Sonya Lyubomirsky - Psychology of happiness. New approach
Sonya Lyubomirsky
Psychology of happiness. New approach
© Peter Publishing House LLC, 2014
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Gabriella and Alexander, the main sources of my happiness
Journey
One day, you finally realized what you had to do and set off. From all sides, voices continued to shout and rush around, the whole house began to shake, and you felt the usual trembling in your knees. “Save my life,” every voice pleaded. But you moved forward. You knew what you had to do. The wind chilled to the bones, to the very foundations, and the voices were so inconsolable. It was late and a wild night, and the road was littered with branches and stones. But, step by step, leaving the voices behind, you began to see the stars through the veil of clouds, and a new voice arose, and in it you began to recognize yourself. He became your companion as you walked, further and further, into a new world, determined to do only what you could - to save the only life that you could save.
Mary Oliver
Preface
We all want to be happy, even if we don’t admit it openly or try to hide this desire under a bunch of words. Whether we dream of professional success, spiritual fulfillment, intimate relationships, purpose in life, or love and sex, we crave it because we believe it will make us happier. But in reality, very few people understand the extent to which we can influence our own happiness, or know how to do it. To look at the situation objectively and examine your habitual assumptions about how to become a happier person and whether it is possible for you - and I hope this book will encourage you to do so - you need to know that becoming happier is possible, that it is possible. our power and that this is one of the most important and necessary things we can do for ourselves and for those around us.
What are the meanings and secrets of happiness? Is it possible to get more happiness and will the new happiness last? These are the most important questions to which I have devoted my entire career as a research psychologist. When I began my research—I was twenty-two years old and a graduate student—research on happiness and psychological well-being was considered frivolous, and the “subject” seemed elusive, unscientific, “subjective,” and “foggy.” But in recent years, happiness has become a hot topic in the social science community—a symptom of 21st-century Western individualism.
Well, happiness has become a fashion today, like hula hoops, stylish haircuts and The Simpsons? Very similar to that. Newspapers and magazines, television programs, books, blogs and Internet podcasts are full of musings about happiness, usually not supported by any empirical data. Scientists like me prefer to stay away from all this hype. However, I believe it is important for scientists to engage in the general conversation about happiness and insist on strict scientific standards. Why? Because I deeply believe in the importance of scientific research into happiness and psychological well-being.
Most of the inhabitants of the Earth, on different continents, in different cultures, believe that being happy is one of the most important goals in life for themselves and, of course, for their children. Moreover, happiness offers many rewards, not only for the happy person, but also for his family, colleagues, community, country and society at large. Research shows that being happier not only makes us feel better, it also gives us more energy, creativity, a stronger immune system, better relationships, more productivity, and even longer life.1 Happiness, in my humble opinion, is that holy grail, “the meaning and purpose of life,” which Aristotle called “the crown of human existence.”
The science of happiness deserves to be taken seriously; it is not just a fad. The pursuit of happiness is an important, legitimate and worthy goal. If we recall ancient texts on history, literature or philosophy, we will see that people have always strived for happiness. But some of us suffer, while others feel empty and unfulfilled, so joy in life, freedom from suffering, peace of mind and confidence are important and worthy goals.
I have been conducting research in this area for 18 years; first as a doctoral student at Stanford University and then (and currently) as a faculty member at the University of California, Riverside. Over the years, I have watched the science of happiness develop into a new field of knowledge within the broader scientific field of “positive psychology.” His followers strive to understand what makes life worth living. This name reflects the belief that helping people think positively—and live as fully and happily as possible—is as important as developing the traditional areas of psychology that focus on correcting character flaws and healing pathologies. It may seem obvious that psychologists focus on techniques that promote prosperity and self-fulfillment, but during the second half of the 20th century, psychology focused primarily on diseases, disorders, and “problems.”2
Today, psychologists set themselves broader and more ambitious goals. In the last ten years, psychological science has made huge strides in studying not only how to cure depression, that is, how to move a person from a “terrible” state to a “normal” state, but also how to help him feel truly happy. We have entered a new era, and every month glossy magazines give more and more advice on how to achieve and maintain happiness, how to achieve self-realization and make your life more productive and more joyful.
Unfortunately, the results of scientific research, as a rule, are known only to scientists themselves, because they are published in scientific journals, are intended for a narrow circle of specialists and are inaccessible to ordinary readers. In this book, I collected and analyzed scientific data on how to become happy. I use this data as a springboard, as a guide to what each of us can do to move to a higher level of psychological well-being.
Let me offer a few ideas. First, science is the main character in this book, and the strategies for being happier that I and other social psychologists have developed are the supporting actors. My position is that of a research scientist, not a clinician, life coach, or self-improvement guru.
To my knowledge, this is the first “how-to-be-happy book” written by someone who has done scientific research on happiness and what makes people happy. Friends and colleagues have been urging me to write a book for many years, but only now there is enough reliable scientific evidence in this area that can be analyzed, interpreted and turned into concrete recommendations. This is what makes my book different from many other self-help books: it presents the conclusions that scientists, including myself, have come to based on empirical research3. All my recommendations are based on scientific experiments; if the evidence and conclusions are not very convincing or insufficient, I say so directly. References and notes are provided for all theories, statistics and original research. If you are interested in a particular topic and would like to explore it further, further reading is provided in the notes. If you don't want to be distracted by the notes, you can safely skip them.
Why should a reader care whether the advice in self-help books is backed by scientific evidence? Because empirical research has many advantages over anecdotal evidence or clinical observations. Using the scientific method, researchers identify cause-and-effect relationships and study phenomena systematically, without prejudice or bias. So if a glossy magazine writes that daily meditation makes people happier or that herbal medicine helps get rid of headaches, there is only one way to find out whether this is actually true: conduct a double-blind experiment, where participants are randomly divided into two groups, and one group meditates (or treats headaches with herbal medicine), and the second, control group does not. Science is imperfect, but it provides much more reliable data than one person's advice based on his limited personal experience and assumptions.
Psychology of HappinessAnthony Baker, 2013
1.2. Is there happiness for everyone? About happiness and its definitions in the works of researchers
Happiness is, to some extent, the goal of all humanity and each individual person. Have you seen at least one homo sapiens who would say that he dreams of being unhappy? Very unlikely. And while we, striving for happiness, remember only its individual episodes.
In fact, the question of happiness has interested people at all times. And wise people, scientists, writers and philosophers, tried to define it. Let's turn to the wisdom of other people.
According to Ushakov’s explanatory dictionary of the Russian language, “Happiness is a state of well-being, joy from the fullness of life.” In Ozhegov’s dictionary the definition is slightly different: “Happiness is a state of complete highest satisfaction, luck, success.”
The philosophical dictionary already gives certain recommendations for achieving a happy life: “For happiness to be truly deep and lasting, life must be built around a specific goal.”
Already from these definitions we can draw several conclusions:
- first of all, happiness is really different
— happiness is interconnected with objective reality. If you have a successful life, you enjoy it, strive for your goal and achieve it - you are happy.
- happiness can be fleeting (“so that happiness is... deep and lasting...”).
Psychologists say that happiness is different for everyone. For some, material well-being will be happiness. For some - children and family, favorite job, friends, hobbies. Happiness is a life filled with meaning. Moreover, life should be meaningful for you. Think about it, when do you personally feel like a happy person? In fact, many of us enjoy doing what we love. Or heading towards a goal. For example, if you find happiness in money, you can experience this feeling while doing even boring work: after all, the desired goal is warming ahead of you. Happiness is in our hands, according to psychologists.
The great people of antiquity offer us their “recipes” for happiness:
“Happiness is when you are understood, great happiness is when you are loved, true happiness is when you love” (Confucius). It's hard to disagree with this statement. Emotions truly bring us happiness and satisfaction in life. But are they the only ones? Is it only the outside world that makes us happy?
The sages say no. Pythagoras recommends looking for happiness within yourself. Cicero joins him, clarifying that he who depends solely on himself will be happy.
Leonardo da Vinci is convinced that happiness lies in work. Helvetius joins him.
In fact, happiness—even among the sages—is elusive. They all define it a little differently. They agree on one thing: to be happy, you need to seek this very happiness. Either in love, or in life and activity. Mind your own business, go towards your goal - and you will achieve a state of happiness. At the same time, paradoxically, happiness lies in ourselves: if we don’t see it, we are unlikely to feel it.
Chesterton’s definition is interesting in this regard: “Happiness is a mystery, like religion, it should never be rational.”
The definitions of happiness from famous people of the twentieth century are interesting. For example, Erich Maria Remarque states: “Happiness is the most uncertain and expensive thing in the world.” Coco Chanel contradicts: “Genuine happiness is inexpensive, if you have to pay a high price for it, then it is a fake.”
In fact, happiness is different for everyone. And we can hardly say that someone’s definition of happiness is true, and someone else’s is not entirely true. We have to decide for ourselves the question of what happiness is for us.
From problems to HAPPINESS. Psychology. Comprehension of Truth. Issue 4
How to get rid of problems? What is happiness and how to find it? People sometimes search for answers to these questions throughout life. Today there is a lot of information and recommendations from specialists on this issue. But the result, as a rule, is either short-term or completely absent.
Where do people look for answers?
In search of answers, people quite often turn to psychologists and psychiatrists, since psychology is a science that studies human nature, the causes of internal and external conflicts, and ways to overcome various life situations. But today there is a definition in science that happiness and constant stay in it is a pathology and is not a natural state for a healthy person. The question arises: why are most requests from healthy people to specialists based on the search for happiness and the reluctance to be in negative states?
In issue 4 “From problems to HAPPINESS. Psychology. Comprehension of the Truth” experts reveal the following questions:
- what is the root cause of any problem in a person’s life;
- how to get rid of psychological problems;
— what is the mechanism for triggering negative emotional states;
— what is real Happiness and how to stay in it constantly;
- Why is it accepted in society that happiness is not the norm for a healthy person?
Participants in the issue share their practical experience, as well as personal observations in their work on themselves. They say that for a long time they were also in search of answers to numerous questions that worried them as specialists and as ordinary people. They received answers after becoming acquainted with Primordial Knowledge - books by Anastasia Novykh and programs with the participation of Igor Mikhailovich Danilov.
Personal experience of psychologists
Psychiatrist and psychotherapist Diana Oleynik shared the following: “In the program “WHAT IS HAPPINESS?” Igor Mikhailovich just said that true happiness is impossible without freedom. This is freedom precisely from the power of consciousness, from the power of those thoughts that are imposed on us, and the understanding that they are being imposed on us. Because when the understanding comes that I am not these thoughts (well, how can these thoughts be mine, does it turn out that I constantly mock myself like this?), then it really becomes easier for us. You understand this freedom. Freedom is to give it up. The more I control and give up power, these commanding thoughts, the more freedom I gain. So, step by step, this experience accumulates. You begin to understand what freedom is. Real freedom is only internal freedom: freedom from the power of the beast, from the power of consciousness, the freedom that is inside us. It's actually simple. We just need to understand who we really are, that we are endowed with enormous power, and what we give this power to is what happens to us. If we give in to these nonsense, if we believe in them, then we get unhappiness. We pay attention, direct, return this power of Love to the Source of Love - then we have Happiness!”
Thanks to the Primordial Knowledge, the answers have been given that true Happiness is the natural state of every person, the source of which lies in the internal choice that is made throughout life in every moment. A clear understanding also comes: how to get rid of problems, what is their root cause, how to find happiness and inner freedom.
Psychologist-consultant Marina Timokhina o.
