Love at first sight: ALL the signs of this feeling and the opinion of psychologists

From movies to reality

And many films have been created about this kind of love. They so vividly and colorfully describe the chance encounters that became fatal for hearts in love, that in life they involuntarily begin to expect a similar scenario. Everything should happen in book or screen mode:

suddenly collided in a long corridor, dropped books or bags from their hands, bent down together to collect them, accidentally touched hands and...together felt a current of mutual sympathy, which gives rise to love at first sight;
or they found themselves together in a crowded subway car and, having met their eyes once, sent each other invisible, but almost visibly tangible messages of love with their eyes all the way, then got off at the same stop to continue to walk through life, holding hands and in the same direction;
or a new colleague joined the team and already at the stage of general acquaintance you felt those sparks that aroused interest on your part and attracted the attention of your chosen one, and then joint projects and unity of opinions, hobbies, plans and priorities, etc.

There are more than enough love at first sight scenarios in cinema. But you shouldn’t expect them to repeat themselves in life, depending on the situation, circumstances and your reactions. There is also a place for love at first sight in life, but it will happen differently for everyone. And it will be the beginning of an individual story, the end of which will depend only on the strength and sincerity of mutual feelings and the desire to be together. As a result, you will either break up, or in your old age you will be able to tell your grandchildren about your first meeting, which will be no worse than that of Hollywood stars.

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Love is the feeling that moves everything.
Sometimes she betrays. Sometimes it turns everything upside down and flies away like a boomerang, leaving you standing in the wind with an embarrassed smile on your face... A lightning strike, a spark, an explosion of the brain - love at first sight has many definitions. This feeling inspires romantics and makes skeptics doubt. So what is love at first sight? And does it exist in nature?

Agree, most of you, recalling your “life encounters,” remember that from the first minute of meeting you already had a premonition that something would connect you with this particular person, a feeling as if you had met an old friend whom you had not seen for a hundred years. A force, unknown and incomprehensible, pulled you to him, and the whole world made sure that you were together.

Chemistry and life

The question arises, why, out of the thousands of people who met on our way, this particular person left such an indelible impression? From the first meeting with him, your body seemed to have received a shake-up, your heart began to beat wildly, your body gained lightness (sometimes they say “wings grew behind your back”), and there was an incomprehensible joy in your soul? There are many versions about this.

Physiologists explain this through the action of pheromones - special substances secreted by a person to attract the opposite sex. They are odorless, but have an effect on certain receptors, causing strong emotions and sexual desire. Only one thing is not clear: why one person’s pheromones “cover you with a wave”, while you are indifferent to others.

Anthropologists believe that love at first sight

- this is the literal meaning. It's about the eyes, or rather their contact with the eyes of another person. They believe that this is an instinct that we inherited from animals. The animal's gaze forces it into a fighting stance and sends an impulse to the area of the brain responsible for action - to approach or leave. People perceive such a shake-up as falling in love. Studies have been conducted where unfamiliar men and women were asked to look into each other's eyes with varying degrees of intensity when communicating. It turned out that a long look only increased the feeling of falling in love and aroused trust in the partner.

If a person you like looks at you intently, you respond in kind. love arises

. And if you don't like this person, then you just look away and don't feel anything for him.

Some psychologists, followers of Freud, believe that a person’s first and bright love appears in childhood - this is love for his father or mother. And after girls become women, they look for a man like their father, and men, accordingly, for a woman like their mother. Therefore, if you had a good relationship with your father, then when you meet a man who is similar to him in appearance or in details, you may suddenly be overcome by a wave of “love at first sight.” Or vice versa, if there was a conflict with her father, then the woman is looking for a man similar to him in order to end the dialogue and prove that she is better than he thought about her.

According to another version, a woman unconsciously seeks a man who is similar to the man who once left an indelible impression on herself. It could be the neighbor boy who rode her bike as a child, the guy with whom she had her first love, or the first man in her life. Sexologists have coined a term to describe this phenomenon: “topography of love.” It’s like notches of pleasure and pain that remain in our heart. Therefore, when we meet a person similar to the one who gave us joy or despair, we immediately fall in love - contrary to all logic.

When a woman is alone for a long time, surrounded by the “wrong” men: low level of education, lack of culture, etc. She creates the ideal of her chosen one. And having met a man who even slightly fits this image, she begins to experience feelings of love for him. Sometimes people fall in love in response to someone else's feelings. If you are loved, you feel beautiful, smart, and you have a lot of healthy energy. And in return, you are ready to “repay” the same person who managed to raise your self-esteem so much!

People who are interested in mysticism are sure that there are couples who have a karmic connection, which means that they will meet in a new life and they will definitely get to know each other. This includes lovers who were once separated. Or enemies who have not forgiven each other. Having met in a new life, they continue the unfinished dialogue.

Epiphany

There may be more versions, but there is a question: can you trust this feeling that arose so suddenly? There are no guarantees in love. All you can do is, after recovering from the feelings that have washed over you, turn on your mind and ask yourself questions: what do you expect from this person and is what is happening now real?

You are attracted to a man only physically, then think about what connects you besides sex: education, interests, general social environment. Are you a graduate of the conservatory, and his favorite repertoire is Radio Chanson? Alas, you may be guaranteed mind-blowing sex, but you shouldn’t hope for a long-term relationship.

Having lost your head from love, think: maybe he is a gigolo or a pick-up artist? Most men use different techniques to seduce a woman.

Perhaps you “tried on” the image that you drew for yourself on a man, but it does not correspond to reality. And when you begin to notice the dissimilarity with your image, you will begin to feel irritated. But if, once you're attracted to a man, you can see him as a person and love him exactly as he is, then you can probably build a future with him.

Tired of loneliness, a woman begins to perceive any man who pays attention to her as ideal. This is mistake. There are no ideal people and you will not find a person who will completely match your imagined image. Love from loneliness is perceived as obsession.

It's good to fall in love with a man who already loves you. But there are two possible ways for events to develop: you will fall in love with gratitude, which means that this romance will soon end, since both of you will love one person - you. But if your man pushes you to love him too, then your relationship has a future.

Together forever

Love that arose at first sight is no different from love from the second or after six months of acquaintance. Life is full of stories of love at first sight, in which everyone is happy. But there are other stories when people look closely for a long time, check each other’s feelings, and after formalizing the relationship, they get divorced after a couple of months.

If you fall in love at first sight, enjoy this feeling. And it doesn’t matter what the continuation will be, the main thing is that you loved and were loved.

What is the role of gaze in the emergence of feelings?

But first, let’s figure out why they say this about a suddenly surging feeling and what the role of the eyes is in such insight in relation to another person. Firstly , the eyes are the brain’s first assistant to recognize all information about the world around us. Secondly , this is an organ that begins to work fully already in the womb - from the seventh month of fetal development. Thirdly , biophysicists note an anatomically and functionally borderline position of the eyes, which provides a connection between the perception of the external world and its internal assessment. Thus the eyes embody mediation and contact. It is not for nothing that eyes have vivid symbolism in the religion and culture of many nations. Fourthly , it turns out that you can tell about your feelings or learn about the power of self-love by looking at your partner’s eyes. Lovers want to look longer into the eyes of their other half and often, with the help of ardent glances, signal their sympathy, enthusiasm and passion. Well, fifthly , eyes also attract maximum attention. Many people judge another person by their eyes, often falling in love with their depth and openness of gaze. And this is probably why in the works of many poets and artists the eyes are given the role of the most expressive part of the face and the most pronounced evidence of the presence of feelings.

Love at first sight according to biologists

Love at first sight is no exception to the scientific approach, and representatives of different teachings are also trying to understand its nature. It is common for biologists to compare the relationships between people with the animal world. They quite reasonably believe that men and women choose their partners by smell. Or rather, basing your decision on pheromones that are produced by one person and act directly on the receptors of another person. Such attraction at the level of subconscious smell can cause quick sympathy for a person and even cause love at first sight. Biologists also point to the possibility of subconscious choice of a partner at the level of primary instincts, according to which in the fauna males choose a female, and in the human world, men and women look for a partner to procreate. Such instinctive attraction and passion also often causes love at first sight.

Be her ideal

This rule is very effective and at the same time almost impossible to implement if you are not the type of girl. All representatives have different tastes, which is quite natural and normal. Being the ideal for all girls will not work. However, there will always be beauties who fall for you.

For a girl to fall in love with you at first sight, you must match her type. What type of guy is she attracted to? Sometimes all this information is stored in the subconscious and always covers a girl with feelings when she sees a guy who almost or completely corresponds to the ideal.

You either meet this rule or you don’t. Since not all girls find you ideal, you should consider other options for attracting attention.

Love at first sight according to psychologists

Psychologists are more skeptical about love at first sight, understanding this feeling more as sexual attraction or purely spiritual intimacy. At the same time, they are absolutely sure that love at first sight is more common among emotional people with strong energy. Such people simply need to have a person nearby on whom they can throw out all their energy and share emotions with them. Therefore, psychologists advise not to rush to conclusions and not to rush to mistake ordinary love for love, which is characteristic of emotional individuals, but to approach the most important feeling in your life more judiciously and responsibly.

Afterword

In my opinion, love at first sight does not exist. Instead, people experience falling in love and a strong hormonal storm. The object of love gives us a feeling of lightness, we are in euphoria, and are characterized by increased performance. But as soon as the source disappears, an emotional setback occurs: insomnia, appetite disturbances, apathy, depression, and even a nervous breakdown upon separation.

Love is a deep and serious feeling. This is a complex of emotions and feelings, this is a form of relationship that includes mutual respect, mutual understanding, common plans and memories, jokes and phrases that only two people understand. Love may not happen at first sight, but infatuation can turn into love.

Interesting fact: according to statistics, love at first sight turns into a serious relationship in 15% of cases.

Love at first sight from the point of view of esotericists

There is also an interesting aspect of understanding love at first sight from the point of view of esotericists, magicians and predictors of the future. Some of them talk in this case about meeting their soul mate - a real soul mate. Others attribute this attraction to the possibility of transmigration of souls. In this case, the meeting of lovers will be a continuation of the love between these people in their past incarnations. In any case, esotericists advise not to ignore meeting a person who from the first minute seems very close and familiar to you for a long time. This may indeed turn out to be a gift of fate and a destiny from above. But preserving these feelings and carrying them throughout life is the concern of those who fell under the spell of love at first sight.

So, what must coincide for a feeling to appear?

There is another quite logical and interesting hypothesis, which explains that love at first sight is not a completely chaotic phenomenon that appears in your life. To start, it is necessary that at least three factors coincide:

Matching your brainwave frequencies. According to biophysicist Alexander Gurvinevsky, such a resonance can be observed in the form of stopping time, expanding space, a lightning flash, etc. At the same time, getting on the same wavelength as your partner is also determined by involving in the process the deep structures of the brain and the pineal gland, which is responsible for telepathy, intuition and the development of the sixth sense. This is precisely what can explain the fact that after a minute of eye contact with a stranger, you acutely feel closeness to him and can no longer imagine your life without him.
Similarity of facial proportions. This feature was noticed by British artist Susie Mellin, who developed this theory using the example of the couple Princess Diana and Prince Charles. Thus, by facial features, or rather, by their proportions, you can determine whether a person can interest you or whether you can evoke romantic feelings in him in the form of love at first sight.
Inner readiness for love. Thus, according to Italian psychologist Francesca Alberoni, love cannot flare up in the eyes of a person who is currently in a happy relationship or struggling with his personal problems. For a new feeling, there must be a willingness to change your life, discard the experience of past loves and completely open up to a new meeting.

So, if you do not find the listed factors in yourself, it will be difficult to achieve their complete coincidence and it is foolish to count on a gift of fate in the form of love at first sight.

When not to trust Cupid's arrows

There are several options for dating and attraction to the opposite sex, which can be mistaken for love at first sight, although in fact they can be explained by completely different reasons:

Narcissistic narcissists can be attracted to individuals whose behavior or appearance makes them fall in love with themselves. In this case, we are not talking about any feelings for another person. And very soon these relationships will end due to the inability to appreciate the personality in a partner, to see and notice his merits, and not just pay attention to his mirror image;
resemblance to parents. Childhood affection (“I will grow up and marry my mother/marry my father”) very often leads to the fact that such people will be subconsciously attracted to representatives of the opposite sex with similar facial features, timbre of voice and manners. Of course, in the future your partner will prove that he is completely different from your parent, which will cause your displeasure and irritation with this choice. Therefore, here we also cannot talk about true love at first sight.
searching for replacements for former partners. Often the gaze stops at a person who resembles an unhappy former love. In this case, too, we are talking about the substitution of concepts and the desire to see in a person something that a priori cannot be in him. As a result, there will be disappointments again, because the new chosen one will not be able to meet your requirements and the desire to make him essentially a clone of your ex.

What are the understandings and predictions of instant sympathy and attraction?

What should we even think about love at first sight? Can it become a feeling for life? These issues are constantly being studied in different countries. In this case, different assessment methods are used - from surveys, testing and to organizing first dates. And all just to understand such a concept as love at first sight. By the way, the results of such studies speak in favor of this feeling. Of the 400 women and men interviewed in the Netherlands who were matched for potential relationships, the majority confirmed that attraction sparked within the first meeting. In describing their feelings and emotions, they indicated all the symptoms characteristic of the feeling of euphoria from falling in love - rapid heartbeat, joy, emotional uplift, etc. Even more significant results were obtained by a survey conducted by Dr. Earl Naumann in America. More than one and a half thousand representatives of different races and religions took part in his study, most of whom also gave an affirmative answer to the question about the possibility of love at first sight. The same scientist also proved that the chance of falling in love at first sight increases to 60%, provided that you believe in this possibility of starting a strong and sincere relationship. As for the forecasts of love itself, here, as in any relationship, everything will depend on both partners, their desire to be together and go through life in the same direction.

There's an actual chemical reaction happening in your brain that makes you feel love.

Certain feelings for a new person arise because, without any conscious intention on our part, our subconscious mind forms an opinion about the person you met. But, unfortunately, this opinion is not always correct.

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If you feel like you have butterflies in your stomach when you meet someone, it could be because your brain is undergoing a chemical reaction that releases certain substances that make you feel a warm and slightly strange feeling. Your brain produces dopamine and serotonin - hormones of happiness and pleasure. It is because of these chemicals that you can feel an instant attachment to someone.

Since love at first sight implies that you liked the person even before you started communicating with him, we can say that it is primarily based on physical attractiveness, but not only on it, otherwise we would fall in love every time, when we meet a beautiful person. It's all about our subconscious, which believes that a person is attractive, based on some facts from our past, on our preferences and even life habits.

Recognizing the symptoms of love at first sight

How can you understand that a great and bright feeling has covered you after your first date or acquaintance? To do this, you should assess your condition and consider the following signs:

uncharacteristic shyness and feeling of embarrassment;
the appearance of blush on the cheeks, indicating a surge in hormones and increased heart rate;
the emergence of a feeling of kinship of souls, being on the same wavelength in any issue and the feeling that you have known this until recently stranger for many years;
the predominance of thoughts about a joint future - from planning pastimes, recreation, to drawing idealistic pictures of a future family life, common children, etc.;
a surge of positive emotions, which is often described as a feeling of “butterflies in the stomach” that occurs both when meeting a loved one and when remembering and thinking about him.

Subjects of love at first sight syndrome

Hopeless romantic

If you are a hopeless romantic, then you are one step away from love at first sight.

All or nothing

You don't know the limits when it comes to your feelings for someone. You either feel nothing for the other person, or the emotions that arise enslave you completely.

Moreover, you are unable to form romantic relationships with more than one person at a time.

You do not have a type of beloved woman (man)

Someone who is subject to the love-at-first-sight syndrome does not actually stick to their type, so anyone can spark their interest at any time.

This means that you are an open person, which is definitely great. But this also means that you are always at risk of love at first sight.

You tend to obsess

Obsessive thinking is an important characteristic of people suffering from love at first sight syndrome.

Because you can often go into deep thoughts about various events, you have a tendency to obsessively think about a new person in your life who occupies your thoughts for a long time.

You constantly think about the future

Although such people are in the present, their minds are always directed to the future. This means that you often fantasize about a future together, which intensifies your feelings for the object of attraction.

You don't fall in love with a person, but with their image.

This happens to many people, but in your case, similar situations arise all the time.

Since your romantic emotions flare up towards a stranger completely suddenly, you may become a victim of an ideal image you have invented, which is infinitely far from the real person.

You tend to sing the praises of a person who absolutely does not deserve such treatment. In other words, sometimes you can ignore reality, and this is dangerous.

Looking for the benefits of meeting your person

Oddly enough, a spontaneous uncontrolled feeling (which, by the way, can very well be the foundation of a strong relationship) has many advantages for life:

intuitive correctness of choice - it’s not for nothing that they say that the first decision often turns out to be the most correct and correct. So in this case - the first thoughts and feelings coming from the heart can become the key to future successful relationships, without the need to continue searching for your person and making new mistakes;
presence of positive emotions in life. In this case, everything connected with your loved one will bring joy and positive emotions - meetings, correspondence, calls, joint vacations, memories, dreams, etc. At the beginning of a relationship, happiness hormones are produced to the maximum, which do not decrease throughout happy love at first sight;
increased attention to one's appearance and behavior. It is quite logical that you want to please your partner and meet him according to all criteria. Therefore, many guys begin to actively pump up their muscles, girls go on diets and visit beauty salons, many sign up for various courses, improving their erudition and knowledge, wanting to become even better in the eyes of their chosen one;
saving money and time , which cannot be compared at all with long-term swinging relationships, when love is born from many years of friendship. With love at first sight, everything happens much faster, and to understand that you are in love, you need much less dates and all the expenses associated with them;
efficiency of registration of relations. With love at first sight (especially with mutual love!), partners are immediately confident in their feelings and they do not need to look closely for years and check whether this person is suitable for them in life.

Be promising

Literally the first seconds determine whether a girl will meet a guy. In these seconds, the guy’s appearance, his figure and... his prospects are assessed. It can be seen by the appearance and impression that the guy creates.

How can you become promising? There are several ways:

You can wear expensive accessories, such as a watch or a gold chain.
You can get acquainted while in your car.
You can dress in a formal suit.
You can set your voice intonation so that you speak like a successful and rich person.

In other words, your habits, look, voice, appearance and attributes with which you are surrounded should indicate that you are rich, successful, and purposeful.

Girls love promising guys. You may not yet have a lot of money and a personal business, but it is already clear from your habits that you can easily achieve this. Behavior, gestures, voice, external attributes, etc. in general indicate how far a guy can go in achieving his goals. If the guy is a loser, then it will be as noticeable as success.

Don't forget about the disadvantages of hasty decisions

unpreparedness for living together - falling in love and loving does not mean accepting a person with all his shortcomings and habits. That is why, knowing each other little, lovers begin to discover the other side of their partners, very often not being ready to accept their unpleasant sides;
burnout of love on an emotional level. If initially all love at first sight was tied to sexual relations, then very soon there may be disappointment in a person who, outside of sex, is completely uninteresting and does not evoke the proper emotions;
evidence of a partner's frivolity. Yes Yes! If you know for sure that before meeting you, your chosen one had a relationship built according to the same scheme with love at first sight, then be prepared that your frivolous and loving guy will just as easily look for new emotions for his life;
failure of the chosen one to meet expectations. Falling in love first of all with appearance and manners, over time you will learn more deeply the character traits, life principles and plans of a person. And here, too, disappointment may await many, from which no one is immune. Consider this another risk of starting a love-at-first-sight relationship and take a good look at your chosen one until you are completely immersed in new feelings;
lack of reciprocity. Such love at first sight is the most difficult case, which is difficult to agree with and which is very difficult to experience and forget. If your chosen one is free, you can try to interest him and even invite him on a date first. If he is married or in a relationship, the best solution would be to forget him and move on to something else, seeking help from a psychologist if necessary. And the best solution would be to travel and relax in another city and country. And who knows, maybe it is there that you will meet your soul mate - that acquaintance that is destined from above and which you will also immediately recognize at first sight.

Is it necessary to take risks?

No one can give a definite answer to this question, because each case is individual and unique in its own way. First , you need to figure out whether you are ready to let new love into your life, whether you are ready to change some of your plans and schedules, adjusting them to the rhythm of your joint future relationship. Secondly , you need to be aware of what exactly you are risking. If you have a great family, and on vacation you met a person and literally felt this same Cupid’s arrow, connecting you in one feeling, then you need to carefully weigh and think about everything. First of all, understand your feelings and desires in life. And of course, do not give unnecessary hopes to your new partner, allowing yourself to plunge into love only for a short time. After all, the chosen one or chosen one can completely surrender to the feeling and sincerely believe in your future together. Thirdly , men should not confuse the release of testosterone that occurs when meeting any potential sexual partner with real feelings and kinship of souls. In general, there can be two pieces of advice:

those with families need to think twice;
Free people can easily surrender to the flow of fate.

At the same time, psychologists recommend using your head a little, without immediately filling it with far-reaching plans, and try to look at your chosen one with objective eyes. Love at first sight, but fall in love not with a created and fictitious image, but with a specific person, noticing all his minuses and pluses that are in each of us. The main decision, in any case, remains yours. And only then will you be either ashamed of what you did, or excruciatingly painful because you missed your chance at happiness. Love at first sight still remains magic and is perceived as a gift from above. Perhaps this is how we should treat her. Giving yourself and your chosen one a chance, pursuing rapprochement, following your desires and trusting fate. Plus, you essentially have nothing to lose. If a mistake occurs, it can always be perceived as valuable experience. And if you’re lucky and you really meet your person, then you can become the happiest couple with a harmonious relationship built on kindred spirits, sexual attraction and similar life priorities.

Be generous

If you manage to show your generosity literally in the first 5 minutes, then you will clearly interest the girl. This can be done in a specific situation, when you don’t just approach a girl to get acquainted, but help her, save her in a difficult situation. Generosity is manifested not only in spending money, but also in using one’s strengths, capabilities, connections, etc.

The generosity of a man lies in the fact that he does not spare anything of his own for the sake of a woman. He will give everything he has to the woman. And if she becomes “his lady,” then he will definitely not regret it for her.