School bullying as a psychological and pedagogical problem article

Most of our country’s residents know what bullying is, although few have heard of the word itself. Bullying is bullying organized by some members of society against others. This phenomenon manifests itself in a variety of social groups: at school, at work, in a group of peers and, of course, in the army, where bullying is called hazing. What explains this phenomenon and is it possible to fight it?

What is bullying

Bullying (jarg: bullying) is aggressive persecution of one of the members of a team (especially a group of schoolchildren and students, but also colleagues) by another, but also often a group of people, not necessarily from one formal or recognized group. The persecution is organized by one (the leader), sometimes with accomplices, and the majority remain witnesses. When bullying, the victim is unable to defend himself from attacks, thus bullying differs from a conflict, where the forces of the parties are approximately equal. Bullying can be in both physical and psychological forms. Appears in all age and social groups. In complex cases, it may take on some features of gang crime. wikipedia

The concept of “bullying” appeared in the 20th century. But it acquired modern significance relatively recently, thanks to the author of the book “Bullying at School,” Norwegian psychology professor Dan Olweus.

The professor conducted the first study among schoolchildren in Norway and Sweden on issues of school bullying. It turned out that 15% of children regularly face situations of bullying, 9% of respondents are victims, 7% are aggressors, and 2% act in both roles.

But here is the data from a modern study conducted in the United States in 2016: 13% of schoolchildren were subject to verbal bullying, 12% became objects of gossip, 5% were subjected to physical violence and 5% were excluded from communication.

In simple words, bullying is intimidation, mockery, bullying - this is the aggression of some children against others, when there is an inequality of power and the victim shows how much it hurts her.

Types of bullying

• physical – direct physical actions towards the victim (pushes, kicks, beatings, sexual harassment);
• verbal – threats, insults, ridicule, humiliation;
• socio-psychological – bullying aimed at social exclusion or isolation (gossip, rumors, ignoring, boycott, manipulation);
• economic – extortion or direct taking of money, things, damage to clothing;
• cyberbullying (from English - cyberbulling) or Internet bullying - bullying on the Internet through social networks, email. Involves spreading rumors and false information, hacking personal pages, sending negative messages and comments. It is the youngest and most dangerous type of bullying, since it is very difficult to defend against it and find the sources where the threat comes from. There was even such a concept as bullicide - suicide committed due to bullying on the Internet. The most famous case occurred in the USA in 2006. A mother, together with her thirteen-year-old daughter, harassed a minor acquaintance on the MySpace social network under a fake profile. The girl could not stand the bullying and committed suicide.

Who is involved in bullying?

In a bullying situation, the victim, the aggressor and observers usually take part, i.e. participants in bullying.

Victim

There can be absolutely any reason for bullying. The most common victims are children:

• with physical disabilities or developmental disabilities (reduced hearing or vision, cerebral palsy, etc.). Those suffering from diseases that separate them from the group;
• unsure of themselves, withdrawn, with increased anxiety and low self-esteem;
• with features of appearance (freckles, fatness/thinness, etc.);
• with low intelligence and learning problems, poor students;
• “favorites” of teachers or, on the contrary, outcasts.
• straight-A students;
• physically weak children;
• children overprotected by their parents;
• sneakers;
• children of teachers;
• do not have modern electronic innovations or have the most expensive of them, inaccessible to other children;
• child prodigies;
• children with a non-trivial worldview that differs from the standard (“white crows”);
• children of poorly supported (poor) parents;
• representatives of national minorities;
• representatives of sexual minorities.

What all victims have in common is the inability to resist the offender, to defend themselves, to fight back.

Aggressor

A potential bully is a person:

• with low self-esteem, which he seeks to raise by humiliating others;
• seeking to be the center of attention at any cost;
• aggressive, cruel, prone to dominance and manipulation;
• more often with problems in family and parent-child relationships.

Aggressors can be children both from disadvantaged families and from families with high financial status.

Observers

This is the largest category of participants in school bullying. Bystanders are the people who become involved in the bullying situation. Here, as a rule, there are three options for the development of events.

1. Or the observer comes to the victim’s defense, finding himself under attack and risking becoming a new victim (remember the boy from the film “Scarecrow” who defended Lena Bessoltseva).
2. Or the observer takes a passive position, intervening in the conflict in no way.
3. And the third option is when the observer actively encourages the aggressor and after some time joins him.

Participants in a bullying situation
Unfortunately, in a bullying situation it is useless to take a distant position. Even if only one classmate is attacked and your child “does not concern”, observers receive no less, and sometimes even more, traumatization.

There is even a term in psychology called “observer trauma.” Often the child cannot independently cope with the experience of observing ongoing violence.

Bullying damages the mental health of not only the victim, but also children who are in the position of silent witnesses.

Among adults

Bullying in psychology is not only a problem of children's groups. Most often, bullying occurs in work groups. Victims of bullying are more often adults who were bullied by their parents or school as children.

Signs of “adult” bullying include:

• Ridicule.
• Spreading rumors.
• Slander.
• Withholding information.
• Unfounded harsh criticism.
• Humiliation.
• Social isolation.

The victim is bullied in various situations by a manager or by a team.

Reasons for bullying:

• The aggressor unknowingly chose the victim because of his qualities - timidity, shyness, tightness.
• Intentional terror of employees occurs due to the desire to remove them from their positions and weaken their professional influence in the team.
• The aggressor boss bullies the employee to increase his authority among his subordinates.

Bullying in the workplace can develop in stages.

Stages of development of bullying in a team:

• Formation of a tense situation. You can notice a bad emotional mood in the team. It contains unresolved conflicts.
• The aggressor is looking for a victim to relieve tension. He unconsciously or consciously chooses the most sensitive of his colleagues. Emotional abuse begins. Ridicule, excessive criticism, and accusations appear.
• Active violence phase. In work teams, there are most often 2 types of bullying – emotional and cyberbullying. The aggressor regularly attacks the victim. They do not depend on his professional achievements and real actions. The victim feels constant pressure and stress.
• Isolation of the victim. The victim shuns the team, especially the aggressor, and avoids places where colleagues gather.
• The final stage of bullying may be dismissal. The victim, of his own free will or due to pressure from the aggressor, leaves his job. The victim does not always reach such a decision. Sometimes people endure bullying in a group for years.

Adults often become victims of bullying because of their attitudes towards LGBT people. The very attention to non-traditional orientation causes great negativity among a large part of society, especially in the post-Soviet space.

Gay orientation and a positive attitude towards LGBT people often become the reasons for bullying. There are a large number of homophobes in Russia. The country also actively encourages inequality and discrimination on this basis.

The impact of bullying on its participants and consequences

Now let's trace the impact of school bullying on each of its participants.

What does the aggressor get in a bullying situation? Again, a feeling of one’s own “coolness”, impunity, “omnipotence”. In the future, this leads to an even greater development of destructive, i.e. personality-destroying qualities, deviant behavior and, as a result, registration with the Commission on Minors and Problems with the Police.

What do bullying observers get? Shame and guilt for not helping the victim showed weakness.

And, of course, the most severe psychological trauma is inflicted on the victim of bullying. Even many years later, as adults, victims remember all their painful experiences associated with bullying.

Psychologists note that school bullying is comparable in severity of consequences for the psyche to family violence.

1. The victim of bullying begins to develop psychosomatic disorders: frequent headaches, problems with sleep and appetite, and chronic diseases may worsen.
2. Plus, there are depressive disorders, increased anxiety, and neurotic manifestations.
3. And the most serious reactions to bullying are suicide attempts or school shooting, when a child can no longer tolerate ridicule and bullying and decides to take revenge on the offenders using explosives or bladed weapons.

What is the danger?

The consequence of bullying is severe stress. At such moments, the cortical system of the brain reduces its work and the work of the limbic system increases.

The limbic system is responsible for human instincts, and the cortical system is responsible for thinking. A moment of severe stress means danger for the body, so a conditioned reaction of the limbic system appears, which is formed in humans in evolution: fight, run or die.

The victim of bullying has a desire to “escape”—to get away from the situation. There is also a desire to “die” - that is, the person simply freezes and does not move.

A distinctive feature of bullying is the regularity of the aggressor’s actions towards the victim. The victim's body is constantly under stress. At this time, a large amount of the hormone adrenaline is released. There is constant anxiety, tension, headaches. Adrenaline blocks digestive processes and a person loses their appetite. Heart rate increases. Possible disruption of the immune system.

Regular processes in the body that arise due to stress cause a number of problems:

• Psychological.
• Physical.
• Social.

Bullying in psychology is the cause of low self-esteem, self-doubt, and isolation for the victim. The risk of depression increases. Chronic anxiety appears, panic attacks are possible. Victims (especially children and adolescents) contemplate suicide.

In the absence of outside help, victims lose hope for a positive solution to the problem. Therefore, suicide for them is relief from suffering.

The physical consequences are:

• Regular headaches.
• Depressed state.
• Loss of appetite.
• Sleep problems.
• Social isolation.

The aggressor is often bullied in the family. Therefore, his self-esteem may also be low. He feels a feeling of constant anxiety, irresistible aggression arises, anger that a person cannot cope with.

Bystanders also feel the negative effects of bullying. Bystanders who do not help the victim feel fear and helplessness.

How to recognize bullying and why it is dangerous

If a child has been a victim, but does not talk about it directly, bullying can be guessed by other physical and psychological signs.

• Unreasonable pain in the abdomen and chest;
• Reluctance to go to school and poor academic performance;
• Nervous tics, enuresis;
• Sad appearance, restlessness, anxiety;
• Disturbed sleep, nightmares;
• Long-term depressed state;
• Increased frequency of colds and other diseases;
• Tendency to solitude, reluctance to communicate;
• Problems with appetite;
• Excessive compliance and caution;
• Gets tired quickly and cannot concentrate;
• He withdraws into himself, becomes touchy, often repeats “you don’t understand me!”...;
• Often follows the lead of other children, is afraid to express his own opinion;
• Bruises, torn clothes and briefcases, “lost” things are a common occurrence;
• The child avoids crowds, group games, clubs;
• The child has no friends;
• During breaks, the child tries to stay close to adults;
• Afraid to go to the board;
• No desire to go to school or extracurricular activities;
• Doesn't go to visit friends;
• Constantly looking for excuses not to go to school and began to get sick often;
• The child goes to school using different routes;
• Pocket money often goes missing;
• Returns from school depressed;
• Never mentions any of his classmates;
• He talks very little about his school life;
• Doesn't know who to call for lessons or refuses to call anyone at all;
• Lonely: no one invites him to visit, to birthday parties, and he doesn’t want to invite anyone to his place.

What should a child who is a victim of bullying do?

Now I would like to address the children:

1. If you are bullied at school, called names, damaged clothes and things, be sure to tell an adult about it: parents, teacher, older friend. Remember: asking for help is not weakness, but the decision of an adult in trouble.
2. Don't be afraid that "it will be worse" if you tell someone what is happening. It will really be worse if you are left alone with your problem. There will always be someone who is stronger than your offenders and can protect you.
3. If you are being bullied on the Internet, be sure to save all correspondence, videos, and voice messages in order to use them in the future as evidence of cyberbullying.
4. If the subject of bullying can be corrected, correct it. If you can’t, don’t feel guilty.

What NOT to do

• Aggressively argue or respond in kind;
• Threaten the bully;
• Pretending that you don't care or that you're funny when you don't;
• Run away, hide, cry, complain.

How to do it

• Calmly shrug your shoulders and smile;
• Ask a counter question (“Do you think so?”);
• Agree (“Yes, I have shortcomings, I myself know about them”);
• Allow to think so (“This is your opinion”).

The most important thing is to understand that the words and actions of a bully do not change the victim of bullying in any way and that an indifferent attitude towards bullying attempts is what will put the bully in a stupor.

Video: How to stop bullying

How to deal with haters?

• Ignore them. Go away. Don't react or respond to negative comments. If this continues, there are other actions you can take. If someone threatens you, tell a parent, teacher, or other adult.
• Block online haters. If someone makes negative or hateful comments on your posts or account, block them. If they threaten you, inform your parents, inform the platform administrator by taking screenshots.
• Be kind and respectful even to haters. This shows that you are in control of your emotions and don't let negativity bring you down.
• Be with your comrades. Having a friend nearby when you think you might encounter a hater not only reduces the likelihood of an incident, but also means you'll have support.
• Remind yourself that comments from haters are a reflection of themselves—it's not really about you. People who feel good don't need to put others down.
• A stream of criticism can be a sign of pain. People sometimes lash out because they have other difficulties in life. Negative comments may have nothing to do with you personally.
• Open up your feelings. Talk to a trusted adult or friend and get support.
• Keep being yourself. Keep moving forward, pursuing your interests and being who you are.

For parents whose children have experienced bullying at school

And now some advice specifically for parents whose child is being bullied at school.

The first and most important point is to relieve the child of guilt!

Explain that it is not his fault that he was bullied. The child is in no way worse than others, he just finds himself in a difficult situation for himself, from which his parents and teachers will help him find a way out.

After this, you can have a normal conversation about what happened with your child. Here are phrases to help you start a dialogue.

• "I believe you". This will let the child know that together you will cope with the problem.
• "I'm sorry this happened to you." This is a signal that you share his feelings.
• "It is not your fault". Show your child that he is not alone in this situation; many of his peers are faced with different types of bullying and aggression.
• “It’s good that you told me about this.” Prove that the child did the right thing by contacting you.
• “I love you and I will try to make sure you are no longer in danger.” This phrase will allow you to feel protected and look to the future with hope.

Always try to maintain a trusting relationship with your children so that they can ask for help in time in case of school violence.

1. Let your child know that you are on his side. Support and reassure: “It’s good that you told me everything! I believe you. It's not your fault what happened. I will help you".
2. Talk to him confidentially about the current situation. Explain to him further actions and course of action.
3. Help your child gain self-confidence and the ability to resist peer attacks.
4. Talk to the class teacher, teachers, and parents of your child’s abuser.
5. If the situation is serious and cannot be resolved peacefully, consider transferring to another school or class. Again, this is an extreme case, since the same thing can happen again in a new place.
6. In a cyberbullying situation: if the bully is known, block messages from his address or complain to the site administration. If the aggressor remains anonymous, print out the correspondence, take screenshots of pages with videos and photographs and go straight to law enforcement agencies.

The task of parents is not just to protect and support a child facing a situation of bullying, but also to teach him correct, healthy communication with people around him. In everyday life it is very difficult to avoid encounters with evil, cruelty and aggression. The child must learn to say “no,” not to succumb to the provocations and manipulations of his comrades, to know that sometimes it is better to let adults in on his problems than to figure it out on his own, and to be sure that his family will not brush him off, but will help and support him in difficult times.

Educational psychologist Olga Tkachuk told how to recognize a problem in a timely manner and deal with it correctly.

– Bullying is a very fashionable word these days. It is often used to describe any conflict that occurs in a children's group, when someone insulted someone, called someone else, or hit someone. But not every quarrel is bullying.

Yes, bullying begins with isolated episodes of psychological or physical violence. But whether these isolated or even repeated cases will become permanent, long-term and systematic (and this is what distinguishes bullying from conflict) depends on how long the victim will endure and hide his experiences and how the environment will react to this.

Signs of bullying are inequality of power among the participants, aggression, deliberate nature on the part of the instigators and an acute emotional reaction of the victim (the person suffers from what is happening).

In my work as a school psychologist, I encountered individual episodes of attacks on a child’s personality, but this topic was stopped at the very beginning, picked up by parents and/or class teachers, administration, psychologist, and it did not reach the point of bullying. It is important here that in the school itself there is a clear rule at the forefront: in our country, violence and bullying are unacceptable and are stopped immediately. This rule should be shared by all adults - from the director to teachers.

Appeal to the teacher

Talk to psychologists and teachers. You can contact them directly at school or at an NGO. The main thing is to convey that this is a common problem that you would like to solve, and not make complaints.

If talking does not help and the school cannot protect the child from bullying, you can file a lawsuit. Use the Code of the Russian Federation on Administrative Offenses (Part 2, Article 5.57).

In case of physical violence it is necessary:

• Stop taking your child to school;
• Collect evidence (health certificates, damaged items, screenshots of correspondence, and so on);
• Write a statement to the police and prosecutor's office;
• Contact officials (local Department of Education, Rosobrnadzor, Commissioner for Children's Rights);
• Attract public attention.

Consequences of bullying

Bullying in psychology is the moral or physical violence of an aggressor against a victim. Actions are regular. Bullying has serious consequences for everyone involved.

The victim subsequently avoids society. It is difficult for a person to make new acquaintances and it is difficult to adapt to a new team. Victims are more likely to be depressed and experience chronic anxiety and panic attacks.

Without working through the trauma with a specialist, child victims carry this scenario into adulthood. There is a high probability that bullying will happen again in the future.

There is a separate type of victim who endures bullying for a long time, cannot cope, and does not receive the necessary help. Subsequently, such people themselves become aggressors. They generate new aggression, new bullying for other people.

Bullying among children creates stress in the entire team. Children feel fear and anxiety. Because of this, the children's psyche is depleted, the incidence of colds in children increases, as the functioning of the immune system is disrupted. Diseases associated with the cardiovascular system may occur.

Because of bullying, a person loses concentration and becomes distracted. Children's academic performance is deteriorating.

What should a teacher do?

The problem of bullying at school and in the classroom is a separate big topic. Here is just one example of what a teacher can do.

Situation: two girls announced a boycott of the third. The teacher, having received the consent of the victim and her parents, organizes a meeting with the initiators of the boycott and four other children who have taken a neutral position. The teacher explains to the children how the girl feels and asks them to come up with two or three possible solutions to reduce her suffering. Feeling the importance of their mission, children are actively involved in the “project”. Once a week, all participants meet and talk about their successes. After several such meetings, the situation, as a rule, exhausts itself.

However, unfortunately, not all parents find support from the school. Then almost the only “option” is to go to family education. Simply changing schools does not always work, as bullying can happen again. During family training, you will have plenty of time to discuss your traumatic experiences with your child.

Help the victim of bullying

Child psychologist Regina Conversation
1st method . "Collection of virtues." When someone behaves aggressively towards a child - physically or mentally, his self-esteem seriously declines. Therefore, one of the ways to help your child is to make a list of his good qualities that will make him stand out from the crowd. The next time the child encounters a bully, a list of his positive traits pops up in his head.

– I can see the picture: the conventional Petechkin is walking against the conventional Vasechkin with his fists, and Vasechkin proudly recalls: “Ah! I’m such a good guy, I’m good at Bach!”

– It’s not so primitive. It’s just that if a child knows his strengths, he doesn’t have internal anxiety - I don’t mean anything, I don’t know how... And such confidence affects his behavior in conflict situations.

2nd method. Follow the principle of an impenetrable wall. We tell the child: imagine that you are surrounded by an impenetrable wall. There, behind her, someone is screaming and making noise - but you don’t seem to hear him. You can even put headphones in your ears and pretend like you're listening to cool music.

- Yeah, but our Petechkin will pull out these headphones and even tear them...

Personal video greeting from Santa Claus:

– He won’t dare if you do it with a sense of dignity (and you already know what list of advantages is inside you). However, this is really advice not for everyone, but for those who have good endurance.

3rd method . "Offender Problems" Suggest to your child: imagine that everything the bully says applies not to you, but to him, to the bully’s personal problems. Because a person who has order in his head is unlikely to behave this way. And the child begins to see and evaluate the situation differently, and even his body begins to emit different smells! After all, if you look into psychophysiology, when a person tenses, he smells sweat. If he is constantly tense, then the smell is constantly with him. You know: if a person is afraid of a dog, she feels it. The same is true in the human world. At the level of the laws of nature, we are all one.

4th method . "Pachyderm Elephant Technique." We learn self-hypnosis: “I am an elephant, I am thick-skinned, and everything offensive that they say to me bounces off me like a ball.” Don't dwell on resentment. The more upset the victim is, the more interesting it is for the tyrant.

5th method. Teach children to parry attacks. For example, a bully at school says to a classmate: “You’re scary,” and she responds: “You’re so cute.” The offender says to her: “You’re a fool,” and she says to her: “You know better, you’re smart”...

The point of these methods - thick skin, parrying - is to prevent the words of the offender from penetrating your territory. As soon as this is allowed, you begin to believe what is said and also become an unwitting player in bullying.

6th method . Play board and team games with children. So that the process of the game itself is important to the children, and not the opportunity to win.

7th method . Let your child realize himself and train his strong side. For example, circles in which he will assert himself, where his self-esteem will grow.

Memo for parents: how to stop bullying

How to stop child bullying - a guide for parents

From personal experience

“High school students attacked my son”

Regina Beseda, a mother of three children, shared a story when she herself had to stand up for her son.

– I found out from a general school parent chat on a social network that my boy (he was in the 8th grade) was beaten by 10th graders. The elders decided to punish the younger ones for being too noisy. They took out a belt and hit the boy. It turned out to be my son.

The class teacher told me: they’ll figure it out themselves. How?! 10th and 8th graders cannot figure it out on their own - they have different interests and physical parameters. Therefore, a meeting was scheduled, there was the whole company of high school students, teachers of both classes and representatives of the parent committee of the 10th grade, who... came to fight with the 8th graders! They tried to blame the guys: they said they almost beat themselves. From which I once again concluded that the problem of children’s behavior is a problem of parents’ behavior.

Then I said that I would write a statement - directly to the prosecutor's office - about moral and physical violence. And what will be said about the teacher who allows such behavior in the class. And about parents who encourage this behavior in their children. The conversation immediately took a different direction. That is, as soon as we start talking about the legal side of bullying (and bullying in the West is a legal term that implies punishment), the question is exhausted. Parents began to look for options - how to interact, how to make friends with children...

What to do if your child is a buller

Most often, children who are exposed to domestic violence, as well as those who have experienced traumatic moments in the past, become bullies. If a father beats and humiliates a boy at home, then with a high probability the next day he will try to take it out on his weaker classmates. Such a child undoubtedly needs the help of specialists, but the main thing is to analyze what is happening in your home.

But there are cases when a bully has high self-esteem coupled with reduced empathy and is fully aware of his actions. Such a child needs strict boundaries and clear consequences for his actions. Talk to him about it. Talk about your experiences as a victim or an aggressor.

Pay attention to the child’s surroundings: whether he is being abused by older friends (sometimes constant sarcastic remarks are enough).

Finally, go to a consultation with a family psychologist so that everyone can figure out what’s happening together. It is often impossible to do this on your own.

Reasons for bullying

Bullying is an antisocial attempt to assert oneself.

Reasons include:

• The desire to attract attention.
• Demonstration of one's strength.
• Hiding your insecurities and fears.
• The desire to dominate and rule. The desire for individualized power.
• Psychological trauma. Often former victims become future aggressors.
• Fear. The aggressor is afraid of being in the victim’s place, so he uses his cruelty.
• Heightened self-esteem.

Aggression is a defensive reaction of the human psyche. It occurs against a background of chronic anxiety, fear, and a feeling of helplessness.

Why are children often afraid to tell adults about this?

There are several reasons here. This may be unformed or broken trust between parents and child, or the child’s reluctance to “traumatize” the parents with his problems, or his own negative experiences that are simply paralyzing (fear, shame, guilt).

There is also a myth in our society that asking for help is weakness. You have to cope with everything yourself, asking for help is humiliation.

Often children themselves who have been bullied share this rule. “Mom, don’t interfere, I can handle it myself,” “they’ll laugh at me if I complain to someone.” Or perhaps they already had a negative experience when they trusted, and adults “ruined everything” - for example, they devalued, did not take into account the teenager’s experiences, or brushed them off.

Trust is a very fragile thing. And it is important that in the child’s immediate environment there is at least one adult whom he trusts.

Legal responsibility for bullying

The topic of bullying can also be considered from a legal point of view. Not everyone knows, but there are laws and articles prohibiting bullying.

Until the age of 14, their parents and the government institutions where they are located (school) are responsible for children.

From the age of 14, a person becomes personally responsible for SOME points of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation, that is, he himself begins to be responsible for his actions.

Criminal Code of the Russian Federation Article 111.

Intentional infliction of grievous bodily harm (psychological disorder also applies)

From the age of 16, FULL responsibility begins.

Criminal Code of the Russian Federation Article 110.1

Inducement to commit suicide or assistance in committing suicide

Criminal Code of the Russian Federation Article 117

Torture

Preventing school bullying

Due to his age, a child cannot protect himself from bullying. This is the work of adults. However, there are basic things that adults should explain to him to prevent bullying in the school environment.

• Telling adults you trust about cases of bullying is right, it’s not snitching.
• You need to strengthen your self-esteem and behave confidently. Be persistent and strong (at least outwardly).
• You cannot hope to take revenge with even greater cruelty. This will lead to new problems. It is better to look for friends among peers and use the most powerful weapon against aggression - humor.
• It is necessary to avoid situations in which bullying is possible and to refuse offers to participate in it.
• If you witness violence, you should immediately bring an adult or advise the victim to go to a trusted parent or teacher for help.

It is better to prevent any phenomenon than to eliminate its consequences, and school bullying is no exception. Prevention of violence at school lies in the correct attitude of adults towards these problems.

Dear teachers! You have no right not to know what is happening to your students and turn a blind eye to the aggressive “antics” of teenagers. Any information about violence must be verified and taken into account. In addition, it is necessary to pay attention to the formation of groupings in the class and the identification of “outcasts” and “black sheep.” You also look through your students’ personal pages on social networks, pay attention to posts and comments. Nobody encourages you to violate the internal space and meddle in the personal lives of your charges. But you are obliged to prevent, prevent violence and aggression and protect the weak. Organize events to unite the children's team, joint hikes, excursions, and field trips. Involve a school psychologist and social educator in the work on bullying prevention, cooperate with families - do not remain indifferent!

Dear Parents! Tell your children about the phenomenon of bullying and how you can protect yourself from it. Explain that telling an adult about your problem is not weakness, but a wise decision.

Guys! You are just starting to live, and in modern life you can find not only good things, but also a lot of evil, cruel, and wrong things. Learn to be stronger than evil, to say “no” when you are forced to do something bad, to fight back against the offender without losing your own dignity. Find friends with similar interests, communicate with those who will respect and appreciate you.

And finally

Now you know everything or almost everything about bullying at school. Yes, the modern world is truly cruel and dangerous. And the main danger lies in ourselves. Therefore, we cannot close our eyes to what is happening. At the slightest sign of bullying, sound the alarm, look for ways to help and resolve the situation.

If you are experiencing bullying at school, you need to seek help. Every day, under the yoke of fear and humiliation, worsens your state of mind, takes away your strength and undermines your basic trust in people. You have the power to stop this. You can. If you feel bad, don’t tolerate it.

And in conclusion, a video about how important it is to help a child who is a victim of bullying in a timely manner, to protect him in a timely manner, and not to be late...

Read also: A child is being bullied at school: 6 ways to make things even worse

Drawing attention to the problem of bullying

Next, I studied ways to attract people to this problem and ways to combat bullying.

Many people who are interested in the problem of bullying are trying to communicate its extent to society.

The problem is shown in films and TV series about teenagers. The directors are trying to convey to the audience the consequences of bullying, what it can lead to and how to avoid negative consequences.

Examples of films and TV series:

1. Speak (2004)
2. Class (2007)
3. Telekinesis (2013)
4. 13 reasons why (2017)

Parents whose children are or have been bullied are coming out to rallies.

Volunteers who drew attention to the problem conduct play sessions with teenagers. The activities are aimed at changing their situation in the classroom.

Writers create books that everyone should read and draw conclusions from. Examples of books:

• “Verochka” A. N. Bogoslovsky
• "Nineteen Minutes" by Jodi Picoult
• "Mice" Gordon Rees
• "Truth or Consequences" by Annika Thor

Lectures on this topic are held in schools. By listening to a lecture, a teenager can recognize himself and realize his mistakes, or a person can find a way out of the situation.

Real stories of bullying at school and the fight against it

We created a short survey and were surprised how common bullying is. Read the stories of schoolchildren - perhaps one of them will help you stop bullying!

Asya:

They bullied me because of my big forehead! The way out is to change your perception of beauty, work with self-esteem and develop the ability not to waste emotional resources on stupid people. In general, the best remedy for “stupid” bullying is growing up, because both parties become smarter.

By the way, if you need to fight bullying here and now in a certain situation, then for me personally the best way is this: instead of showing shyness/offense/silence, or attacking back, or, as some advise, laughing with the aggressor, You can try to directly and calmly tell the person: “This is offensive/this hurts me/I hate to hear this/don’t say that, please, it upsets me.”

In short, the trick is that the aggressor is seeking these feelings, so such an answer can confuse him.

Dima A.:

I wouldn’t say that I suffered much from bullying - I managed without assault. But it still left a wound - mockery, jokes and the like. I struggled by simply starting to google answers to my questions.

This is what helped me gain confidence and resist resentment. After a couple of years, having stopped reacting to insults and joking about them, I gained authority in the class, and later my word began to have weight. Perhaps I was able to overcome bullying because people themselves grew up.

Olga K.:

In the seventh grade, during a physics lab, I broke a graduated cylinder. And that's because the stand was deformed. The teacher said that I was untalented, stupid and armless. In front of the whole class, he forced me to clean everything up. He told me to bring two cylinders as punishment.

I proudly and silently brought four the next day. He apologized, but quietly and during a break. The residue and the “talentless, stupid, armless” that pop up during failures still remain, but I haven’t been a schoolgirl for a long time... At such moments, I restrain myself from self-flagellation. I tell myself that the cruelty and unpedagogical behavior of this person is a consequence of narrow-mindedness and stupidity, and has nothing to do with me, much less speaks of my professional qualities and “handlessness.”

Vladislav K.:

I began to mock those who bullied me, and stopped responding cordially to their jokes.

Tanya K.:

There are quite a lot of people in our school who cannot assert themselves through their knowledge, so they assert themselves by humiliating their peers. Many people advise simply not paying attention to insults, but such behavior will not always stop the offender. In my case it didn't help.

If you can’t just remain silent, you have to act. But how? You definitely can’t answer them in their own manner.” “If a dog barks at you, you don’t get on all fours and start growling at it,” words that are worth remembering forever.

I did the following: when my offenders once again tried to insult me, I silently listened to everything they wanted to tell me, and then simply asked the question: “Why did you say that?” After this, the offenders are lost in thought and are unlikely to have a worthy response. If the incident happens again, you should do the same. Over time, the person will understand that you are confident in yourself and will stop asserting themselves at your expense.

Daniil M.:

There was rudeness and threats from the teacher. Something like this: “Where did you come from? If you open your mouth, they’ll kick you out for grades.”

Apparently, she felt her impunity. The voice recorder helped. The situation was resolved by conversation with the director and school administration.

Tatyana Y. (mother):

For the third year in a row, at the beginning of the course being studied, children are given quarter deuces in the first quarter. Then all the children hear from all sides is that they are poor students and nothing will happen to them.

As a result, one child, quiet and calm, stopped studying at all, and the second, proud, became so harsh and aggressive towards teachers that they prefer not to hurt him and peacefully give him a C. Here, by the way, are examples of successful and unsuccessful resistance.

I had to contact the director and the district education department. It seems that something has begun to change. But maybe it just seems

Since, for some reason, we cannot change schools, some advise threatening to take action to call into question the professional qualities of teachers.

Differences in bullying between children and adults

The main difference between childhood and adult bullying is experience. Any adult participant in bullying has more life experience. He has more opportunities to get out of the current situation.

An adult understands how to react to insults and ridicule. An adult independently decides to visit a psychologist or leave a job where bullying occurs. Children are experiencing bullying for the first time, so they are more vulnerable. To get out of the situation, they 100% need the help of an adult.

Another difference is that it is easier for children to change the space in which bullying occurs. This may include changing schools or sections. It is more difficult for adults to change their environment due to the great responsibility. Often adults do not leave the team where they are bullied because of financial need.

Children's and teenagers' groups are always managed by an adult. Parents, teachers, and educators can intervene in the situation.