Is it worth getting your ex-husband back?
When it comes to the advisability of returning your ex-husband, two alternative options come to mind. Either you proudly go your own way after a divorce, or you strive to return and maintain family relationships, preferably faster. But there is another way, which we will discuss later. Let's first see what happens in the first and second cases.
Option “Get your husband back”.
You separated. Each of you has begun a new life. Your man of heart is a stranger, he has his own family, or at least another woman. As sad as it is, let's face it. Are you sure you love it? Is your love unconditional? Or maybe you didn’t love him, but the way he cared for you and the children?
Then call a spade a spade: it was convenient for you to live with him. But times are changing. We have no right to force someone to be there. This is no longer love, but violence. Manipulating children is a sign of one’s own failure, not love. Such a marriage takes on an ugly meaning. Do you want this? Do you still want to get your husband back?
Those couples who have lived in perfect harmony for decades can hastily end their marriage, resort to emotional blackmail, and then regret it. The connection between spouses can be so great that it is not only the woman who finds it morally difficult after a divorce. In this case, return is possible if your ex-husband also strives for this.
Forget option
This is for self-sufficient, self-confident women. These won't go to waste. Being alone is not a problem for them. But a little time will pass, and half of them will start crying into their pillows. The illusion of freedom is destroyed. Your family relationships are your fondest memory. Now all sorts of improvised means are used: fortune tellers, psychologists, detectives. There is only one goal - the return of my ex-husband
What about if your ex-husband returned on his own, without deception and magic? The idea is that a woman who can reach a new level of consciousness will attract a worthy man. Whether he will be a former or future husband, time will tell. Either way, it's a win-win.
Time for yourself is an effective way to get your husband back
After a divorce, it is advisable not to waste vital energy on mourning or stupid intrigues. Take care of yourself! There is useful literature and trainings. First of all, you need to forgive your man and let him go in peace. You had a good time with him, so thank him! He is a person, not your property. He has the right to choose for himself who to marry, where to live together before marriage, and whether it is worth doing it at all.
If a woman puts family relationships in the foreground, it is no wonder that in the event of a breakup, she loses the most important thing. Or maybe it’s worth reconsidering your priorities before it’s too late? Sometimes a married woman stops not only taking proper care of herself. She misses the most important thing: professional growth and personal development. Why then do you need to return your husband? What if he sees an “old” picture? Remember that awakening a new interest is difficult, but losing it is easy.
The husband left and did not say the reason. Ignores communication with his wife
My husband is 8 years younger than his wife. Married for 9 years. They gave birth to three children. In December 2020, my husband left the family. Not long before. I came back from vacation and didn’t have enough money to pay for kindergartens, classes, and loans. I asked my mother-in-law for 2000 rubles. To which she wrote a refusal with a caustic accent, saying that we do not know how to save money. After that, I forbade the children to communicate with this grandmother. The children told this father, to which he reacted with a scandal. I, in turn, reminded him that he once slept on a crumpled, damp single sheet and ate a little better than a street dog. He left home to take a walk. We didn't make up the next day either. I went to the cinema with my eldest child. The husband didn't say anything. Next week I wrote nasty text messages to him: what time will you come home from work today? Because I’m not used to going to bed with a strange man.” There were merciful text messages. I offended him. Then she wrote that we needed to live separately for two weeks. On Saturday, I was ironing clothes and asked him to come to me as soon as he finished dinner. He responded to my proposal immediately. He came into the room where I was ironing and our conversation began difficult. But we were talking about divorce. He asked me if I had submitted this application. I arrogantly replied that there was not enough money. So he ran out of the apartment and couldn’t even hold on to a five-year-old child hanging on his leg. I didn’t hold him, I didn’t beg him. The next day, when he brought the children and me to the New Year's party, he said that he was leaving me, but he was not leaving the children. He will live in a place unknown to me and did not say anything else. We dropped off the children for the matinee, and we ourselves, or rather, I tried to find out why he left, tried to reason with him, and apologized for my actions. He was not inclined. After the matinee, he took me and the children to the house where we lived, and he left, saying that he would come in the morning and take us to the institutions. He didn’t come in the morning or at lunchtime. Until I wrote an SMS from another number that I would report the car stolen. And that the children were left alone at home and hungry. After this SMS he finally arrived. He blacklisted my phone number because I couldn’t reach him. He didn’t respond to the SMS, but, as it turned out, he read it. That day he came and took his things and left. He came a couple of times, only when I wasn’t at home, he put up the Christmas tree and left. He didn’t congratulate the children on New Year’s, and he doesn’t make contact with the children himself. The older child calls or texts himself. Hi Dad. I miss. He answers her. He tells the child that he loves them, but does not want to communicate with his mother. I did manage to talk to him once. The topic of the conversation was this: he and I, or rather I suggested to him actions that would help us in the near future, after he said that he did not intend to explain himself to me and said that live his life, he will not return to me. Then I announced to him about the divorce, that I was applying for alimony and other legally significant actions in our situation. If I could have known that everything would turn out like this, I would have thought a hundred times about what I say, what I do, what I think. The eldest child asked his father if he would return to them, to which he replied that he was still thinking. For now, I forbade the children from calling their father first. She told the father to make the first call and ask for a meeting himself. And she explained to the children that dad needs to think about whether he wants to live with us or not. The kids seemed to support me. I don’t forbid communicating with my father, but only after he himself wants to communicate and discards his prejudices about me. I need clear, concrete decisions from my husband. If he leaves me, but will communicate and help support them, then he must say so or live with us and we try not to break our family anymore. But so far there are no such actions on his part. And I also want to add that I asked him questions, tried to find out the reason for such an act. I spoke to him, he simply remained silent. He has changed a lot in appearance, he has become angry, alienated from me, a stranger. I told him about this, to which he replied that he had always been like this, he was real and that he was a man. He was never like this.
The guy walked away and didn't say anything (3 answers)
What to do if your ex-wife wants to come back after cheating
Even if your wife left for another man, you won’t be able to erase all relationships and feelings at once. And this is correct, because a person needs at least a year to recover from betrayal. But in view of the betrayal committed by the wife, it is very difficult to think rationally and make the right decisions. Therefore, you don’t need to give yourself a definite answer immediately when you find out that your wife wants to return to you after cheating. After all, no matter what decision is made, if it is made rashly, you can later regret it very much. On the one hand, all happy moments and feelings will be for reconciliation, on the other hand, unpleasant emotions associated with his wife’s betrayal.
Forgive your unfaithful wife? Over time, a man may realize that he really cannot forget this act. As a result, everyone will be unhappy.
On the contrary, to cross out once and for all everything that happened and not give my wife a single chance? And you may regret this. Again, after time, the man will understand that he is ready to forgive and wants to build his life next to this woman. But it may just be very late.
Therefore, many psychologists advise not to jump too quickly, but to give yourself a little time, weigh all the pros and cons and make the most correct decision.
How to tell if a man will return after a breakup
Divorce today is not uncommon; people break up quite often. There are many reasons for this, from banal everyday problems to betrayal.
Some women, after breaking up, try to forget about their past relationships and quickly arrange a new life, others fall into despondency and despair, and still others sit and wait for the man to come to his senses and return to the family.
But it’s worth talking about the first moment when a woman believes that in any case she will no longer contact her former loved one. Later, after some time, feelings calm down, and then regret comes, after which women wonder: do ex-husbands return to their wives?
75% of men return
As practice has shown, ex-husbands are indeed inclined to return to the family.
However, in such a situation, the woman has yet to find out how advisable this is.
Thoughts of men
Many male representatives often prefer to take a break in order to collect their thoughts, understand themselves, and understand a woman’s own desires and intentions.
They tend to analyze what happened, remember good moments with their beloved, regret some times, and feel nostalgic. As a result of this, most often there is a desire to renew the relationship.
After careful analysis, and sometimes even immediately, the man begins to make a plan to return his beloved.
Young guys are prone to sad feelings about the loss of their previous relationships and their girlfriend. There are times when confusion comes and questions arise about whether it is worth renewing previous connections. If during this time a woman has a new lover, jealousy kills feelings.
A feeling of resentment arises only in cases where the initiator of the breakup was a woman, or because of her betrayal.
Watch the video. How to get your ex back?
Reasons for separation
Initially, you should understand the reasons for such a categorical act of the second half.
How to forgive a cheating wife
Very often, after a woman’s infidelity, divorce occurs because the man cannot forgive the betrayal. Yes, he can love his wife madly and admit to himself that he will forgive and forget everything. But the subconscious thinks completely differently. And somewhere in the corners of a man’s soul lie grievances and pain that cannot be extinguished. Therefore, if you understand that you will never be able to forget that your wife cheated on you, that you will still remember it sometimes, the relationship has no chance.
But how to forgive if you really want it for the sake of restoring your family?
Instill in yourself one simple thought: everything you have in your life is your own choice. And marriage, and families, and wife. A woman is a man’s choice, so you need to put up with it. A woman must be accepted along with her strengths and weaknesses.
Also understand that no people are perfect. They simply don't exist. Everyone makes mistakes, both men and women. who knows, maybe cheating is an opportunity to strengthen and preserve relationships. It is not for nothing that in any religion, betrayal (if it is repentant) is considered a test for a person from above. This is a sin, having gone through and redeemed it, a person becomes wiser.
Of course, it is very difficult to forgive a person for betrayal. Especially if the betrayal was committed by a loved one. If a wife leaves her husband for another person, she causes great pain and suffering. This is not easy to forgive.
Imagine, you want to save your family, but you are afraid that thoughts about your wife’s betrayal will prevent you from truly loving her. In this case, try turning to religion. Any religion in the world will tell you about the need to forgive.
