exactly is needed? Learn to be gentle, attentive, caring, understanding. And also to be a supporter in the family and a good father.

How can a wife become the most loved and desired, what qualities are necessary to satisfy a man’s basic needs in marriage?

1. To be a good lover , to satisfy a man’s need for intimate relationships. A woman’s task is to study this topic, learn to please her partner, teach him the basic ways that she may like. Everything should be mutually interesting.
2. Share interests, spend time together . A spouse should be a faithful companion in various hobbies - sports, music, fishing, hunting, etc. Find out more about your spouse, spend time together playing tennis, visiting the pool. Men like to spend time with their beloved wife and share interests. Support your spouse and be understanding. Find common interests, be more together.
3. It’s always good to look beautiful —the wife cares not only about her inner world, but also about her beauty. Attractiveness is very important for men. Try to pay attention to your hair, physical fitness, health, find your style, individuality. A man should be proud of his wife, sometimes it’s worth reminding that a beautiful wife is a man’s calling card, so that he allows him to go for a manicure or to the hairdresser.
4. To be a good housewife - a wife needs to provide comfort in the house - order, tranquility, so that her husband would be pleased to come home, a beautiful and elegant wife would be waiting for him with a wonderful dinner, as well as cheerful and loving children. And under any conditions, you need to try to create an atmosphere of love. A wise woman knows that scandals are not the best way to the heart.

Self-development and family are manifested for a woman in the desire to master ways of housekeeping, learn new recipes, and learn femininity.

1. Appreciating your spouse means seeing your spouse’s achievements, praising him for his efforts and successes in life and work. Men have a high need for admiration and recognition. If the spouse forgets to do this, then there may be other women who will attract attention with kind words.

For spouses, it is important to satisfy all five needs; a deficiency in one of the areas can lead to problems in the future. Therefore, a woman should develop the following qualities - learn to give intimate love, be sincerely interested in general issues, maintain an attractive image, develop the ability to run a household and maintain a pleasant atmosphere in the house, be attentive to the successes and achievements of her spouse.

There is even a proverb: “If a man has done something, that’s already good, and if he’s also done it well, then that’s just wonderful.”

Yes, the support and participation of a woman is very important for men. The older generation advises: “we need to do everything together.” Naturally, within the limits of possibilities, strive for this. This applies to household chores - gluing wallpaper, fixing something, giving tools, thanking for help.

Why do good families break up?

The psychology of relationships in the family is a difficult topic; psychologists devote a lot of time to it, conduct research, look for causes and consequences.

Let's talk about the most common reasons leading to difficulties, misunderstanding in the family, lack of understanding:

1. Having an ideal image - having a highly detailed ideal image leads to difficulty meeting the right person in your life. People often do not realize that we live in the real world, where there are no ideals, spouses have advantages and disadvantages. These people strive to fit their spouse into the desired image, which is unlikely and leads to disappointment. Conclusion: learn to love a person, and not a ghostly image, accept a loved one along with their shortcomings.

If there is an image of an “ideal lady”, a “fairy-tale prince”, the ship of love will be broken, collide with underwater reefs or an iceberg of distant fantasies.

Self-development and family will go hand in hand when a person understands the need for self-improvement, working on thoughts and images.

1. “Happiness depends on ourselves,” taught the great philosopher Seneca. He believed that when the state of mind depends only on external factors, happiness is unreliable, illusory, you need to learn to feel joy inside the soul, develop and create around you.

It is important to learn to control yourself with your thoughts, and not live at the mercy of things and circumstances. His teaching says that fate is not good or evil, the seeds of events are sent to us, and man independently turns them into good or evil. Remember this in moments of sadness, maybe another person would joyfully accept the circumstances of your life. The difficulties of life need to be solved when they arise, and worrying about them is pointless, rather harmful.

1. Our life is the result of our thoughts. Philosophers and psychologists have repeatedly said that a person determines his life, achievements, aspirations, goals. Elevation of thoughts and faith leads to higher results. Without imagining victories and achievements, it is impossible to achieve them.

Self-development and family show interconnection, like working on your world of thoughts, emotions, you need to try to bring goodness to loved ones, believe in the family, which will make it stronger. Anger, dissatisfaction and aggression only destroy a family, as well as a person, and lead to diseases.

1. Love and do not interfere with another person’s life - an important question encountered in family life - the desire to change a spouse, make him comfortable, fit him to standards. A family is a union of two different people with special interests and hobbies; it is important to help and support each other, without imposing demands. A person should always feel a breath of freedom in his realization and personal manifestations. You should not deprive your favorite important aspects of life.
2. Family is a source of inspiration! How is this possible? We need to stop fighting each other, showing pride, and demanding a lot. Constant attacks and demands poison people's lives and do not contribute to family happiness. It is acceptable to argue while playing, and then show tenderness to each other, the main thing is to avoid anger and aggression.
3. Friendliness and gratitude are the key to a successful family! Often people observe standards of decency at work and take it out on loved ones waiting at home. Understand that family is more important than work, this atmosphere helps or hinders the development of a career, it can stimulate or inhibit career growth and success. Look for ways to restore mental comfort and relaxation.

It is better to do cleaning than to scold your family, sports and various active activities help relieve stress, pleasant relaxing music also produces a wonderful effect. Sometimes a bar of chocolate comes in handy and adds joy to life. Look for ways!

It is important to be sincerely interested in your spouse, affairs, concerns. At the initial stage of dating, this works great, but in a family, communication is simply necessary, especially for women.

1. Less demands, more praise. Any person is pleased to hear kind words, spouses are no exception. They want to know - they are the best, a woman - in running a household, raising children, personal life, a man - in raising funds, buying food, repairing and helping with the household. This stimulates the desire to do something more than criticism. It should be minimized, hidden behind good words.

Always thank for help, do not hesitate to ask to do something if you don’t have time. This applies more to women who independently drive themselves into the state of a “tormented horse.” Men like beautiful and attractive wives, so we learn to distribute time and workload, it is important to do everything correctly, without unnecessary emotions.

To show gratitude, men can sometimes please their beloved spouse with flowers, sweets, or a trip to the cinema or theater. A woman can find her own ways in response - a delicious dinner, a romantic evening.

1. Avoid hostility and categorical judgments - they harm family happiness. You shouldn’t argue that the person is completely wrong, it’s better to calmly communicate your opinion, saying, “maybe so, let’s think about this problem together, maybe it’s worth it...” So, it will be easier for your significant other to accept a different point of view, and categoricalness leads to defensiveness, stubbornness, insistence on personal views.

Self-development and family have common roots; it is important to learn effective ways of communication, the ability to influence judgments while avoiding unnecessary pressure.

1. Don't use orders - it's better to use requests or ask questions on the topic. The most well-known method of negotiating is to rely on common goals, ideas, similar points of view, and strive to obtain initially affirmative answers. This makes it easier to convey the necessary thought to your loved one. Forming relationships in a family is an incredibly important aspect; every day we build our “family home” or “build a nest”, and everyone brings a twig. Only through mutual efforts is it possible to create a happy family.
2. Vanity and pride are inappropriate in the family . People don’t like tyrants, narcissistic people, you shouldn’t assert yourself at the expense of your family, one day the relationship will collapse, even the most patient and loving people get tired of such an attitude.
3. A woman should be a woman, a man should be a man . There has long been a distribution of responsibilities and roles in the family, in the modern world everything is more complicated - women strive to build a career, there is less time for family and children, we forget about dresses and skirts, we lose the aura of mystery, we go to achievements using the “male path”. It is worth remembering that harmony and beauty are achieved in a family when a man feels his wife’s femininity, admires her beauty, listening to her melodious, calm speech.

As a result, there is a desire to gain strength, to become the support of the family, and strives for greater financial well-being; not all men like it when a woman is more successful - perhaps only gigolos. It is usually better when a woman does work for pleasure, leaving time for family. Time management is very important in solving daily problems.

Self-development and family are associated with spouses’ understanding of their main role, the ability to love and show important qualities.

1. It is better to leave work concerns outside the home - try to learn how to switch from one area to the next, constant worries about external difficulties can irritate loved ones, endless discussion of work concerns is tiring. You feel the need to talk about painful things, share them with your loved one, and then give up on everything, think about the good things - family, children.
2. Suspiciousness and uncertainty are bad helpers in the family. Constant worries and suspicions spoil rather than help improve the state of family relationships; it is better to work on self-improvement than to constantly control your life partner. Self-development and family are a kind of task, how to become the best for your loved one. As a result, control is not needed. And you shouldn’t trust your inner feelings with your acquaintances; without knowing the circumstances, they can draw the wrong conclusions and give erroneous advice. Learn to communicate within your family, calmly discussing all important issues, difficulties, and doubts.
3. Losing a loved one is the greatest misfortune . It is worth thinking about the need to build good relationships, satisfy each other’s needs, so that later there will be no excruciating pain... Often people simply do not understand the needs of loved ones, do not feel their experiences and pain. Learn to be sincere and talk about all the difficulties. While we are alive, there is an opportunity to correct the situation... But divorce is an extreme method, usually leading to severe depression, and is difficult for both parties to bear. It is better to learn how to build harmonious relationships and negotiate controversial issues.

Self-development and family are important, complementary concepts. The family will be strong if the members of the union, who love people, strive to develop, improve, and think about each other’s interests. Primitive, selfish thinking often interferes with understanding important family values ​​and building a good, strong family. Although the reason for misunderstanding is often in the difference in psychological perception of the world.

Self-improvement in family relationships is possible thanks to self-development, the desire to improve the family microclimate and mutual understanding. Try to learn more, understand each other - the world of feelings, emotions, interests, look for the positive aspects of relationships at the stage when the phase of falling in love passes. Only two people can support love, continue its life, not letting the fire go out, they can decide that there is no further way... Is this true? There are examples when families are restored over time, understanding the need for relationships, caring for children, and fleeting hobbies cannot replace a real and strong family.

I wish you all love and family happiness!

“Formation of a child’s personality in the family”

Formation of a child’s personality in the family

Among the many modern social institutions, the family occupies one of the first places. Its primary influence on the child cannot be denied, since it lays the foundation for the child’s future social life. The family is one of the branches of education of the younger generation, the second is social. Today there is no longer a debate about what is more important in the development of personality: family or public education (kindergarten, school, other educational institutions). Modern science is unanimous that without harming the development of the child’s personality, it is impossible to abandon family education, since its strength and effectiveness are incomparable with any, even very qualified education.

A modern family cannot raise a child in isolation from other educational institutions: the child goes to a preschool institution, then to school, attends an art education club or studio, attends a sports section, etc.

Despite all the indispensability of family education, it does not provide all the conditions for the harmonious and versatile development of the individual. Therefore, today it is important for the development of a child’s personality to be the cooperation of parents and professional teachers.

The family is a source of transmission to the child of socio-historical experience, and above all the experience of emotional and business relationships between people. Taking this into account, we can rightfully assume that the family was, is and will be the most important institution for the upbringing and socialization of a child.

Without compromising the development of the child’s personality, it is impossible to abandon family education, since it gives the child the whole gamut of feelings, the widest range of ideas about life. In addition, its strength and effectiveness are incomparable with any, even very qualified, education in a kindergarten or school.

The uniqueness of home education is explained, first of all, by its primacy, the special significance of close adults in the child’s life due to his biological and psychological dependence on them. There are characteristics of children inherent in them in the first years of life, which determine maximum sensitivity to upbringing and learning. Such features include imitation, suggestibility, and emotionality. The upbringing process is optimized due to the development of valuable needs in the baby, such as the need for communication, for obtaining new experiences, and later for cognition, for active motor activity, for recognition and love, etc.

From the first days of a child’s life, he is surrounded by a world of people, nature, and things. However, not every adult and not every environment is favorable for the development of a child from the moment of birth. A child separated from his parents (or more often abandoned by them) and placed in a child's home experiences a decrease in overall mental tone, emotional-cognitive interactions deteriorate, and, as a result, intellectual development is inhibited. The sooner a child is separated from the parental family, the longer and more isolated he is in an institution, the more pronounced are the deformations in all areas of his mental development. Of all the diversity of the surrounding world, which in one way or another influences a small child, the “intimate social circle” is of particular importance. This circle includes parents and other close people who satisfy the baby’s need to be protected, loved, and whose emotional image is imprinted in his mind, sometimes for life. As he grows older, the child will understand and evaluate his closest people, using ideas and concepts that characterize different aspects of a person’s personality.