The fact of betrayal always brings enormous pain and difficult experiences; there is not much difference between who committed it - a woman or a man. Although there are statistics about the ability to forgive. So wives justify their husbands in 70% of cases, and they, in turn, justify them only in 40%. This is due to the peculiarities of male psychology, its dominance and the notorious polygamy.
He may love his wife very much, but having many mistresses doesn’t bother him very much, it’s just that a new girl is always different. Knowing this, a man cannot even imagine that his beloved is capable of this. After all, for him, being a “loser” or a “downed pilot,” which is exactly how the situation that happened is perceived, is like death, it means that you are worse and less sexy than the other one. Husbands rarely think about why his wife took such a step, what prompted her to do this?
Reasons for wife's infidelity in the family
- Banal revenge for the humiliation suffered and conflicts based on jealousy. In the modern world, wives quite often “mirror” their husbands - if he is allowed to do this, why shouldn’t I try?
- An absolute disappointment in the marriage. The female psychological and behavioral construct is complex - it is the ability to endow her loved ones with those qualities and characteristics that the chosen one does not have in sight. And then, after some time, insight into self-deception comes, unless, of course, what was expected was confirmed. Resentment, regret and even anger often lead to adultery.
- Elementary “everyday life”. Family discord, quarrels, disputes and indifference to each other's interests and personal needs lead to disrespect and loss of any trust and interest in the spouse, let alone passion and love. This is a kind of cry for help. Well, how else to attract attention?
- Married early and hastily, the girl was neither morally nor spiritually ready for fidelity and decency. As people say, “I haven’t had enough time.”
- Geneticists have identified the so-called “treason gene.” Seriously! There are many of this type of woman and it is impossible to do anything; she will always be drawn “to the side”, to adventure. If she cheated more than once, then she is the owner of a similar gene, draw your own conclusions.
- Love is gone irrevocably and, if the heart is free, then the probability of falling in love with another person is very high. And where there is passion, there is sex.
In any case, female infidelity is always the result of long and painful experiences and worries, long thoughts and complex feelings, and not instinct or unconscious possession of other female bodies, like men. This is almost always a loss of trust and respect for the husband. But it is quite possible to return everything and win your beloved again, admitting your share of guilt, your omission and non-participation in it. What can alert and attract the attention of a spouse in order to prevent adultery?
Is it possible to forgive your wife's betrayal?
Should you forgive your wife's infidelity? For various reasons, a woman can make this mistake. But the “glue” that binds their relationship, if the spouses value them and have a reason to preserve the marriage, often gives rise to the desire to correct and rebuild the relationship. If it is not there, if the wife, by this betrayal, only sought to find an additional reason to break off the relationship, to aggravate the problem, to make the unspoken obvious - perhaps the marriage has already “died”, and there is nothing left to save.
A man needs to ask himself whether to forgive his wife’s infidelity, without blindly following the advice of family or friends. Because they often have a personal, albeit unconscious, motive to influence the course of events. This is how hidden revenge can manifest itself, which is often expressed in actively pushing for divorce, inciting problems and pseudo-participation. Or the person himself is left alone and is trying to impose the same life scenario on you, so as not to perceive himself so lonely, to strengthen his life strategy through you.
A man needs to look at his wife’s infidelity as an illustration of a crisis in marriage, a crisis created not by the wife on her own, but with their mutual participation. Figure out what you expect from your partnership, why didn’t you talk about this earlier, what needs to be introduced into your relationship to make cheating impossible in the future? This will allow you not only to sort out this problem, but will also enrich your family life. Sometimes, even if the marriage could not be saved, the analysis of this problem is useful to the man in the next relationship, and prevents similar difficulties in the new partnership, since they often depend on the man as well.
There is a categorical opinion that a person who has cheated once will definitely continue to cheat. And the man here experiences fear of the unknown, disorder, and lack of control in life with this woman. Sometimes, even when loving, he can experience the loss of trust so strongly that he decides to break off the relationship and remain single, and only after a while build a relationship, while choosing the most predictable woman as a partner.
A man more often experiences betrayal, like the betrayal of a partner in business - when he let him down and found his benefits on the side. Now it’s dangerous to deal with him, because where can we get guarantees that this situation will not happen again? Following logic, he forces himself to make a decision that will protect him. If this approach is close to you, then it is worth examining the directness and honesty in the woman’s behavior, not trying to exaggerate and denigrate her actions, not inflating the image of possible future problems, and also think purely logically about what needs she tried to satisfy on the side. It is possible that in your partnership her interests were infringed; she could not get something extremely important for her. Only by determining what it is will you begin to judge the situation more objectively.
Signs and preconditions of adultery
- the most striking one is that the phone is always nearby, constant correspondence with someone, privacy when talking, a new PIN code;
- there is no intimacy, or contact is very limited;
- stopped being interested in her husband, his free time and was indifferent to everything that was happening;
- too thoughtful and distracted;
- does not plan the future at all - spending weekends, vacations, shared leisure time;
- Recently I began to take extra care of myself and look much better;
- new hobbies have appeared that require a lot of time, resulting in frequent absence from home;
Cheating: how to avoid it
Since a woman is the keeper of the family hearth and it is traditionally believed that she is naturally endowed with the ability to be softer, more flexible, and thinner than a man, here are some other useful tips for you to note.
Is it possible to prevent betrayal in the family? Psychologists think so. Listen to their advice.
First, recommendations for women
Tip 1 . It is known that the self-esteem of a man in a family depends on how one of the people closest to him—his wife—treats him. Simply put, husbands need admiration, but wives exist to make their husbands proud. So, you should admire how good your husband is. To get what you need from your spouse, all you have to do is say how much you appreciate your husband’s efforts and how great it would be if he did a little more.
Tip 2 . First of all, a man needs sex, we must always remember this. The typical wife does not understand that a man needs sexual satisfaction, just as she needs devotion and affection. Make love every chance you get. Because the less intimate contacts between spouses, the less often they strive for it. And only borscht can hold a man...
Tip 3 . Now let's talk about rest. Husbands need company for recreation, and they sincerely expect that their wives will become companions: that is, that you will experience crazy delight in football, auto racing, fishing and action movies. After starting a family, the wife, as a rule, tries to protect her husband from “these bachelor addictions” and impose her own method of spending leisure time. This is what causes the husband’s unbearable desire to “break free” at least sometimes. Think about whether you are making the same mistake.
Tip 4. Husbands want their wives to be attractive and beautiful! So please take care of this.
Tip 5 . For a man, home is a calm, quiet haven where he can relax and gain strength before the “battles” of everyday life. At home he should be greeted with a smile and joy, and not with a dissatisfied face.
Now - recommendations for men
Tip 1 .
Communication. Communication between husband and wife is incredibly important. After marriage, husbands often stop talking to their wives. In this case, what do women begin to do? Look for another interlocutor. So, a woman needs a man also in order to talk to him. Tip 2. Feeling of attachment. You must support a woman's sense of affection, which means security, comfort, and support for her. You must always make it clear to your wife that you are her protection, support, and support. And also that you are proud of her.
Tip 3. Honesty and openness. A wife needs to trust her husband in everything that concerns his past, present and future. If a wife feels that her husband is deceiving her or hiding something, this destroys her sense of security.
Tip 4 . Finance. A woman needs money to make her life comfortable. And, of course, the woman expects that the man understands this and will help with this.
Tip 5. Fulfilling obligations. You must be a master of the house and a good father.
Commandments of an ideal wife
Don't try to change your husband
By forbidding your spouse to behave as he wants at home, you still will not change his character. At best, your husband will resist your pressure, at worst, he will simply withdraw.
Don't be completely honest
Do not tell your husband all the information about yourself. He doesn’t need to know that you’ve met a friend and everything is falling out of your hands with joy. Men are incorrigible owners. And they often become indignant at the mere thought that someone else is vying for the attention of his wife.
Don't forget about kisses
Psychologists say: a full-fledged voluptuous kiss given to a spouse brings loving souls together no less than warm and affectionate words.
Make time for two
Make it a rule to spend a couple of hours together at least once a week. But keep in mind: this advice does not apply to sitting on the couch together. It will only benefit you if you can get out of the house somewhere. A restaurant, a cinema, attractions - why not a place for such a holiday?
Don't make fun of him in public
If one day you have the desire to tell others about some innocent weakness of your husband in his presence - stop! Otherwise, your spouse will regard your action as disrespect for himself - and he will do the right thing. In addition, you can simply harm him: what if there is a person in the company whom your spouse wants to make a favorable impression on? And you with your revelations...
Don't lose your sense of humor
If a husband enjoys laughing with his wife, he will enjoy living with her. So laugh, just not at each other, but at some funny situation that your friend finds himself in, or at a funny TV story.
Put yourself in your spouse's shoes
Never allow yourself to do things that you would condemn in your husband’s behavior towards you. And don’t forget to warn your spouse that you are going to stay somewhere late.
Admit your mistakes
Admit your guilt if it is obvious. The ability to obey speaks of a person’s strength. People who unconditionally believe that they are always and everywhere right, according to psychologists, usually end their lives in sadness and loneliness.
Fight according to the rules
First, control your emotions. Don’t throw out all your anger on your husband, no matter how much it has accumulated. Second, don’t interrupt him, listen to the end. Third, do not give in to the temptation to say something offensive to your husband, not to the point, but just to hurt his pride. Fourth, don’t try to have the last word.
Share communication equally with your family
Make an agreement: you divide all your relations with relatives in half. You will gladly host his sister and children during the holidays, and he will meekly go to visit your parents whenever you want.
Plan big expenses together
This should be done especially if you are going to spend the general money set aside for family needs.
Be interested in your husband's wishes
If you don’t know for sure what kind of attention your spouse expects from you, ask him about it directly.
Don't wash dirty linen in public
Bite your tongue when you want to discuss your husband's behavior with someone. And especially don’t complain to relatives or friends. They still won’t help you with an objective opinion - because they don’t know the true state of things.
Don't play the silent game
If you are unhappy with your husband's behavior, do not punish him with demonstrative silence that lasts for several days. Silence for an hour or two is not harmful, but nothing more. It’s better to honestly admit that you were very offended, and for this reason you lost the desire to talk to him. This way you will not aggravate the conflict, and perhaps push your spouse to repentance.
Look your husband in the eyes
Try to meet your spouse’s gaze and smile at him more often, with or without reason. Is it possible to live in the world without the tender gaze of your beloved eyes?
The nature of female infidelity
What guides a man when he goes to bed with someone else? Exclusively physiology. He is excited by a beautiful figure, an alluring look, and a woman’s emancipation. Can you imagine a married lady who jeopardizes her family life just because of her lover's butt or biceps? The reasons for female infidelity need to look for deeper roots. The emotional sphere is always affected here, real feelings arise.
It’s a paradox, but a mature wife whose experience in family life exceeds 10 years is often susceptible to seduction. This is due to the lack of passion and the loss of the romantic component in the intimate life of a married couple. A woman’s actions are devalued, and words suddenly come first. Compliments and open flirting from a stranger are taken at face value. The dream of being desired and loved often throws married women into the arms of pick-up artists, street hooligans and outright womanizers.
How can you find out if your wife is cheating?
How to find out if your wife is cheating? Pay attention to the following points of adultery:
- absent-minded attention, unprecedented secrecy, attempts to avoid frank conversations;
- a sharp change in clothing style, hair color, makeup;
- the appearance of expensive things in the house, the cost of which does not fit into the family budget;
- your wife began to lead a healthy lifestyle, began to get involved in sports and diets, but does not show any attention to you;
- the spouse spends a long time on social networks and began to regularly clear the history of visited web pages;
- the other half began to make groundless claims, show aggressive behavior, behave irritably, be jealous, or vice versa, tries to please in any way, which was not typical for her before;
- a woman refuses when her husband offers to meet her from work or accompany her on an evening walk;
- During the quarrels, phrases began to slip through with threats of divorce, separation and the replacement of the husband with a more worthy candidate.
In addition to the fact that the wife’s changed behavior after cheating confirms the fact of infidelity, you can also apply some methods that will allow you to accurately find out whether a woman has intimate intimacy with another. The first way is through surveillance. This could be contacting a private detective or installing a video camera in your home to conduct covert filming while you are away. There is an option to connect your loved one’s phone to a special application for listening to conversations.
Peaceful conversation is one of the most effective methods for finding out the truth. Ask your wife a direct question: “Are you faithful to me?” Those who cheated on their husbands betray themselves with their behavior and conversation, and you will feel the untruth.
A good option is an urgent departure on a business trip, which can be combined with hidden filming in the house. Returning suddenly, there is a high probability that you will find out the truth.
The last method to find out whether your woman is cheating with her lover is a modern medical development: a fidelity test using a DNA sample, which can be a hair, a half-smoked cigarette, a condom, a glass from which a man drank, etc. Here, the examination will give a 100% result and will help identify your opponent.
Why do wives cheat?
Men are interested in: do all women cheat? Of course not, each case is individual, and when this happens, it is often the partner who is to blame. It is his behavior that leads his wife to commit many rash acts, including affairs on the side. The reasons for infidelity on the part of a woman can be:
- family difficulties;
- husband's indifference;
- dissatisfaction with the spouse in intimate terms;
- causeless jealousy;
- monotonous married life.
These unpleasant factors can serve as an impetus for the development of the classic story: while the husband is sleeping, the wife is cheating. Thanks to her lover, her self-esteem increases again, she gains confidence in her own abilities and has a feeling that she is desired. At the same time, love affairs outside the family are carefree and do not cause problems.
